Miss, stop committing suicide

Chapter 65

When I opened my eyes, I was still in the blood-reeking space.

My body had already healed completely—I could move, breathe, and live without any issues.

I got up from the bed and wandered around. What greeted me were dried bloodstains, shriveled fingers scattered on the ground, and something that once might have been human, now rotting and emanating a putrid stench.

I wasn’t sure if this place was meant to frighten me or if it was just a space he used regularly. If it was the former, I’d give him credit—it was certainly effective.

“Alright, enough. Get out of my private quarters now.”

At his words, the space around me began to ripple wildly before spitting me out.

Unlike being dragged in, the sensation was more like being flung out.

It felt as though I had been swallowed by a whale and then vomited back out.

Johannes stood before me, no longer wearing his usual pristine academy uniform but rather plain brown casual clothes.

It was almost casual enough to be sleepwear. Rolling up his sleeves, he made an exaggeratedly comical bow, mimicking the manner of a lowly noble greeting a high-ranking one.

“Welcome to my private quarters.

You know, being in the public eye all the time can be so suffocating.”

“…This place…”

“Haha. Can’t you tell? It’s my bedroom. Though I suppose it’s a bit spacious because I use it for multiple purposes.”

I glanced around and saw a single bed in the far right corner.

The room was so massive that it was hard to decide whether to call it a bedroom or an auditorium.

The bed, at least, seemed solely for sleeping.

It was strange that there were several beds crammed together in another section of the room, but I didn’t bother asking. I doubted he’d give a meaningful answer.

The ceiling had hooks, perhaps for hanging things, and the floor was littered with tools that appeared sadistic in nature. On some of the furniture were objects—or what might have once been people.

My gaze landed on one such “object” as Johannes looked at me expectantly.

“What is… that?”

I asked, trembling as I pointed at a wooden slab with a naked woman strapped to it.

And she wasn’t the only one. There were several like her.

“What else? It’s a one-of-a-kind, priceless desk. I use it quite often, you know.”

“You’re insane.

You’ll ruin this country if you ever become Emperor. I wasn’t wrong when I cursed you—you’re a madman. How could you… how could you treat people like this—”

“Why, doesn’t your family do far worse in their sugar plantations, banana farms, or cotton fields?

Though I suppose the landlords now report to the Imperial family instead of you.”

“What happens to those filthy black creatures doesn’t concern humanity! You lunatic!”

“Ah, here’s a fun fact.

Just like we have brains in our heads, those ‘creatures’ you speak of also have human brains.”

I knew that. But I couldn’t accept it.

In my mind, they remained nothing more than filthy, vulgar livestock.

Johannes gave me a wide grin and walked toward me at a deliberate, stomping pace. Then, without warning, he raised his hand.

I flinched, squeezing my eyes shut, expecting a slap across the face…

Thud!

But it wasn’t my cheek that he struck.

As soon as I closed my eyes, his left fist slammed into my solar plexus.

The air was knocked out of me, and I doubled over, retching stomach acid.

“Even the desk was rebellious at first, just like you.”

As I collapsed, clutching my chest, he began kicking me mercilessly.

My body, my legs, my arms, and even my head—like a soccer ball.

I began to wonder if a misplaced blow would kill me. But I quickly realized that would’ve been wishful thinking.

Every time I reached the brink of unconsciousness, every time I felt I was about to die, the black smoke enveloped me, healing me perfectly.

That damned smoke was probably why Johannes survived despite being riddled with bullets earlier.

“Hah… hah… I’m getting tired.

I really should’ve built up my stamina, but I’ve always been too lazy.”

He paused to catch his breath before speaking again.

“So, do you feel like choosing your words more carefully now?”

“Your Highness… is insane—”

Blood trickled from my mouth, the sharp pain in my chest intensifying with every breath. 

It felt as if my ribs had been broken, puncturing a lung.

The pain was excruciating but somewhat familiar by now. Not that it made it any more bearable.

“…Honestly, whatever I say… nothing will change, will it?”

“You’re more insane than me, it seems.

You’ve been beaten like that, yet you still speak your mind. You even went so far as to put a hole in your own throat to try and kill me.

Usually, people become extremely conservative when it comes to matters involving their own lives.”

Johannes walked to where a chair sat and settled into it.

From there, he watched me, beaten and bloody, as if I were some spectacle. Then he casually pulled out a cigarette and lit it.

The peculiar smell of soap mingled with the smoke, and his slouched posture, devoid of any tension, made it clear—he was smoking a mixture of tobacco and opium.

He grinned widely, watching my battered body struggle to even stay upright.

After inhaling deeply from his cigarette, he seemed to be hit by the drug’s effects. Swaying unsteadily, he staggered toward the bed and collapsed onto it.

Staring at the wall, he began speaking in a lazy, muttering tone.

“You’ve been expelled, by the way. For inflicting irreparable harm on Lydia, that stupid Earl’s daughter.”

Then, curling into a ball on the bed, he burst into a fit of laughter.

“To grind someone’s face down like that—what a cruel woman you are!”

Drifting in and out of a drugged haze, Johannes eventually got up and, without a word, began stomping on me again.

My body screamed in pain, my joints begging for mercy, yet there wasn’t a single visible injury on me. The paradox of pain without harm was maddening.

“You don’t even scream—it’s no fun like this. So boring.

Beg for your life. Most people start listening once they’ve been beaten like this.”

Instead of replying, I spat at him.

Even that small act took all the strength I had left, and the spit didn’t even reach his face. It merely dirtied his shoe, leaving a faint red stain.

He raised his foot and wiped his now-dirtied shoe on my hair.

The humiliation was unbearable.

“Even with that glare, I won’t die.

I’ve buried so many already—siblings and rivals alike. They all looked at me with those same eyes.

The only ones left now are the family members who obediently follow my word.”

He laughed as he spoke, then suddenly stiffened. Without warning, he stomped his foot down on my right eye.

Pain exploded in my skull.

“Aaargh!!!”

The pain was so overwhelming that I pressed my face against the ground, rubbing it furiously, as if that could make it stop.

But the agony wouldn’t fade.

“…Don’t look at me like that.”

No matter how much I writhed or hurled curses, it was all meaningless.

Evan’s face floated to the surface of my mind—the way he had just stood there, watching as I was dragged off.

You said you’d save me. Then save me. Right now.

I’m in agony.

It hurts, it’s sad, it’s infuriating, it’s unbearable. If not now, when?

Blood—or maybe tears—streamed down my face.

I never expected anything from Vivian. She’d forget me in an instant.

Why wouldn’t she? There were plenty of people more competent, more dazzling than me.

Johannes muttered something toward the shifting shadow, and it approached me, lifting me and dragging me away.

“Rest up a bit. We’ll meet again when you’re in better shape.”

Sitting back on the bed, he waved at me with a cheery smile.

Endless corridors stretched before me as the shadow carried me deeper into the Imperial Palace.

As I was dragged along, I met the eyes of several women in white dresses.

Their gazes were hollow, devoid of any trace of hope. They looked at me as if I were a fish at the market, thrown onto the floor, reeking of death.

Even as they followed my movement with their eyes, they sipped tea nonchalantly, as if they were used to scenes like this. Perhaps they, too, had been abducted like I was.

A faint waltz began to play, coming from somewhere distant.

Its melancholic tones mocked and ridiculed me, but I didn’t even have the strength to lift a hand to block my ears.

Even the seemingly endless hallway had an end.

As walls came into view, the shadow carried me to a door at the very end, opened it, and threw me inside.

Then it shoved something the size of a baseball into my mouth before leaving and locking the door behind it.

Breathing through my mouth was impossible, so I resorted to breathing through my nose as I looked around.

The room was padded, the walls and floor soft.

Pressing down on the surface, I realized that even though I had been thrown in roughly, the impact hadn’t hurt.

Water dripped from the ceiling in small droplets, but instead of pooling, it flowed away into some unseen drain.

There was no bathroom, no toilet, no food—nothing.

Just a padded, sealed space from which there was no escape.

Realizing there was nothing I could do, I began to cry.

Perhaps it wasn’t just tears but blood as well.