Miracle Illusion

“Yeonwoo! Fancy meeting you here. How’s your vacation going? What brings you to Seoul?”The man who approached reeked of cigarette smoke. He draped his arm over Yeonwoo’s shoulder, completely ignoring Sungwoon in the wheelchair. From his tone and actions, they seemed very close, but Yeonwoo stood stiffly, his back straight.“Who’s this? A transfer student?”The man’s gaze dropped as he roughly patted the back of Yeonwoo’s head, and his mouth fell open. Sungwoon narrowed his eyes, looking between the man and Yeonwoo.“Do I know you?”“Wow… I heard you had an accident, and it turns out to be true.”The man seemed oddly pleased. Despite not mentioning anything good, his face lit up, making Sungwoon frown. What an ill-mannered jerk, he thought.“Hey. Who’s this guy?”“……”Yeonwoo remained silent, as if he wasn’t even there. Sweat trickled down the back of his neck. Sungwoon noticed Yeonwoo’s hand trembling beside his thigh and turned his gaze to the man.“Don’t you remember me?”“Who are you?”“Wow… unbelievable.”The man, still with his arm around Yeonwoo’s shoulder, leaned forward and gave Sungwoon a sneering smile. Sungwoon’s face grew more and more contorted.“I thought only your body was messed up, but your head’s messed up too.”“……”“Can you not walk anymore?”“Stop it.”Before Sungwoon could retort, Yeonwoo, who had been frozen and unable to control his breathing, spoke in a stiff voice, trying to stop the man. The man’s eyes rolled.“Stop it.”Yeonwoo even pushed the man away slightly. He had been acting like a mouse in front of a cat, but now he seemed quite brave. Sungwoon, still unsure of the situation, tilted his head and looked sharply at the man. He couldn’t remember, but it was clear they weren’t on good terms.“Stop what?”“Just go.”Yeonwoo’s hands, gripping the wheelchair, trembled. No matter how hard he pushed, the wheelchair wouldn’t move forward. Sungwoon cursed under his breath.“Hey. Who is this guy?”“I don’t know… let’s just go.”Yeonwoo’s voice shook. What kind of person was this to scare him so much?“Stay still so we can talk.”As Sungwoon grabbed the wheelchair’s armrest, ready to stand, there was a thud, and Yeonwoo fell to the ground. Sungwoon’s eyes widened.“Yeonwoo. Did you sell your courage during the vacation?”“Ugh…”“I told you not to show up during the vacation. You’ll die.”The man, who had punched Yeonwoo in the face, growled as he rolled his wrist.“What the hell, damn it.”Sungwoon stood up. He didn’t know who this guy was or what the situation was, but he couldn’t just stand by. Yeonwoo, groaning on the ground, didn’t seem to have any intention of fighting back. The man, cracking his neck, turned his gaze to Sungwoon.“Transfer student.”“Don’t reminisce. Just answer my question.”“You’re so confident in that thing.”The man pointed his chin at the wheelchair. Sungwoon, struggling to stand without holding onto the wheelchair, desperately put strength into his buckling knees to avoid falling.“You two are a perfect match. Stay close from now on.”“……”“One’s an orphan by birth, the other’s an orphan by accident. Damn, it’s hilarious. They say like attracts like. I guess orphans attract orphans.”The man, who had made a terrible joke without a second thought, laughed while holding his stomach. Sungwoon’s eyelids trembled with anger. He wanted to punch him right then and there, but his body, which struggled to even stand, wouldn’t support him. It was humiliating. Before the accident, a jerk like that would have been nothing, but now he didn’t even have the strength to slap him. His fists trembled. The humiliation outweighed the anger.“Don’t.”Yeonwoo, who had somehow gotten up, stood in front of Sungwoon.“Wow. The loyalty of orphans… truly touching.”“Say one more word.”Yeonwoo’s trembling hand held a red brick. It was blunt and covered in snow, as if he had found it somewhere. Sungwoon let out a helpless laugh. At least don’t let your hand shake…“Yeonwoo, are you going to hit me with that?”“Yeah.”“Wow, scary. But it looks like our Yeonwoo wants to die.”The man’s eyes gleamed. The brick in Yeonwoo’s trembling hand tapped against the wheelchair.“You’re really brave.”“……”“To think you’d pick up a brick…”“……”“I’m impressed. Should I applaud?”Sungwoon, sitting on the bed, clapped his hands towards Yeonwoo, who was sitting on the stool. Yeonwoo, with his lips protruding, lowered his head and said nothing. If it weren’t for the security guards who came running, Yeonwoo would have probably been beaten up. The man left, spewing incomprehensible curses, and the two returned to the hospital room, soaked in snow.“What’s that guy’s name?”“……”“I’ll be in the grave waiting for your answer.”Sungwoon mixed a playful tone to lighten the mood, but Yeonwoo’s expression didn’t change. Sungwoon tilted his head back and stared at the fluorescent light.“Hey. Hong Yeonwoo.”“…Yeah.”“Are you bothered by what that guy said?”“……”‘One’s an orphan by birth, the other’s an orphan by accident. Damn, it’s hilarious. They say like attracts like. I guess orphans attract orphans.’‘Wow. The loyalty of orphans… truly touching.’The man’s words echoed in his ears. Sungwoon, pressing his head against the bed’s backrest, let out a laugh. He saw Yeonwoo glance up.“Being an orphan by accident is fine. But being an orphan by birth must be really painful.”“……”Sungwoon laughed as he said something that would make anyone else cringe. It was a remark that stabbed both of their hearts, but somehow it felt like a necessary joke at the moment. Yeonwoo’s lips drooped. His jaw clenched as if holding back tears.“You said yesterday to tell you one thing I want to do.”“……”Yeonwoo nodded, biting his lips. It was amazing how he seemed on the verge of tears but never actually cried. Sungwoon, looking down at Yeonwoo, suddenly spoke seriously.“I have something I want to do.”“…What is it?”“Get better quickly and beat that guy up.”“……”“I’m going to beat him up, and I’ll beat him up for hitting you too.”“…What’s that?”“Just wait. Even if I die, I’ll kill that guy first.”It was a serious yet joking remark. Yeonwoo, with his head down, forced a smile and rubbed his swelling cheek with the back of his hand.“Are you okay?”“……”“Your face.”Sungwoon leaned out of bed and rummaged through the drawer, frowning. There was no ointment for bruises.“Hey.”“Yeah.”“You’re leaving at eight, right?”“……”“Let’s go to the pharmacy after rehab.”“……”“Wait for me until I finish.”Yeonwoo nodded slowly. Though no sobs were heard, the puddle forming on the floor suggested he was crying. Yeonwoo seemed particularly reluctant to show his tears to Sungwoon, as if it hurt his pride. Sungwoon turned away and lay down, hoping Yeonwoo would let out his tears during the hour left until rehab training.“Did you do well in training?”“Yeah.”“You’re sweating a lot. Go wash up.”As soon as Sungwoon returned from an hour of rehab training, Yeonwoo, who had been patiently waiting in the hospital room, rushed to him. Sungwoon wiped the beads of sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand and handed Yeonwoo a long box from his pocket.“What’s this?”“Apply it to your face. It’s for bruises.”“……”“Then go home and make your parents hap…”Sungwoon, limping with the IV pole, stopped talking. He had momentarily forgotten Yeonwoo was in the same situation as him. With his back to Yeonwoo, Sungwoon sighed discreetly.“Who do you live with?”“Huh?”“Do you live alone?”“…No.”“Then who?”“With my grandmother.”“Okay. Your grandmother will worry if she sees your face. So make sure to use the ointment.”He had been worried Yeonwoo might say he lived alone, but thankfully, he had family. In a way, Yeonwoo was better off than him. Sungwoon opened the drawer and took out a towel. His body was drenched in sweat and felt sticky.“I’m going to wash up, so go home.”“I’ll leave at eight.”“Are you in school? Why are you so fixated on the time?”“……”“Do as you please.”With a towel over his shoulder, Sungwoon left the hospital room again.“You’re really stubborn.”“……”As expected, Yeonwoo didn’t leave and was still there. Now, it felt empty without him sitting on the round stool. Sungwoon shook his head, drying his damp hair with the towel.“Choi Sungwoon.”“What?”Yeonwoo looked up at Sungwoon from beside the bed.“Don’t let what Park Jaeyul said bother you.”“……”Sungwoon, checking the time on his phone, turned his gaze. Yeonwoo’s neck was tense, blinking rapidly. He’d only known him for a short time, but he felt like he was starting to understand him. He was holding back tears again.“He’s always been like that. That’s just his personality. He’s always been that way.”“To whom?”“Huh?”“To whom has he always been like that?”“……”Sungwoon tilted his chin slightly. Given his current physical condition, he couldn’t respond properly, but before, he wouldn’t have tolerated such words. Yeonwoo, sensing the sharp question, nervously rubbed his knees with his palms.“It’s fine. It’s not important.”Fortunately, Sungwoon quickly dropped the question. It was already six o’clock, and it was getting dark outside the window. It seemed Yeonwoo would go home at eight again today. Having gone outside for the first time in a while, Sungwoon’s eyelids grew heavy quickly.“…Hey.”“Huh?”Blinking slowly and staring into space, Sungwoon narrowed his eyes and called Yeonwoo as if something had come to mind.“Where do you eat when you’re here?”“…Huh?”“Food. I’ve never seen you eat.”It was a curiosity that had arisen for the first time after nearly a month together. While Sungwoon ate the hospital food, he had never seen Yeonwoo eat. It was surprising that he only now found it odd.“Just. I eat outside.”“Where outside?”“Outside.”“Every day?”“Yeah.”“Every day you buy food?”“Yeah.”Yeonwoo clenched and unclenched his fists, showing signs of anxiety. He looked like someone who didn’t want to reveal a secret. Sungwoon narrowed his eyes.“Hey.”“…Yeah.”“Don’t come from tomorrow.”“……”Sungwoon pressed his stiff shoulder with his hand. Yeonwoo’s gaze, which had been looking down, suddenly shot up.“It’s not because I don’t like you, so don’t make that face.”“…Why are you saying this again?”“Stop coming. I can walk on my own now.”“……”“Oh. If you’re worried I’ll die, don’t be. I told you earlier, I can’t die until I kill that ugly guy.”Sungwoon let out a small laugh. Yeonwoo, standing straight, looked up at Sungwoon with a face that seemed on the verge of tears. There was a desperate look in his clear eyes.“Where do you live?”“…Sasundong.”“How do you come here every day when it takes more than an hour from there?”Sasundong. A place that only existed in his lost memories. He couldn’t remember moving or transferring schools. The name of the neighborhood, which he had learned through his aunt, was unfamiliar. It was only recently that he realized Yeonwoo, who had been coming to the hospital for nearly a month, lived there too. Lying in bed before sleep, he searched for Sasundong on his phone. It was an hour and ten minutes by bus.“I take the bus.”“Why do you do that?”“……”“You said you were my friend.”Sungwoon smiled, lifting one corner of his mouth. Yeonwoo’s cheeks turned bright red at his playful expression.“You’ve done enough as a friend, so don’t come from tomorrow.”“……”“Anything more would be burdensome. It’s awkward between guys.”Sungwoon raised his eyebrows. Yeonwoo said nothing and scratched his cheek with his finger.“Hey. Why are you pressing on the injured spot?”“……”It was the cheek that Jaeyul had hit. Sungwoon, surprised, reached out and grabbed Yeonwoo’s wrist. Yeonwoo blinked rapidly, avoiding Sungwoon’s gaze.“Hey. Hong Yeonwoo.”“……”Feeling sorry for Yeonwoo’s dejected appearance, Sungwoon wondered if he had grown fond of him without realizing it. He stretched his legs out of bed and sat on the edge. Yeonwoo peeked up at him.“Thank you.”“……”“You’re the only one who stayed by my side after the accident.”“……”“I’m not usually this bad, but I guess it was tough. Losing my parents and all.”“……”“I’m sorry.”Sungwoon spoke gently, as if confessing. His face, usually stern, softened with a pretty smile. Yeonwoo stared at him, entranced.“For a four-month friendship, you’re incredibly loyal.”“……”“I’ll repay you someday.”Sungwoon subtly emphasized the word “friend.” He intended it, and Yeonwoo understood. Trying to maintain a neutral expression, Yeonwoo avoided Sungwoon’s gaze, looking at the clock on the wall, the refrigerator, and the folded wheelchair.“So don’t come from tomorrow.”“……”“Please.”The last word lingered a bit. Yeonwoo still didn’t respond, keeping his mouth tightly shut.“I don’t usually let friends into my house. A month is too long. You should be paying part of the hospital bill.”Seeing Yeonwoo’s face, ready to burst into tears, Sungwoon playfully teased him. There was a faint tapping sound from below. Yeonwoo was picking at the skin on his fingers with his nails. Sungwoon widened his eyes.“Hey. Why are you picking at your healthy hand?”“…Choi Sungwoon.”“Why are you doing this without a bandage?”Large drops of blood began to form under Yeonwoo’s thumbnail. Sungwoon, alarmed, leaned over and grabbed Yeonwoo’s hand, pulling out a few tissues from the bedside.“Do you have attachment issues? Why are you picking at your skin?”The white tissue quickly turned red with blood. Sungwoon wrapped the tissue around Yeonwoo’s finger like a bandage. As Yeonwoo watched Sungwoon approach, a tear rolled down his cheek.“Can I come tomorrow too?”“…What?”Sungwoon, busy wrapping Yeonwoo’s finger, looked up belatedly. When their eyes met, Sungwoon sighed involuntarily.“And the day after tomorrow. And the day after that.”“……”“I won’t do anything you hate. Just don’t tell me not to come.”“……”“I’m asking you too.”Yeonwoo cried silently. Round tears pooled on his eyelids and then fell. His eyes, quickly turning red, looked like a rabbit’s. Forcing back tears made his lips tremble. Sungwoon, holding Yeonwoo’s hand tightly, was at a loss.‘It’s okay. Choi Sungwoon. It’s okay.’‘Just don’t die. Just wake up.’‘Choi Sungwoon, wake up…’The sobs that had desperately called out to him in his blood-soaked dreams overlapped with the reality of Yeonwoo’s gasping. The veins in Sungwoon’s arm stood out.“…Hey.”“…Yeah.”Sungwoon’s narrowed eyes trembled. Yeonwoo tilted his head and bit his lip. When Sungwoon let go of Yeonwoo’s hand, the bloodied hand fell limply.“I have to ask, just to be sure.”“……”“What kind of relationship did we have?”Sungwoon’s voice trembled slightly at the end. The strange feeling he had been having seemed to be turning into reality. An unknown anxiety enveloped his entire body.“…What kind of relationship do you think we had?”“I’m not in the mood for wordplay.”“……”The once gentle voice had turned cold. Yeonwoo, pale, gave a faint smile. At the same time, a tear fell to the floor.“I’m not into guys. I hope it’s not what I’m thinking.”Just as Yeonwoo opened his mouth to respond, Sungwoon hurriedly cut him off. Naturally, Yeonwoo’s mouth closed again. Sungwoon stared at Yeonwoo without blinking.“It’s not, right?”“……”“Damn it… it’s not, right?”Sungwoon cursed impatiently. Yeonwoo’s neck turned red as he lowered his head. The veins in Sungwoon’s neck bulged. Tension hung thick between them.“…No. It’s not.”After a long silence, Yeonwoo finally answered. He tried to smile, but the corners of his mouth trembled, making it look awkward. The sound of him swallowing his sobs mixed in.“Then what?”Sungwoon didn’t think they were just friends. Not many people would sacrifice so much for a friend, especially one they’d only known for four months. He tapped the blanket with his fingers, urging Yeonwoo to answer. Yeonwoo, tears brimming, tilted his head and smiled shyly.“Just. I liked you.”The ticking clock that had been so annoying was no longer audible. Sungwoon stopped breathing and stared blankly at Yeonwoo.“……”“Just… yeah. I liked you a lot.”“Haa…”“……”“Then… what about me?”The question came at the end of a long sigh. There was a sense of urgency in Sungwoon’s slightly faster question. It was a different kind of urgency from Yeonwoo’s. Yeonwoo smiled with half-closed eyes. The tears pooled on his eyelids.“You felt sorry for me.”“……”“So just feel sorry for me a little longer.”“……”“…Just a little longer.”More tears streamed down Yeonwoo’s cheeks. If the feelings he had suspected turned out to be true, he thought he would curse and throw him out, but Sungwoon found himself unable to say anything. It felt like a heavy stone was lodged in his throat.‘My head hurts like hell, so just go home.’‘…Can I come tomorrow?’‘Ah… damn it…’At Sungwoon’s low curse, Yeonwoo hurriedly got up. He put on his padded jacket and quickly headed for the door.‘Good night.’‘……’‘See you tomorrow.’With those words, Yeonwoo disappeared. His hasty departure made Sungwoon chuckle. Left alone, Sungwoon lay down and pressed his throbbing head. He had vaguely suspected it, but hearing it confirmed left him more bewildered.‘You felt sorry for me.’Maybe he had already accepted that Yeonwoo liked him in his heart. But what he ultimately wanted to confirm was Yeonwoo’s last words. ‘You felt sorry for me.’ He wanted to confirm that he didn’t like Yeonwoo.“Damn it… what…”Sungwoon cursed in frustration. When he opened his eyes, his parents were gone, his memories lost, and the only one by his side was a friend he didn’t even know. And that friend liked him. He had no idea how to process it.“I don’t know…”I pitied a guy who liked me…? Did I…? The more I thought about it, the more my head hurt. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t find a fragment of memory. I decided to just sleep. Even with the lights on, it was bright even with my eyes closed.“Sungwoon, try this.”“I don’t like fish.”“This one isn’t fishy at all. Just try it once.”“No, all fish are fishy.”“But I made it with effort. Just try it.”“Mom, you enjoy it.”My mother, wearing an apron, pouted as she left my room. No matter how much she tried, I could always detect the fishy smell. Staring intently at the freshly completed painting, I called out to my mom in the living room.“Why do you always make me say everything twice? What is it now?”Covered in paint, I pointed to the canvas on the easel. My mom, who came back into the room grumbling, had her eyes wide open.“Oh my…”“What do you think?”“I think I gave birth to a genius.”She covered her mouth with her hands, continuously admiring the painting. On the perfectly square canvas was a portrait of her.“I worked harder on this than for my college entrance exams.”“I could believe it was a photograph.”“The real thing is much prettier.”“If only you didn’t talk.”The fish smell wafted in through the open door. I wrinkled my nose and continued.“I’m going to paint Dad too and give them together.”“You’re going to paint Dad too?”“What, you only want yours?”“No, I just thought it might be hard for you.”“Painting my parents is not hard.”“When did my son grow up like this?”Mom gently patted the back of my head. It seemed like just yesterday when she was carrying me in her belly, and she felt a surge of pride mixed with a bit of emotion. I was only ten when Dad changed, but instead of being upset, I comforted myself, saying as long as Mom was happy, I was happy.“I’ll give it to him on his birthday.”“Can’t you give it to me first? So I can hang it on the wall.”“No, you both have to receive it together.”“But his birthday is quite a while away.”“Who did you inherit this impatience from, Grandma or Grandpa?”The two of them had identical smiles. I looked at the completed painting with a content smile. Seeing how much Mom loved it made all the effort worthwhile. Mom’s hand on my shoulder slowed.“Son.”“Yeah?”“Thank you.”“For what… all of a sudden?”Though I was a bit cheeky, I didn’t really enjoy sentimental moments. I shrugged my shoulders, playfully scolding my mom.“I’m sorry.”“For what?”“My son will be great.”“……”Feeling something was off, I slowly turned my head. I could hardly see her face, looking down at me.“Mom…?”“I’m sorry, son.”“Mom.”Sungwoon’s voice grew urgent. Even when he blinked rapidly, he couldn’t see his mother’s face. It felt like hearing a voice in the darkness.“Mom.”“……”“Don’t go. Wait. Don’t go.”He didn’t know what was happening. He didn’t realize it was a dream. But he felt a sudden urgency. Tears flowed from a desperate longing. Sungwoon reached out blindly. His mother remained out of reach. She was there, but when he touched her, she dispersed like smoke.“Mom, wait…”“Son, I love you.”His mother vanished, evaporating like steam.“Ah…”The familiar feel of the narrow hospital bed came back. Tears from his temples soaked the pillow. Sungwoon pressed his fist into his chest, finding it hard to breathe.“Ugh…”The strained neck hurt as he turned his body. Unconsciously, he looked at the round stool next to his bed and then closed his eyes tightly. He felt lost, not knowing what to rely on. The future seemed dark and uncertain. Why did only I survive? Why me? I should have died then. Regret surged like waves. He had never felt so vulnerable.It took a long time to fall back asleep.“If you’re here, come in. Don’t just stand there.”The hospital door burst open. Yeonwoo, who had been hesitating in the hallway for over thirty minutes, startled and trembled. Sungwoon chuckled dryly.“Are you doing this on purpose? Trying to make me feel guilty?”“…No.”Yeonwoo quickly joined Sungwoon in the room. Sungwoon’s puffy eyes were red.“Hey.”“What?”“What you said yesterday, are you sure?”The fact that Yeonwoo liked Sungwoon and the fact that Sungwoon didn’t like him back. Sungwoon needed the latter to be true. Yeonwoo nodded slowly.“Yeah.”“I never asked you to come.”“I know.”“I don’t remember, but I have no intention of liking you.”“…Okay.”“And I don’t pity you.”Who pities whom. The unspoken words lingered. Yeonwoo muttered as he took off his padded jacket.“Does it matter?”“…Yeah.”Yeonwoo folded the jacket and put it under the bed. Sungwoon sighed softly as he watched him.“Since you’re here, help me.”“…What?”“I need to go somewhere.”Leaning against the bed, Sungwoon spoke quietly. Yeonwoo stared at him with wide eyes. Sungwoon, looking at Yeonwoo’s worn sweatshirt, took a deep breath.“Hey.”“…Yeah.”“You don’t smell.”“……”“Why do you always take off your jacket when it’s cold?”It was an apology of sorts. Sungwoon covered his red neck with his hand. Yeonwoo, flustered, couldn’t find the right words and just stared with wide eyes. Sungwoon opened his closet. There were some clothes his aunt had brought.“Let’s go.”“Huh? Oh… okay.”Sungwoon quickly took off his top. Startled, Yeonwoo quickly lowered his gaze. After changing from his hospital gown into casual clothes, Sungwoon retrieved Yeonwoo’s crumpled padded jacket from under the bed and handed it to him.“It’s my father’s birthday today.”“Ah…”“Do you know where my house is?”“House?”“Yeah. I don’t remember.”“…I know.”“Let’s go there first.”Sungwoon unfolded the wheelchair that was folded in half. Yeonwoo took hold of the handles as if he’d been waiting for it. Sitting in the wheelchair, Sungwoon sighed inwardly. There seemed to be no place he could lean on. His life felt pitiful. Using Yeonwoo, who liked him, seemed ridiculous. Someday he’d be punished for it. Though he couldn’t imagine a punishment worse than living.⟡˖ ࣪The house, untouched for nearly two months, was desolate. Fortunately, the password was the same as their previous house. Entering with Yeonwoo, Sungwoon looked around the unfamiliar place with unfocused eyes. It was a place he didn’t recognize at all.“That’s your room.”Ironically, the one who remembered this house was Yeonwoo. He pointed to the room directly in front of the entrance as they entered.“I’ll help you.”“……”Since the wheelchair couldn’t go inside, Sungwoon had to rely on Yeonwoo’s help. Passing through the kitchen, he noticed a large pot on the stove. Mom must have made something. Sungwoon quickly looked away.“What do you need?”“……”Sungwoon, caught off guard by Yeonwoo’s question, pressed his lips together. He wasn’t sure if the scene from his dream was really a dream or a fragment of his lost memory. Did I paint Mom? Maybe it wasn’t a dream? The fragmented memories made his head throb.“Sit down for now.”Yeonwoo led him to the bed. Sitting on the edge, Sungwoon rested his elbows on his knees, deep in thought. The room seemed like the one from his dream.“Could you find a painting for me?”“A painting?”“Yeah. A painting on canvas… of my mom, my mom’s face.”Saying “mom” made Sungwoon choke up, and he lowered his head. Yeonwoo quickly started searching the room.“Here it is!”Yeonwoo’s excited shout came soon after. Sungwoon slowly looked up. The painting from his dream was in Yeonwoo’s hands.“Is this it?”“Yeah.”“Is there just one?”“Yeah.”He couldn’t remember if he had painted his father. Looking around the room, Sungwoon pointed to a square sketchbook on the desk.“Should I take this too?”“…Yeah.”Yeonwoo put the sketchbook in his bag and held the canvas in his arms. Sungwoon, feeling useless, sat still in frustration.“Shall we go?”“Yeah.”Through his aunt, Sungwoon found out where his parents were buried. He had expected them to be cremated, but surprisingly, they were in a grave. For someone unprepared like Sungwoon, he didn’t know what was better, but at least it wasn’t too far away. As they left, the empty house behind them felt even lonelier.“Where did she say it was?”Constantly checking the messages from his aunt, Sungwoon squinted. There were too many graves to find easily.“I’ll look for it. Wait here for a moment.”Yeonwoo parked the wheelchair on the side and ran to the guide sign at the entrance, then came back.“Go up this way. It’s not far.”“I’ll walk.”“It’s too far to walk.”“It’s uphill. Pushing the wheelchair will be really tough for you.”Sungwoon prepared to get out of the wheelchair. Though he couldn’t walk alone without Yeonwoo’s help, he didn’t want to use the wheelchair even when visiting his parents. He also didn’t want to burden Yeonwoo. But Yeonwoo shook his head firmly.“No. Not yet…”“……”“This time, it’s my turn. I’m good at going uphill.”With those inexplicable words, Yeonwoo pressed down on Sungwoon’s shoulder and started pushing the wheelchair. Sungwoon couldn’t respond and just sat there. It was a steep hill, hard enough to climb alone, let alone pushing a wheelchair. But Yeonwoo, despite his labored breathing, managed to get them up the hill.“I think it’s here.”“Yeah, it is.”Two mounds of graves were side by side. There was no need to check. Sungwoon’s name was written in Chinese characters on the tombstone.“……”“I’ll go get some water.”Yeonwoo tactfully stepped away. The sound of him running down the hill gradually faded. Sungwoon sat in the wheelchair, staring blankly at the two graves. The left one was his father’s, the right one his mother’s. He thought he would cry, but he wasn’t as sad as he expected. He felt emotionally numb. Slowly, Sungwoon got out of the wheelchair.“……”Withered flowers were placed next to the tombstone. Probably left by relatives. Sungwoon sat down heavily in front of the grave. He wished he had brought flowers. Not knowing what to do, he hadn’t prepared anything. Slowly, he reached out and touched his mother’s grave. The dry grass felt rough.“…Mom.”He didn’t think he would cry, but tears flowed down his cheeks as soon as he called out to his mother. Sungwoon exhaled silently, not even blinking.“Mom.”It was hard to believe that the mound of earth covered in grass was his mother. No, everything had been unbelievable since he woke up in the hospital. Sungwoon’s eyelids moved slowly up and down.“…Dad.”Are you there too, Dad?This time, he touched the left grave. The lack of blood relation didn’t lessen his affection. The two identical graves pierced his heart. Hot tears welled up at his chin.“Ah…”His chest ached. His heart hurt so much he wanted to tear it out. Sungwoon leaned against his mother’s grave and collapsed sideways. The biting wind wasn’t as cold as his empty heart.“Mom…”He endlessly stroked the grass swaying in the wind. The soft blades tickled his rough hand. Sungwoon’s shoulder, leaning against the grave, trembled.“How am I supposed to live…”His voice cracked. His sobs grew louder. He was scared. The unprepared farewell was terrifying. He didn’t know what to do and felt lost. How was he supposed to live, or could he even live?“Mom… Dad…”There was no response. Their voices were still clear in his ears, but he couldn’t hear them anymore.‘Sungwoon.’‘Son.’The pain was too heavy to bear. Sungwoon’s neck caved in. His bloodshot eyes turned red. Not thinking about it didn’t make it go away. That’s what family was. Maybe he shouldn’t have come. He should have stayed at the hospital. Sungwoon rubbed his eyes, clearing his blurred vision.“Do you want this?”Yeonwoo’s voice came from behind. Sungwoon didn’t even think to wipe his tears and just looked up at him. His empty eyes lacked strength. Yeonwoo, lips pressed into a line, held out the canvas he had been carrying.“Thank you.”Sungwoon placed the painting neatly in front of his mother’s tombstone. It was a vivid painting, as if to show who the grave belonged to. A hollow laugh escaped Sungwoon’s lips.