Miracle Illusion

“It’s really crowded.”“Of course it is. It’s Christmas Eve.”“Isn’t it hard for you, Sungwoon?”“The driver has it tough, not me.”The highway seen through the windshield looked just like a parking lot. The fear of passing five o’clock was beginning to grow as the sky began to darken, but the countless cars simultaneously braking made the red lights flash everywhere, so it didn’t feel so dark after all. Sungwoon, with earphones in, glanced at the estimated arrival time under the navigation and started playing a phone game.“If you look at your phone that closely, your eyes will get bad.”“I’ll stop after a while.”It was a car racing game that used to be played a lot on the computer. He wasn’t really fond of games, but it was suitable for passing time during the long car ride.“But it’s clearing up quickly.”“It’ll get congested again soon. There’s a curve ahead.”“Where did all these cars come from?”Sungwoon’s father pinched the navigation screen to shrink it. Sure enough, the red congested section started again from a short distance away. He thought it would take five hours to get there, but it seemed it would take at least seven. The date was definitely wrong. Sungwoon subtly increased the volume on his phone.“There seems to be an accident ahead.”“Indeed. A police car passed by a while ago.”“Choi Sungwoon, you have your seatbelt on, right?”“Yes.”It seemed like the road was clearing up, but then the brake lights lit up one by one from the front. Sungwoon’s father braked somewhat urgently, and his mother turned on the emergency lights immediately. The blinking sound made Sungwoon take off one of his earphones.“It seems like a big accident happened.”An ambulance siren was heard, and at the same time, dazzling lights from tow trucks passing along the shoulder flashed by.“Oh…”His father checked the navigation and his mother leaned forward to get some water. Sungwoon unconsciously turned around. Something felt off. The truck approaching from behind was too fast.“Father, can that truck stop?”“What?”“The truck behind is too fast…”Before his father could turn his head, there was a tremendous crash. Sungwoon, who witnessed the truck approaching, instinctively covered his face with his arms and leaned to the right. The car, hit on the left rear bumper, was wedged between a large bus in front and the truck behind, crushed and then spun around before crashing somewhere with a huge impact. It wasn’t over. The grating sound of metal scraping the ground and the strange smell began to invade his senses.“Ah…”My head hurt so much. I couldn’t see anything. There was immense pain in my thigh, but I couldn’t lift my head. Whether the car had flipped or not, the blood rushing to my head made my neck hurt. I couldn’t hear anything from the front. I didn’t even know if my limbs were still attached. It felt like everything had been cut off, and only my brain existed.“Mom…”Instead of my mother’s answer, I heard the sound of water leaking. Judging by the nauseating smell, it seemed to be oil. One of my eyes wouldn’t open properly. There was immense pain in my abdomen and chest where the seatbelt pressed.“Father…”I faintly smelled blood. Seeing my vision turn red, it seemed my face was covered in blood. I wanted to say something, but only groans came out when I opened my mouth. Just a moment ago, the heater was on full blast, but now my whole body was freezing. Ah, there was a car accident. Sungwoon, who realized the situation a bit late, immediately lost consciousness.“Wake up. Choi Sungwoon, wake up…”“Don’t die. Just don’t die.”“It’s okay. Choi Sungwoon. It’s okay…”Someone’s sobbing seemed to last for quite a while, but it was too faint to recall clearly.⟡˖ ࣪“Do you know where you are?”“……”“Can you see my face now?”“……”A doctor in a white coat and two nurses in similar attire crowded around the bed. Sungwoon, lying on the bed and slowly moving his eyelids, turned his eyes to look at a familiar face behind the nurses.“Oh my! He recognizes me. Sungwoon, it’s your aunt, your aunt!”His aunt, whom he hadn’t seen in years, took a step closer to Sungwoon with wide eyes.“His eyes look strange. Is he going to become a vegetable again?”“Once someone wakes up, the chances of that happening are low. Don’t worry.”“His eyes lack strength. Why can’t he speak?”“Please calm down, ma’am.”The unexpected commotion made Sungwoon’s brow furrow. All the sounds were muffled and unclear. Just opening his eyes felt like a struggle, and at that moment, the doctor covered Sungwoon’s eyes with a black cloth. He had no strength to move a finger and just breathed. It seemed like an oxygen mask was on, but could he not move anymore? What had happened? There were many thoughts, but no emotions followed. It felt like a dream.“Is he really okay?”“Let’s run some tests. Ma’am, please step aside for a moment.”The sound of wheels rolling on the floor was heard. Soon, Sungwoon’s body was lifted into the air. He felt nauseous instantly. It felt uncomfortable as if hoses were inserted all over his body. With a rattling sound, he was moved somewhere while lying on the bed. Something nauseating rose to his throat. And Sungwoon fainted again.“No way… Is amnesia something that happens to anyone like in the movies? I mean… I’m just stunned. The kid can’t even speak properly. And walking? Of course not. He’s been lying down for over a month. I don’t know. He doesn’t even remember the accident. Ah, I told you, I don’t know. Am I a doctor? Seeing that he recognizes me, he doesn’t seem completely out of it… I don’t know. He might remember some things. Discharge is up to the doctor, not me.”His aunt’s phone call dragged on. It seemed better to go out and talk, but she kept chatting away as if she didn’t realize her voice was echoing in the hospital room. Sungwoon, sitting on the bed, stared blankly ahead with unfocused eyes.“Lost memories can be temporary and may return soon, or they might be permanently forgotten.”The doctor’s words echoed in his ears. Amnesia. It was absurd. It was so ridiculous that he wanted to laugh, but his lips didn’t move at all. Just like in the movies, losing memories so easily was unbelievable.There was a bigger problem. He couldn’t even remember where his memory started. Of course, he remembered basic family relationships like his mom, dad, and the aunt talking on the phone outside, and who he was, but he didn’t know exactly what memories he had lost. He couldn’t even be sad about the parts of his life that had disappeared because he didn’t know what they were.“These are PTSD symptoms. Aphasia can occur. It’s rare, but not impossible.”He couldn’t speak properly. Sounds came out when he opened his mouth, but he couldn’t form basic words. The sentences that came to mind were broken and scattered like a child’s when they passed through his throat, and his voice was hoarse and drawn out as if a stone was placed on his neck. It took a long time to say even one sentence.“Dad… and, mom…”“They’re in another hospital. You can’t meet them yet.”“Let’s focus on treatment for now.”With a cracked and hoarse voice, Sungwoon barely managed to form words, but his aunt interrupted him. The doctor, who had been glancing between the two, adjusted his glasses with the back of his hand and changed the subject. Sungwoon’s eyes turned gray. “They’re in worse shape than me. They’re more seriously injured.” His mind cried out in sorrow, but neither tears nor voice came out. He felt like a doll whose emotions had disappeared. Sungwoon stared blankly at the doctor.A month. That was how long Sungwoon had been lying unconscious on a bed, relying on an oxygen mask. His condition had been so severe that he had been transferred twice, and this was the third hospital. He couldn’t walk properly and had to depend on a wheelchair. His hair, once shaved, had grown back in patches, looking unsightly. His body was emaciated, resembling a corpse, and there was a deep scar on his thigh where a car part had been embedded. Looking down at his pale wrist visible through the hospital gown, Sungwoon let out a small laugh. What on earth happened? Did he hurt his head? It was hard to make sense of the situation.“Oh my. Yeonwoo, you’re here? And the teacher too!”“How’s Sungwoon?”“He’s awake! But…”After the call ended, it seemed quiet again, but then the hallway outside the room became noisy once more. Soon, Sungwoon’s aunt could be heard whispering in a low voice. Whether fortunately or unfortunately, he couldn’t hear the content, but anyone could guess. They were probably talking about his condition.“Sungwoon, do you remember the teacher and Yeonwoo?”Sungwoon, who had been staring blankly, turned his head at the sound of the door opening. Behind his aunt, who peeked in, stood a man who seemed to be in his early forties and a much younger man. Sungwoon stared at them with unfocused, dark eyes.“Sungwoon, Yeonwoo is…”“Excuse me, aunt.”“Why?”“……”The young man called Yeonwoo grabbed his aunt’s arm and shook his head. It seemed like a signal not to say something, and the aunt nodded in bewilderment. Strangers barging into the hospital room and having conversations only they understood—it was absurd. Sungwoon closed his eyes tightly, feeling ridiculous. He wanted to curse, but it was too difficult to speak.“Sungwoon, this is your homeroom teacher, and this is your friend, Hong Yeonwoo. Do you remember anything?”“……”“Oh dear, he doesn’t seem to remember…”“It’s okay.”“You guys talk. Sungwoon, I’ll step out and take a call.”The aunt, who seemed to have an endless number of calls to make, hurriedly left the room with her phone. In the private room, only the homeroom teacher, Yeonwoo, and Sungwoon, who was as good as a stranger to them, remained.“Sungwoon, are you okay?”“……”Sungwoon nodded indifferently. The homeroom teacher he remembered wasn’t this man. This person must be part of the memories he had lost. The man named Hong Yeonwoo, standing beside him with a face that looked like he was about to cry at any moment, also seemed to be.“I’ll come back when you feel a bit better. I have things to discuss with you.”The homeroom teacher wasn’t a particularly good person. He had visited Sungwoon only twice—when he heard about the accident and now when Sungwoon woke up. Today, he was likely here to discuss college admissions. Sungwoon, knowing this, nodded indifferently.“Yeonwoo, will you stay here?”“Yes.”“See you next time.”“Yes, goodbye.”Yeonwoo, who had been keeping a distance from the bed, bowed his head to the teacher, who then left the room, leaving Yeonwoo alone with Sungwoon.“Are you feeling okay?”“……”“It’s really good that you’re awake.”“……”“Really…”Although no answer came, Yeonwoo sniffed once and asked with a determined tone.“Can you eat something?”He then opened the refrigerator as if it were his own house. Despite being in a vegetative state for a month, the refrigerator was fully stocked, which was absurd. Sungwoon turned his head, feeling too tired to even answer.“It’s probably too soon to eat anything, right? You’ll have to eat hospital food.”“……”“…Choi Sungwoon.”There was a round stool next to the bed, but Yeonwoo didn’t sit down. He stood there, calling Sungwoon in a small voice. Sungwoon, who didn’t even turn his head, furrowed his brows irritably.“Don’t you remember me?”A curse came to mind. Sungwoon, frowning harshly, turned his head sharply to glare at Yeonwoo. Are you kidding me right now? Do you think I’m a joke? Are you messing with me? He wanted to hurl curses, but his voice wouldn’t come out as if his throat was blocked. Sungwoon bit his lip to suppress the rising irritation.“You don’t remember, huh.”“……”“Yeah, it’s okay.”Yeonwoo rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand and squatted down to open the refrigerator. He had said earlier that eating might not be a good idea, so it was unclear why he was opening it again. Sungwoon glared at him with sharp eyes, biting his lip.“If the doctor says you can eat fruit, have this.”“……”“Shine Muscat. You like grapes, right?”“……”“No… you said you liked them.”Yeonwoo, rummaging through the refrigerator, spoke in a choked voice. There were large green grapes in the bottom compartment. Sungwoon, feeling too tired to respond, placed his palm on his forehead. The thick needle in the back of his hand pricked his skin, causing a sharp pain. They didn’t seem to be very close friends. Grapes were one of the fruits he particularly disliked.“Just… get out.”It wasn’t easy to tell him to get lost. With a heavy throat that felt like it was filled with metal, he barely managed to express his intention. His voice, cracked and hoarse, echoed between them. Yeonwoo’s eyes widened and wavered.“Damn it…”Even cursing took time. Sweat trickled down his temples every time he strained his throat. Why had he become such a wreck? Sungwoon clenched his fist and hit the bed, swallowing his curses. His stomach churned like waves.“Why are you cursing?”Yeonwoo, who had briefly looked surprised, quickly rubbed his nose with the back of his hand as if nothing had happened. He took out a few wet wipes from the drawer and started cleaning various spots in the room, as if he couldn’t see Sungwoon glaring at him. Sungwoon’s gaze followed him. Every time Yeonwoo moved, the padding he wore rustled.“Ugh…”Suddenly, he felt nauseous. His stomach churned, and his throat convulsed. Sungwoon, holding onto the bed’s armrest, bent over and gagged.“I’ll call the nurse. Just a moment.”Yeonwoo, startled, hurriedly approached to press the call button, but Sungwoon was faster. Forgetting that he couldn’t move properly, he stretched his leg out of the bed. It was inevitable that his body collapsed like a domino as soon as his foot touched the floor.“Choi Sungwoon! Are you okay?”Yeonwoo, who had been about to press the red call button, rushed to Sungwoon. Sungwoon, who had collapsed, couldn’t hold back and vomited an unknown liquid on the floor. Since he hadn’t eaten anything, it was probably the liquid entering through the needle in his wrist. The vomit on the floor emitted a nauseating smell.“Are you hurt?”“Ah…”The metallic sound of his throat scraping was heard again. His trembling legs were more shocking than the vomit. Sungwoon looked down at his knees, which wouldn’t straighten properly, and sighed softly. The white hospital gown was stained with yellow vomit, looking dirty.“Do you need to vomit more?”Yeonwoo cupped his hands and placed them under Sungwoon’s chin. Sungwoon’s eyes flashed sharply, and he pushed Yeonwoo’s hand away. Being pitied felt disgusting.“Ah… damn it…”It was so absurd that he should have laughed, but instead, tears came out. Sungwoon, sitting on the floor, covered his eyes with his palm and sobbed, his shoulders shaking. Even so, the corners of his mouth lifted, and a faint sound of air escaped. At the very least, he felt he should know what had happened to him and why he had to go through this. It was just, just absurd.“It’s okay.”Yeonwoo rolled up some tissues and wiped the vomit off the floor. Then he took out wet wipes and scrubbed Sungwoon’s sleeve. His hands moved briskly, unlike Sungwoon, who was trembling.“Don’t be scared.”“Ah…”“It’s okay.”Yeonwoo, who had gathered the tissues and wet wipes and thrown them in the trash, pressed the red call button. It would be a disaster if he got hurt while trying to move Sungwoon back to the bed by himself. Sungwoon, who couldn’t even walk on his own, leaned his head back and banged it against the bed’s armrest to suppress the emotions boiling inside him. The sound echoed through the hospital room.“Don’t do that.”“Ah…!”“Please, don’t.”A soft palm cradled the back of his head. Yeonwoo, who had placed his hand on the metal that Sungwoon’s head was banging against, spoke in a voice tinged with moisture. Sungwoon turned his bloodshot eyes to look at Yeonwoo. He looked like he was about to burst into tears, but strangely, he didn’t cry. A sigh of frustration escaped through Sungwoon’s teeth.⟡˖ ࣪He had to practice walking every day. On the first day, he couldn’t sleep all night, fearing he might never walk again and would be confined to a wheelchair, but fortunately, that wasn’t the case. Sungwoon had to walk back and forth in the hospital corridor five times a day as the doctor instructed.“Only two more laps left.”If only his voice worked properly, he would have cursed Yeonwoo out. No matter how much he told him to leave, Yeonwoo stubbornly stayed in the hospital room and even followed him to his rehabilitation training. His aunt, who had been there the day he woke up, only sent texts asking about his condition and didn’t show up at the hospital from the next day. So, instead of his blood-related family, it was Yeonwoo, whom he didn’t even remember, who showed up at the hospital every day. Sungwoon sighed softly and wiped his sweat while holding onto the walking aid. He had only walked three laps, but he was sweating like it was raining.“Are you tired? Want some water?”Yeonwoo quickly followed him, opening a bottle of water and handing it to Sungwoon with sparkling eyes. Sungwoon irritably swatted his hand away. The bottle, losing its balance, fell and created a puddle on the floor. Yeonwoo, as if it was no big deal, bent down to pick it up. For some reason, he had tissues in his pocket and used them to wipe the floor. Sungwoon twisted one corner of his mouth as he looked down at Yeonwoo.“Just… get lost…”It was easier to speak than before, but still unnatural. Yeonwoo’s busy hands paused for a moment. Sungwoon didn’t miss the chance to continue.“Damn it, you’re annoying…”“Only two more laps.”But Yeonwoo shamelessly acted as if he hadn’t heard. He didn’t look like it, but he seemed to have quite a personality. Sungwoon glared at him in disbelief and then started walking again. A sharp pain shot up from where his knee and thigh connected, but he gritted his teeth and endured it. He had to walk as quickly as possible.He heard slow footsteps behind him. It seemed Yeonwoo was following him again. Sungwoon, thinking he should ask his aunt to transfer him to another hospital soon, quickened his pace.“Ugh…”It was too much. His knee bent at a ninety-degree angle, and his body tilted forward. The pain shot up to his skull as his knee hit the floor. Sungwoon gritted his teeth and grabbed the handrail to lift himself up. The footsteps behind him also stopped. If Yeonwoo had rushed over to help him out of pity, he might have slapped him, but fortunately, Yeonwoo didn’t move an inch.“Haa…”It took more than five minutes to stand up. His hospital gown was soaked with sweat, turning a darker color. Did he say there were only two laps left? Sungwoon grabbed the handrail and took another step. At the same time, the quiet footsteps behind him followed at a consistent distance.“Father, can that truck stop?”“What?”“The truck behind is too fast…”The smell of blood mixed with oil stung his nose. His vision turned red, and he couldn’t see anything. He tried to move his unresponsive hand to grab onto something, but it felt like he was falling into a dark void, unable to reach anything.“Ah…”His thigh was burning. It felt like boiling metal had been poured directly onto it. It seemed like his leg had been cut off, but he couldn’t see to confirm. He fumbled around his thigh with his numb hand. He couldn’t tell if the liquid soaking his hand was rain or blood.“Mom… Father…”He tried to speak, but no sound came out. He reached out into the void, desperately waving his hand. Fortunately, he managed to grab onto something.“Huh…”“Are you okay?”Sungwoon, who had been asleep, suddenly opened his eyes. Yeonwoo, who had been wiping Sungwoon’s hand with a warm towel, looked at him with wide eyes. Sungwoon’s forehead was glistening with cold sweat.“Are you in pain? Should I call the nurse?”“……”Sungwoon, who had taken a sharp breath, looked down at his trembling hands. There was nothing in his pale, white hands.“Ah…”Sungwoon tightly closed his eyes. The last thing he had touched in his dream was undoubtedly his mother’s hair. It felt like standing naked on a hill with a cold wind blowing. Sungwoon hid his violently trembling hands under the blanket. His heart was racing, and his forehead was hot.“Why are you sweating so much? Are you in pain?”Yeonwoo, who had been pacing beside the bed, reached out to Sungwoon’s face with a worried expression. The sweat that had gathered at his chin transferred to Yeonwoo’s pale hand.“Get away…”His hoarse voice was sharp. Sungwoon swatted Yeonwoo’s hand away and irritably wiped his chin. He had sweated so much that the blanket was damp. Having nightmares at this age, he must not be in his right mind.“…Where are you going?”“I’m going to wash up.”“I’ll get the wheelchair.”“Ah…”Yeonwoo moved quickly, as if he were Sungwoon’s caregiver. Sungwoon’s neck veins stood out as he grabbed the bed’s armrest, preparing to get down. He tried to hold back, but the irritation that had been barely contained finally overflowed.“Move…”He was even more frustrated because he couldn’t convey what he wanted to say properly. Sungwoon’s jaw tightened as he gritted his teeth. Seeing his expression, which looked like he was about to explode, Yeonwoo took a step back in surprise. His moist eyes wavered in confusion.“I’ll just help you get into the wheelchair, then.”“Damn it… I said, it’s fine.”Despite his frightened expression, Yeonwoo didn’t back down. He bit his red lips and unfolded the wheelchair that was leaning against the wall, bringing it to Sungwoon. Sungwoon muttered a low curse. He knew it was a pointless stubbornness. He knew better than anyone that he couldn’t get down from the bed, which was lower than his waist, on his own. But he didn’t want to admit it and stubbornly insisted.“You’ll get hurt if you fall.”Yeonwoo, who had approached, grabbed Sungwoon’s arm to support him. Sungwoon, holding onto the armrest and sitting in the wheelchair, let out a hot breath through his tightly clenched teeth. He couldn’t describe the emotions he was feeling.“I’ll push you.”Even his arm muscles weren’t working properly. The wheels kept going off track as he tried to roll them. Yeonwoo, who had been silently watching, approached as if he had been waiting. Sungwoon, clenching his fist, slammed it onto the wheelchair’s handle. Yeonwoo flinched and quickly withdrew his outstretched hand.“Hey… get lost…”“……”“Damn it… you smell… disgusting…”“……”“Move…”Sungwoon’s eyes were filled with hostility. Yeonwoo, blinking rapidly, took a step back. The wheelchair rolled away with a rattling sound. Sungwoon, who had barely made it out of the hospital room, pounded his chest with his fist. He felt like vomiting. There was a strange, musty smell coming from Hong Yeonwoo. Everything was just irritating.“Haa…”It took over an hour to wash up. His whole body felt drained, and drowsiness washed over him. It had been quite some time since he regained consciousness, but there was no telling when his broken body would recover. Sungwoon sighed in frustration as he opened the hospital room door. He had expected Yeonwoo to be gone, but there he was, dozing off while sitting on the floor with his back against the wall. The room wasn’t that warm, yet he had taken off his padded jacket.“Damn it…”Sungwoon stood still in front of the closed hospital room door, staring at him. His parents hadn’t shown up even once, probably because they hadn’t woken up yet. He needed to get better to take care of them, but every time he looked in the mirror, his broken appearance made him sigh. His aunt hadn’t shown up since that day. The texts she sent every day were becoming less frequent. Even his family was like this, yet someone he didn’t even remember stayed in the hospital room from ten in the morning to eight in the evening every day just because they were supposedly friends. It was absurd and laughable.The sunset was visible through the window. It was already evening. Every day, all he did was walk, eat, sleep, and wash. He couldn’t even remember the last time he went outside the hospital. Sungwoon sat in his wheelchair, staring blankly out the window. The yellow sunset light fell on Yeonwoo’s face, who was sitting just below the window. His eyes were swollen, as if he had cried a lot. Sungwoon, who had been staring at Yeonwoo’s face with a blank expression for a long time, closed his eyes tightly as if he were tired.⟡˖ ࣪Something like corn stalks tangled around his fingers. It felt like sticky honey was smeared on the stiff threads.“Mom… hair…”It was his mother’s hair. Hair soaked with blood that was gushing out. Sungwoon, who had stopped breathing, opened his eyes wide. There was nothing visible in the dark. Mom, Dad. Dad, Mom. No matter how much he cried out, the only thing that intensified was the stinging smell of oil. There was no response, no one coming.“Ugh…”It was a nightmare every day. Whenever he woke up from a dream, his whole body was drenched in cold sweat, and he had to wash up. Sungwoon, gasping for breath, opened his eyes to the soft touch on his face.“Are you okay?”“Haa…”“Go wash up.”“……”Yeonwoo, who stayed by his side every day, knew Sungwoon’s routine inside out. Yeonwoo, who had been wiping Sungwoon’s face with a towel soaked in lukewarm water, quickly hid the towel behind his back. Sungwoon had recovered enough to get into the wheelchair by himself. He grabbed the armrest and sat in the wheelchair, leaving the hospital room. Sweat trickled down from his back to his thighs, making him feel sticky, but his face looked fresh as if he had just washed it.“Want to play bingo?”“…Won’t you leave?”“…It’s not eight o’clock yet.”“Who says…”“Does it need anyone’s permission?”Yeonwoo, who seemed to anticipate what Sungwoon would say, interrupted him and continued drawing lines on a large sketchbook, pretending not to notice the sharp glare from beside him. Sungwoon scoffed in disbelief.“Do you know how to play bingo?”“You play it.”Speaking had become much easier. Although he couldn’t speak as effortlessly as before, he could now string together sentences with only minor pauses. Sungwoon decided to be satisfied with the progress he was making.“Then, do you want to draw?”“Shut up. Just leave.”“I’ll be quiet.”“Huh…”Sungwoon, at a loss for words, furrowed his brows and glared at Yeonwoo. Yeonwoo sniffled and shamelessly continued drawing something in the sketchbook. Even though he flinched at every grimace on Sungwoon’s face, he never moved more than a certain distance away. Sungwoon couldn’t understand why Yeonwoo clung to him like a leech.“Let’s do nine squares.”“……”“How about animals as the theme?”Yeonwoo drew nine squares in a 3×3 grid on the sketchbook and tore out a sheet to hand to Sungwoon. Then he placed a black pen between Sungwoon’s fingers. Sungwoon’s eyes trembled with frustration. It was all so arbitrary.“Just leave…”“Let’s play one round.”“Don’t you have any friends… damn it.”“No. I don’t. You’re my only friend.”Sungwoon wanted to curse, but his throat hurt too much to continue, so he just glared sideways at Yeonwoo.“Don’t you know how to play bingo?”“Leave…”Sungwoon crumpled the paper in front of him. Yeonwoo’s expression briefly hardened but quickly softened. He took the crumpled paper and smoothed it out with his palm. The creases remained, but it looked somewhat presentable.“Let’s play one round. The theme is animals.”Yeonwoo was just as stubborn. Sungwoon wasn’t in the mood to play bingo. He crumpled the paper that Yeonwoo had smoothed out and threw it on the floor. Yeonwoo’s gaze followed the paper as it rolled to the floor.“Why do you keep crumpling it…”His voice trailed off. He didn’t feel good about it, but he just wanted Yeonwoo to disappear from his sight. He thought that if he acted worse, Yeonwoo wouldn’t come, that if he hurt him more, he wouldn’t come, but it was all a misconception. Yeonwoo showed up at the hospital every single day without fail.“Then let’s do it next time.”This time was no different. Yeonwoo smoothed out the crumpled paper Sungwoon had thrown and put it in his bag. His eyes, which were sniffling as if it was no big deal, were clear. Sungwoon, who had banged his head against the backrest a couple of times, rolled his eyes to look at Yeonwoo.“Hey.”“What?”“Why do you keep coming here?”Sungwoon, leaning against the bed’s backrest, sighed softly. Yeonwoo, who had been staring blankly at him from the stool, quickly lowered his gaze. His tightly closed lips didn’t move, as if he had no intention of answering.“Do you feel sorry for me?”“……”“Is that why? Because you feel sorry for this crippled person?”Sungwoon deliberately put strength into his throat and spoke clearly. Yeonwoo lifted his head, which had been hanging low. This time, Sungwoon’s mouth clamped shut. Yeonwoo’s eyes, which had remained unaffected no matter how much he was hurt, flickered like a candle flame.“No.”“……”“You’re not pitiful at all.”Despite saying he wasn’t pitiful, Yeonwoo’s eyes turned red as if he was about to cry. It was as if his lips were glued shut, and he couldn’t say anything. Sungwoon, with veins standing out on his neck, glared at Yeonwoo fiercely.“Just…”“……”“Because we’re friends.”It was a remarkable sense of loyalty. If he didn’t even remember this friend, it meant he wasn’t someone important to him, but he couldn’t understand why Yeonwoo was clinging to some thread of connection by himself. Sungwoon, feeling tired, lay down on the bed. He waved his hand in the air a couple of times, signaling him to leave.“See you tomorrow.”“Don’t come.”“Good night.”It was already 7:50 PM. Yeonwoo, glancing at the clock on the wall, habitually put on the padded jacket he had hung far away and slung his bag over his shoulder. Sungwoon, blinking slowly, stared at the black star charm attached to the end of his bag. He wasn’t a child, but seeing him carry something like that at the age of twenty, Sungwoon could guess his level.“I’ll turn off the lights before I go.”“Don’t come tomorrow.”“Yeah. See you tomorrow.”Before closing the hospital room door, Yeonwoo’s voice wavered as he said his final goodbye. Sungwoon turned his back to the wall, not wanting to hear it.“Mom…”Wake up, Choi Sungwoon.“Dad…”Just don’t die. It’s okay. Just wake up.“Ah…”Choi Sungwoon. It’s okay. Wake up, please…Bang! His body was thrown forward, and the seatbelt crushed his ribs. The pain was so intense that it took his breath away. Amidst his cries for his parents, someone else’s sobs mixed in. It was a desperate cry searching for him.⟡˖ ࣪“Do you want some grapes?”“You eat them.”“They’re really good.”“I don’t like grapes.”“What?”“I said I don’t like grapes.”Yeonwoo’s eyes widened at Sungwoon’s irritated voice. Sungwoon, not wanting to care, tilted his phone and started a game. It had been quite a while since he had fully regained his voice. The hoarse, cracked sound was gone, and his voice had returned to its previous clarity. The happiest person about it was none other than Yeonwoo. Remembering how Yeonwoo had clapped his hands and sniffled, even though it was Sungwoon who had recovered, made him feel so incredulous that he couldn’t even laugh.“This isn’t just grapes… it’s Shine Muscat.”“Shine Muscat or whatever. I hate all kinds of grapes.”“……”“We must not have been very close.”“……”“Then why do you keep coming and bothering me? I really hate wasting time on worthless things.”“……”“So don’t fill the fridge with useless stuff and take it all back to your house. And don’t come from tomorrow.”“……”Yeonwoo, who had been staring up at Sungwoon with a large grape in his hand, lowered his head. His drooping head looked pitiful. Sungwoon scoffed and pressed the start button on his game. 3, 2, 1. The countdown ended, and the car started with a vroom.“Ah…”The truck, speeding with its headlights flashing, suddenly came to mind. It was the nightmare he had been having all along. His skull tingled, and his hands and feet went numb. Sungwoon dropped his phone, and a groan escaped his lips.“Choi Sungwoon. Are you okay?”“Ugh…”He couldn’t breathe. Sungwoon clawed at his chest. The buttons on his hospital gown were torn off. It felt like water was filling his chest, slowly drowning him. His vision gradually darkened. In a panic, Sungwoon reached out into the air with the hand that had been clawing at his chest. He wanted to grab onto something.“Aaah…!”Sungwoon kept screaming. In the dark, his hand grabbed onto someone’s hair. The nightmare was becoming reality. Sungwoon screamed like a madman. He couldn’t see anything. He felt like he was going to die. His head spun as if he were dreaming.“It’s okay.”“Ugh…”“It’s okay. Choi Sungwoon. It’s okay.”The hair tangled in his hand slowly slipped away. Eventually, he felt soft skin. The darkness at the edges of his vision slowly brightened. Sungwoon, who had been gasping with his head down, slowly raised his gaze.“It’s okay.”Hong Yeonwoo was there. Seeing the left side of his hair sticking up, it seemed it was his hair that had been tangled in Sungwoon’s hand. Sungwoon looked at him with difficulty. Tears that had gathered at the corners of his eyes fell, creating a path down his cheeks.“You’re hurt.”Yeonwoo’s gaze was fixed on Sungwoon’s chest. There was a long, red scratch visible through the torn hospital gown. Realizing that his hand was still holding onto Yeonwoo, Sungwoon pushed him away somewhat forcefully.“I’ll get some medicine.”Yeonwoo’s voice trembled severely. His eyes were also red. Sungwoon, swallowing his gasps, glared at Yeonwoo.“Hey.”Sungwoon called out to Yeonwoo, who was rummaging through the drawer while sitting on the floor. His vision was blurry with tears. Sungwoon widened his eyes as much as he could to keep the tears from falling. The blood vessels in his eyes quickly became visible.“Hey.”“What.”Yeonwoo, who had momentarily stopped moving, resumed searching through the drawer. He seemed to be looking for ointment. Sungwoon’s chest trembled slightly. He gritted his teeth, trying to hold back the sobs that threatened to escape.“Here. Medicine.”“Hey.”“Why do you keep calling me?”Yeonwoo, whose eyes were red, tried to answer nonchalantly. There was green ointment and a bandage in his palm.“……”Yeonwoo’s eyes widened slightly. Sungwoon, gripping Yeonwoo’s pale wrist tightly, glared at him with tear-filled eyes and said,“Cry.”“…What?”“I said, cry.”“……”It was an out-of-the-blue request. Yeonwoo stared down at Sungwoon without blinking, as if lost in thought. Yeonwoo’s dark eyes were deep and intense, as if they could hold the entire universe.“Damn it… just cry.”Sungwoon furrowed his brows. He kept insisting on this strange request to cry, as if he wanted to confirm something. Yeonwoo’s eyelids moved slowly up and down. His reddened eyes looked like they were about to shed tears, but strangely, not a single tear fell.“No.”“……”“Why are you telling me to cry?”“……”“I’m not going to cry.”Yeonwoo, speaking calmly, took Sungwoon’s hand and squeezed ointment onto his fingertip.“Apply it. It’ll scar.”Sungwoon let out a hollow laugh at Yeonwoo’s nonchalant tone and actions, as if he were really his caregiver. His body shook, and the last tear hanging from his eyelid fell.“Hey.”“What.”“You said before that you didn’t feel sorry for me.”“Yeah.”“Do you really not feel sorry for me?”“Yeah.”Yeonwoo, who had put the ointment back in the drawer, nodded as he sat on the stool. Sungwoon, leaning against the backrest, stared at Yeonwoo with empty eyes. Yeonwoo couldn’t meet his gaze and lowered his head.“That’s good.”“What’s good?”“Then let me ask you something.”“Go ahead.”The round stool was hard and uncomfortable, making one’s butt numb after sitting for a long time. Yeonwoo, who sat on it every day without a single complaint, just stayed by Sungwoon’s side. Sungwoon tilted his head to the side, a corner of his mouth lifting slightly.“Are they dead?”Yeonwoo’s pupils widened at the ambiguous question. Sungwoon tapped the armrest with his finger, urging him to answer.“My parents.”The lifted corner of his mouth trembled. Sungwoon clenched his right hand into a fist, digging his nails into his palm. It was a desperate effort to keep from crying.“I’ll be in the grave waiting for your answer.”“……”A tear fell to the floor. It wasn’t Sungwoon’s, so it must have been Yeonwoo’s. Sungwoon forced a smile, holding back his tears. Yeonwoo couldn’t even lift his head and bit the inside of his cheek hard. The taste of blood filled his mouth.“What’s not pitiful? Damn it, it’s so pitiful…”Sungwoon let out a long, hot breath and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. He quickly wiped away the tears before they could fall, leaving no trace. Yeonwoo still sat with his head down, looking like a sinner.“Hey.”“……”“Go home early today. I’m tired.”The clock had just struck six. Yeonwoo, who had been nodding his head with such force that his neck seemed to cave in, finally stood up. Sungwoon kept pressing the back of his hand to his eyes. Yeonwoo, who had suddenly stood up, picked up his bag from the floor. Sungwoon, looking at the black star charm dangling from the end of the bag, reached out to him.“……”“Apply the ointment yourself.”The ointment Yeonwoo had squeezed out earlier was applied to Yeonwoo’s wrist instead of Sungwoon’s chest. Sungwoon, lightly holding Yeonwoo’s wrist, spread the ointment with his fingers. He had been bothered by the nail marks on Yeonwoo’s pale skin, caused by his earlier grip.“Now go.”