MHA: A Cat’s Way

I take in the utterly confused expressions of the assembled heroes with a smile, the way cat facial bones work making it come out as smug. Which I am. It just wasn’t the smile I meant to show.

The silence is disturbed by a small thunk as Mr. Aizawa’s head falls to the table. “Damnit Problem Cat.” His slightly muffled words, revealing that I am in fact a person, act as the catalyst that gets everyone else moving again. It starts off with Nezu, his quiet chuckling causing everyone to shiver, including me. Creepy rat principal.

Of course, he’s not the only one laughing. Though it’s hard to say whether or not Sir Nighteye’s small ‘heh’ counts as a laugh. At the very least it shows he's amused…?

Then comes the cries of irritation; people telling me to take the meeting seriously, demanding to know who I am, and my female upperclassman asking if she can pet me.

Eventually though Nezu gets tired of the cacophony, waving his paw to get Mr. Aizawa’s attention and signaling him to do something about it. With a sigh that asks the world why he hasn’t quit yet he reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. Swiping and pressing on it a few times, he places it on the table before bunching up his scarf around his ears and pressing down.

A few seconds later a horrendous screeching echoes from the phone. Most of the assembled heroes flinch as if struck by a physical blow, the grating sound just that bad. Of course, for those with enhanced hearing, it’s much, much worse.

Two screams burst forth, competing with Aizawa’s phone for the loudest sound in the room. Mine is a scream of pain as I curl into a ball with my paws over my ears in a futile attempt at blocking it out. But Mirko…

There’s pain in her scream, but it’s vastly overshadowed by the anger and challenge as she flips forward out of her chair, her leg cutting an arc through the air as she slams her heel atop Aizawa’s phone. To say it’s broken is an understatement. It’s more accurate to say that the phone is obliterated, and her foot doesn’t stop there, instead it continues on through the table until coming to a sudden, jerking stop.

The sudden silence is as deafening as the previous screeching, everyone staring at the rabbit eared heroine. She doesn’t even glance at them, her glare fixed on Aizawa. Though… she should probably fix her position. With one leg through the table and the other bent on top of it… yeah. It’s a good thing Aizawa isn’t a pervert.

As they look into each other’s eyes, one pair filled with challenge and the other with bemusement, I make my move. While everyone else was focused on the two of them I stealthily made my way around the room, my spy cat’s small body making it an easy task. And then, when I’m behind Aizawa’s chair-

I zoom up it, my claws easily digging into the wood, and land on top of his head, my body splayed across it. Then I use them to grab onto my new ride as he starts to react. Tightly.

He lets loose with his own yell as he jumps up, twisting wildly in an effort to shake me free. Of course he can’t move too suddenly or else I’ll end up taking some skin with me if I fly free.

That’s how Gentle Criminal and La Brava find us when they poke their heads around the door, their curiosity finally beating out their caution of the room of heroes who’d be all too happy to arrest them. They see Aizawa’s panicked flailing, Mirko laughing her ass off with her leg still stuck in the table, a few of the other heroes half-standing as if wanting to help, the students with bemused looks-

And Nezu, cackling merrily as he watches the chaos unfold.

`~`

“So, that’s the situation at hand.” Nezu explains after everybody’s calmed down, though there are a few with unhappy looks on their faces. Aizawa, for one, who’s glaring at me with a look that promises a mountain of extra homework as punishment. There’s also Rock Lock, who hasn’t stopped glaring at Gentle Criminal since he was introduced as someone who’d be helping for the raid and Nezu stressed that they aren’t allowed to arrest him.

They’ve glossed over La Brava’s presence for the most part, other than some curious glances and my upperclassman once again asking for permission to pet. I can tell that she’s the type to love cute things, a kindred spirit and possibly someone that could be recruited into the Cult of Nya. The vigilante aspect, since her presence could ‘legitimize’ our operations. Though it would be best to have her be involved with the charity aspects as well, a hero publicly supporting the Cult would do wonders.

Anyways, by this point everyone has been briefed on what to expect, the capabilities of the yakuza’s top members, and the small amount of the base’s layout that I got from my spy cat.

“Remember,” Nighteye reiterates, “stick to the plan and everything should go well. You have your targets and you know the objective.”

They nod, though Rock Lock interjects. “I still don’t get why we’re having a villain joining the raid. Seriously, can you actually explain that!”

“He’s providing assistance for this assignment in an effort to foster goodwill and trust with a certain organization.” Nezu says, clearly not looking at me. “We hope that this organization will become a valued ally of hero society.”

As long as All Might dies, then I have no problem with that. Of course hero society itself needs to be cleaned up as well, or else we’d end up with more people like Stain who kill good and bad heroes alike because they see no difference between them. Though he has gotten better at targeting only the villainous heroes recently. I wonder who he’s targeting now? I haven't kept up with his movements ever since the entrance exam.

“Anything to add, Miss Catia?”

I blink, the meeting apparently having reached its conclusion. And seeing Nighteye looking at me, it seems that it’s time for me to explain my part in this. I clear my throat, drawing the few eyes that weren’t on me. I open my mouth-

“I’ll be providing reinforcements in the form of  fifteen battle cats equally distributed between brawlers, mages, and defenders. Brawlers are close range, mages are far range, and defenders -as the name says- defend.”

I level a serious look at everyone, even as Aizawa stares at me with his mouth hanging open. “We don’t know how far along in their products they are, so you should treat each bullet as if it could erase your quirk. My cats will be unaffected, so let them soak up the damage while you hit back as quickly as possible. There’s only so much damage they can take before they disperse., after all”

I tilt my head, my tail flickering behind me. “Any questions?”

“Yeah,” Aizawa says, his eyes narrowing. “Since when can YOU SPEAK LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!?”

I sniff dismissively at his shout even as Mirko glares at him, pointedly looking at the hole in the table from the last time he was responsible for the shouting. “I always talk normal.” At his deadpan look I roll my eyes. “But if you must know, me making cat puns is a biological tick, like how Tsu usually ends her sentence with ‘kero’.”

I wave a paw down my chest, showcasing that I am clearly not in my usual body. “So as long as I’m inhabiting one of my cats, I don’t subconsciously meow any puns.” He points at me as if to say I just made one, and I smirk back. “That one, was intentional.”

His glare does wonders to keep anyone from asking the questions I know they want to ask, my upperclassman practically vibrating as she beams at me. I finish my part while everyone’s still stunned silent.

“We also have someone disguised as one of the Yakuza, so keep that in mind. Though you’ll really only have to worry when you’re in the same area as Eri, since the person they’re impurrsonating is watching over her. They also won’t make a move unless they’re absolutely sure that it won’t compromise getting Eri out.”

“So how are we supposed to know who we aren’t supposed to fight?” Fat Gum asks around a mouth full of chocolate.

I shrug. “You don’t. Even I don’t know who they’ll look like. It’s basically a warning for you all not to accidentally kill anyone.” I flash one of my canines. “Or you won’t like what happens.”

In the sudden silence I make my escape, forcing the spy cat I’ve been inhabiting to dissipate. And since it was done willingly instead of abruptly, I can choose whether or not I wake up or not! I was already comfortable when I laid down though, so I think that I’ll…just…sleep…