Memorize

After the meeting ended, I immediately checked on An Sol under An Hyun's guidance. Seeing her fast asleep on a single blanket, breathing softly, made me feel sympathy. I placed my hand on her forehead to check her condition and, as expected, her magical energy was in disarray. Although it wasn't beyond repair and would naturally return to its original state after some time, I decided to help.

"It's probably better if someone stays with An Sol to watch over her during the night."

"I'll do it." An Hyun immediately volunteered.

I shook my head at An Hyun's predictable response. Glancing out the window, I noticed that darkness had already fallen completely outside. An Hyun's eyes had been showing signs of fatigue for a while now. Everyone had expended considerable mental energy throughout the day. He seemed to be holding on by sheer willpower, but it would be problematic if it affected tomorrow's plans.

"You look exhausted. Go outside and get some sleep. I'll watch over her."

"What about you? Aren't you going to sleep?"

"Later. For now, let the girls get a good night's rest, and we'll take turns keeping an eye on An Sol. I'll wake you when it's time to switch."

"Ah, taking turns—yeah, that makes sense. Then, I'll leave my sister in your care."

I answered with a nod instead of words. An Hyun stumbled out, closing the door behind him. Although I still had more questions, seeing An Hyun barely holding back his need for sleep made me think it would be better to ask when we both had more free time. Besides, my mind was already cluttered with thoughts about the trap points and the party's behavior, so I figured I could use this time to sort things out. But first, I had something to take care of.

Once I confirmed the door was securely closed, I calmly gathered my magic power. Like ripples forming on a calm water surface, a faint reddish glow began to flicker in my right hand. Slowly, I extended my hand, placing it just over the center of her chest, and then projected my magic power inward. Since I was healing her anyway, a little extra service wouldn't hurt.

Fixing circuits that are severely reversed or tangled along one's energy flow can be quite troublesome. However, calming down an overdriven flow of magic and untangling the mess was a simple task for me. As the Hwajung energy flowed from me, I noticed An Sol's body flinch slightly.

Magic attributes vary depending on a person's nature. The attribute I sensed in her magic was pure and carried a bright white light. At first, her magic fidgeted in uncertainty, unsure of how to handle the overwhelming force I was pouring in. But I gently and sweetly wrapped around her magic, making sure not to startle it. 'It's okay. It's okay. I'm here to help. Be good and stay still.' As I continued to soothe her magic with a comforting tone, it finally realized I was there to help, and soon, her magic eagerly began to gather toward mine.

I carefully guided my magic, ensuring she wouldn't be startled, and cradled her energy gently. Watching her magic nuzzle against mine, almost as if asking to be petted, I couldn't help but find it endearing. As I scanned her entire body, I calmed the areas that were startled and untangled the ones that were knotted. By the time the process was nearly complete, a soft blush had spread across her face, and she looked peaceful. Was she dreaming of something happy?

There was one thing that caught my attention. As I tried to withdraw my magic after scanning her entire body, her energy clung to me. When I attempted to pull my hand away, her inner magic seemed to be tugging, almost pleading for more care, reluctant to let me go. I had to gently break free from its grasp before I could finally catch my breath.

It felt like about an hour had passed since I started. What I had planned to finish quickly took longer because I had been thorough, even boosting her vitality in the process. There were no signs of movement outside the room—everyone else seemed to be deeply asleep. After stretching my arms with a big yawn, I plopped down into my seat. Since there was nothing else to do, I figured I might as well get a bit of rest myself.

'

I wasn't sure how much time had passed when I sensed someone opening the door, stirring me from my light sleep. The room was now enveloped in pitch-black darkness. As I turned my head, a sturdy figure peeked through the doorway, locking eyes with me. It wasn't Lee Yun-Jung, with her short hair, nor Kim Han-Byeol, who had long hair down to her shoulders. That left only An Hyun.

"You must be tired from today. You can sleep more if you want." I greeted him in a calm voice. 

For a moment, he didn't respond. He just stared at me quietly. A minute of silence passed before An Hyun finally spoke, his voice soft and hesitant.

"No, I couldn't really sleep. I'm too worried… How's Sol doing?"

"She's much better. She should be able to get up by tomorrow. Don't worry too much."

"Really? That's a relief. But… uh, hyung, about…." 

It was unusual for An Hyun to hesitate like this. I could sense him wavering. But instead of rushing him, I waited patiently, feeling that it was the right thing to do at this moment. After a brief pause, he continued.

"Hyung, there's something I want to talk about… but this isn't the right place."

"Of course. Should we go to the rooftop?"

"Yeah," He replied.

With that, we agreed to head up to the rooftop for a private conversation.

It was clear that An Hyun hadn't gotten much sleep either. He probably had a lot on his mind, not just about An Sol but other matters as well. Reading the sincerity in his voice, I got up right away.

In the living room, Lee Yun-Jung was fast asleep, tightly hugging her blanket. Kim Han-Byeol was nowhere to be seen, likely resting in another room. To avoid waking them, I carefully unlocked the door and quietly headed to the rooftop with An Hyun.

The cold night air hit us as soon as we stepped outside, and the fresh breeze seemed to clear my head. We stood in silence for a while, gazing at the pitch-black city before us. It was An Hyun who broke the silence first.

"Hyung, this city is so quiet."

"Yeah, it's eerily quiet. But we can't let our guard down." I replied.

An Hyun's expression grew somber, and a bitter smile crept onto his face. I could guess the thoughts running through his mind, but for now, I held back, waiting for him to open up when he was ready.

"When I look at you, hyung, I really think you're incredible."

"What do you mean? We're all just people, there's nothing special about me."

"No, that's not what I mean," An Hyun said, shaking his head vigorously, rejecting my words three times in a row. His face was filled with turmoil, and I could sense a deep sense of helplessness. I understood his feelings, but since I didn't have the full picture yet, I stayed quiet, waiting for him to continue.

"After you left today, I had a lot on my mind. When you're with us, I feel like we all work together so well. You might not feel the same way, but I really believed that the five of us could escape this place if we stuck together."

"I feel the same way." I said, reassuring him.

"Yeah, but that wasn't the case. You asked me to take care of the others, but I couldn't lead them. We got caught up in strange things, we fell apart, and Sol ended up in danger. And you noticed, right? You saw how Yun-Jung and Han-Byeol were acting today. They fought over whether we should go save you or not."

An Hyun's expression grew more painful as he spoke, but he didn't stop.

"What really got to me was… I couldn't do anything. I didn't stop them. I didn't even try to stop the argument. All I could manage was a weak, 'I'll go.' I just went along with it, like I had no choice. My chest felt so tight, like I couldn't breathe."

"…"

"If you weren't here, I'd probably still be having these same thoughts. Wondering about tomorrow. Wondering if I can handle it. I even started thinking it would be easier to just die, to stop feeling this pressure."

"Hyun," I said, his name filled with concern as I saw the weight of his self-doubt and frustration.

An Hyun was growing more emotional, and though I tried to interject, he shook his head again, signaling he still had more to say.

"But then you showed up, hyung. It was like a miracle. Do you know what I felt the moment I saw you? Gratitude? No. Guilt? No. It was relief. The kind of relief that comes from thinking, 'If it's hyung, he'll figure it out. If it's hyung, I can trust him.' And it's true, isn't it? As soon as you arrived, the mood got better, Sol's condition improved. You're always calm and composed, like nothing shakes you. It feels like you're different from us. I don't know what it is, but there's something different about you."

His last words made my heart skip for a moment, but I kept my face composed. An Hyun, his head now lowered in defeat, seemed to have finally finished what he wanted to say. I spoke up softly.

"Can I say something now? It won't take long."

"It's okay if it's long. I'll listen," He replied, his voice sounding lighter. I smiled at him and slowly stepped forward, placing my hand on his head. Surprised, he looked up at me.

"It's okay to feel like you need to lean on someone. It's okay to feel the weight of responsibility. Actually, I think that's a good thing."

"A good thing?" He asked, confused.

"Think about how we've been handling things since we entered the forest. You haven't been acting like a dictator or trying to do everything by yourself like some troublemaker. You didn't oppress anyone either. When I gave a general direction, Yun-Jung and Han-Byeol fine-tuned it with their input. Then you and I took those ideas and chose the best course of action together."

"…"

"We're all supporting you, Hyun. It's natural to feel pressure, but you don't have to carry it all alone. Even if something goes wrong, it's not just your burden—it's all of ours. We share that responsibility."

"But…" He started to protest.

An Hyun opened his mouth to speak again, but I raised my hand, signaling for him to stop. He understood and closed his mouth once more, waiting for me to continue.

"You might see me as someone impressive, but I think you're just as incredible. You brought your younger sister, who's easily scared, all the way here, and you always take action quickly and decisively. Just like An Sol relies on you, it's natural for you to want to lean on me sometimes. And it's not just me—Yun-Jung and Han-Byeol also rely on you and An Sol in their own ways. We're five people trying to escape this place together. That's what you said to me first. But the next thing you said was contradictory. Relying on each other isn't wrong, is it?"

I had intended to keep it brief, but as I spoke, the words flowed longer than I had planned. Still, I couldn't stop here, so I pressed on with my final point.

"The weight you feel, that burden you carry—we'll help you shoulder it. So, you only need to do what you can. That's enough."

"Do what I can…?" An Hyun echoed.

"Yeah, just what you can. You don't have to worry about the rest. We'll be there to help you with everything else."

As he processed my words, we stood in the night breeze. There was something almost ticklish about the way the wind softly brushed past us tonight. After what felt like the time it would take to sip a cup of tea, An Hyun finally lifted his head. His eyes, which had been filled with uncertainty when we came up to the rooftop, now looked steady, much like when I first met him. His expression showed a sense of relief, as if a part of his inner struggle had been eased.

It was a small but noticeable shift, a sign that he had let go of some of the weight he had been carrying.

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