Marvel: I Have A Super USB Drive

"Was that Aunt May? How's she doing?" Joe asked as Peter returned from a call.

Peter was dressed in civilian clothes. His Spider-Man suit was probably roughly stuffed inside his school bag.

"Wait—how did you know it was her?" Peter momentarily arched his eyebrows in confusion before he recalled what sort of beast Joe was.

'Damn, how can I forget he's got the full superhero package,' Peter lamented inside his mind.

"Anyway, she's doing good. Though she's a little more stubborn than I'd wish for..." he softly chuckled.

"I'm glad she's fine. Last time, I didn't get to eat her dinner when bad luck struck the poor me," Joe smiled, a reminiscent glint shining in his eyes.

"Yeah, it was a bad day for everyone at Times Square. But that's behind us right now. You have become powerful enough to punch everything into submission," Peter sighed.

"We can schedule another dinner, you know after we are done dealing with Fisk. Aunt May will certainly be happy to see you."

Joe lifted his thumb and winked. "I'll be more than happy to catch up for old time's sake."

Joe then rubbed his chin with a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Do you know I'm single, Pete? Am I qualified to be your stepdad?" Joe teased, a sly grin playing on his face. "I hit all the daddy points, right? The last thing I need is your approval."

'Is he serious?' Peter thought, his face scrunching in disbelief.

Peter slowly shook his head, rendered speechless by the person he saw as a brother.

"You better kill me if you were to become my stepdad, sucker." His voice cracked slightly, betraying his embarrassment, amusement, and frustration.

He lowered his gaze, shaking his head in disbelief. 'God, I can't believe we're even talking about this. Why does he always do this?'

Joe, clearly enjoying Peter's discomfort, erupted into laughter. It made Peter's face flush hotter.

In his previous life, he had read numerous Marvel fanfictions with protagonists drooling over Aunt May. In such a situation, Peter Parker is always made pathetic while the main character becomes the 'rizzler' that bags the aunt in a single chapter. And what do we get next? One-sided selfish lemons that the self-insert with a golden dong gets to enjoy the most. That was a Konrad template, by the way.

Well, as for him, he wasn't that different or special in that regard. His good looks were all genetic.

He didn't need a cosmic roulette to get the standard Gojo template. He won the lottery in another way.

If he wanted to, he could easily embody one of those thirsty harem protagonists. He had the looks, the power, the wealth, the charisma, and enough redeeming qualities to balance out his flaws. So, why not? The answer was simple—he had changed. The old him would've been a Universe-tier Casanova, spreading his seed like a committed Viltrumite. (Author's note: Enough with the glazing, Joe.)

"I'm leaving. I'll swing by at around seven," Peter finally announced as he fiddled with the strap of his bag.

"No problem. Greet Aunt May for me, okay?" Joe waved his hand.

Peter nodded at him before looking at the secret overhead window.

"For Pete's sake, Parker. A door exists for a reason. People use the door to go in and out." Joe released a helpless sigh, dramatically gesturing toward the door. It felt like he was addressing a rambunctious kid who liked doing things unconventionally.

Peter ignored Joe's naming twist with a heavy shrug, his right hand outstretched. He was ready to web himself up.

It was a habit that he couldn't easily erase.

"Windows are cool, Joe. Spider-Man needs that cool exit. Bye Bye," Peter chuckled before swiftly levitating. A second later, he disappeared through the roof.

"Acting cool, eh? It's going to cost you big time, Spidey. But... I also like to play it cool." Joe clicked his tongue, his voice taking a humorous edge.

"Now what?" He aimlessly looked around the lab before walking to his office.

Humming a random original tune, Joe took a seat behind his desk. He calmly put his hand into his pants pocket and removed a USB Drive. It had a vibrant grey metallic surface that reflected the existing light inside the room. From an outside perspective, it looked just like a normal USB.

'How many months has it been since I used the Dimension Key? It's been a while. That's the problem with constantly being in creative mode. I find many things to learn with each passing moment that I forget the 'cheat' that shaped the person I am today.'

'It all started with NZT.' Joe went down the memory lane a bit, a nostalgic look on his face.

'It's all cause and effect, huh? All was calculated through my efforts. If I hadn't put in the work and the accompanying risks, I would have remained mediocre.' He skillfully rotated the USB from finger to finger without messing with the tempo.

His lips curled. 'I guess it was all worth the risk. I couldn't have wished for anything better than you. Now's your time to shine again.'

Joe inserted the USB into the computer. Instantly, the USB icon notification appeared on the monitor.

He aimlessly scrolled through the movies, finding that the pricing hadn't changed. It would have been annoying if the price had increased from a hundred bucks to a million. Money was not a huge problem for him currently, but he didn't like cosmic jokes made by bored transmigration big shots.

'Hmm, Resident Evil… While I don't plan on using it now, the thought of engineering an apocalyptic zombie outbreak, only to later emerge as the savior with the cure, is tempting. But let's be honest—that would be a reckless move, and I'm unwilling to face the unpredictable consequences such chaos would bring.'

'I don't want Prometheus International to be another Umbrella Corporation.' Joe thought, analyzing the pros and cons of recklessness and outright evil.'

He couldn't harm innocent people for his entertainment and greed for billions of profit.

Karma existed to balance the scales between good and evil, but everyone knew most main characters were whitelisted in the Book of Karma. Joe understood that every action had consequences, yet he wasn't prepared for those he couldn't foresee or control.

'The Boys. This is promising. Can I make my own hero agency? It will be expensive unless I work on a better V. However, it's a pity I can't control the probability of what power manifests in the selected individuals. Temp V has better odds, but it's still dangerous. I'm thankful I didn't try Temp V in the first instance. I don't think even the med bay can save me from a V'ed-up tumor. Cate's tactile hypnosis is a feast to the eyes though.'

The pointer finally landed on the Men In Black movie. A wicked Cheshire grin stretched Joe's lips.

'Hehe boi.' Joe rubbed his hands together.

'M.I.B., it seems you are the chosen one. There's something I need from there for tonight's not-so-covert operation.'

What was he going to pull?

***