Madness of Regret

Would you look at that? A wave from a tail slap and I am few tens of meter further away. Now I just need a few more tail slap waves to push me far away that I am not an casualty to any of their harmless pranks. 

Yes, one more wave. One at a time. I need to be far away from you. 

Do whales communicate by tail slaps and geyser? Cause I am seeing a lot of it. A lot lot. The adult whales are at the center tail slapping the bitch out of the surface creating waves after waves. While the smaller whales are in some kind of outer perimeter made by circling and blowing geysers of water. 

Good part. The wave created are pushing me away from the whales encirclement. 

Bad part. I lost the komodo dinosaur carcass. 

Now my raft is going with the waves away from the pod of whales. Which is nice and safe for my health. Now hopefully let's enjoy the pod of whales with whatever they are doing before the waves take me god knows where.

Its quite bad that I couldn't hear the whales shout cause my ears busted. Not that I would like 180 db in my ear. But still my ears getting busted, I would love if I could hear them in their natural habitat cause I am pretty sure modern whales don't do whatever this two pods are doing.

The waters always seem to have a surprise waiting to unbox. So the adults are talking maybe in the middle of the waters while the lesser adults; teens are patrolling the perimeter and the kids should be inside the perimeter I think. 

Still I gotta be thankful for that one kid whale that gave me a lift to my raft. Whether it was unintentional or intentional, doesn't matter. I got to the raft safely. 

After several thrashing down the water with a tail slap and the geyser. The pods stopped all the activities. At least that's what I could see from so far away. Maybe they have communicated and are gonna go their separate ways. Who knows/ I will let them do their thing.

I have other priorities. My ear for now. The blood is already dry and only wet cause of the seawater. So internal bleeding, some rupture in the ear drum? I cant do anything without some medical care. Beside I might have gotten the wound into some salt water and they might turn into an infection. Quite deadly for someone with no healthcare. 

Since I might have lost my hearing because I banged my head on the raft. Chances are high that I have lost all my hearing cause of some inner ear problem or concussions or did the smallest bone in my ear go haywire? 

Concussions seems a bit unlikely cause I would have been dizzy or have fainted. But still there are chances. If it was concussions was it the adrenaline or the pain that kept me awake? 

So some inner ear problem or something in my brain isn't braining anymore. I bet my high horse on this one. 

So no cure just remedies. Then what are the remedies? 

Something to plug or cover the noise out of my ears till they, hopefully, naturally heal. Other I don't know. Fuck I should have become a doctor and a part time survivalist if I knew I was going to be in the middle of nowhere injured and close to death. 

What can I use to cover my ears to avoid noises? My jeans wont work. My shirt is tied to the crippled hand to avoid infection. I could take the shirt out but how do I cover both my ears from one shirt without some sort of water proof tape without hurting my ears? 

I can't just make some sort of scarf for my ears, right? Aside from the fact it would do nothing, chances are high that a tide or a wave might take the shirt away too. Too risky and I don't have any fucking idea. 

I have no other choice but to leave the ears open. Not the best choice but the only good option, I have, I think. Anyway lets check my crippled hand. I slowly untied the knot in my right hand. 

Sheesh! I tied a strong knot. Surprising that I was able to tie it that tight with just a hand. Does it even get enough blood circulation? 

Few minutes later of untying experience with a semi functional left hand and teeth.

I untied the knot and boy did the severed part of my finger looked bad. The ring finger wasn't that bad. It still had around 1/8 of a finger I think. I could see the white bone and surprisingly the red flesh just a bit clotted. The pinky was gone. All I could see was blood clots. It healed faster than expected especially considering the situation.

Feeling my jeans pocket, I could feel my two trophies of war. My fingers. I took them out and placed them in my finger position. Was it for humor, memory, desire? I don't know. 

Was it a good choice? Fuck no. 

My ring finger was decomposing and had some bone shards in the severed bottom which poked a hole in the blood clot making me bleed even more. 

The ring finger didn't poke a hole. But it did leave some black spot or something on the blood clot of the wound. Which I mindlessly tried to take off leading to another rupture in the wound. 

Idiot me.

Now I gotta do a band aid for the wound again. At least, I didn't bleed a lot just few tens of drop before It stopped. Maybe because I lifted my hand up resulting in less blood supply.

I shouldn't use a wet cloth to bandage the wound. Its not bleeding for now but it doesn't have the blood clot. So its more better to use a dry cloth after it clots.

And I lay my T-shirt on the raft to dry in the unquenchable sun.

Should take a hour or two before I can band aid the wound. I think.

And I should keep my fingers with me. My first trophy and a part to me crippled hand. Keep it nice and tight in my jeans.

Don't want it to be wet and stinky. 

Stinky. My feet must be smelling horrible. Absolutely horrible. I haven't even taken my shoes of in two or three days or more or less. Time is confusing when in the waters. 

And so I did. My shoes were wet, cold and stinked to the high heavens. No wonder the seagulls stayed away from my feet. Speaking of seagull, they left me to chill on the whale backs, I think. My feet. I never had seen my feet so wrinkly in my entire life. My nails looked extremely white. Please don't tell me my nails are gonna fall off If I pull them. 

And I tried to pull them. Idiot. Luckily they didn't fall off. They were just soft and possibly could fall off if I left them wet for few more days. 

Yea I need to dry them and get them back to normal.

First a careful cleaning. I dipped a leg at a time in the ocean and gently massaged carefully. I could see and feel few blisters in each leg. Few on the sole and few near my toes and knee. 

I placed my shoes on the T-shirt corner to make sure it doesn't fly away. I surveyed the sky, the waters, the whale that started to look so small in the distance and my chest wound. 

It stopped bleeding which would have come as a surprise to me if I hadn't healed or more accurately semi healed from other injuries that would require professional healthcare. I really have some kind of healing factor or can't die until I fulfill what was 'prophesied'. Still the bones shard weren't taken out so they should be inside the clotted wound. I have a feeling if I don't take out the shards its gonna stay that way for a long time. 

My lips are dry but no cracking as of now, yet I don't feel any thirst. Neither do I feel hungry. It should be scientifically impossible even if I was in another world with a system. My body feels the same as usual and I don't believe that I am being supported by some higher being that wants me to suffer and learn. I am not that lucky nor do I see myself having that much worth. 

So Is it like the last rally before my death? A false sense of warmth before I freeze to death? My body going overdrive? Adrenaline rush? A healing factor?

If it is all that or one of it, my body muscles would have started to loosen not that I had a body full of it. I could feel my hands, legs, anywhere and I could find no difference. They felt the same. But who knows it might take a few more days to find out if any of it is true.

And if I really have a toned down, watered down, chinese version of 'deadpool and friends' healing factor, oo boy I really am waiting to hear from my healed ears. 

So that's all about it. My right hand is still unusable but hopefully my body repairs it enough for use. My chest wound has bone shards inside the wound that is getting clotted. My legs are working just fine and my left hand is perfectly a-okay now. The biggest disability I have right now is my ears not working. Can't do anything about it. Just my luck. No known brain injuries. T-shirt and shoes getting dry in the sun. My feet getting the sun after one or two moons. No food. Lost the komodo carcass when the whales passed through my raft. 

And no seasickness. How? I don't know. I should have been seasick for week before my body adjusts. Adjusts!. Is my body adjusting with all my injuries? My legs weren't working till I popped my femur into the hip joint. After that my body remembered my legs right position and healed accordingly. Hence, I was able to heal faster when my legs was popped right into the hip joints. My body remembered my neck veins position so it healed my neck. 

So, by that logic my right hand should heal fast too since I popped it right back in its place hopefully. 

I can check it in few days. And if I am right, chances are high that I might be able to hear again. 

Now for reasoning, there must be a cost for adjusting. It won't come for free. And if it did, I might be royally fucked. Free things are the most expensive in life. 

Logic says Calorie might be the answer. The sarcastic in me says my soul. 

If it was calorie, I should be drained of my muscles and fat. I have ate only like 2 times in 2 days and both were small meals, if you call them that. I have done a lot of high calorie movement. So logically I should be drained, my stomach should be churning, I should be feeling weak. But no I am just fine and full of energy.

Something that should be technically impossible. So who knows I might be trading my soul, my sanity, my destiny to some shit higher being aizen type guy or who knows the komodo dragon was the most nutritious meat my body could handle. Just like eating a golden core beast meat when being mortal without blasting. 

So if there is no god. And if we remove all the possible, realistic options the impossible option becomes possible. Nah it doesn't sound nice. 

When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. Yeah, Sherlock.

So there might be a Aizen looking at my life waiting to say you thinking all this was part of my plan. You surviving was part of my plan. 

Or The komodo bastard meat was a higher tier nutritious meat that was few stages above my life level. 

Or I might be fueling my healing factor with my soul.

Or I might be desti…

A wave hit me. 

MOTHER FATH…

Another wave hit me.