Chapter 45: Chapter 45: Once Wanted Wild Horses, Now I Have Oxen and Horses (Extra for the Helm Master, See You Again After 1994)
"Does it sound good?"
Lin Wanzhou sat in the backstage makeup room and, having nothing better to do, sang a birthday song.
"It's nice, but Sister Zhou Zhou..." The petite assistant Qi Ting had followed her fellow townsman agent Wen Yun to work after high school, forming a sort of master-apprentice relationship.
She was efficient and decisive, with first-rate driving skills.
"That song is fine to sing privately, but if you sing more than three lines of it publicly, you have to pay copyright fees."
During a joint live broadcast with the second-largest domestic jewelry brand, the host on stage had asked her what song she practiced most often. It was supposed to be a flattering question, and a normal person would say their latest single XXX.
However, Lin Wanzhou suddenly threw out an answer.
"The Birthday Song."
As her words fell, they practically fried the host's CPU on the spot. It took a few seconds to recover before hastily trying to smooth things over.
"I know that, I'm not stupid." Lin Wanzhou's eyes dulled, and she leaned exhaustedly on the soft chair, her profile softened yet cold under the light.
The freckled assistant Qi Ting glanced at her phone; it was already half-past ten. After one more set of brand ambassador solo photos, they could leave.
Perhaps out of curiosity or just to pass the time, Qi Ting turned to Lin Wanzhou.
"Sister Zhou Zhou, do you really like the Birthday Song that much?"
"Not particularly," Lin Wanzhou opened her eyes slightly, her chest rose and fell gently, "I'm just practicing singing."
"Practicing singing?" Qi Ting hadn't expected this answer, and she felt the same confusion the host had during the event.
But no matter how much she racked her brain, she couldn't figure out how singing the Birthday Song could be of any real help to a singer.
"Is it something like a safe haven? To relieve the nervousness before going on stage?" Qi Ting thought of every possibility she could, and cautiously chose the most likely one to probe.
"Why would I get nervous going on stage?" Instead of answering directly, she lowered her gaze and counter-questioned, "Qi Ting, do you have someone you like?"
"Ah?" Qi Ting was slightly taken aback, then scoffed with a bitter smile, "Sister Zhou Zhou, don't try to probe for Sister Yun on her behalf. Work's so busy, who dares to date?"
"Life is hard, but money does not hinder."
"I used to want a wild mustang, now I'm the cattle and horse. My heart sealed with concrete, I won't wear my heart on my sleeve for love anymore, I just want to work hard for money."
"But Sister Yun told me you used to...." Lin Wanzhou's body curled like a serpent, her legs folded comfortably in the chair, her eyes nearly closed in contentment.
"Forget it, I was so busy with work that I didn't realize I'd been cuckolded by that wild mustang for a year. It's really meaningless." Suddenly, Qi Ting regretted making small talk with Lin Wanzhou.
"Ting Ting, be strong," the diva's consolation sounded somewhat perfunctory.
"Strong is nothing, it's just that he cheated on me." Qi Ting sniffled, her eyes turning red, "Later, I found out he wasn't a wild mustang at all."
"In front of other women, he was a little puppy, but with me alone, he was a wild mustang, that son of a bitch... He literally stood up and kicked me away!"
"It's not that I don't want to fall in love, it's just... As soon as I was about to plunge into the river of love, the river god threw me out, saying not to throw trash into the river."
Lin Wanzhou opened her eyes and tore off two pieces of paper from the table to hand to Qi Ting.
"I'm sorry, Ting Ting, I didn't know you..."
"It's okay, Sister Zhou Zhou." Qi Ting wiped her tears, took deep breaths, and gritted her teeth, "Men are no good, the smoother their talk, the less trustworthy they are!"
She had only heard Sister Yun mention before that Qi Ting was somewhat unstable for a while, but hadn't asked about it at the time because of her busy work schedule. She thought Qi Ting was going to resign, never expecting something like this to have happened.
"By the way, Sister Zhou Zhou, do you have someone you like?" Qi Ting's mood had already stabilized, and she spoke with a slightly heavy nasal voice.
She was pulling out her eighth tissue, her eyes lowered, speaking slowly.
"Yes."
"Really? You actually do?" Qi Ting paused in the midst of wiping her nose, nervously asking, "Is it someone from within our circle or from outside, and is he handsome?"
"I liked someone when I was younger, it's been a long time." She answered.
"Childhood sweetheart?" Qi Ting suddenly became interested, looked around to make sure Wen Yun wasn't coming over, "Then... do you still keep in touch with him?"
"Not a childhood sweetheart, our relationship... wasn't close."
"Oh, not close." Qi Ting pondered for two seconds, her eyes fixed on the makeup room's floor tiles for a while; her mind couldn't quite keep up with Lin Wanzhou's pace.
After a pause, she seemed to remember something again but then couldn't recall it a second later.
"So that means you haven't kept in contact?" Qi Ting was confused, "But it makes sense, Sister Zhou Zhou, you're even busier than I am, how could you possibly have time for a relationship."
She didn't finish her sentence, knowing that, typically, if you have liked someone for a long time but haven't been in contact, most likely they have already started a relationship with someone else and gotten married.
"It's okay, Sister Zhou Zhou, not contacting him might be for the best." Qi Ting spoke like someone who had been through it all, "Liking the person from the past doesn't necessarily mean you would like who they are now."
"Distance creates enchantment, if you really got in touch, you might find the fantasy of youth's filter disappearing."
"Hmm."
Seeing that Lin Wanzhou seemed to be taking her words to heart, Qi Ting rattled off a couple of more metaphors for good measure, such as not yearning for the person in those times but for the passion you once had for yourself.
It wasn't until Wen Yun called Qi Ting away on the phone that this girl, two years younger than Lin Wanzhou, reluctantly stopped dispensing her sober life lessons.
Lin Wanzhou knew Qi Ting was called away to prepare the car, as they would soon finish the last set of photos and could head back to the hotel to rest, before flying to Fei Yuan City tomorrow.
The makeup room was silent, leaving only her alone.
She instinctively reached into her bag and pulled out her personal phone. The bright screen was glaring, displaying a familiar old blurry photo as the wallpaper.
The day she transferred schools, she had made an excuse to use her mother's phone to take it.
The five-million-pixel resolution made the image look as though it was covered with a light blue filter, with a dim staircase corner letting through a long beam of sunlight, and a few boys in school uniforms making their way downstairs.
She had captured everyone, but blatantly cropped it to feature only him.
Afterward, Lin Wanzhou never had any form of contact with him again, nor did she ever initiate any inquiries about him. She could only learn through friends' occasional remarks that he was doing well in his studies, and that he had moved to the county town for high school.
After that, there was no more news.
Fate really was unfair—after all, she was the one abandoned by her parents. But when her mother, carrying her cancer diagnosis, found her, Lin Wanzhou realized she simply couldn't muster any hate.
All she could do was follow her mother's wishes, transfer to the best school, and study vocal music. Day after day, she practiced singing, fulfilling the dream her mother never got to live.
Life indeed holds a glimmer of light; she accompanied her mother through the last journey of her life, achieving a dream that didn't belong to her. Yet, she lost what was truly hers, humanity's most tumultuous wind.