Love Me if You Dare: Pristine Darkness

When Jian Yao regained consciousness, she found herself lying on a river bank. The sky was still dark, the rain was still falling, and the sound of the waterfall was behind her. Not much time had passed.

She immediately wanted to sit up, but her entire body was aching in exhaustion, and she could not gather her strength. It was with great difficulty that she gradually levered herself upright.

Then she saw Derrick, opposite her.

He was in a similar situation, lying on the ground next to the waterfall. His entire body was drenched and his eyes held some degree of confusion. However, his body was much stronger than hers, so he was able to jump up in a trice.

Jian Yao dug her fingers into the mud beside her and touched some rocks. Indeed, the heavens had to be helping her, as she unexpectedly grabbed hold of a sharp-tipped stone. She held it in her hand.

Derrick laughed, looked up at the waterfall and said, “Jenny, wasn’t that exciting?”

Jian Yao did not say anything.

He took a step forward and said, “Were you terrified? Did you think I was going to bring you with me to kill myself? How could that be possible? I’m not as cowardly as you say I am.”

Jian Yao said, “You already knew that you wouldn’t die when you plummeted?”

Derrick’s eyes were brimming over with laughter. “This is one of the extreme sports that I am passionate about. How would we get away with it otherwise? Simon King is like a hunting dog, once he’s got us between his teeth, he won’t let go. That won’t be too pleasant.”

Jian Yao looked up. Behind him, the waterfall slowly flowed into a little brook. The brook was broad and stretched in a continuous line around the mountain. And, in the gathering darkness, a small boat was anchored not far away.

Jian Yao’s heart sank. In other words, everything was proceeding according to his plan. He was going to switch boats and escape.

Derrick once again took two steps forward. Jian Yao woke up with a start and took a step back. She retreated until she had reached the edge of the waterfall. At the same time, she raised the stone with its tip as sharp as a dagger’s and said, “Don’t come any closer!”

Derrick stared at her with eyes shining like gleaming water and said, “What are you thinking of doing? Do you think that you can defeat me with a stone? No, even if I gave you a gun right now, you wouldn’t be able to. Or, maybe you’re trying to delay? Haha . . . . Jenny, this time, you will wait in vain for Simon. He would never have expected us to jump off the cliff, because ordinary people would consider it certain death to do so. Do you really think that he would risk this one in a million chance of survival and jump off the cliff? No, he would continue to advance, pursuing us until dawn, whereupon he would discover that not even the slightest glimpse of you can be seen anywhere. And you will board this boat with me and arrive in Myanmar. From then on we will live together for many days and many years. Maybe, one day, before you die, Simon King will find you. Who knows? Maybe it will happen.”

Every single one of his words pierced Jian Yao’s heart. She knew he was only speaking the truth, she also knew what kind of life awaited her if she really boarded on the boat. Her face was expressionless, and the hand holding the stone was still. However, she felt as if there was a hole deep in her heart, and what flowed out was not tears, but blood.

She suddenly remembered the day she had met Bo Jinyan and Fu Ziyu for the first time. Wearing a grey woollen sweater, Fu Ziyu had been all smiles as he affably asked her, “You’re Jian Yao?” And Bo Jinyan had been standing upstairs, dressed in a suit, with a cold and detached expression, secretly watching her through the iron gate.

She laughed abruptly, slowly and calmly. Derrick looked at the smile on her face and his own turned cold.

“You’ve forgotten . . .” Jian Yao said, “I have another option. I would rather die on the same dark road that Bo Jinyan has walked before, and I am unwilling to have a perfunctory existence in some corner of the world with you.”

In a flash, Derrick’s face changed colour. “Don’t ——” He wanted to pounce, but it was too late. The sharp tip of the stone in Jian Yao’s hand was already pressing precisely against her throat.

The pain in her neck stung her, and in that split second, she felt as if the entire world had quietened down, even the flowing torrent of water, even the pouring rain. Derrick’s face, twisted in fury, also stilled before her. She shut her eyes and said in her heart, I’m sorry, Jinyan.

I’m sorry, I can’t be with you anymore.

It was impossible for her to think too deeply on this. She knew the moment she thought about it, pain would engulf her entire system and she might lose the courage to kill herself. She also knew that she could not board that boat, because if she did, she would be like a cicada shedding its shell and vanishing, leaving only an empty shell behind*, and it would be very likely that Bo Jinyan would have great difficulty finding her. For the rest of her life thereafter, even if only half a lifetime, what awaited her was only boundless darkness, just like Han Yumeng at that time. No, she would not let something like that happen. How could she let Bo Jinyan search for a lifetime?

*T/N 金蝉脱壳 (jin chan tuo qiao) – lit. the cicada sheds its carapace; fig. to vanish leaving an empty shell behind, a crafty escape plan.

To leave, is to stay.

Leaving this human world, she would still be able to accompany Bo Jinyan. Just like the little bird accompanying the tree roots, in future, every time he looked up at the sky, he would see her.

Her tears rolled down her face. An immense sorrow gripped her heart.

Jinyan, I love you.

With all my courage and my life. 

. . . .

“Jian Yao —-”

The sound of someone exerting all his strength to call her seemed to come from far away. Everything had happened in the blink of an eye; Jian Yao had fallen into some kind of black dream, but that sound pierced through the thrumming of the rain and the noise of the waterfall, it penetrated everything, and rushed into her ears. So familiar, so grieved, so powerful. Jian Yao was like someone who had just been rudely awoken from a dream. Crying, she opened her eyes. The sharp tip of the stone in her hand was stained with blood.

She turned her head sharply. In the hazy mist of the waterfall there really was an indistinct figure, falling at high speed with a huge swell of water.

At this instant, Jian Yao forgot about everything. She simply looked at the scene unfolding before her, not knowing if it was real or a hallucination, staring blankly, dumbly.

Derrick was similarly shocked. He stared at the falling figure within the waterfall with a darkened face, then drew the gun at his waist.

It seemed like a shaft of white light split open the world before Jian Yao’s eyes in a heartbeat. Her will to die receded instantly, the intense desire to live, to live with Bo Jinyan shuddered through her entire being. The stone in her hand fell to the ground. Like a small leopard, she sprang at Derrick abruptly. He was totally unprepared; the gun in his hand tilted and the bullet shot into the water.

Enraged, Derrick pushed her away with a swift movement and raised his gun to take aim. However, the surface of the water was pitch-black, and there was no way to tell if Bo Jinyan was dead or alive. Derrick narrowed his eyes, focussing all his attention on the pitch-black surface.

It was exceptionally quiet by the waterfall, with no other sound apart from that of the water. However, Jian Yao knew that this was the deciding moment between life and death. Whether Derick killed Bo Jinyan or vice versa would depend on the next shot. She did not dare to act rashly.

Under normal circumstances, how could Bo Jinyan be pitted against this top-rate, violent gangster?

The surroundings were completely dark.

Jian Yao felt a small flame blaze in her heart. The gears in her head were turning at high speed, as if fuelled by intuition and courage. Very clearly enunciating each word, she said, “Luo dage, I knew you would come out in the end.”

Derrick raised his eyebrows sharply. With a sneer, he said, “You, shut up!”

“Derrick!” Jian Yao shouted all of a sudden, in a very light and bizarre voice, “Luo dage is behind you!”

There was a chill in Derrick’s eyes.

It was at this moment that gunshots rang out!

The gunshots were overlapping and were accompanied by the sound of splashing water. Someone raised his head out of the water, gun in hand. Then Jian Yao saw Derrick’s body swaying, as was the body of the person in the water. Terror and grief overwhelmed Jian Yao’s heart all at once. She forgot everything in her stumbling run towards him. She ran to just in front of him, jumped into the water and seized him in a hug. It was only then that she realised he had been shot in the right shoulder; the blood was still flowing, but he simply stood there without moving. She burst into tears and yelled, “Jinyan! Jinyan!”

To her surprise, Bo Jinyan laughed and let her lean against his chest. He said, “How could you attempt to commit suicide? I saw it through the telescope . . . at that moment I felt like I had gone to hell.”

Jian Yao’s tears fell freely as she held on to him. Together, they turned and looked at Derrick, who had fallen to the ground. Bo Jinyan raised his gun again, took aim, and slowly approached him.

Derrick had been shot and was dying. But, a smile was on his face, and he was holding his gun as he lay on the ground.