Love confession from a coward (GL)

Sensing my gaze, she looked back at me and then, as if confused, asked, "...Um... Emi, you suddenly look very excited about this. I don't understand... What, do you really like her already?"

At that moment, realizing that for some reason I couldn't maintain eye contact with her, I looked away.

Then I just laughed slightly. "Of course you wouldn't understand lol," I said. "The fact that she was so shy seemed really cute. What's not to like about it? I always like it when someone tries to muster up the courage to confess their love despite their fears..."

There was a moment of silence, then it was her turn to laugh. "Pfft..." came her sarcastic voice. "The courage to confess? What, that's all it takes to steal your heart?" she said as if mocking me.

I looked at her sharply, but her face had already turned away and her confused expression was replaced by a calm look. To say I was disappointed would be an understatement.

"Well, I guess a cold-hearted person like you wouldn't understand anyway. Or maybe... you're jealous?" I asked with a smirk, trying to get to her in some way.

"As if," she replied sharply. "Jealous? Don't make me laugh..."

She's so goddamn annoying.

I stared at her for a moment, trying to decide what to say next, but when nothing came to mind, I could only look away, irritated.

Who cares!

"You're as boring as ever, I can't even tease you..." I said frustrated.

"You call that teasing? Your teasing is so damn boring and repetitive," she said.

"Oh, f*ck you," I said.

Ignoring my words as if they didn't really affect her, she asked skeptically in the same annoyingly calm tone, "Huh, are you even sure she was going to confess to you?"

"Huh? What do you mean? Are you saying I'm ugly? Do you think I'm not cute enough to get a love confession? Is it so surprising that someone could have feelings for me?" I asked, turning to her with visible irritation in my eyes.

"What the hell are you talking about?" she asked, turning to me in response. "Where is this coming from?"

"Just admit that you hate me and don't think I'm cute," I said.

"What are you, an idiot? When have I ever said that?" she replied sharply.

"Then what was the stupid question about?" I asked, continuing to look at her with a slightly crooked, wry grin.

"I was just asking. Is that a problem?" she said, glaring at me intently in return.

Our eyes were fixed on each other, boldly, without hesitation or fear... Even looking directly into her eyes, I couldn't decipher her thoughts. What was she thinking? What was she feeling? What did she really want?

"Yes, it is a problem. Just asking, you say? Be honest. You really think I'm ugly, don't you? Just say it to my face, stop being such a coward," I said firmly.

"All I can say is that you're wrong, Emi," she replied firmly.

"Is that so?"

"Yup."

"Then tell me what you really think."

"What do you mean?"

"Will you stop playing dumb?" I said, getting annoyed.

"What do you want from me?" she asked as we continued this staring contest.

"Oh my God, just f*cking tell me what you think of me, is that really so hard?" I asked.

"Stop asking stupid questions, Emi. Besides, you already know I think you're cute," she said.

"Do I really know that? I'm not sure, I can't remember the last time I heard a sincere compliment from you, you know..."

"Since when do you even need compliments from me?" she asked sarcastically.

"Are you completely stupid? We're friends, right? Of course I want to hear compliments from you."

"Do friends compliment each other like that?"

"We've already talked about this! Of course they do! Or what, maybe, you don't actually think I'm cute? Maybe you were just lying? And that's why you don't want to compliment me so much?" I asked.

"What's wrong with you?"

"There's something wrong with you if it's so hard for you to say a simple word!"

"I already said you were cute, moron!"

"That wasn't enough! Your answer sounded completely forced! You probably just lied! Just tell me the truth!"

"Can you please shut up already? For God's sake, I'm not lying, I really think you're cute!"

"Oh, really??"

"Really!"

We fell silent for a moment.

"You f*cking liar! You're just saying that to shut me up, aren't you?" I said.

"Oh my God," she stretched tiredly. "I'm being honest, you stupid head." 

"Well, I don't trust you, liar."

"What's wrong with you? You asked me to compliment you and now you don't believe me?"

"Well, maybe it's because your answer didn't sound sincere at all!"

"Then how the hell am I supposed to say it? I'm trying to be honest, isn't that enough?"

"If you're really trying to be honest, then why don't you tell me what's so cute about me, huh?"

"What?"

"Just as I thought, you can't think of anything."

"I can think of lots of things."

"So? Tell me then? Tell me every little thing you think is cute about me."

"You want me to tell you every little thing? Are you serious?"

"Yes, I am serious."

"Well, all right, then. What do I find cute about you, huh?" she paused, as if gathering her thoughts. "Well... that's easy. First of all it's your smile, I find your smile very cute, and then your face, you're very pretty, and your expressions, they're adorable too, your eyes..., your lips, your hair, your style, your voice, your personality, everything, everything about you is cute... are you happy now?"

"What, my lips? The f*ck? Are you serious?"

"Shut up, b*tch, you literally asked me to give you every detail, so I did."

"Hah.... I know that, stupid."

"Then what else do you want from me, you idiot?"

I didn't answer right away, just kept staring into her eyes. "...So you think all these things about me are cute? How sweet... But what if you don't actually think I'm the cutest?" I asked.

"What the hell? What are you talking about?"

"Oh... well, I bet there's someone you think is cuter than me, right?"

"What does that have to do with this conversation?"

"It has a lot to do with it."

"Well, then, no, there is no one I consider cuter than you," she replied firmly.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"You serious?"

"Never been more serious in my life."

"Huh..."

"..."

"..."

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked.

"...Hmph..." For some strange reason, I couldn't say anything else and turned away.

Not fully understanding what had just happened, I fell silent for a moment.

My gaze fell on Rika, who had been watching us like some kind of TV show.

"Ahem... Sorry, Rika," Hana apologized, apparently also noticing Rika's gaze.

"Oh no, don't worry about it. I'm used to it by now, lol," Rika replied, with a laugh.

"Nah. We're really sorry," I said. "It must be annoying sometimes, right? I mean, you wanted to talk about romance and we just kept fighting. It's all Hana's fault that we keep talking about these useless things."

"Shut up, don't blame me, it's your fault, you weirdo," Hana immediately retorted. "But Rika, I understand that it can be annoying. We're kind of annoying friends, aren't we?"

"No, no!" Rika replied, waving her hands in front of her. "Not at all, I'm even glad that I became your friend, it's really entertaining to watch your banter, hahaha."

"Entertaining, huh?" I muttered. "I guess you're right lol."

"Hahahaha, but to be honest... that's why I like you guys, you know? I don't really understand some things about you, and you don't really understand some things about me, but you're both nice to me anyway. Some people actually don't like that side of me - the fact that I'm constantly asking everything about their love life, which is understandable, but, ugh... what I'm trying to say is that I know I can be annoying sometimes too."

"No... it's okay, Rika. We don't find your questions annoying, right, Emi?" Hana asked.

"Of course!" I replied. "Your questions don't bother me at all."

"Really?!" Rika asked.

"Of course," Hana said.

"Well, that's a relief...," Rika replied. "I'm just always curious how other people feel... or what they think about romance, you know?"

"Personally, I don't find it weird..." I said.

In fact, I found it quite helpful.

"Me neither..." Hana agreed. "We can even prove it to you... You wanted to ask something else, right?"

"Uh... yes, there is something I am curious about..." Rika looked at me curiously, but somewhat hesitantly.

"What is it?" I asked, returning her gaze.

"...Well... like... this person who wanted to confess to you is a girl, right? Does that mean you like girls?" she asked.

"Pfft..." I immediately laughed at her unexpected question.

Of course that's what's going on in her little head. A sea of questions she'll ask as soon as she gets the chance. It was hard to stop Rika when it came to romance. At times like this, she often jumped from one topic to another. We were used to it by now, so we always went along with her pace.

Oh, Rika, Rika. It's like she... well, she's just so funny, all her thoughts are about that girl now. It's amazing that all she thinks about is love stories and gossip, and yet... Well... Anyway, it doesn't matter, it's just so funny...

I think that's why Rika got along so well with us. To an outsider, her questions might have seemed out of place, random, or unexpected, but to us, they were something we quickly got used to. Not only was she not bothered by our banter, but she fit in perfectly with Hana and me, sensing the silence between us and quickly changing the subject when necessary without asking too many questions or thinking we were crazy.

"Hmm... I don't know yet," I chuckled slightly. "That's why I was really disappointed that she ran away from me without confessing. I didn't have time to be sure of my feelings..."

"...But you said she was cute and pretty, right?" Rika asked.

"Yeah, she was kinda cute," I replied. "Why?"

"Doesn't that mean you like her already?" she asked.

Her conclusion was logical... hmmm, what should I say?

"I mean... I can find a person cute without liking them in that way, right?" I paused, thinking for a moment. "Although... hmmm... you might be right... I might actually like her."

Hearing my serious voice, Hana looked at me in surprise. "Wait... I thought you were joking as usual. Do you actually like girls?"

I lowered my eyelids slightly and grinned, gazing thoughtfully ahead. "Hahah, well... Like I said, I can't say for sure right now... who knows?" I replied with a mysterious smile.

I saw Rika looking at me questioningly, as if she expected a more direct answer from me.

Hana, on the other hand, took my tone as if I was being sarcastic. "Well... For a moment I thought you were serious, but you're probably just messing with me again," she said, turning back to her juice.

That's it, huh? I thought. Well, I guess I deserve not to be taken seriously by her, since I often joke around when it comes to romance.

I don't know why I do that…

Still, I was a little disappointed to see the complete lack of reaction on her face.

"So... like, have you dated girls before?" Rika asked.

Yep, she's totally in interrogation mode.

"No, I've only dated guys," I replied.

"Oh... guys... hmmm," Rika murmured, thinking for a moment. "How many?" she asked, as if feeling like she could get more information out of me.

But before I could answer, Hana beat me to it. "She dated this one guy and he was horrible, but she kept saying what a bad boy he was and how much she liked it."

Ugh... She was technically right, but I didn't like the judgmental tone of her voice. Also, why does she talk like she knows absolutely everything about me?

"Well... yeah, I dated him, and I agree that he was kind of a jerk, but in my defense, he was handsome, okay? Besides, we didn't even kiss," I said. "And also, don't forget, I was the one who dumped him, okay?"

"What an achievement," she said with a sarcastic grin. "It took you long enough."

Now she was back in her sarcastic mode.

Once again I felt like I had somehow lost to her... She's like a stupid puzzle I can't solve. Sometimes I think I understand her and sometimes she baffles me.

What's wrong with her?