Lost in the Blue Mountains

It was raining in the early morning Rayni left the Eastern Valleys for Valkore, her new home she would share with Rexander. Rayni did not wish anyone goodbye nor did anyone come to bid her goodbye either. When she passed the castle gates not a single tear was shed. How could she? She did not feel an ounce of sadness, there was just the same cold acceptance. Rexander found it weird that the beloved daughter of the Duke cared not to leave her only home behind but he mentioned nothing of it, it was not his place to ask. 

It would take 4 days to get to the coastal region of AvaMaria, from where they would take a boat and cross Hunters Ocean to reach the island of Valkore. Since the death of Rexanders father no one had taken care of the island, it was plagued with monsters, scaring away the inhabitants so only a few remained in the rocky terrains where monsters could not reside. Rexander through his many feats had accumulated an extraordinary fortune that he planned to generously use to restore Valkore to the greatness history has told it to have been.

"What will you do when we return?" Rayni asked, her arms crossed as she watched the Eastern Valleys disappear from the view, now hidden behind tall dark trees. 

"Monsters thrive on the lands, I will have to clear them out first," Rayni nodded her head.

"How long will that take?"

"At Least until the month of Friad," He sighed thinking of the long task ahead of him. There really was no rest in his life, he was wrong to have thought there would ever be a break for him. Life was not that kind. 

"Valkore may be in ruins now, but it was once a prosperous island filled with rare herbs and exotic spices. You can make a fortune once you rid the island of monsters,"

"The species of monsters have gone unrecorded for too long, no one really knows what creatures have laid their nests there,"

"You have seen almost every monster to have existed in all these years you've been fighting, it suits you perfectly,"

"It does not make the task any easier,"

"True but at least because it is you, it is possible. Anyone else would raise their hand in surrender at the task, yet you simply sigh," Rexander raised his eyebrows.

"You regard me too highly,"

"Or rather you regard yourself too little, oh Great Slayer of Beasts," Rexander gave her an amused smile and followed her gaze outside.

"Will you miss the Valleys?" He asked.

"I have seen all there is to see, nothing waits for me here anymore,"

"Your face tells another story, you seem like you are trying to memorise the last of your home,"

"The land was kind to me, I always found my way home no matter how far I wandered." Rayni finally turned to face him. "But it is not my home anymore." Why did Rexander feel guilty upon hearing those words? 

"What do you think the morning in Valkore will be like? What are the seasons like?" Rayni thought out loud, not really expecting an answer.

"It's cold for most of the year, and unbearably hot when it is not. The land is rough, rocky and lacks care. Fires are common in Zunis and droughts in Gario. It's a miserable place." Rexander answered her anyway.

"Perfect for a variety of species of all kinds to grow however, what a lovely home we have," Rayni smiled and Rexander was once more confused by the woman in front of him. How odd was she, to be gleeful to hear what any other noble lady would think of as misfortune.

"Perfect weather for monsters to nest too. We have even lovelier neighbours to share our home with."

Rayni smiled fondly, with a new found spark in her eyes. "These two years won't be boring, that's for sure."

—--

"Welcome back," Rayni smiled as she greeted her husband who had just returned from another expedition. Rexander often went on monster raids such as this one, spanning from a few days to whole weeks, and when he was not he was either training or in meetings. At the speed of things it would not be long before the monsters were cleared. Unsurprisingly however, Rexanders' face seemed permanently tired and grim. Rayni could not recall a single day where he had simply rested. He nodded his head at her before leaving to the bathhouse as he always did. 

'What would it be like if you were lovers?' A quiet voice in her mind asked mischievously. 

She'd have run to him excited to see him after so long, he'd be just as enthusiastic and immediately open his arms for her to jump in. Both bright eyed with bright smiles. They'd stay like that, just simply holding each other for a while or maybe they'd share a passionate kiss expressing all the emotions they could not put into words. 

'Wouldn't that be nice?' That same voice taunted Rayni. Her heart grew heavy, what use was it to think of things that would never happen?

"My Lady, the council meeting is starting soon," Eloise, her lady-in-waiting, reminded her. Rayni plastered her normal smile.

It was that pestering voice in her head whispering nonsense to her again. How silly of her, to let herself entertain the idea despite knowing reality would never allow such a thing. 

If she met him first would things be different? If he never fell in love would their marriage be more than politics? And if he looked at her, really looked at her and saw her for who she was then would he be able to love a second time? Rayni could fool the whole world but not herself, the Warlord stopped his search for his heart but he never forgot her. When he looked at Rayni he looked again and again hoping she'd magically morph into the girl he hopelessly fell for. But she was not her. So, when she didn't he would turn his back on her with no hesitance. She had gotten awfully used to staring at his back.

"Let us go." Eloise gave her an odd look. She was the closest to Rayni. Maybe she could tell something was playing in her mistress's mind. Eloise possessed a gentle character but she was sharp and intelligent. She must have noticed Rayni looking at Rexanders back for too long for it to be just a passing look. 

However the fire in Rayni's belly cared nought for her conflicting emotions, she moaned in ecstasy and he groaned deeply in her ear. Oh, it felt so nice. She felt warm, she felt whole and some twisted part of her mind blurred his lustful face into one that showed admiration and what was almost love. In these few minutes she let herself believe, as she always did, that she was the only one for him. What a foreign thought- a person who she can call her own, a person who chose to stay. It's pathetic that she's weak in the face of a man wanting her, regardless if that be only for her body. However, this was not just any man, this man was her husband so she was allowed this. For two years she could play pretend but once this facade inevitably ended she would promptly erase his trace from both her heart and mind. She would not live life in memory of a love that never existed, a love that never was.

—--

It was late at night as Rayni wandered through the corridors, humming to herself like a woman gone mad. As she passed along a corridor she was forbidden to be in she heard glass break and paused to sneakily peek through the crack in the door. 

There she saw her beloved husband, losing his sanity to alcohol. One, two, three, how many bottles were there on the floor? A man after drinking that much should be out cold, yet this beast of a man only wobbled. 

"Enough!" His voice boomed, as he held his head between his hands. He's suffering and that makes Rayni sad. She wants to go help him, go console him but she hesitates because she knows her presence will only make it worse. So she waits for his cries to stop, he falls to his knees but she waits a little longer till he drags himself to the sofa. Only when she's sure he's in deep sleep does she enter, steadily and quietly she sits beside him and softly strokes his hair from his face and wipes the tear tracks from them. Rayni feels sharp pains in her heart, to love is to hurt and she had made the mistake of loving. Rayni would not dare touch him if he was awake, he hates her touch, her being itself. He calls her name in his sleep and the dagger in her heart turns once more. Must it always be this way? She covers him in a blanket, and places a glass of water next to him before she leaves to return to her room. Once inside she looks around and sees the barren room, empty and void just like her. She crawls into bed and cries into her pillow feeling hopeless and pitiful. 

Must it always be this way?

"My lady," Rayni opened her eyes, to see papers on her desk. She must have fallen asleep, damn another cursed memory found itself to her dream. "My lady, dinner is ready." Eloise called once more. Rayni sighed and rose, but before she could walk further Eloise handed her a handkerchief. Rayni took it questioningly, only then did the wetness on her cheek dawn on her. She said nothing more as she wiped away her tears and pressed her cold hands to her red puffy eyes. 

 —-

"Rayni," Rexander called unusually enthusiastic. Rayni looked up from her book with one raised eyebrow. 

"Yes, my Lord,"

"I have something to show you, follow me," Rayni, curious herself, walked briskly after Rexander.

In the middle of the hall there lay many different carts, some filled with herbs, some with trinkets and some with gold and jewels. "My, did you find a treasure cave?" Rayni remarked, taking all the items in.

"Close, a monster lair filled with all sorts!" Rexander smiled big and wide, like a boy getting a new toy. Rayni had not seen this expression on him before and saved it in her mind for later. It was such a rare sight.

"I hate to be so negative but should we not get a mage to come and make sure there is not anything worrisome here?"

"Myra has given the all clear, she's currently gathering the other mages to come and log what we have found. She says there are items with magic here,"

"How interesting," Rayni scanned through the items, her eyes catching a tiny pebble that seemed bizarre amongst the other rare jewels inside the box. She picked it up and looked at Rexander, "I wonder why this is here," Rexander smiled amusedly. "What?" Rayni asked.

"It's just interesting that amongst all the jewels your eyes caught the odd looking pebble," Rayni, not quite sure whether to be offended or not, remarked, "Well it does stand out in the box its been placed in." 

"True," Rexander then began looking through other boxes, Rayni took that opportunity to continue her exploration. There she had come across a familiar looking mirror. 

She pulled the cloth off and inspected it further but later deemed it was a normal mirror. It was rather dusty but if you looked at it beyond the filth it was covered in it was a rather nice one. Rayni touched the mirror to see how sturdy it was but as soon as she did, she felt a rush of energy. 

She saw herself in the mirror and it had her holding her breath. Her youngerself was crying in her old room, 'what a familiar scene' Rayni thought. She watched her younger self weep pathetically, her hair tangled, her clothes shabby and she could feel everything she felt then eerily clear. It was another failed attempt of her father trying to 'fix' her. He was especially cruel with his words that day and young Rayni could not understand why her father detested her so much despite her best efforts. She was too young then, she was just learning of her family's hatred towards her and still had a lengthy journey filled with pain to go through before she finally accepted her ill fate. The sobbing young Rayni locked eyes with her, she could lie and say it gets better but it doesn't. "Save me, please," young Rayni's voice echoed in her ears, if only she could. But as she saw the girl trembling and weak she began to hate her too. 'If only you were stronger', she thought bitterly.

"Did you hear that?" Rexander asked behind her, she grabbed the cloth and covered the mirror again.

"No? What did you hear?" She feigned ignorance. Rexander came to investigate further, in his hands he was holding a small book." 'Fated lovers', I did not think such a book would interest you," Rayni averted.

"It looked familiar so I picked it up, but as you said this book is of no interest to me,"

"You unknowingly insult such good literature, whoever was hoarding all this certainly had good taste," She took the book from him and brushed her hand over the cover, "It is so old, it has been forever since I read this," She muttered fondly.

"It is yours then," Rexander announced. 

"Thank you. I must attend to something, I will see you later," Rayni smiled appreciatively and left.

"Dinner?" Rexander called behind her, but Rayni had already disappeared from his sight leaving him alone with his treasures. Rexander sighed and began to look through the boxes once more. 

"Having fun?" Myra asked a few minutes later, smirking at Rexander's amusement. 

"You can say that," He retorted, continuing his search.

"So many magical objects in one room, I have not felt this alive in a while," She commented, joining Rexander.

"I wonder what they all do," He asked absentmindedly. 

"I've called someone who should be able to tell us, she is a snappy old lady but she is wise and has vast knowledge on magical history and objects." 

"When is she coming?"

"She's right here," Gareth walked in, an elderly lady half his height, wearing a thick black coat with grey fur, who was slightly hunched over followed behind him, her elegant cane with a lion's head tapping on the floor.

"Ah, you must be Judith May. A pleasure to meet you," Myra welcomed.

"Thank you for coming all this way, your help will be appreciated," Rexander greeted politely, it was no surprise she had so much knowledge on history she was looking just as old as it in his opinion.

"No need for such politeness young boy, I am being paid handsomely for my services. This will benefit me more than you," Myra scoffed surprisingly at Judith May's audaciousness, taking an instant liking to her. Rexander said nothing and simply smiled, her honesty was somewhat refreshing and reminded him of a certain someone.

"It is late, let us get you dinner and settle you in so that you may start tomorrow," Gareth offered. 

"Rightly so, you would be cruel for making an old lady your grandma's age work as this time," Gareth gave a small smile and guided her to the dinner hall.

"Before you go, I had one quick question," Rexander called her back quickly. She turned and raised her eyebrow.

"What is it then?"

"That mirror, what does it do?" He asked, as he uncovered the mirror that moments ago had Rayni startled. He had never seen her unnerved like that before; even in that face of monsters she stood firm so what about this fragile, dusty mirror had made her pale? He could not shake off what he heard as well. 

"That old thing?" Judith May observed it with her sharp eyes and concluded, "It's better cousins can show you the truth, ask any question and it will answer. This ones broke though, it shows you the darkest truths of your life- the ones that still haunt you." 

Rexander's face grew grimm, "I see, thank you.".