Lost and Longing.

She glanced at him, seeing him plaster yet another odd look of pondering on his face. It was only due to her proximity to him that she realized that his eyes were occasionally darting to the distance, and each time he slightly turned his head, he was taking in all of the surroundings.

It struck Ahsoka quite suddenly, at the moment he may look calm on the outside, even a bit silly and stupid. But Harry was certainly preparing for a fight.

"Well, it's obvious innit? Either your senses are going, which is a sign of old age. You know how they always say the senses are the first to go. Or it's a stamina issue you have on your hands. Though I'm sure you're very familiar with dealing with a problem like that," Harry nodded earnestly, an impish smile on his face. Both of the Jedi Master's stared at Harry with disbelief on their faces, a look that was exactly mirrored on Ahsoka's face as she looked him in disbelief. She couldn't fathom what had possessed him to go this route instead of explaining the situation, or even attempting to lie their way through it. To insult them to their faces was something she would've never pondered, let alone attempted.

Harry however wasn't bothered by the shock she knew he could see as well as sense coming from her as he made a show of looking up and down the two masters. "Definitely performance issues, I guess it happens to the best of you." He nodded.

"What … we don't … that's not … you … " Master Mundi stuttered out, no one had ever spoken to him like that before and he had no idea how to respond. He was a member of the Jedi High Council, and was used to all manner of sentient being fawning over themselves whenever they was in his presence.

Harry nodded slowly along, content to pretend as if he was pleased with the two Jedi's agreement with his analysis, when suddenly, he gave them an incredulous look and raised his voice slightly, attracting the attentions of several different passerbyes. His voice suddenly sounded outraged, and only Ahsoka recognized the acting in his voice as she'd already witnessed his change in tone several times.

"You Jedi really have no shame do you? I mean really! Going around and announcing your deficiencies like that to just anyone!"

He adopted a furtive look and gave yet another glance around, though his voice didn't drop at all. "You do know that there are pills and stims you can take that will help you get it up? Most medicenters dispense them now, you don't even need a prescription!"

Master Tre'jin was swelling up in indignation at Harry's statements and what he was implying, especially so publicly. "We are Jedi!"

Harry frowned in puzzlement and then blinked,. A look of realization shot across his face. "Oh I get it! Right! Jedi would never do that sort of thing!"

He continued to nod agreeably, as if Harry were now talking to someone he considered his best friend, "Don't worry, you can always say its for memory problems… or baldness." He glanced at the Jedi with the large domed forehead mostly barren of hair.

"No one would have to know. Wink wink." Harry said looking eminently pleased with himself that he had just solved their problems. The fact that he actually spoke out the words 'wink wink' certainly didn't help.

Ahsoka, whose attention had almost never left Harry's during the entire exchanged, couldn't help it as she felt her jaw physically drop in shock at that last statement. There didn't seem to be any rhyme or reason behind what Harry literally spewed from his mouth. She had never seen anyone talk to Jedi like Harry had. He had not only mocked them, but had made fun of them publicly in a way that had passerby's watching with curiosity.

"Who

are

you?!"

Master

Mundi

finally demanded, getting over his extreme shock. "And… why are you carrying that man?" He asked belatedly.

It was only then, when Master Mundi of all people began to lose composure, did she realize that the Jedi opposite them were now thinking about anything but a surge in the Force they had sensed.

And that had likely been Harry's plan the entire time.

"Harry and I'd say it was nice to meet you. But… I'm not sure it is." Harry responded honestly, then patted the boots of the man that was slung over his shoulder. "And this is my friend. I've taken to calling him Mister Religious, don't ask. Ahsoka here was appalled when she found out what the man has done." "I don't want to even know what some stodgy old codgers like you would do if you'd heard his crimes." Harry nodded earnestly, "You'd probably fall over and have a heart attack or something… you certainly look old enough to have to worry about the amount of shocks your heart can take."

That seemed to really offend Master Tre'jin who looked back and forth between Harry and the person he carried on his shoulder. "I think… we're going to need to ask you to come with us."

Harry blinked and thought for a second. "Um. Well… you can ask if you want. But I'm going to go ahead and pre-emptively tell you no. Sorry. Though my aunt and uncle would have been so disappointed in me." Harry turned to Ahsoka, and while his voice was still firmly in the playful tone he had used, she could see his eyes were telling an entirely different story. For some reason, she got the impression Harry wasn't satisfied with the results of his taunting that he was getting.

He continued to speak to her, despite whatever reservations in his approach he was having, "When I was growing up, they always used to encourage me to go with any stranger who offered me candy. They were always so disappointed that no one actually came by with an offer."

He grinned and glanced at the Jedi and Clone troopers, "You don't seem to be offering anything at the moment… but I've learned the hard way not to go anywhere with strange old men especially if they have a bizarre fetish for strange looking robes or sweets."

He looked both of the Masters up and down, "Now I don't know what your relationship with candy is, but considering what you're wearing looks like a combination of a dress and a burlap sack, I'm going to say you both fit at least half the bill."

The clones behind the two Jedi had their faces covered by their armored helmets, but at the moment, it was very clear that all six of them now shook with mirth at the expense of the two Jedi before them.

Harry's pleasant grin turned to mock outrage again as he continued, and Ashoka got the impression he was now clearly enjoying whatever line of thought had suddenly occurred to him, "Though, if you're that quick to attempt things like that with perfect strangers, I can see how a beautiful young woman like Miss Tano would want to leave your Order."

His look turned to one of further outrage. "I certainly wouldn't want to be around old pedophiles like you either. And to think you Jedi have legalized kidnapping of children down to a science. You'd think someone would catch on to what a bunch of old men who take custody of young children and then insist those children refer to them as 'Master' are really up to."

Harry raked his eyes up the two men and shivered dramatically. "Disgusting."

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