Lost and Longing.

Harry turned his attention from Aayla and smiled sadly at Ahsoka. "Trust me, you aren't the only one to make that mistake. I've been there. War often puts people into positions of leadership they aren't quite ready to handle. You can only learn from it and move on. Become the leader you need to be by learning the practical lessons as they come."

Ahsoka's brow furrowed a little bit, looking up at him. She was surprised when she didn't see recrimination or lecturing there, simply understanding of a shared pain. It was one thing she liked about Harry. He didn't ever try and hide or pretend when he spoke with her about something serious.

Harry turned back to Aayla, and she was surprised that she didn't see any recrimination in his expression either. He hadn't been upset with her for making an observation or a statement of fact. "Is that all they think?"

Aayla glanced at Ahsoka, knowing they had this discussion in the past. "She is generally regarded as too passionate and emotional, and has a problem with the attachments she forms."

"Again, just like her Master," she finished with.

"And that right there is the problem. You list emotions and attachments as insults," Harry replied immediately, disgust in his tone.

"Emotions and attachments can both lead to the Dark Side," Aayla's response was almost reflexive, as it was one of the central mantras of the Jedi Order. Harry shook his head, "Can lead… key words. If you go your whole life, never experiencing the ups and downs of life. If you never experience heart-break, loss of a relative, jealousy over a childhood friend's cool toy you wish you had, then how will you react as an adult who never had to deal with those things when the situation is far more dire? How will you react to the death of someone you know?"

"Deaths are not something to be mourned. It simply means a person is free to become one with the Force," Aayla replied, once more one of the mantras of the Order coming to the fore.

"Wow, remind me to never rely on you to rescue anyone for me. If you don't care if they live or die, you're useless," Harry stated plainly as he shook his head in slight disbelief. "No emotions mean you're no longer living. You're a Droid. I might as well program one of them to fulfill your functions."

"The Jedi Order isn't about denying emotions exist, it's about not letting them rule you," Aayla responded, this wasn't the first time she'd had this argument. "Droids can't feel the living Force."

"The Order has no concept of living. They've cut themselves off from living life," Harry replied shortly. "You Jedi shut yourselves down to avoid putting yourselves in all situations that might cause a negative emotional response. Things normal people, at least emotionally healthy ones, learn to deal with as children and teenagers." "Your Order's religion has decided to avoid the whole situation entirely, and stick everyone in some tight rope act from a circus. Of course toss in 'Force powers' and that balancing act is suddenly done 100 meters in the air with thermal detonators. While you all hope you all never drop one, or Merlin forbid, fall down."

"I understand this is just from the accounts I've heard from Ahsoka, though your opinion seems to dovetail nicely. Anakin Skywalker and Ahsoka, are just two examples. 'Passionate' as they may be, by your own admittance are powerful and incredibly accomplished in your war. Though of course when Ahsoka was telling me things, she tried her hardest to downplay her part in things," Harry stated wryly with a shake of his head and glanced at her, grinning a bit when she blushed and looked down. "They've done this without cutting themselves off entirely from living. Attachments with one another... to others. Passion. Compassion. Those things so looked down on, have been a strength for them at times," Harry said while gesturing at Ahsoka.

"Yes but those very things could lead them down the Dark Side. They become liabilities in battle and can impair their judgment," Aayla replied, a nervousness to her tone now as Harry openly espoused an idea much like Sith propaganda.

"Your life doesn't need to be 100% ruled by the doctrines of your Order. There is a reason during times of war that soldiers have leave and should have strict time limits on deployment. Otherwise they burn out or develop a whole host of issues along the lines of post traumatic stress disorder or worse," Harry stated with a sigh, "When you're not in battle, there's no need to avoid attachments. Yet your Order looks down on them for this."

"But… they're risking falling to the Dark Side. Attachment can skew judgment and cause a Jedi to value one person or thing above others. They lose sight of the Greater Good," Aayla said and then blinked. Harry's eyes had darkened and his entire expression hardened.

"'The Greater Good.'" Harry spat out the phrase, and the absolute loathing he colored the phrase was far more visible than at any other point in the discussion. "More lives have been sacrificed and lost to that phrase than any other in history. Mostly because people who didn't understand the true meaning behind the phrase used it to justify their actions." "It is the truth!" Aayla argued, her tone becoming more heated as Harry's philosophy seemed to more and more mirror what she had seen of the Sith. "They form attachments and then they start making decisions that sacrifice others in order to protect whatever is most important to them."

"It just gets worse from there. Their thinking gets skewed. They start to focus on other things. They become overwhelmed with fear of losing those that are important, or vengeance when those that are important to them are inevitably lost. Having and being ruled by those emotions can easily make them vulnerable to the Dark Side," Aayla said emphatically.

Harry snorted, "So can having the compassion of a rock. Without compassion there is no morality. By your logic a Jedi should never smile, or laugh or frown or be irritated. By the very nature of the example you used, your Order makes you suppress your emotions so that if you get sent on suicide missions, your compatriots should not risk saving you or risk being labeled as evil for it."

"That's not true. It's just allowing the emotions that cause those things to rule us that is forbidden," Aayla replied shaking her head, "And what is your alternative? Just indulging in your emotions?"

"Well, admitting that one has them is a good first step," Harry replied.

"And when those emotions get twisted? Or become overwhelming?" Aayla demanded and pointed at Ahsoka. "She was just here ranting, upset and angry and all your shelves were shaking in direct response to her emotions."

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