Let’s Block the Ruined Route in Advance

Eileen’s method for getting Felix to talk was simple.

 

Just be there for him.

 

It was a tried and true method of healing, one she’d experienced first-hand with Cordelia.

 

She doesn’t really know any other way.

 

Comforting someone who is hurting is always difficult. Especially when you don’t know what kind of pain they’re going through.

 

Looking for a breakthrough, Eileen remembered a favorite Animal Farm show from her past life. As much as she felt bad extrapolating to humans, the solutions to animal pain were often the same.

 

Give them a home.

 

They need a place they can trust. Eileen’s greatest strength was being there for them, even if she couldn’t comfort them with fancy words.

 

Luckily, their nanny was also elderly and had trouble staying with him all day, so she had plenty of opportunities.

 “Hi! Felix. Did you have a nice breakfast?” 

She greeted him more cheerfully than usual, but he didn’t answer today, just curled up in a ball on his bed, turning his head every now and then.

 

Eileen didn’t mind, so she opened the window wide to let the air in and arranged the flowers she’d brought from the greenhouse in vases on the table and bedside. Then she grabbed four books and sat down in the chair next to Felix’s bed.

 “Today I’ve brought you a book called The Most Famous Man in the North. It’s a fairy tale and probably too childish for your age, but I haven’t seen it yet. I’ll read it to you.” 

At first, Eileen just wanted to sit, but the silence got to her, so she started bringing books. To help him heal, she chose books that were not age appropriate, but mostly children’s books with hopeful endings.

 

After reading three in a row, whether the child responded or not, it was time for her to pick up the fourth. The door burst open with a crash and Cordelia and Lucian burst in.

 “Eileen!” “Did we decide to stop knocking?” 

Lucian, who’d been pestering her for no reason, held out a board game.

 “Let’s play. New deal.” 

When the children heard Eileen’s plan, they willingly joined in. After swordsmanship and other lessons, they naturally gathered in Felix’s room, keeping him as far away as possible so he wouldn’t be left alone.

 

Eileen wondered if she was giving him too much time to himself, but then she remembered the little boy who had told her he didn’t want to be alone.

 “If you want to join us, just say so!” 

Felix was disinterested in most things, but the occasional casual glance gave Eileen hope.

 

Now that Orgen was gone again after Theresia’s funeral, Eileen’s class schedule was relatively

light compared to the other two, so it was only natural that she would be the one at Felix’s side the longest.

 “You know, I told you that day that I was a wizard, but I’m actually an elementalist.” 

Seeds of various kinds bloomed into tiny flowers on the child’s bed. She’d picked only the simplest flowers she could find in the room, but the instant blooms gave off a mystical aura.

 “I’ll be sure to show you your favorite flowers next time. I’ve ordered some more of those seeds.” 

The child stared for a moment at Eileen, who smiled sweetly. Her grip on the quilt had tightened slightly, but she didn’t realize it.

 

The more he looked at the bed, the more he became intrigued by the flowers.

 

The flowers were fragrant and came in so many different shapes and colors that he felt like he was in a small field. It was quite an impressive moment for Felix, who had to spend most of his time in a small annex with nails nailed to the windows.

 

As Eileen watched with pride as he stared at the flowers, she grabbed a handful of them, and with a bang, she ate them.

 “……!” “By the way, these flowers are edible. You can have them as tea, or you can eat them raw for dessert, like this, see?” 

A bunch of pretty white flowers disappeared into her mouth. Felix, feeling a little uncomfortable, quickly disappeared under the covers before Eileen could finish her sentence.

 “I thought we were getting somewhere this time!” “Chew.” 

The sound of Star’s sigh rang in Eileen’s ears, and she couldn’t hide the bitterness in her heart. 

 

‘I’ll come back tomorrow.’ 

 

With that, she walked out of the room, her steps weak.

  

* * *

  “It’s raining so hard.” 

Eileen closed the book she was reading and looked out the window. The sky, which had been gray since morning, had been pouring rain since noon.

 “You know what? Later, if you don’t mind, we can go to the greenhouse. It’s pretty cool.” “There’s a botanical garden out there. They sell some food inside, and it would be fun to have a picnic.” “Do you want to read more books? Maybe I’ll bring a novel tomorrow?” 

Eileen spoke to the child in a more cheerful voice than usual, trying to ignore the rain that was unnecessarily dampening her mood.

 

As she chatted, Eileen reached for the next book.

 *Thunder! * “Ugh!” 

There was a loud clap of thunder and a flash of lightning. Not once, but several times in a row, the thunder and lightning struck, knocking out the fire that had lit the room. Eileen wiped a startled hand across her chest and stood up to call the maid.

 

Felix quickly grabbed her arm with a shaking hand.

 “I don’t like thunder; I don’t like being alone.” “……!” 

His voice was cracked after so long, and the force emanating from his skinny body was strong enough to startle Eileen.

 

Eileen stared in amazement at Felix’s tiny head clinging to her like a drowning man to a dong line, then carefully climbed onto the bed.

 “Okay. I’m not leaving.” 

Unfolding the crumpled blanket and crawling under it with Felix, Eileen pulled a flower seed from her pocket. It was a kite seed.

 “Look.” 

One by one, small, bright flowers sprouted from the blanket. The light from the dragon was faint, but when several bloomed at once in the small space of the blanket, the combined light was quite bright.

 

Felix’s trembling diminished as he stared into the light.

 “Pretty…” 

Eileen smiled. The child stared at the flower until the dragon’s flame burned out and returned to its seed, just as it had last time.

 

The way the bunch of flowers was reflected in the child’s eyes, Eileen thought they looked like little milky ways. His pink hair shimmered in the white light.

 

‘He looks like a fairy.’

 

Then the fading glow disappeared completely. Eileen stared at the figure in confusion.

 “Well, dragons bloom again, but they go back to seed and don’t bloom for a while. I can force it to bloom, but it won’t be as bright as before.” “That’s okay, it’s okay now.” 

Eileen and Felix poked their heads out of the blankets. The rain was still coming down, but the lightning had stopped, and it wasn’t as bad as it had been before. Eileen wondered if she should leave the child and call for the maid, but the child’s mouth opened again, and she fell silent.

 “No matter how hard… the game was, it was bearable because one day it would end.” 

Felix picked up the remaining seed and rolled it lightly.

 “I thought it was okay to be hard because you promised me everything would be okay when you came and comforted me.” 

The child hugged the blanket and laid his head back.

 “But then, at some point, the game didn’t end.” 

In the cramped confines of his closet, he prayed that the game would end soon. But hours passed, and it was his nanny, Ayla, who pulled him out of the closet, sobbing.

 

When Felix saw Edwin again a few days later and

clung to him, he opened his mouth nonchalantly, as if he had just realized what he had forgotten.

 “Oh, I forgot.” 

On that day, the rules that held the child’s world together crumbled.

 

The child, who had somehow managed to endure the abuse in the name of play, had forgotten how to breathe the moment he realized there might be no end to the game.

 

The man holding him by the throat, staring at the writhing child in disgust, spoke.

 “Filthy.” 

The child, still on the ground, listened to the footsteps moving away, his eyes darting after his back, which was already gone.

 “Don’t go. We’re not done playing yet, and I can’t leave unless you let me out.” 

Even in the most desperate moments, there was an end. But if there was no end. If it was something that lasted forever. If Ayla hadn’t come along that day, he thought to himself.

 “This world is all a play, and if one doesn’t end, you can’t start another, that’s the rule.” “…….” 

Eileen sighed in exasperation. It wasn’t anger at the child. She was angry at all the humans who had put Felix in this predicament.

 

“Why are you so upset that they’re dead? It’s a game, Cordelia.”

 

The original Felix flashed through her mind. The one who saw everything as play, even humans as toys.

 

Suddenly, a red-faced Eileen grabbed his hand firmly.

 “This world is not a playground!” 

The child’s eyes burned with anger at the pain he had suffered.

 “It’s your life. How can your life be someone else’s play? You live it, you think about it, and it goes on because you live it, not because someone else can pick it up and end it at will.” 

Felix’s mouth fell open, his tears unfamiliar. Even the nanny’s tears didn’t sparkle like that.

 “Here’s the deal. All play is over for today, and you can’t call a horrible bully play anymore. Because real play is fun.” 

Eileen held out her hand.

 “Here, put your pinky here. Thumbs up. Yeah, like that.” 

Felix, caught off guard by her momentum, was still dazed, and Eileen, who smirked at the sight, gently squeezed his hand.

 “Now that the play is over, let’s do something fun from now on.” “Why… Why are you so nice to me?” 

The child sincerely wondered why she was being so kind to him without even playing.

 “I just wanted to. I guess I like you.” “…It’s weird.” 

Eileen giggled, and Felix lifted the corners of his mouth slightly, mimicking her. It was an unnatural smile, but kind of cute, Eileen thought.

 

The rain, which had been pouring down incessantly, gradually eased. As the world fell silent, Felix realized.

 

‘The play is really over.’

 

The two children slowly drifted off to sleep in the comforting silence.

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