Let Us Discuss My Glorious Hell

From that gaze, Doyun realized that the invitation to come home was directed not at him but at the departed child.

A vague feeling came over him at the thought of keeping vigil at the funeral hall alone. He suddenly missed the half-broken cigarette.

As he fumbled in his jacket’s inner pocket, the sharp corner of the cigarette pack poked his fingertip. Doyun took it out and left the funeral hall he had barely kept watch over.

The reporters said to be lining up to photograph the hidden son and capture the final journey of the actress who had once shaken the world were nowhere to be seen.

Thinking it must be his grandfather’s doing—a man who obsessed over having a perfect family yet lived as an unmarried father for nearly half a century—Doyun quietly walked on.

As he left the funeral home, the chilly night air enveloped him as if it had been waiting. Doyun hunched his shoulders tightly and hurried toward the smoking area next to the parking lot.

Just as he was about to sit on the bench full of holes,

“…Ah.”

Doyun let out a sigh as he dropped the cigarette pack. Foolishly distracted by the nostalgic name, he had forgotten to buy a lighter.

Though he wanted to borrow a light, he was alone in the smoking area. But returning now would only depress him further.

Doyun looked around, searching for a lighter that might have fallen on the ground. Fortunately, he found a matchbox with frayed edges under the bench.

Opening what looked like a matchbox from a nearby Chinese restaurant, yellowish matchsticks peeked out with their heads.

With their broken bodies and trampled appearance, they seemed no different from himself.

After fiddling with the matchbox for a moment, Doyun took out a cigarette and put it in his mouth. Then he lit a match with the battered matchbox and brought it to his lips, cupping his hands.

Just as the small flame was about to light the end of the tobacco, there came the sound of wet tires.

As he squinted against the blinding headlights, click, a cold door sound was heard.

“Why are you out here? You’ll catch a cold.”

Startled by the familiar voice, Doyun looked up.

“Let’s go inside. The night wind is still cold.”

Eventually, his eyes met with the man who had gotten out of the car.

The moment he recognized the man, his heart sank.

Black hair, black eyes, black tie and suit jacket. The man in completely achromatic colors was staring at him with impassive eyes.

His half-exposed forehead, neat eyebrows, and straight nose bridge under deep eyes were identical to the youthful version in his memories.

If anything had changed, perhaps it was that his jawline, once so thin and androgynous, had become more defined.

He seemed a bit taller too. The shoulders that once fit like a puzzle piece when leaned against also appeared broader than before.

Surprised by the unexpected reunion, Doyun stared at him blankly.

In contrast, despite his kind tone, the man showed no particular emotion as he headed toward the funeral home.

After quietly staring at his back, Doyun put the cigarette he had in his mouth back into the pack. Then, slowly adjusting his clothes, he followed him.

Behind the steady footsteps, unfamiliar footsteps overlapped. Despite the close presence, the man showed no particular reaction.

The familiar back view made Doyun’s chest tighten. Even after ten years, secretly watching his back was still not a welcome experience.

The approaching footsteps stopped. As he suspected, the place that he entered was his mother’s funeral parlor.

For a moment, he wondered if the man had come to his mother’s funeral parlor because of their connection.

However, he soon realized that the man had visited as a director of Haedam Hotel, an affiliate company, because his mother had been a model for Haedam Resort.

Doyun, thinking it was an excessive thought, pressed his lips tightly and headed to the memorial room.

The man who had been waiting for him to enter quietly offered incense, placed his hands together neatly, and bowed his head.

Even until the solemn condolence ended, Doyun couldn’t gather his thoughts. As if being considerate of him, the man conveyed his condolences with calm eyes.

The man, whose mere appearance caused significant ripples, gazed at the funeral portrait for a moment before slowly turning around.

After leaving the memorial room, he headed not to the reception area but to the shoe rack.

The first mourner was preparing to leave the funeral parlor without even having a meal. Only then did Doyun, who had been dazed, come to his senses.

Trying to stop him belatedly, Doyun saw the man who had already put on his shoes leaving the funeral parlor.

Thud, thud, the sound of dress shoes echoed through the hallway. Feeling strangely deflated, Doyun rushed out of the funeral parlor impulsively.

“Ex-excuse me…!”

His voice broke awkwardly. Fortunately, the man stopped his steps and slowly turned his head.

When his anxious face reflected in the man’s pitch-black eyes, Doyun froze and couldn’t say a word.

He had stopped the man impulsively, but when faced with him, he could only move his lips, not knowing what to call him.

While hesitating for a long time, the man’s gaze slowly fell downward.

A slight furrow appeared between the man’s brows, as if he found Doyun’s barefoot appearance improper.

That expression reminded him of ten years ago, making a corner of his heart painfully tight.

“Excuse me, please… have some food before you go.”

“…”

“I don’t mean anything by it. It’s just… you came all this way, and if you leave so soon, I’ll feel uneasy.”

Doyun increasingly trailed off his words. As he spoke, he realized he was doing only the things the man disliked.

The man extremely disliked people who needlessly drew attention. Stopping someone with trivial words was also among the behaviors he despised.

However, for some whimsical reason, the man didn’t step away. Furthermore, an interesting glint appeared in his eyes.

When he became certain that the man would stay a bit longer, Doyun belatedly felt the coldness in his feet. Only then did he realize he had rushed out barefoot, and he awkwardly wiggled his toes with an embarrassed expression.

Yujae, who had been observing him for a while, slightly raised the corner of his mouth.

“I’m sorry, I have another appointment.”

Despite his gentle smile, his answer was different from what Doyun had expected.

Whether it was an excuse or not, Doyun felt that he would certainly regret it if he let the man go.

“P-please have even just one spoonful before you go.”

For some reason, his voice trembled slightly. Doyun twitched his fingertips as if trying to hold the man back.

Despite his actions dripping with lingering attachment, the man didn’t seem to mind.

“I’d like to, but I need to go straight to the airport, so I can’t stay long.”

“Still…”

As he tried to take one step closer, his phone suddenly vibrated.

While he flinched at the sharp sound and fumbled in his jacket, the man indifferently checked his wristwatch.

“I’ll be going now. It must be difficult for you, but I hope you find strength during this time.”

With these customary words, the man completely turned around. Seeing the familiar back view that he had seen countless times, Doyun froze.

In that moment, all strength left his body. His already cold feet felt as if they were cracking open.

His hand, which had been suspended in midair, fell powerlessly. Click, a jacket button caught on his thumb, making a loud noise.

As if responding to that sound, the man tilted his head slightly. Then he stopped his steps that had already moved quite far away.

“Oh, right.”

The man gave a short sigh as if he had remembered something. Before Doyun could reply, he turned around while putting his hand into his inner jacket pocket.

“Mr. Seo Doyun.”

The man, who had somehow approached right in front of him, handed him a business card that he had taken from his inner pocket.

Doyun, who didn’t even have the energy to move his lips, couldn’t extend his hand and only stared blankly at the business card in front of him.

The man raised one corner of his mouth as if he had expected this. Then he put the business card in Doyun’s jacket pocket and patted it twice, telling him not to forget.

“Let’s have a drink sometime.”

He bent down to meet Doyun’s eyes.

“It doesn’t have to be a drink—I’d prefer it if you just contacted me.”

He raised one eyebrow as if emphasizing his last words.

As if determined to get an answer, the man stared at Doyun intently. Doyun, who had been staring back blankly, slowly nodded.

Only then did the man straighten his posture and briefly hold Doyun’s hand before letting go.

Perhaps his claim about having an appointment was true, as the man left the hallway with larger strides than before.

The faint shadow lingered in his eyes, but it soon disappeared. The hallway where he had left gradually grew cold, as if winter had arrived.