Legacies of light

My mother removing his shoes asks, “How was your day?”

“Horrid, why do I have to work for my brother!"

My mother says, “I know it’s unfair, but even after your father unfairly gave everything to your brother, he still chose to keep you by his side.”

He starts at my mother and says, “Why did you phrase it as if he is doing me a favour.”

My mom looks down and says, “I didn’t mean it like that, I am just sure that’s how he views it.”

Running up towards my mother's side, I say, “They look down on you Dad, but you’re the only reason everything here is capable of working. I know it must suck not getting the right reward for all your effort, but you're still the best.”

My dad puts his hand on my head and rubs it saying, “Of course you would understand, unlike the rest of the idiot here, you’re my blood.”

“Hehe,” I say gripping on my mother's skirt.

Breaking my hand from my mother, he pulls me to the table in the centre of the room and says, “My son needs to eat if he wants to grow up strong.”

Looking directly at me, he says, “You’re going to prove to everyone that my genes are superior to my stupid brothers, so you need to grow up big and strong.”

Our entire house is small and outside of the bedrooms, all other parts of the horse are within reach of each other. My mother starts to run around getting dinner ready and as she does, she makes great effort not to even nudge my father or me.

While my mother runs around, my father says, “So you see my brother was a kiss ass every single day. He never spent a single moment standing on his own two feet, so my father felt sorry for him constantly. That’s why even though I was the smarter of the two my father gave everything the my younger brother.”

None of that is true dad, it is because you were irresponsible while your brother put great stock into cultivating it. You were a fool.

“I was always going to and from battlefields as well, so my brother had much more time to make my faster fall in love with him.”

Lies, you never once stepped foot on the battlefield and simply ran around the empire partying, and buying humans.

“Everyone growing up around here loved me with all of their hearts, but my sick brother spread vicious rumours about me to make them all turn their backs on me.”

That was a lie, everyone hated the cocky son of the Cian, a man who would walk around like he was a noble who fought in the liberation of our people but was no more than a brat who abused his status and money.

“This entire place would be so much better if I was in charge.”

It wouldn’t, if you were in charge you would run this place into the ground and we would be back to poverty in no time.

“Still it hurts you know, that despite all of the success I have given to this land no one wants to understand me.”

You fail again and again, and again. Yet your brother keeps you working for him out of love, he even offers to give us a better house, but you refuse out of spite.

“I even had to settle for a single wife like her.” He says staring at my mother.

I grip my fist under the table, and I can feel myself about to burst, but suddenly I feel my mother's hand on my head and she says, “I am sorry, one like me should be a mistress a best.”

Annoyed, my father says, “Well if you know that try a bit harder then. I come home and there isn’t even anything on the table, what the hell do you even do all day, your head really is full of air.”

My mother laughs a bit, and I say, “But father you come home at erratic times throughout the day, how could she know when you are returning.”

My father says, “Let me tell you one thing Ferdiad, there is something called true love in this life, and if you love your partner enough they should be able to tell everything about you.

Your mother should just know when I am coming home, know what I want to eat and know what would make me feel better, but she can’t even do that. Just an utter lack of love, when you grow up I will get you a way better wife.”

“Hahaha,” I laugh. Even Minagrain without the ability to speak knows how to communicate better than an oaf like you.

Behind me, I hear some tears fall down from my mother's face, and start to feel rage build up inside me, and as this happens my father swings on his chair like a child, laughing saying, “You really understand me don’t you, you truly are the greatest child I could ever ask for.”

“Thank you.”

“Hey so what, gave you those wounds on your body today, my little treasure.”

Me and my mother become tense, and I say, “Oh these, I just fell and tripped a little.”

My father an eagle beastkin brings his eyes close to my face and says, “Don’t lie to me, since I see little pieces of rocks in your face. Did someone do this to you and why would they do such a thing?”

My mother says, “Kids can be cruel they were probably just picking on them.”

“I didn’t ask you to speak scum. Now my son tell me.”

Shaking, I say, “I don’t know.”

“I see it was the attention seekers' fault.”

“Minagrain did nothing wrong!”

My father hits his hand on the table in response and says, “Did I ask you to speak?”

My mother says, “Minagrain is sleeping, if she doesn’t get rest she won’t be able to get better.”

My dad strikes my mother directly in her face, and says, “Just like the rest of them you look down on me.”

I get up and grab my father, saying, “Mother isn’t looking down on you it is just, she isn’t lying.”

He stares at my mother with resentment and says, “So now you’re trying to turn my own blood against me.”

He grabs my mother by her hair which causes her to scream, and drags me by my arm. At the right wall of the house, there is a door that leads to a very thin hallway, that then leads to our bedroom, or the storage room.

Within the hallway, my father picks something up and says, “What is this you dumb bitch.”

Cowering mother says, “It is a page?”

“Yes, a page from that little shit’s favourite book, that book she holds twenty-four-seven. You telling me she accidentally ripped it out, or maybe she was rushing to hide from me and mistakenly ripped it out.”

My mother looks down, and my father hits her saying, “SPEAK!”

I try to say something, but my mother puts her hand up to stop me and says, “I a-a-a-am, tell-lling the tr-r-ruth.”

“So that’s how you want to be. Ferdiad stay here and watch this fucking liar,” my father says as he moves forward and walks into my sister's room.

My father moves forward, towards my sister with rage in his body, so I try to move forward and stop him, so I move to the kitchen and grab one of the knives but my mother moves to grab it out of my hand.

“Mom let me go!”

“No, you fool don’t do something so rash! You won’t win, you will be killed, you idiot!”

A horrible scream comes from my sister's room, and I say, “I can’t just let this happen!”

I struggle to get the knife back out of my mother's hand but my mother resists and then slaps me in my face, and almost as if Danu is laughing at us, my father reappears in front of us at that moment.

He viscously kicks my mother to the floor, and then says, “You dare hit my son!”

He throws my sister onto my mother and says, “You ingrate, taking up a weapon in your hand, and trying to punish my son. You a fool, just a foolish scum who got lucky.

You were never able to do anything go, you never had any value before I picked you yet you failed me time, and time again. You are nothing, and I won’t ever listen to a word that comes out of your fucking mouth again.

He kicks her again, and again, then says, “That’s why you raised such a faulty daughter as well!”

My sister grabs onto my father's arm and makes unintelligible noises, but it is clear to me that she is begging him to stop hurting our mother.

But seeing this drives my father into an even deeper rage and he strikes her harder than he has even struck my mother.

From her mouth, teeth and blood fall out and my father says, “I am sick of this attention-seeking behaviour from you. Do you even know the looks of shame I now have pointing at me because of this, you’re a Tuatha Dé Dannan yet you can’t do something even humans can do, people talk and insult me because of this, do you even know how that feels!”

Putting his finger in her, mouth he says, “Talk you fool, I know you can stop with your lies. One doesn’t just lose the ability to do something they always could!”

He keeps doing this until my sister throws up, and as some lands on him he smacks her down and looks at my mother while saying, “I would sell this trash to others, as your mother did to you, but even if one of them accidentally got her pregnant like us, they wouldn’t accept a disgusting roach like her, and that’s all your fault!”

My mother cowers and says, “Sorry.”

My sister gets in between the both of them and puts up both of her hands signalling my father to stop. So he says, “Are you going to speak now?”

In clear visible pain my sister brings her tail in front of them, and controlling the hairs on it she spells out the words, “Please stop Father, I love you and I am sorry for this.”

“You’re sorry?” My father laughs and says, “Ok then, show it.”

Moving to the storage room my father grabs something and then comes back out holding a belt, and says, “Then prove it.”

He begins to whip my mother and my sister so I shout, “FATHER DON’T DO THIS!”

“SHUT YOUR MOUTH! You need to be quiet and see how a man disciplines his family when they don’t know how to behave!”

“You kill them!”

“I won’t, but if you don’t stand there and watch I might.”

My father proceeds to beat them both viscously, more so than ever before. My mother holds Minagrain, and they both cry together, but soon the blood from their cracked skin flows far more than the tears in all three of our eyes.

Soon my father stops, and says, “You’re forgiven for today, so you better have dinner ready when I return.” And like the wind he is gone.

I instantly move over to both of them and cry saying, “Mother, Minagrain!”

My mother says, “I should be fine, but we need to bandage up Minagrain. I will need you to run to our local doctor, and request some supplies, but make sure he doesn’t know what happened.”

Standing over the both of them, I say, “Mother I can’t do this anymore.”

“Ferdiad?”

“We need to leave, we can’t stay here, our lives will be destroyed.”

“No need for that, I know what a horrible mother is like, and I can guarantee your dad isn’t that bad. And in the future when you are older you can protect us.”

“We won’t have a future! Every day he gets closer to killing Minagrain, and I don’t want her to die, so if you don’t come with us I will have to take her and go.”

My mother drops Minagrain to the ground and wraps her arms around me saying, “Please don’t leave me, I won’t be able to survive without you. Your mother will die here, your mother won’t sleep, your mother will be forced into doing whatever he wants. Without the both of you I will die, what man would let his mother die like this? Are you this type of man? Is it not a man's job to protect the woman in his life? Did I raise you to hate me so much?”

“Mommy no, I don’t want that to happen to you.”

Hugging me tighter and whaling like a child, she says, “So please stay with us, please stay with me, without the both of you I have no reason to live, I will die Ferdiad, I will die!”

As my mother breaks down in my arms, I hug her and say, “I won’t go, I will stay.”

“Thank you, Ferdiad, thank you.”