Konoha: The Honored One

Booming. The small mushroom cloud rose slowly, blasting a massive crater into the ground, annihilating all five of Kakuzu's hearts in an instant.

Kakuzu had only one thought before his untimely demise.

Gojo... Insanely strong!

"Wow, that's some fireworks!" Gojo hovered in the air, lazily surveying the colossal crater below. In his grasp was the barely conscious Jinchuriki, dangling like a defeated ragdoll.

Void Snap.

It was a whimsical move Gojo had concocted on the spot—mostly for kicks.

To his surprise, the technique fused with chakra in such a way that its destructive power could easily flatten a village like Henin in one go. Judging by the sheer devastation, it packed enough punch to rival two Tailed Beast Bombs from the Nine Tails.

"Now, where's the corpse? It'd be a real pain if it's all ash now," Gojo muttered as he descended to the ground. His six eyes scanned the crater with casual precision, searching for any remains of Kakuzu—a top S-rank rogue ninja with a 200-million bounty on his head.

After all, a payday this good deserved some diligence.

"Ah, there you are!" Gojo suddenly appeared several meters away, crouching lightly on the ground. With a casual step, the earth split beneath him, revealing Kakuzu's dismembered head buried in the dirt.

"Seal." Pulling out a scroll, Gojo sealed Kakuzu's head into its unique storage space.

"Well, that's that. Time to clock out." Gojo stretched and yawned theatrically, looking every bit the overworked office worker despite barely breaking a sweat. In truth, his entire performance hadn't required more than three moves.

When he was with Team Seven, he'd often let the kids slug it out with enemies, fostering their talents. Alone? Efficiency was king. Why waste precious time fighting when he could use it to, say, rescue damsels in distress?

"Lord Cthulhu protects me, you worthless idiot!" Hidan's voice rang out as he emerged from the rubble, wielding his massive triple-bladed scythe. The gleam in his crazed eyes matched the wicked grin stretching across his face as he lunged for Gojo's neck.

For a split second, Gojo was gone, reappearing some distance away. He didn't look startled. Just... bored.

"You should've stayed down. Charging in headfirst after seeing the power gap? Brain cells must be on vacation," Gojo quipped, lightly touching his cheek, which Hidan's scythe had grazed.

"Hahaha! I can get injured a hundred times, but you? You've only got one life, fool!" Hidan cackled, licking the blood off his scythe with disturbing glee. The curse was in motion.

"You're cursed now! Time for the ritual!"

Drawing a hexagram with his blood, Hidan's skin darkened and twisted into its grotesque ceremonial pattern. His transformation complete, he plunged a sharp iron rod into his own heart with dramatic flair.

"Plop." The rod pierced through. Blood spurted. Hidan convulsed with euphoric agony.

"You're done for now, brat!" Hidan sneered, his confidence swelling to match his madness.

Gojo clutched his chest and dropped to his knees, groaning weakly. "Oh no… is this... death?"

Black Zetsu emerged from the ground, his voice dripping with astonishment. "Did Hidan actually win?"

"It looks like it," White Zetsu chimed in, bewildered.

"This guy's ridiculous ability might actually pay off," Black Zetsu muttered, a rare grin creeping onto his expressionless face. "With Gojo gone, Akatsuki's reign will—"

Mid-sentence, White Zetsu convulsed, clutching his chest. "What the…?!"

Hidan froze. The smug grin melted from his face as Gojo casually dusted himself off and stood, looking none the worse for wear. "Sorry, couldn't resist the theatrics."

"You... you're still alive?!" Hidan's voice cracked, his eyes darting toward White Zetsu's lifeless body.

"Oh, that? Just swapped my blood for his. Thought I'd play along for a bit," Gojo explained with a shrug, popping a lollipop into his mouth. "You seemed so confident; I couldn't help myself."

"YOU JERK!" Hidan roared, swinging his scythe furiously, but the blade stopped mid-air, frozen in place.

"Anyway," Gojo turned his attention to Black Zetsu, completely ignoring Hidan's tantrum. "You've been busy plotting, haven't you?"

Black Zetsu's voice turned icy. "You know too much."

"Let's see..." Gojo raised a hand, counting off with his fingers. "God Tree. Ten Tails. Infinite Tsukuyomi. Kaguya's will."

Black Zetsu's composure shattered. "Impossible! How do you know about Kaguya?!"

"Six Eyes, my guy. I see everything," Gojo replied, his grin infuriatingly smug.

Realizing further conversation was futile, Black Zetsu sank back into the ground, seething. "You'll regret this."

Gojo waved him off. "Yeah, yeah. Bring a better plan next time."

Meanwhile, Hidan was still raging. "I'LL KILL YOU!"

Gojo appeared behind him, yanking his head clean off. Holding the disembodied head by its hair, he smirked. "Can't die, huh? Let's test that theory."

With a flick of his wrist, he summoned a massive flame wave. Hidan's screams echoed as fire consumed him, leaving only ashes.

Gojo peered at the charred remains. "Still alive? Meh, who cares."

As he prepared to teleport back to the Hokage's office, a group of Mist ninjas arrived, led by none other than Terumi Mei. Her piercing gaze and commanding presence demanded attention, but Gojo's first thought was...

Wow. Legs for days.

"Why are you here?" Mei demanded.

Gojo smirked. "Ah, you know... just a handsome guy passing through. Care to join me for tea?"