Chapter 77: A Different Kind of Uncomfortable.
Siya:
All the pain and anger was gone. I felt at peace. The animosity I felt towards Mara and Bhaltair seemed no more than that of the anger I felt towards a character in a video game. As I looked down I saw I was once again wearing my old comfortable clothes. ‘My hoodie… I wonder if I'll ever be able to find something like this in the real world.’
‘The real world…’ I felt a smirk cross my face as I thought about how strange it was to say it like that.
There was no point in wondering where I was. I remembered it clearly. It was no surprise at all when I saw a grassy field surrounded by glaciers, and a white marble Gazebo overlooking the cliff's edge.
This time the boy with golden hair was sitting inside, sipping his tea peacefully. I approached him and poured a cup making myself at home. I could still see the two gates at the top of the staircase. The same two, each one leading to a different life.
“Have you changed your mind?” he asked solemnly, noticing me glancing at the gates.
“No, not yet… Although, I'm starting to wonder if revenge is a good enough reason to stay.” I slowly looked up at his slightly shocked face. I wanted to return it with a smile, but I couldn’t bring myself to do any more than meet his gaze.
He smirked, but it didn't change the sad expression that his eyes held onto. “If I’m not going to influence your choice, I can hardly try to change your reasons… I never expected you to stay the same person you were… But I do hope you can at least find peace.”
‘Peace? Peace… Have I ever truly felt that?’ My solemn eyes dropped for a moment before I stopped myself from thinking about it for too long. ‘Self-pity is a slippery slope, if I start to fall I don’t think I’ll be strong enough to pull myself out of it… Let's just focus on something else…’
I lifted my eyes back towards Agis. “When I came here last time, it was so that you could convince me to keep going and offer me a choice Why–”
“Why are you back?” He raised an eyebrow, finishing my sentence.
I nodded.
He finished sipping his tea and leaned forward, looking at his empty cup. “I felt bad I guess. You could also say I'm giving you a break, of course, I have my excuses for doing so, but ultimately that's why. You kept crying out, saying you just wanted to be alone. Even if I’m here too, I thought it was the next best thing at least.”
He sighed. “Just How many times have you gotten knocked unconscious now anyway, is that 8? That's just in recent history too. And with how much pain you're in it's impressive it's not more. Although, this time it was because you drained all of your manna”
I was listening intently but the questions I had only increased as he continued to speak. “One thing at a time,” I said, trying to give the conversation an actual focus. “You feel bad, I ran out of manna, your excuses. Let's just start with why I blacked out.” Having a frantic and quick scatterbrained train of thought myself, I was used to it, and it was easy for me to direct him.
“Right right. You ran out of manna from using your unique spell. I'll explain that first. You probably don't remember the first time we met all that clearly. That's because during that time you technically didn't have a brain to store those memories in, so it would make sense for this to be new information for you.”
He paused thinking about how best to explain everything. “In your past life, you were the best at a specific kind of game dubbed grand strategy games. The unique skill that you were born with gives you the power to effectively view real life as you would one of these games.”
“For instance, you can stop time in order to calculate and make decisions properly, you can also clearly see large-scale concepts like trade routes, and the supply and demand of certain goods. The list goes on, although those abilities aren't exactly useful to you yet.”
“I see... So when I stopped time, it was just a reflex, activating my skill, that's what drained my manna and caused me to black out. That's what also caused that nose bleeds right? You brought me here to explain that?”
“Well, to be honest, I had a feeling you would figure most of that out on your own anyway, I brought you here because I felt bad for you. The only reason you're going through all of this is because of me. I wanted to give you a break… Sorry… Bad choice of words.”
I shuddered, looking down at my arm. Since I was in a different form it was as if it had never happened, but the gruesome image was still fresh in my mind. “Don't worry about it… it's fine.”
Looking over the cliff edge, the ocean, and the vast beautiful landscape sprawled out before my eyes. “I appreciate this though… If nothing else it's good to know that you care enough to feel bad about me.”
My heart sank at the sound of my own voice saying those words. I sounded defeated, maybe even hopeless.
His expressions were easy to read. When he was worried about me I could tell, when he was sad because I was in pain, I could see that too. He was the exact opposite of Mara. I was always left doubting how she really felt, but with Agis it was obvious.
“I had a feeling you would say something like that… You might think you only put on a brave face, but you know that in itself takes a certain strength… Stay here as long as you need, your body will be resting awhile anyway, so you might as well give your spirit a relative break for a day or two.”
His soft smile warmed my heart, and seeing him worry about me only further warmed my soul. It was almost enough just seeing him and hearing his calming voice.
“Agis…” I muttered his name just so I could hear it out loud. The first person in this world to truly care about me like family and treat me warmly. His golden hair blew in the gentle warm breeze as he turned to look at me.
‘If not revenge then… Is it worth going back… Just because I don’t want to let him down?’ I felt the warmth I was feeling in my heart rise through my body to my face. “If you're not careful, I might just end up falling in love with you,” I said jokingly.
He smiled shyly and turned away. “Would that really be so bad?”
I shook my head. ‘That wasn't the response I was expecting.’
“If you're worried about age, that is a matter of perspective. Besides, once you finish your quest you'll be far older than you are now. If we're talking about the age of your soul it's actually 30 counting your past life, while the age of your spirit is even older. In truth, you've experienced enough pain for several lifetimes making your spirit even older than mine. It's not like I don't admire you either. I hand-picked you from everyone in your world after all.”
As he continued speaking before I knew it I was the one looking away shyly. “It was uh… It was supposed to be… a joke…” I muttered trying to explain I wasn’t being serious, in hopes that he would stop taking it so literally.
He smiled wryly. “Yes, and I do believe it was quite funny. However, I was the one that got you in the end. Your expression really is quite cute.”
I gritted my teeth, trying not to let it show how embarrassed I was at hearing those words.
I let out a sharp breath of air. “You… got me…?” His semi childlike nature was one of the things that made me feel so calm and at ease around him. It was a feeling not even my old parents could truely give me.
In those moments I completely forgot about the state my body was in, feeling completely at peace, albeit a little embaressed. “It was still nice too here… Even if you didn’t mean it…”