Kiss the Ground

Chahyun slowly placed his hand on the adhesive part of the envelope. The material was a bit tough, but with some force, it tore open without difficulty. As he unfolded and peered inside, he saw a bundle of thick papers. Could it be a fan letter?Although he had never publicly disclosed his address, there had been interviews and broadcasts featuring his home, so fans sometimes managed to find his address and send letters or postcards.After a moment of hesitation, Chahyun flipped the envelope on the table to empty its contents.“…What is this?”Upon seeing a scattered bundle of film-like sheets, only the size of a palm, Chahyun inhaled sharply. The roughly 20 sheets of paper were all pictures of Yoon Chahyun, all taken within the past week.Chahyun pushed each overlapping photo with his fingers. In every picture, Yoon Chahyun wasn’t looking directly at the camera. It seemed like they were all candid shots.There were pictures of him leaving his house in the morning to go to the club, arriving at the center and getting out of the car, sitting on an outdoor ground chatting with teammates, practicing dribbling, doing running exercises, and even a photo of him entering his home with Misha on a dark night.Feeling suffocated, Chahyun reached out to the last photo placed upside down. Under the bright lighting on the table, the photo revealed its front side.It was a picture of Chahyun having dinner with Ilya three hours ago.***“Of course, you should report it!”A voice resembling a loud scream echoed through the phone. The previously gentle voice now rang sharply in his ears, forcing Chahyun to pull his hand away from the phone.“Still… do you really think so? Th-”“He’s a stalker.”Interrupted by the sharp assertion, Chahyun fell silent. The person on the other end of the phone seemed ready to rush to Chahyun’s location at any moment. If he wasn’t currently stuck at the stadium covering another club’s match in Southampton, it would have undoubtedly been the case.When Chahyun discovered the pictures taken of him in the envelope last night, he was undoubtedly surprised—very surprised. He spent about two hours sitting at the dining table, staring at the photos, lost in thought.From a young age, Chahyun began to showcase his talents, receiving much expectation and praise. However, at the same time, he also faced an equal amount of criticism and humiliation. The amount of positive and negative attention poured onto Chahyun was precisely proportional. There were countless unfounded rumors that circulated about him. Statements he never made were fabricated, and rumors of romantic involvement with idols or actors he had never actually met would erupt and spread easily. Despite wishing that people would talk to him first before making judgments, Chahyun in the news was often portrayed as a Casanova of the century.However, what he experienced now was a first in his life. While looking at about twenty photos, Chahyun could recall the conversations he had and the people he was with at the time, as well as the approximate timing. However, the Yoon Chahyun in those moments had not noticed someone capturing him on camera.How could one imagine that someone might secretly invade their ordinary daily life with a camera? Especially chasing them to the dinner table just a few hours ago to take pictures.Could it be a really passionate fan? Someone who liked Yoon Chahyun so much that they wanted to capture every aspect of his life on camera?The more he thought about it, the more the uneasiness disappeared, leaving only questions.As Yoon Chahyun pondered, he belatedly thought of Ilya. Caught in the same frame unintentionally due to sharing a meal, he was the only person caught in the same picture. While there was a sense of obligation to inform him since they were in the same photo, the need for someone who could provide help and advice was even greater.As soon as it was bright outside, Yoon Chahyun called Ilya to explain the situation. From the discovery of the envelope with photos to the contents and the slightly uneasy opinion of Yoon Chahyun himself, he shared everything.And so began this harsh reprimand.“Mr. Chahyun. A true fan would frame the player’s photos, not engage in perverted behavior like secretly delivering them to the subject, let alone leaving them at the front door. That falls into the realm of criminal activity, not fan sentiment.”“That’s true. Honestly, I was too overwhelmed…”“You said all the pictures were taken from a distance, right?”“Yes.”“No pictures taken inside the club or inside your house?”Chahyun shuddered at Ilya’s words.“There was absolutely nothing like that…”Fortunately, infiltrating the center, which thoroughly checks the identity of individuals, was a challenging task for outsiders, and Chahyun’s home was guarded by a gentle 40kg dog, only friendly to the owner and the owner’s friends.“Please send me the photos you took of me. Even if it’s just one arm, I’ll have it as evidence.”“Oh, sure. I’ll send them right away.”After Chahyun’s response, Ilya seemed to add something, but before anything significant could be heard, a huge roar echoed from the other end of the phone, and the call was abruptly cut off. It seemed like some team scored, or so it appeared.Ilya quickly took photos of the ones he appeared in and sent them via his phone. Chahyun fell into brief contemplation.He had to report it. Ilya was right. While being a somewhat famous figure meant unknowingly falling victim to paparazzi shots, having someone find out your home address and leave photos at the front door was not a common occurrence.However, Yoon Chahyun wanted to hear the opinion of someone familiar before taking any action. Just one more friend who could openly discuss such matters. There was only one face that came to mind. Putting his phone in his back pocket, Chahyun left the house.***However, the atmosphere in the club, with the open training day just around the corner, was far from being relaxed. The coaching team, support team, and medical team were all busy with their respective tasks. Even Alois, in the corner, was seriously doing Cossack squats, signifying that everyone was fully engaged.Given the situation, it wasn’t easy to grab Jude and explain the circumstances. While everyone was focused on preparing for the upcoming event and match, Yoon Chahyun was lost in thoughts on a completely different level.Until he went outside for running after finishing indoor training, Yoon Chahyun tried several times to find an opportunity to confide in Jude. However, every attempt failed. Jude was the first to break the silence, noticing Chahyun’s odd behavior.“Why are you acting like this today? You seem like a beaver that’s been kicked out of its home.”“….”Jude frowned, looking at Chahyun with a very suspicious expression. As Chahyun carefully chose his words in response to the sudden topic, Jude spoke first.“Is it because of the open training? Worried about making mistakes?”“What?”Jude, noticing Chahyun’s different expression, lowered his voice seriously.“It’s really just two days away now. After that, it’s straight to the round of 16. We had about a month after the Umberti match, and already…”“Yeah.”As Chahyun awkwardly agreed, Jude continued.“Everyone worked really hard during that month. It’s the round of 16 after several years. You don’t know how hard everyone is preparing for this. If we lose this time, it’s season over again.”“Did you see the coaches’ expressions? Everyone’s been busy with their tasks, even in the corridor where they’re standing.”How meticulously Winchester FC had prepared for this season was something Yoon Chahyun knew best. “The toothless tiger, the faded powerhouse” – that was the label Winchester FC carried until before Yoon Chahyun transferred. The fans, who had high expectations for him during his time playing in leagues across various countries, expressed their disappointment that he ended up choosing Winchester United FC out of all the many clubs.Yet, Yoon Chahyun’s mindset was different. A somewhat arrogant ambition to help reclaim a forgotten throne motivated him. This drive led him to reject numerous love calls from other big clubs and choose Winchester FC.Now, that goal was right in front of him. It was no longer just Yoon Chahyun’s personal goal but a concrete hope for all the club members.Chahyun recalled the photos he had seen. They seemed to be taken by someone from a distant place, not someone close to Yoon Chahyun. Some were taken from near the window or around the training ground, and there were even photos taken from a very far distance, where only Yoon Chahyun’s fingernails were visible.Regardless of the distance, it was enough to disrupt the current flow of the club. Extreme as it may seem, this incident could be aimed at all Winchester FC players, and Yoon Chahyun’s case might just be the starting point of that threat. The club prioritized the safety of its players, and if Yoon Chahyun were to reveal his situation, it was clear that the open training would be canceled. Considering the potential risk of putting players in danger during a crowded event, it was a decision they would likely make.As these thoughts crossed his mind, Yoon Chahyun found it impossible to speak. He didn’t want to jeopardize everything the club had prepared for with just his own situation. There was no guarantee that this sudden schedule change wouldn’t affect the upcoming main match. He also didn’t want to disappoint the Winchester United fans who had been supporting the club tirelessly for years.Seeing Yoon Chahyun silent and expressionless, Jude sympathetically placed his hand on his shoulder.“Yuan, I know your condition hasn’t fully recovered. I’m aware that you’re quite concerned about that.”“Yeah.”“You said it in the interview too. Football is not played alone. You’ll never have to stand alone on the field, so don’t be too nervous. Slumps happen, and it might take months, but suddenly breaking out in one game is normal.”“….”“Besides, how much does Blue rely on you? Do you think he’d exclude you from the starting lineup? There’s no need for unnecessary worries.”“If we lose the game, Blue will cry.”“He might faint. We should prepare for the next season at St. Bartholomew Hospital.”Jude chuckled while making jokes that seemed almost too sincere. Thinking of Blue, Chahyun solidified his resolve a bit more.Now wasn’t the time to talk about it.Minimizing the significance of what he had experienced and not overly optimistic about it weren’t dismissals of the situation. However, the fact that most of the photos were taken from a very distant place did slightly ease Chahyun’s wariness. Maybe it would be okay to postpone discussing it until the important event was over.It was just two days. Even if they waited until the end of the open training to take action, there wouldn’t likely be any immediate consequences. Chahyun took Jude’s hand off his shoulder. His concern had reached a corner of Chahyun’s heart.***The last training session before the event ended smoothly. Moving his body, Yoon Chahyun could momentarily forget the uneasy feeling.Instead of participating in the practice match, Chahyun chose to do individual training. He worried that if he made a mistake in a team practice, it might affect tomorrow’s main match. Would he really be able to regain his feel during the main event, just as Jude suggested?While it wasn’t an extremely rare occurrence, the fact that Chahyun had already messed up one game weighed on him. Still, would he be able to find his rhythm in the main event, just as Jude had suggested?Standing in front of the locker, Chahyun changed his clothes, and his teammates offered words of encouragement from behind. Responding to their greetings, Chahyun walked towards the drink bar installed in a corner of the locker room. It was provided for the players to freely use right after their exercises.When turning the corner, Inyoung appeared in front of him. It was Captain Cahill.“Cahill, hello.”“Yuan. How was training?”“Just finished. Are you heading home now too?”“Yeah.”Cahill, who seemed a bit surprised by Yoon Chahyun’s sudden appearance, quickly returned to his usual expression and greeted Chahyun with a nod. His thick eyebrows, almost monastic, remained as distinctive as ever.“It’s your first game after recovery, so there must be a lot to prepare. Is your ankle feeling okay now?”“If I combine rehabilitation with training, there shouldn’t be a problem for the match.”“That’s good! Are you planning to score multiple goals this time?”With a deliberately teasing remark from Chahyun, Cahill subtly raised the corners of his mouth. Chahyun felt proud for no reason. Indeed, dealing with him, whose default was a personality as guarded as Misha’s during the early days of his enlistment, was better done with a bit of exaggeration.While talking with Cahill about the game, something suddenly flashed through Chahyun’s mind. It was a very uncomfortable memory that he had been forgetting until now. Looking at Chahyun’s face, which crumpled like a dried persimmon for a moment, Cahill looked puzzled.“Why are you like that?”“Cahill… I have a favor to ask.”Chahyun turned around and brought a few sheets of printing paper and a pen with zombie-like steps.“Can you sign this for me?”“Huh?”“My sister… she wants your autograph.”Cahill made a puzzled face, which didn’t match his tough facial features. It made sense for players on the same team to bring paper and ask for autographs, but Chahyun couldn’t lift his hand to offer the pen. Ignoring the advice he received from his mother during his last return home could lead to unpredictable consequences.Yoon Chahyun’s mother said she hoped both her children would continue the legacy of athletes by adding the ‘Cha’ character to their names. Yoon Chahyun and Yoon Chana… They might not have known, but it was probably meant to convey the idea of kicking a ball, although in reality, only the older brother, Yoon Chahyun, had an interest in kicking a ball, while his younger sister, more focused on academics than sports, only kicked her brother’s butt.Seeing his younger brother, with whom he grew up, indifferent to any achievement made in a distant land, Chahyun thought, “This kid really has no interest in soccer.” However, that thought completely went awry last season when his brother became fascinated with the pre-injury Cahill. His brother even went so far as to purchase a Winchester FC uniform, not number 12, but number 7, with Cahill’s marking.It was a severe betrayal. However, using his own disappointment as an excuse to refuse the request wasn’t an option, as the kid’s kicking ability was too strong.“There’s nothing I can’t do.”Cahill, who hesitated for a moment, accepted the crumpled paper in Chahyun’s hand. The subtle, amused laughter hidden in his voice was something only Chahyun standing right in front of him could notice. Chahyun’s pride was being crumpled even more deeply than the paper.***The day before the Open Training Day had no schedule. Since there were occasionally absurd cases of players getting injured just before the event, claiming it was a rehearsal, the club staff were mostly wandering around, moving protective gear, filming equipment, and such. While it was an individual freedom for players to stamp their footprints, despite the always bustling center, it was surprisingly quiet, like a World Cup season where all players had returned to their national teams.On this rare holiday, Yoon Chahyun came to the center because he forgot to bring his soccer shoes yesterday while returning home. The shoes, bought less than three days ago, had been taken off during training, but there were still places that needed fixing. For the remaining day, Chahyun planned to calmly dismantle and fix his shoes at home. However, due to his forgetfulness, the plan was completely forgotten, and everything went out of order.“My shoes…”Chahyun entered the locker room, swaying like a tipsy uncle. His gaze, checking the empty bench, naturally turned towards his own locker. The club took care of cleaning and managing players’ uniforms, sportswear, stockings, sneakers, etc. After using them, if you put them in your personal collection box, the staff would collect them, and the next morning, the cleaned items would be placed in the locker.On Chahyun’s shelf, as always, a pair of football shoes had transformed like new. After rolling on natural grass, shoes were usually prone to becoming dirty with green turf, but the way they were washed was mysteriously exquisite. Chahyun checked the soles and insides here and there.“Yuan.”“Shoot!”Chahyun’s knees buckled at the sudden call from right behind him. Hearing a voice out of nowhere was quite unsettling. The freshly washed soccer shoes fell mercilessly to the ground.“Are you okay?”“…How long have you been standing there?”“Since you started singing weird songs.”So, he has been here all along. Misha, who had been standing quietly in the locker room like a spirit, looked somewhat unfairly surprised at the unexpected incident.“I was more surprised. I thought I was the only one at the center today.”“Me too…”Chahyun straightened up his disheveled posture. Although they were casually conversing due to being equally startled, there was a hint of awkwardness in dealing with Misha. Encountering someone who had rejected his confession always felt like this.“Are you here to get your soccer shoes?”“Um… and you?”“I’m…”Misha raised what he was holding in his hand in front of Chahyun.“It’s because of this.”It was the training suit that he had borrowed from Yoon Chahyun’s house that morning. The neatly folded clothes were in pristine condition, with no trace of fur. Chahyun felt a little dazed as he had forgotten about lending them.“Oh, this… I just left it there.”“That’s why I came now. Just to leave it there. I know it’s hard for you to talk to me.”“It’s not that…”Chahyun paused before saying more. It was not in Chahyun’s nature to rudely demand affection from someone who harbored unrequited feelings. But leaving his words half-unsaid, implying an uncertain possibility, seemed equally cruel.The words Chahyun spoke to Misha in the car that morning, though sugar-coated, ultimately contained a simple and blunt message to give up. Adding any more unnecessary words would be performing and hoping for something beyond meaningless.“All right. I’ll leave as soon as you take it. Don’t worry; I won’t bring up anything else.”Yoon Chahyun was stoic, and Misha’s voice was dry. Chahyun hadn’t anticipated such a profound hurt from Misha’s rejection, but hearing him speak so indifferently was beyond his imagination.In the unfamiliar, hardened tone of Misha’s voice, Chahyun felt a strange mood. Recently, every time he heard Misha’s voice, it was affectionate and kind, always imbued with a tenderness seeking Chahyun’s heart. However, now, facing Misha’s indifference, Chahyun’s feelings were mixed.Chahyun slowly raised his hand to accept the clothes Misha handed him. Despite the familiar fabric, it felt strangely unfamiliar. As the clothes moved from Misha’s hands to Chahyun’s, just as Misha had said, he turned away without a trace of lingering attachment.While watching Misha’s retreating figure, Chahyun was reminded of a photo of Yoon Chahyun supporting Misha. The way Misha’s back seemed to carry the weight of Yoon Chahyun’s entire body was oddly similar now. The person who had unfortunately become an extra in a joke aimed at Yoon Chahyun was not just Ilya.Should he reveal the fact that an unidentified person is lurking around him now? Calling Misha’s name, Chahyun first tried to see his reaction. The Misha who had unknowingly approached the exit of the locker room turned to look at Chahyun.Yoon Chahyun couldn’t guess what kind of reaction he would get. Misha might be shocked, confused, express displeasure, or even demand an immediate report like someone else.However, the current Misha seemed somehow indifferent, as if what was happening had nothing to do with him. After everything was over, it seemed like he would say it didn’t matter what happened now, that Chahyun hadn’t pushed him away, and that it wasn’t something he cared about. This strange imagination silenced Yoon Chahyun’s mouth.Misha patiently waited for his words. After hesitating for a while, Chahyun slowly spoke.“Let’s do well together at the open training.”Yoon Chahyun couldn’t predict what kind of reaction Misha would have. He might be astonished, puzzled, express resentment like someone else, or even demand an immediate report.However, the current Misha somehow seemed to consider it something unrelated to himself. As everything was over, he seemed to say that it didn’t matter what happened now, that it wasn’t something he cared about since Chahyun hadn’t pushed him away. This strange imagination sealed Yoon Chahyun’s lips.Misha was waiting for his words with patience. After hesitating for a while, Chahyun slowly spoke.“Let’s do well together at the open training.”Misha remained silent, giving no response. Without saying anything, he activated the sensor and opened the door. Just before disappearing beyond the door, he turned his head to glance at Chahyun.Don’t pretend to care. That gaze seemed to say exactly that.***Arriving home, Chahyun stood in front of the entrance. Since the incident that occurred just the day before, he had been checking underneath every time he grabbed the doorknob, but there had been nothing wedged in the door crack since then. Chahyun deliberately opened the door with force, making a noise as he entered the house.Since he returned early in the afternoon and had some free time, he planned to take Hong Sam for a longer walk today than usual. Not only because he couldn’t leisurely play with Hong Sam after returning from Korea due to the A match, but also because he wanted to forget the strange feeling that remained after encountering Misha. Hong Sam, as if understanding Chahyun’s thoughts, wagged his tail more vigorously than usual.Walking a large dog required a lot of effort. As Chahyun took out the leash from Hong Sam’s dedicated drawer, the phone he had thrown onto the sofa rang softly. The only time the alarm was set was when a family member contacted him. Thinking it might be a message from his parents, Yoon Chahyun approached and picked up the phone.▶ [Did you sign?]It was his younger sibling. Yoon Chahyun tapped the screen with a lifeless face.▷ [Did]▶ [Btw, is he okay?]▷ [What’s wrong]▶ [Cahill got injuredㅠ]▷ [He’s perfectly fine]▶ [OOT, I also want to goㅠㅜㅠYooㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ]▶ [no…]▶ [Cahillㅠㅠ]It was the first contact in almost three weeks, and it turned out to be like this… Yoon Chahyun had nothing to say.▷ [Watch it on the internet live]▶ [Are they broadcasting???]▷ [Yeah, tomorrow morning at 10 a.m.]After reading Chahyun’s message, the younger sibling didn’t respond. Could they just contact him and throw away the bait like this? Even though they probably wouldn’t come because of school, why did they want the ticket so much? What’s the point of wanting something that’s 100% distributed by lottery? Yoon Chahyun silently tucked his phone into the back pocket.