Kiss Me if You Can

If he could just take this man to bed right now, kiss him all night long, and have sex with him—

It was such an overwhelming temptation. So much so that he almost acted on it.
Chase’s bloodshot eyes were faintly moist. He looked disturbed and humiliated by the situation. Maybe he was even in a state of panic. At the very least, he was clearly unsettled.
Of course he would be, having just ejaculated from someone else's hand while lying in the garden.

The twisted expression on his face was filled with unmistakable self-loathing. He couldn’t hide the look of shame and disgust at himself. When Josh saw him bite his lip and shut his eyes in that state, breathing raggedly, he felt guilty for desiring him.
He held back the boiling lust and instead leaned over him with gentlemanly grace. A soft, quick peck—though, of course, not on the lips. Just like he did with Emma or Pete, Josh kissed Chase’s forehead gently, then smiled down at him as Chase blinked up in dazed confusion.
“It’s okay.”

At the quiet whisper, Chase could only stare at him blankly. Josh kissed his cheek this time.
There was a faint, unfamiliar taste. He hadn’t meant to, but he realized a moment too late that a trace of Chase’s semen had touched his lips. It wasn’t enough to tell exactly what it tasted like, though.
With a strange sense of regret, Josh smiled at Chase again. Chase just blinked, showing no reaction. Maybe he’d gone into another panic.

Josh forced himself to snap back to reality and straightened up. Then he did what he should’ve done from the start. He took a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped the semen from Chase’s face. It was a good thing raising Pete had made him get in the habit of always carrying one. Using the clean cloth, Josh carefully cleaned off Chase’s face.
Naturally, Chase didn’t move. Josh silently continued, wiping at the cum that had gotten on his clothes. But as he looked down, he caught sight of Chase’s cock still standing upright—still hard, as if one orgasm hadn’t been enough.
“I said that’s enough.”

Chase spoke immediately when Josh reached toward him again. His usual irritable tone was now hoarse and worn out. His cock was still hard, but the worst seemed to have passed. Given some time, it would probably go down on its own, so long as it wasn’t stimulated again. Josh replied casually.
“I’m just trying to clean you. You’ll need to get dressed.”
And with that, he grabbed Chase’s cock again—this time with no tenderness, just cold detachment. Nothing like the delicate touch from before. It was the only way he could keep himself from losing control. He wrapped the handkerchief around the cock and roughly wiped it off. It wasn’t what he wanted to do, but for once, Josh had no choice but to really look at Chase’s cock.

Fucking hell, why is even this guy’s dick so damn pretty?
He couldn’t stop himself from muttering in admiration. The girth and length were impressive, straight with no curve, and the still-wet, pink head was flawless.
Well, you can’t tan that area, so of course it’s perfect.

Still, Josh couldn’t stop himself from wanting to take it in his mouth. Normally, the thought of putting a man’s cock in his mouth would disgust him—but this one was the exception. He couldn’t forget the feeling that lingered on his thumb. It was just too tempting, too firm—and somehow, lovely.
But that was something he absolutely couldn’t do. Chase hadn’t given him permission for that, and Josh didn’t have the guts to deal with the consequences. After silently finishing the cleanup, Josh lay down on the grass too—just like Chase.
After a while, Chase slowly lifted his eyelids. He turned his gaze, and their eyes met. Neither of them moved.
Chase’s deep violet eyes, filled with the night sky, shimmered like distant starlight. The sharp bridge of his nose and his slightly parted red lips were all clearly visible in Josh’s line of sight.

Josh suddenly thought—
How could anyone not kiss that beautiful face?
He raised a hand and gently stroked Chase’s cheek, but Chase didn’t move. Still locked into Chase’s violet gaze, Josh lifted his upper body.

His intention was clear. Chase could have easily avoided him. He could have cursed at him or thrown a punch like usual.
But he did nothing. He just watched as Josh’s calm, handsome face approached.
Josh’s eyelids slowly lowered. Gold lashes mixed with brown, the same shade as his hair, entered Chase’s vision. When Josh thought he’d like to kiss Chase’s eyelid, his breath brushed across Chase’s lips.

But just then, an unexpected sound of footsteps threw them both back into reality. Josh immediately sprang to his feet. The reflexes were so sharp that Chase was left dumbfounded. Without sparing Chase a glance, Josh stared intently toward the source of the sound, then shouted.
“Mark, what is it?”
A familiar voice called back almost immediately.

“Oh, Josh. So this is where you were! We’ve been looking everywhere for you! No one was picking up—where’d you go? What about Isaac and Henry?”
At the urgent question, Josh stepped forward to block his line of sight from Chase and responded.
“I haven’t seen them. What’s going on?”

“We lost sight of C. You didn’t happen to see him, did you?”
“Oh.”
Josh nodded.

“Don’t worry. He said he was stepping out for a smoke, so I followed at a distance like he asked. I was just keeping watch.”
“I see. What was that message you sent earlier?”
“Oh, I had a quick question, but I figured it out. Nothing to worry about.”

The lie rolled off his tongue so smoothly, even he was impressed. Mark believed it without question and nodded.
“Mr. Pitman had to leave for an emergency. He told the remaining guests to enjoy themselves and head out when they’re ready. Should I ask you to check with C?”
He clearly hoped Josh would. Josh nodded without hesitation.

“Understood. I’ll check with him and contact you shortly.”
He gestured for Mark to go ahead instead of telling him directly. Mark quickly left.
Josh stayed put for a moment, scanning the area. Finally, he exhaled deeply and relaxed his tense shoulders. When he returned, Chase was still lying in the same spot—not even a finger had moved.

Josh hesitated. The timing earlier had been so close. If only he could kiss those lips again.
But Chase didn’t give him the chance. As if snapping back to himself, he suddenly sat up. This time, Josh was the one caught off guard. Chase casually brushed off his head and clothes. Josh stood awkwardly, feeling out of place.
Honestly, it was a miracle Chase wasn’t hitting him right now. Knowing his usual temper, he would’ve exploded over something Josh hadn’t even been asked to do. Even if he’d given permission earlier, if he was in a different mood now, he could easily use that as an excuse to lash out. The moment Josh realized Chase had nearly been kissed without consent, a chill ran down his spine.

I almost died just now.
The realization that this man could’ve genuinely killed him made Josh snap back to reality. But even though he’d grounded himself, he still couldn’t take his eyes off Chase.
There was still a faint flush on Chase’s cheeks. Even the post-orgasmic daze in his expression was enough to drive Josh crazy.

His lower half, which he’d managed to settle, began to stir again. Flustered, Josh took deep breaths and forced [N O V E L I G H T] his gaze elsewhere. He swallowed down the rough breath pressing at his lips—but then, suddenly, Chase turned his head.
It was just a sideways glance, but Josh’s heart nearly stopped.
Thankfully, it didn’t come to needing CPR. Chase simply turned and started walking away. Josh hurried after him, a memory flashing in his mind.

“If you’re heading back now, I’ll have the car prepared.”
“Do it.”
Chase spat the words out tersely. As he started walking with wide strides, Josh contacted Mark. After passing on the message, he followed Chase again, and the whole incident already felt like some strange dream.

But it wasn’t a dream. The handkerchief in his pocket—used to wipe Chase’s semen—was undeniable proof. It had already started to stiffen slightly, the texture rough to the touch.
Absentmindedly, Josh clenched the handkerchief, then slowly opened his hand.
Maybe I did it just because I wanted to.

He thought again.
Maybe I said all those things just to manipulate him because I wanted it.
Chase didn’t look back once as he walked on. His profile was cold and unreadable, completely different from the twisted expression he wore earlier when struggling to hold back. Josh suddenly wanted to see that face again.

“Mr. Miller.”
They had already returned to the mansion. A butler from Pitman’s household spotted Chase and called out, but Chase walked right past him.
He really looked like a charging rhino, eyes locked straight ahead.

“Mr. Miller, please wait a moment!”
Josh chased after him and called out. Still, Chase kept walking briskly, so Josh had to run ahead and block him.
“Once the car is ready, you can leave right away. It won’t take long.”

Chase finally stopped and looked down at him. His breathing was just as ragged as Josh’s.
“What the fuck am I waiting for, asshole.”
Chase growled, grinding his teeth. Josh hurried to amend his mistake.

“They’re just finishing up. I just need to confirm—it’ll only take a second. Is that alright?”
Haa… haa…
Even though Chase covered his mouth with one hand, the heavy breathing couldn’t be hidden. Seeing his eyes trembling with panic, Josh continued.

“I’ll check right now. In the meantime, please try to catch your breath.”
Chase frowned. Though the excitement hadn’t fully faded, Josh’s voice somehow reached him clearly through the haze.
This fucking bastard… Who does he think he’s fooling?

That’s what he thought—but he didn’t say it. Seeing his reaction, Josh relaxed a little and grabbed Chase’s arm, then let it go just as quickly, as if to say he could be trusted. Chase blinked in disbelief.
“You fucking bastard, who said you could touch—!”
He gritted his teeth, but it was too late. Josh was already speaking to Mark, informing him of the situation. Chase glared with a furrowed brow as Josh finished the call and turned back to him.

“It’s ready. Let’s go.”
Chase flinched and stepped back. Josh tilted his head, puzzled. Chase didn’t even know why he’d done it. His condition was such a mess that even he was aware of it. Running a trembling hand through his hair, he thought—
If I don’t get out of here now, something really might happen.

“Mr. Miller, are you not feeling well again?”
Josh asked. His concern seemed genuine as he looked up at Chase seriously. But Chase had no intention of answering honestly. He rubbed his bloodshot eyes irritably and snapped.
“Shut up. Just lead the way already. What the fuck do you think you can do, you damn piece of shit.”

“…Understood.”
Josh said nothing more and started walking down the long hallway with wide strides. Chase forced himself to match the pace, trying to regulate his increasingly erratic breathing.
When they finally passed through the annoyingly massive mansion entrance and stepped outside again, Chase thought—finally, I can leave this fucking place.

That brief relief left him vulnerable, and so when he heard an unexpected sound, his eyes widened in shock.
“Mr. Miller?”
Josh called out to him again. But the sound that reached Chase’s ears was something else.

No way. It couldn’t be.
Even as he doubted it, Chase stood frozen in place. Cold sweat trickled down his back. He questioned his own hearing—until a sharp, mocking bark rang out from somewhere.
“…!”

Chase’s entire body stiffened. Pale and rooted to the spot, it took several seconds before he could breathe again. But the fear trembling in his eyes was impossible to hide.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Did we startle you?”
A Pitman security guard approached and apologized.

“Because of the party, we released a few guard dogs. We couldn’t risk paparazzi or unwanted guests sneaking in and disturbing the guests. They’re well trained, so there’s nothing to worry about—they won’t attack easily or anything… Mr. Miller? Are you alright?”
The guard called Chase’s name again with a note of concern. Only then did Chase flinch and snap out of it. The barking continued somewhere nearby, but the dogs themselves were nowhere to be seen.
After glancing around, Chase swept his hair back with a trembling hand and let out a short sigh, like he was trying to force air through a blocked throat.

Suddenly, a wave of dizziness hit him. He shut his eyes and tilted his head back. For a moment, he stood still, waiting for the spinning to stop. Then, moving slower than before, as if all strength had drained from him, he finally began to move again.
Josh, already waiting with the rear car door open, paused when Chase slumped into the seat and leaned his head against the window with his eyes closed.
As he stood there watching, Chase’s breathing grew unsteady again, and a flush returned to his pale cheeks. Josh furrowed his brow.

“Mr. Miller, are you alright?”
He asked, though he wasn’t in any condition to be worried about someone else. He’d been about to collapse himself for a while now, overwhelmed by the steady flood of Chase’s pheromones. They needed to return immediately, but Isaac and Henry still hadn’t turned up.
Looking suffocated, Chase yanked his bowtie off roughly. When he began tearing open the buttons of his shirt, Josh quickly stepped back from the car. Chase didn’t even glance at his reaction, instead yanking open the small fridge in the car and pulling something out.

He dumped the pills from a small container into his mouth and gulped water down. At that moment, a familiar voice rang out from behind.
“What the hell is going on? You bastards.”
Mark, cursing under his breath, appeared, glancing around. Josh tore his gaze from Chase and bit back his heavy breaths, popping two candies into his mouth and crunching down hard. Mark was pulling out his phone again, but then Isaac appeared—just in time.

“Sorry. Something came up for a moment.”
At Isaac’s apology, Mark shifted his gaze to Henry, who had followed behind.
“Something came up for both of you at the same time?”

Isaac looked awkward but didn’t say anything. Henry was the same. Mark let out a groan of frustration, then barked in a low voice.
“We’ll talk when we get back. You two better be ready for hell.”
Leaving during a mission—there was no excuse for that. Josh felt they deserved whatever punishment they got, even suspension or worse.

But still, Isaac and Henry remained silent. Their lack of any excuse annoyed Josh, but now wasn’t the time. And Chase’s condition clearly wasn’t good either. Mark must’ve sensed that as well.
“Everyone move. Let’s go.”
There was no time to find the secretary, so Mark called Laura himself and told her to return separately. Then he headed for the driver’s seat of the lead car.

Josh instinctively got into the driver’s seat of the second car—then instantly regretted it. But by the time he considered switching, Isaac had already taken the passenger seat. With no time to switch again, and Henry already in the first car, Josh had no choice but to start driving.
He fixed his gaze straight ahead and just kept driving. Silence filled the car, but Josh didn’t break it. It was Isaac who finally spoke.
“Why do you reek of pheromones?”

The unexpected question made Josh glance at him, then quickly back at the road.
“What are you talking about?”
He denied it reflexively, though he knew exactly what Isaac meant. His thighs had been damp and uncomfortable ever since earlier. He was on the verge of losing it. Isaac, face serious, continued.

“It smells like C’s pheromones… They’re all over you. What happened? Did something happen while I was gone?”
His voice was full of worry. Josh, nerves fraying, replied sharply.
“If you were that worried, you shouldn’t have left.”

Isaac flinched. Josh had no intention of apologizing—he’d only said the truth. Instead, he rolled the window down. A rush of wind blasted into the car, and he felt like it helped sweep away some of the pheromones clinging to him. After a moment of hesitation, Isaac spoke.
“I was coming right back… I’m sorry.”
“…”

“I didn’t think you’d run into C.”
Josh couldn’t read the meaning behind the words and responded vaguely.
“I just happened to be nearby.”

“…You smell like C all over.”
Isaac muttered again. Josh replied with feigned indifference.
“I’ll go shower.”

The lead car was driving too slowly, making Josh antsy. He forced his fingers to stay still on the wheel, suppressing the urge to drum them against it. Outwardly calm, his mind was racing with thoughts of the suppressants he had stashed away.
The silence turned awkward. Worried he might show how uneasy he was, Josh spoke first.
“You two are going to get chewed out by Mark.”

“Yeah.”
Isaac replied.
“Probably.”

But his voice remained detached. Josh’s mind, meanwhile, was consumed by thoughts of the suppressants. He said nothing more, and Isaac didn’t either.
As soon as they got out of the car, Isaac was dragged off by Mark. Henry too. Seth, who had been guarding the mansion, gave Josh a questioning look, but there was no time to explain.
Josh didn’t even remember how he got to his room. He’d been holding out somehow, but he’d reached his limit. As soon as he shut the door behind him, his breath caught in his throat, and heat rushed through his whole body. He tore open his bag, grabbed the suppressants he’d hidden deep inside, and nearly stumbled into the bathroom.

Every breath felt like Chase’s pheromones were crawling into his lungs through his skin. His mind blurred, clarity slipping away by the second. His mouth went dry. He turned on the faucet in a panic. Before the water could even gather in his palm, he shoved his mouth under and drank furiously. But the heat wouldn’t subside. He tossed the pills into his mouth immediately.
When had his cycle been?
His temples pounded painfully. He tried to recall, but the memory was hazy. If Chase’s pheromones had triggered an early cycle, it would be a disaster. Just like that night.

He hadn’t expected to get hit with Chase’s pheromones so suddenly.
Desperate for the pills to kick in, Josh stripped quickly. He had to wash the pheromones off. If not, he’d end up going out, looking for someone to spend the night with. That was absolutely unacceptable.
He turned on the shower and slumped to the floor. The cold water poured over his body, and the shock made him shiver—but it was better that way.

The cool helped him regain a sliver of clarity. With a shaky breath, Josh suddenly realized—
He wasn’t alone in the room.
“…?”

He slowly lifted his gaze—and froze.
Through the open door, a man with wide, startled eyes stood staring down at him.
It was Seth.

“…”
“…”
They both said nothing for a while. Josh, panting, just stared up at him. A thousand words floated through his head, but not a single useful one formed.

Seth was the first to recover. After blinking a few times, he opened his mouth—but it still took him another moment before any sound came out.
“Ah, um… I was going to ask what happened at the party…”
No matter how dramatic the incident had been, it couldn’t have been more shocking than what he was seeing now. His face said it all. Josh managed to swallow the spit pooling in his mouth. The swallow echoed loudly in the silence. Seth cleared his throat.

“You okay? Should I tell Mark you’re not feeling well and need to rest?”
“Why? I just have a bit of a headache.”
Josh tried to feign ignorance, startled by how hoarse his voice sounded. But Seth responded as always—calm and to the point.

“You’re reeking of pheromones.”
Josh froze. Seth looked down at his expressionless face and continued nonchalantly.
“Did something happen? You usually don’t give off any. Did you skip your meds? Or is it your cycle? If it is, I can’t really help, so I’ll sleep elsewhere.”

He was calmly listing options like it was just another procedure. Josh blinked, caught off guard, and swallowed again. This time his throat was dry—there was nothing to swallow. Mind tangled in panic, Josh couldn’t speak. Seth stepped in for him.
“I saw the meds in your bag, by chance.”
“…When?”

Josh finally managed to get the words out. Seth furrowed his brow, trying to remember.
“Three, maybe four years ago?”
That long?

Josh was stunned, mouth hanging open. As he stood there dumbly, Seth continued.
“I didn’t see the need to tell you I knew. Just like you never felt the need to tell me you knew I’m an Alpha.”
He was talking more than usual—but he wasn’t wrong. Still, it didn’t make the shock any less.

Josh struggled to pull himself together and spoke.
“Besides you… does anyone else know?”
Had all his efforts been pointless? Did everyone know already?

If so, how ridiculous had he been acting all this time?
As a creeping sense of defeat filled him, Seth said,
“Just me. Don’t worry.”

“How can you be sure?”
To Josh’s suspicious question, Seth answered without hesitation.
“If Mark knew, he wouldn’t have brought you here. He’d be more selective about assignments. Isaac’s too dense—he definitely doesn’t know. And Henry…”

Seth shrugged.
“He doesn’t care about other people.”
Every word was painfully accurate. Josh was left speechless. Seeing that, Seth offered a quick solution.

“You should stay in tonight. I’ll sleep in a spare room. I’ll tell Mark you’ve caught a cold, so go with that. Sound good?”
Josh, still in a daze, nodded. As Seth turned to go, he paused like something had just occurred to him.
“How long’s your cycle? Should I grab my stuff and move out?”

“No, it’s fine.”
Josh finally found his voice.
“It’s not my cycle. It’s because of C’s pheromones. I took the suppressant—once I wash and rest, I’ll be okay.”

“That’s a relief.”
Seth turned to go, but Josh hesitated, then called out.
“Seth.”

Seth turned his head and blinked. Josh spoke hesitantly.
“Are you okay with this? That I’m an Omega?”
Seth tilted his head.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I mean…”
Josh scratched his head awkwardly.

“Omegas are usually avoided in this line of work. Things like this can happen.”
“Yeah, true.”
Seth said it simply.

“But you’re still you.”
Josh blinked, confused. Seth continued without concern.
“Who else is as reliable as you? Mark has to handle overall command, so when shit hits the fan, he can’t be front line. Isaac’s diligent, but not good at thinking on his feet. And Henry’s… well, he’s too temperamental. Hard to control.”

He furrowed his brow briefly, then relaxed.
“You’ve got quick judgment, you’re good at shooting, and you’re great in a fight. That makes me feel way safer.”
“Oh… thanks.”

Josh flushed, embarrassed. Seth added, smirking slightly,
“You’re great for hunting trips too.”
“….”

“After this job, let’s hit Miami. Blow off some steam.”
With a short laugh, he turned to leave. Josh asked without thinking.
“What about your girlfriend in Boston?”

Seth paused, then replied without turning around.
“We broke up.”
Before Josh could even say he was sorry, Seth was gone. Left alone, Josh sat back down, dazed. The heat still lingered, but the suppressants were finally kicking in—he no longer felt like he was going to lose control.

He staggered to his feet and exhaled a shaky breath.
That was close.
Thank god it was Seth who found out. If anyone deserved a prayer of thanks to the heavens, it was now.

Standing under the showerhead, Josh let the cold water pour over him and washed his body more thoroughly than he ever had. Afraid even the faintest trace of pheromones might still cling to him, he scrubbed himself down with shower gel again and again.
By the time he finally stepped out, his whole body was chilled like he really did have a cold. He rummaged through the cupboard, took some cold medicine, and collapsed into bed. The moment he hit the mattress, sleep swallowed him whole.