Kismet’s Tale

      Old Fred and Mimi gave them a farewell on the train station. After that, they entered the train, find their private carriage, and placed their luggage down. Mavin leaned next to the window and saw the capital city getting farther away. The train was noisy and it would stay that way.

He was about to calm his limbs when Natalya scooted next to him. “You do realize that there is space right?”

“I do,” she leaned her back on his shoulder. “And there is only one husband here.”

Mavin snorted. He ignored her and was about to continue looking at the scenery when he saw her plucking a pack of cigarettes. He stole the pack from her, kept it in his jacket. “Don’t smoke inside the train.”

“It’s safe, it’s not like I would throw it around.”

“Don’t smoke.”

“Stingy, you also smoke too as well.”

“Only in rare occasions.”

“But you do smoke, so why bother?”

“I just don’t like smoking in tight spaces.”

“Fine,” she shrugged and then perked her head close. “We can do so some kisses then.”

Mavin’s eyebrow rose. “Are you serious?”

“It’s either that or my cigs. Give me, I need to distress.”

Mavin thought about it and gave one to her. He opened the window fully and switched seats with her. She took the cig, happily lit it and placed her legs on the table like a thug would. Mavin slapped her legs off the table and she retaliate with a kick on his ribs.

“Why do that?”

“Don’t do that.”

“You’re picking on me.”

Mavin rolled his eyes and snapped. “Why gave the Princess that look?”

“Oh, is that all this about?” she took a drag of her cigarette. Her expression went from carefree to just cold in seconds. “She was staring with envy you know? Could recognize that gaze, and I had to remind her who was the legal wife now.”

“That so? You do realize that I can just annul this, right?”

“I do.”

“Then why are you acting like this?”

“I’m yours and you are mine. Simple as that. Or do you want me to go down the route where I have to keep you crippled?” she said lightheartedly.

Mavin felt a shivers as he heard that. This woman wasn’t joking about crippling him. “I’ll just end myself then. See if you’d like that.”

“Oh, if that happens it would be lonely. So don’t do that. I hate that you say that. Don’t die on me, what if I go back? What if this nightmare returns? No, no, I rather not risk it, so don’t say that ever again and I won’t talk about crippling you ever again. Deal?”

Desperation suddenly came to her eyes. Mavin didn’t know how to react to this. Although she had said to him how many times those ‘visions’ troubled her. He didn’t truly understand she went through. He had a concept of what she might be experiencing, but personally he could not even think of her nightmare. She looked subdued when talking like this. That carefree appearance really would shatter when he started going on about taking his life. That was also what propped her to move when he placed the barrel of a gun on his forehead.

“I won’t, just don’t talk about that anymore. Natalya, I think the winds of Lazon might help you cope with this nightmare of yours.”

She calmed down and took another drag of her cigarrete. “I…why do you think that I do this? I know that I am not sound of mind sometimes, and perhaps you don’t care at all. But do you know that the best thing that had happen to me lately? Getting my arm cut, and my marriage to you. I am not expecting you to love me suddenly. I know you have eyes for the Princess. But…in the time that I had spent in that nightmare. You were my light shining in the darkness. I just couldn’t stand that look of death anymore. It’s better if you keep living on. I don’t mind being a slave if I can still be married to you.”

“Don’t say that, you were someone who fought for liberty,” Mavin raised a finger. “Just say the word and I’ll let you go after this fiasco.”

“And go back to the Princess? No, I rather not. And liberty? Fraternity? I may have believed that truly when I had my club go to war, but now? It’s a fucking joke, a big joke how we fought for these old fogeys! The nerve of these bastards. I’ll skin them alive I have to. Ah, I should have Old Fred deliver my Ziba to me!”

“Your rifle will be with you once we are back home. They’ll drop it using the air parcel.”

“Oh,” she leaned on the seat and said. “I’m tired. But I’ll really skin those bastards if I hear another word from them.”

Her mind could change suddenly and this possessiveness creep him out. Especially when she goes on about cutting his veins, tendons, and crippling him to keep him by her side. Who wouldn’t be afraid of that? To be robbed of any freedom? There might be some freaks who would love that but he wasn’t one of them. But he understood that one of the madness invoked by the ‘Imperator’s Crest’ was caused by this vision. From what Mavin had gathered from what she spoke about. Her visions felt so real that it became a nightmare to her.

She was not sound of mind and in a way so was he. He admit that there were problems with his head. What sane mind would try to place a barrel of a pistol on their head to calm down? Not to mention that the people he had sent to death acted somewhat alike. He was just a pretentious fool who could go and preach about how good life was and stopped acting that way to a heartless bastard. He was a hypocrite, and even if he was, who wasn’t? There was no one in the world who didn’t change their beliefs and way if it suited them.

“Robert,” he thought about him. He didn’t like Robert, but he respected him. He had used him and had thrown him away when it was time. That was the deal they had made and he honored that. Robert died taking out the demifiends nest. Even though he had made sure that Robert wouldn’t be able to die without using the bomb he had planted on their exoskeleton suits. The honor to take care of those monsters belonged to him. He made sure that the Emperor would let the people know that Robert and the Storm Vanguard were the saviors of the Empire and the one who showed that light to the world.

Mavin shook his head. He looked at Natalya and didn’t bother talking. She finished her cigarette, closed the window, and crossed her arms as if she was in a deep thought. Her eyes became naturally distant and it felt like there was no light in her eyes. Then she would suddenly snap and then looked around as if something had dropped. There are times where she would stare on a corner for too long. There are also times where she would hardened her expression like a soldier who just woke up from a shelling.

Her estimate of her left arm was off as well. Even though she said that there was nothing about it. She was still suffering from the phantom pain of losing an arm. When this happens he had to usually move next to her, grabbed on to her silver arm, and pressed down on her shoulder.

Repeating nightmares that felt real. But to her it was probably an own bubble of reality. The purer the blood the purer the effect of the Imperator’s Crest was. Even if she does say it was nothing more than visions. Mavin had suspicions that wasn’t truly the case and she’d be plague by these nightmares. Nonetheless, she was still holding on well for a woman who had managed to live through that vision of hell. It was her own hell, a self-inflicted one, and even in the ‘memories’ when the Crown Prince, Rene and Kristine succeeded in giving her the final blow. She only despaired and begged for something not to repeat. It was only during the ‘true end’ that there was euphoric expression on her face as she faced and embraced her end.

“Ah, finally, after so long. Finally, it’s the end!”

That image of her in those memories was not blurred or fuzzy like everything that had seen in the ‘memories’. There was freedom in death and the woman named Viola Whitefall sought for that very death and welcomed it. He wondered if that Viola Whitefall had seen a far worst hell than Natalya. They were the same and at the same time wasn’t. Viola Whitefall became a Conqueror to seek death while this one found a solution to her problem.

“You should calm down, take a deep breath,” Mavin said. Natalya clung to him and held his right arm. Mavin let her and she pressed her head on his shoulder while muttering something. There was chatter on her lower teeth and then suddenly all of it just stopped so mechanically that if he had not seen this in the past few days. He would have suspected that it was a very patient and elaborate act.

But one couldn’t control things like this. Even if she did then his boon that allowed him to enter a bullet-time perception would see the ticks and contortions she was trying to make. Then again, in her vision he had felled for her tricks and became a cripple. It was hard to judge someone, but at least to what he had seen during the war. Ticks like these are not easy to control.

“Drink some water,” he offered her a canteen and she drank from it. “Smoking and alcohol can calm you down, but don’t get too addicted to it. It isn’t going to rid these visions away. You only can help yourself, and as someone who had cut your arm. I would at least help you get to a better state of mind. Lazon’s air is very fresh and it’s quite peaceful as well. If you had been there, then you’ll know that it’s calming there. Don’t worry, I’ll…watch over you so you don’t become a Whitefall.”

She nodded and just planted her forehead on his shoulder. Mavin watched her try to close her eyes. He wanted to look at the scenery but it seems like she wasn’t going to let him. Mavin stayed in this position until she finally let go, pressed her arms on the cushion of their private carriage and took a sleep.

Mavin moved to the side of the window and watched the stars coming out. The black canvas was sprinkled with sparkling dots and there were multi-colored lights painting the dots. There was a fresh scent of tree bark and leaves. Sometimes he would spot wild animals and lone cottages. There are also unmarked villages and empty wheat fields that had been harvested. Once in a while, the train would stop in a water station to replenish water. This train didn’t have tenders so they have to stop every ten miles to stop in a water station. He had guessed that Old Fred had done this to settle things down with her. Old Fred had some knowledge about the Nullers, the Magi, and the Great Silence. But he still believed that they should have at least have a harmonious relationship.

Mavin knew that he couldn’t go along with her stride for now. They have time and during that time he’d rather build up the blocks first, try to understand, communicate with her. Misunderstandings are somewhat troublesome when it comes to normal people, but to someone who could casually go about cutting his limbs, severing his veins and tendons?

Mavin Tomas knew that talking instead of having misunderstandings would be the better route. Once they arrive in Lazon, he had to work on their communication. He had been blinded by his desire to get rid of the nest and threatened by her prospects as an Imperator, but now that he had suppressed her powers, he thought that he could finally just sit down and just talk it out.

And that he didn’t want a markswoman who had almost took his head off and had talked about crippling him for many times now to misunderstand. He needed to do this peacefully.