Chapter 44: To Try
After speaking with Rigel, he got out of the company building. The glare of the sun made him block the light with his forearm. As he lowered his arm, he saw a familiar violet eye staring at him. He could feel her breathe and the scent of her. When did she appear in front of him?
“Oh,” Mavin took a step back.
She stepped forward. “Saw the car, and wondered who it was. Looks like you had business with Rigel, I presume?”
“I had,” Mavin squared his shoulders and leaned forward. Their eyes a finger away. “So, would you mind taking a step back?”
She smiled and blew his nose. “Fine, I wasn’t trying to piss you off.”
“Hmm,” Mavin wiped his nose. “Looks like you aren’t as pissed as before.”
“Am I?” She squinted her eyes. “I have...quite a few enlightenments.”
“That so?” Mavin said. Natalya had been acting rather volatile. She gave this apathetic yet know-it-all feeling. However, the Natalya that was standing in front of Mavin was quite...venomous. She held that feeling of confidence that she had once shown in Flost.
“What brings you here?”
“Nothing much,” she circled him. “Was wandering around this district, doing some work and processing my papers to get a new plane and some lessons.”
“A new plane,” Mavin said. “Are you planning to buy a hangar as well?”
“I might. I do have my pension and my personal wealth. Thankfully, I have benefactors here who are willing to lift some of the burden of that tax.”
“That’s good,” Mavin started. “I hope that you do get that plane of yours.”
“Leaving already?”
“I am...did you bring your car?”
“I didn’t. I had to leave the car behind. I took a cab here after getting some package from home.”
“What package?”
“My rifle.”
Mavin stopped. “Did they allow you?”
“Why not? It’s not like I am the only one who wants to send their favorite rifle. Old Fred was gracious enough to lend me a hand.”
“Didn’t know that.”
“Unless you have an all-seeing eye. I doubt you can know without asking him personally. Or perhaps spies eyeing me now?”
“Who knows?”
“I didn’t take you for a voyeur.”
“Are you going somewhere? I can take you to your destination.”
“How about you?”
“I might just drive around.”
“Then I’ll go with you.”
“Why?”
“Why not?” she grinned. “If you don’t have an important business to attend to that is..”
Mavin didn’t speak and silently permitted to go with him. He found his car and sat on the driver’s seat. She sat on the front with him and inclined her elbow on the open window.
Mavin backed the car, driving out of the parking lot. Entering the three-lane road, he laced a hand on the steering wheel with his other on the shift. The two didn’t speak for a minute or two. She was fidgeting with her pocket camera. He recalled to himself that he had one as well.
“Hey,” she called.
Mavin turned to her and saw the camera flash. His hands remained steady and he saw double. “You shouldn’t really do that.”
She inserted the camera on her breast pocket. “I’ll show you the picture later. If you have a funny face, I might just keep it.”
“What’s with you today?”
“What?”
“I am in a good mood.”
“Truly?”
“Am I not allowed to have a good day?”
“No, it’s just strange to me.”
She braced herself on the car’s compartment box. “That’s quite rude of you to say, you know?”
“I wasn’t trying to be rude.”
She folded her arms, the expression on her face stayed. “The Holmian-Lazon and Webman Company relations seem to be strong.”
“It is. We’ve been working with them for years now. They’ve been one of the many companies that we’ve invested in.”
“I see. The Holmians are rather eager to hand over the technology to Lazon.”
“We do supply them with their much needed minerals. Most of the south of Lazon’s resources are still untapped, and they are helping us gladly in uncovering the riches that are hidden inside our mountains.”
“From what I heard, you were the one in-charge back then.”
“I was, but most of the discussion and the finer details of our partnership with the Holmians were made by my Cousin and Old Fred. Our partnership with them has been beneficial to the development of Lazon.”
“And now they are offering the best technology that they could offer to Lazon. I heard from Old Fred that there are many nobles aching to get a piece of the profit. I think they are trying to make a petition and demand some of the rights.”
“That’s crazy, and at the same time understandable, coming from the nobles.”
“Do you think they'll have a piece of the pie?”’
“No, not when the Crown Prince and the Second Prince are actively preventing them from influencing the dealing. Usually, the Imperial Family are rather generous with tech, but the importance of this deal to the Imperial Family is something that must be done.”
“Sky Knights,” Natalya said. “I heard that the Emperor wants to see a battalion of planes.”
“Can you blame the Emperor? The planes in the wars were quite effective and it was clear that having an air superiority would do the forces of the Empire good.”
“He must be afraid,” Natalya commented. “That the war might reignite and he’d see these flyers above the Imperial Capital. It would be quite a horrifying scene to witness.”
Mavin kept his eyes on the road. He thought that a squadron of planes could cause enough trouble to emplacements and the defenses of the city.
It was the most logical choice for the Emperor to believe that they must have air superiority if another war comes.
The Emperor is a wise man. He could see that there was merit to these metal and wooden birds. And with the help of the technology that they are passing to the Imperial Capital, then these technologies could help in the advancement of the Imperial City.
Mavin stopped the car to wait for the pedestrians to cross. Natalya closed the window and adjusted her seat.
She became silent again. Not a single word as the car crossed streets and alleys. It was only when they got close to the tram-line that she started to talk again.
“What do you plan to do after this deal?”
“Hmm?”
“Are you going home to Lazon?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it. There are problems here that I need to care about before going back home.”
“Such as?”
“I still have to help Rene and Kristine.”
“Do you plan to help the Ladies as well?”
“I don’t think they needed my help,” Mavin said proudly. “The Ladies are rather independent and they have their own goals to pursue. I think they are one of the most competent ladies in Lazon. So I don’t want to waste their time with my meddling.”
“If they weren’t competent, then they wouldn’t have been suitable to be an Empress-Candidate. Still, when they talk about high society, I realize that you are managing by not placing a foot on the quagmire that they are in. Old Fred, and even Rigel seems to have adapted to this society rather admirably. I expected nothing less from Old Fred, but Rigel being well-versed is quite something.”
“I did hear that you had asked them for a favor.”
“Oh, I did. Do you know how hard it is to apply for a transfer again and again when you aren’t an imperial citizen? I needed the signatures of Old Fred, the Prince, and the Ladies to move my papers in priority. I got it done now and I am receiving funds, but I dread at the thought of all that paperwork.”
“Hmm, Old Fred and Rigel does my paperwork.”
“I noticed. If I was still favored by my family. I wouldn’t even have to do this paperwork. I would if I could. It’s strange that this was normality for us. Hard to think that one day I have to worry about paperwork.”
“You are rather lax today.”
“Am I?” she sat properly on her seat. “I’ve been...having nightmares. Nightmares and visions that are rather...awful. I don’t like it. I hate those dreams.”
“What is it?”
“It’s nothing. I murdered someone who I knew in those dreams. It was a strange dream you know? It makes me...strange.”
“I see,” Mavin guessed that it might be the scars that the war gave them. No one left the war without scars that affected them mentally and physically. Mavin knew this well and yet he threw it all on the back of his head. But when he’s asleep he could recall the nightmares of the war. “Do you take any pills?”
“Not really. I don’t think you do as well,” Natalya said. “You seem to be holding up well for yourself.”
“I have my own ways to cope with it,” Mavin tightened his left grip on the steering wheel. “It’s not going to go away sooner or later. You just have to carry the burden.”
“Is that so? Pardon me for saying this, but I don’t think you are the kind that would even care if someone places a gun on your head.”
“You seem so sure when you say that?”
“Just...a guess. Other than solving problems and caring about others which you seem to love doing so. Do you have anything that you desire?”
“Desire? I--” Mavin thought curtly of a figure painting in the background. That lone figure waiting for death. Biding her time until she finally passed from this world.
He hated it. He loathed it. If there was a way he would have thrown it all. But he knew it better that even though there are a lot of things he could change. This wasn’t one of them.
You cannot save her.
You cannot save her.
The boy whose heart died on that hill screamed for salvation in his head. However, the Mavin Tomas that received those ‘memories’ blocked his ears. Leaving that boy on the hill conjured in his mind.
“I have nothing,” Mavin said tonelessly. “I just want to do this out of my own selfish reasoning.”
“Is that so?” she said with a disbelieving tone. “Do people tell you that you are quite the fool? Those that know you think of you as a wise man and could have been a great ruler, but in my eyes you are nothing more than a fool who seems to have more joy helping people solve their problems. When I saw you on that train, you had more life in your eyes than the time you’ve spent with others. Have you ever thought about more than that? What do you do after you solve all that immediate problem of yours?”
Mavin felt like her words were harsh, but there was merit to them. “Who knows?” he smiled. “I might just go back to my cabin, and start tilting the land.”
He could feel Natalya’s stare. When they came across a crossing lane. He took a glance at him and saw her still staring.
“Do you remember what I said during that incident when the Holmians arrived?”
“That reminds me, what’s with that? Six times? I never asked you what it meant?”
She stayed her gaze on him. “It’s nothing really. I just do it sometimes to keep count and don't feel lost. A rather bad habit,” she leaned on her seat. “You know, when I said that I loathed and hated you. I think I really do and at the same time I don’t want to anymore..”
“Hah,” Mavin laughed. “Does that mean that you won’t kill me anymore?”
She looked at him deeply. “I’ve already killed you in my dream. Isn’t that enough?”
Mavin stopped. “So that person you murdered in your dream was me?”
“Yeah, and I didn’t like it.”
“I see. I hope that thought stays then.”
“It will, hopefully. I don’t want to do this again and again. Repeating the same conversations, following the same pattern, it’s pointless when it comes to someone who only scarred me,” Natalya said with a rather displeased tone of voice. "You, Old Fred, had done nothing but helped me when I decided to come here. I don't want to be shameless."
“You sound tired. Maybe you should take a rest. I’ll drive us around.”
Natalya nodded and leaned her head arms on the car window she opened again.
“Mavin.”
“Yes?”
“You should care more about yourself.”
“I do care about myself?”
“You know that’s a lie.”
“I’ll try then.”
“Good. Do that so I don’t kill you.”
“Hah,” Mavin curtly laughed. “Roger that, Ma’am.”
Mavin felt that there was something odd about her lately. The change of her mood was erratic and truthfully troublesome to him. Whether she becomes an Imperator or stays the same was still unclear.
I hope that she doesn’t become one, Mavin thought. He rather preferred that she’d stay the way she was. After all, he knew what he would do the moment she would try to become one.