Chapter 172: Dead Men
Mavin felt like he was always floating lately. He held his head. Then his eyes naturally went to the cracks in the sky. The crack in the sky was always present nowadays. Seeing the crack in the sky, his eyes lost its steel.
“That boss is quite high-leveled. I doubt you can take it down. At best, you are fifty-levels lacking to compete. You ain’t going to get a happy ending.”
The voice told him. It was a voice with a face that had become blurrier as time went on.
“Well, a side character like us have no right to be facing them after we fuck it all up. Even so, it’s best if we can score a draw. Hell, it’s going to be terrible for us.”
How long has it been? Since he last heard this old voice. A voice that was guiding him through the steps. Mavin felt like he was back to that suffocating feeling once more. The feeling of dread that he hasn't felt since then.
“Sorry chief, it’s just this way somehow. I don’t know why I become conscious when we have situations like these. Anyway, the things that have happened lately, it’s good. A bit of happiness, even if it's a bit. It’s good enough for me.”
“If we do this, you might be truly lost.”
“So what? I had a long time to think it through. Chief, I’m dead, and that isn’t going to change anything. I don’t know why I am living in your head and separate from your head, but in a way it’s a blessing to me.”
“I’ll kill you if we proceed with this plan.”
“Hah! Why are you acting as if this is going to be the end? Chief, I maintain my sanity because you stimulate me with things that make me feel like it's worth staying. Waking up, finding someone who I treat like my child, it’s fun.”
“You don’t watch me I hope.”
“Bah, even if I want to watch the CG, it’s impossible since you took control. And I can’t really violate your privacy. I have my own pride, you know that.”
Mavin looked around him. Natalya had left him in peace for now. He was glad that no one was around since sometimes he’d speak loudly. The ‘memories’ he saw belonged to the voice that was talking to him.
The memories have become blurrier. And the fifty-seven years made it sometimes impossible to remember said details.
“Well, sorry that I can’t remember much, Chief. Anyway, eh, I won’t comment on you taking the villainess route, but well, this is some scenario that is pleasing to me. Something new before oblivion, I’d be with you Chief. You know that right?”
The voice was like a nagging uncle. He helped Mavin out a lot when he was still the Marcher Lord and a Soldier in the trenches. It was his nagging voice that kept him sane in those trying times. Where a kid might break, cry, and whine. The nagging uncle would appear, and remind him of what he wanted to do.
And that nagging uncle was the one holding on to his sanity. The thought of it sickens him. This was beyond what he needed to do. It was easy to label it as saving the world when he thought of only the number of people that might be affected by what he’s going to do.
“Well, I doubt this would be heroic like… I’d prefer if we found a golden path. But we just can’t find it in these conditions. It’s good that we don’t have to fight the dragon before the true boss, but it's best that we have a mindset of going through this. There’s no going back, and if anything, we got so lucky that I think we finally ran out of luck.”
“I see.”
“Yup, one day we won’t have the cards to play. We ran out of the cards that we have to deal with, so this was coming for us. Oh well, despite that, Chief, do you really want to do this?”
“I think I will. I doubt anyone could take care of it.”
“Sadly, our interference made it quite hard. Lives and individuals are hard to control. This isn’t the same either and we don’t have a system where we can just reload to a point where we haven’t failed and do it again. We don’t have that luxury, and the blessing to live on after seemingly dying from the Exiled One. We can’t exactly whine about the blessings that we have.”
“I’m afraid.”
“Well, I can’t say that I am not afraid as well. I’d be a dirty liar if I say that I am not. But what can we do? What can I do? I’m… just a fragment of the consciousness of a man who had died a long time ago. I am not some magical system that can give you anything you want. I’m just a dead man in your head. A second death, no, perhaps this will truly be my end.”
Mavin raised his hands and looked at it. He hasn't felt this fear for a long time. He tried to suppress it once more, but found himself reaching out to the pistol strapped on his shoulder.
“No, you can’t keep doing that lad.”
“I know.”
Mavin placed his hands on his thighs.
“I’ll be with you until the end. At least, I’ll try to keep you sane. This is the path you choose after all.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No need to be sorry. Again, there’s no need to feel sorry about a voice in your head. I don’t like where we are going, but I guess it’s better than leaving it be. Apathy is a slow killer, and we always believe in the same thing right?”
“That’s right.”
“Better on your feet, than on your knees.”
Mavin heard the nagging voice in his head laugh. The tremors afflicting his hands and the steely determination that faded when the voice spoke appeared again.
“Forge the artifact, and then use it just in time.”
Mavin reaffirmed himself with a single-minded determination.