King of the Mountain

The United States stops went off without a hitch.  I emptied out a lot of precious metals in the mints and the bullion depository.  The Federal Reserve Bank in Manhattan was a pain in the neck and London was almost as bad.  I had forgotten to take into consideration that each of those cities is extremely built up.  There are drainage tunnels, subways, utilities, and for all I know mole men tunnels that were so annoying to avoid I almost gave up.  It took me an extra two days in both Manhattan and London to empty the vaults.  Not because of difficulty of alarms or anything but just for the convoluted system of access tunnels I had to follow in order to get close enough to finish the job.  It was like a horrible maze.

Africa was different.  Planning out what to do is easy.  Accomplishing my goals was very difficult.  Once again, it was not security or man-made problem, but rather a cultural, linguistic, and I hate to say it but a skin tone problem.  First off I did not consider how difficult it would be to get some alone time without people noticing.  In the U.S. and U.K. I was just another pasty white guy walking around and people ignored me.  In Africa I was the only pasty white guy walking around and was a source of amusement for the locals.  All of the local kids would follow the weird white guy around as I tried to find someplace I could start the beginning of my tunnel.  I finally had to sneak out of my hotel late at night in a hoodie and pray I did not get mugged until I found an alleyway with no one in it.  Once I made it underground it was an even easier time than in the U.S. to access the metal and gems that I needed.

I may be a thief, but I did have a conscious.  In every country where I accessed mines and not vaults I made sure to send some gems and metals closer to the surface of where the mines were operating.  Since I knew that in about a year these mines might shut down entirely I decided that the last year of mining should be especially beneficial to them.   Hopefully that will ease my conscious a little by helping out the locals.

I also over tipped and gave out money where ever I traveled.  This I hoped left a great impression with the locals and would help my recruitment efforts.  Whenever I was given excellent service or someone helped me out I left a business card and $100 with a message to call and see if there was a position in my new company that they would like to apply for.  Moving costs are covered, families are welcome, we will teach you English.

Asia was fun, Australia was a blast.  I probably spent more time in Australia than I should have, but I had always wanted to visit and this might be my last chance.  So I went on outback tours and purchased significant land holdings in Australia.  I set up a management company and built up some quick underground bunkers that my Australian employers could use.  I left a detailed set of instructions sealed in the company with the instruction to open it the morning of the summer solstice.  I would have liked to warn them ahead of time but I figured they would just think I was crazy.  This way even if they thought I was crazy the world would change soon after and validate my plans and preparations.  I might be able to save more people this way.

My favorite place on the world wide stealing trip was South America.  I first arrived in Brazil as a tourist for a week of fun and sun before I planned on going up to Colombia and its emerald mines.  Brazil was an amazing mixture of culture, cute girls, history, fantastic looking women, wonderful beaches and have I mentioned how pretty the ladies are.  I probably handed out my business card a little more than I should have but I have very little defense against beautiful women who flirt with me.

The last stop on the grand world tour was Colombia.  Now I have met several people from Colombia and even more who have visited the country.  I knew it was nothing like what they show in movies with drug dealers and cocaine lords everywhere, but I was unprepared for the sheer beauty and wonderful attitude of its people.  Everywhere I went people were universally kind and treated me well.  The lovely ladies flirted with me, it may be because of my nationality, it may have been because I can actually speak enough Spanish that they feel I am trying more than other tourists.  Whatever the reason I decided that the majority of my staff if I could should be from Colombia.

To me it was simple, if they treated me this well and had such positive attitudes now, then when the world ended and I kept them safe the loyalty they should demonstrate at that time should be amazing.  It did not hurt that I love their accents and that the girls are gorgeous.  I think I may have been single a little too long.  I hope that this does not come back and haunt me later.  I have arranged for several coastal sections of land to be bought in my company’s name.  This should allow my employees access to a boat I will send for them to leave the country and emigrate to America right before the change over.