Keyboard Immortal

Ten Great Beauties?

“What kind of overused cliché is this?” Zu An retorted. “This is the kind of plotline used only in old novels from more than a decade ago!”

“What novels?” Wei Suo was confused by the nonsense Zu An was rambling. Nevertheless, he still continued on. “Who cares whether it’s cliché or not? It’s because people like it that it becomes a classic!”

Zu An burst into laughter. “That makes sense. Go on, who are these Ten Great Beauties?”

Wei Suo nodded in approval of Zu An’s response. A good listener always knew when to fawn and when to respond, if not the speaker would only look like a fool, rambling on on his own. “The number one beauty is, of course, the First Miss of the Brightmoon Duke’s clan, Chu Chuyan. She’s like a snow fairy descended from heaven to the mortal world. She boasts great beauty and powerful cultivation, making her the dream lover of ninety-nine percent of the men in the academy!”

Wei Suo heaved a long sigh of regret and said, “It’s just a pity that she married a few days ago, and it’s rumored that her husband is a notorious good-for-nothing in the city. Many students in the academy were infuriated by the news, and wanted to confront him and challenge him to a duel. I reckon that that fellow is dead meat.”

Zu An clenched his fists so tightly that his knuckles creaked. He grabbed Wei Suo’s shoulder, a bright smile on his face. “What did you say? Can you repeat it again for me?”

“Yowch!” The excruciating pain in his shoulder made Wei Suo realize his mistake. He recalled what he had just heard at the entrance to the academy and quickly put on an apologetic smile. “My bad, I nearly forgot that you were that useless... Pui pui! Brother, you’re a dashing man with great charms. You have at least seventy to eighty percent of my charisma. It’s no wonder why the First Miss of the Chu clan chose you in the end!”

Zu An stared at Wei Suo’s jarring buck teeth. This fellow is so thick-skinned, he almost seems to possess my own flair. “Why do you say that only ninety-nine percent of the men in this academy like her?”

“The First Miss of the Chu clan has too cold of a personality. Her natural disposition seems to be to keep others away from her,” Wei Suo replied.

“Is that so?” Zu An thought of the romance novel that she was reading in secret, and the edges of his lips curled up slightly. “That’s because you don’t understand her well.”

“Of course we don’t understand her as well as you do!” Wei Suo grumbled in envy. You have even interacted with her at a negative distance before, so how can you possibly not know her?

Zu An carried on, oblivious to Wei Suo’s crude thoughts. “Other than the First Miss of the Chu clan, who else is on the list?” It seemed a good idea for him to gather as much intelligence on the academy as possible.

Wei Suo pondered for a moment. “In second place is Pei Mianman, who recently transferred from another academy. Her figure... Hehehe! Let me put it this way, the first thing that comes to the mind of any man who sets his eyes on her is the bedroom. She’s the perfect romantic fantasy of all men in the academy!”

Zu An cast his mind back to the physical brawl he’d had with her previously, and nodded in agreement. “Mm, it’s indeed a lethal weapon.”

Wei Suo side-eyed Zu An in disdain. You’ve never seen her before, so why are you talking as if you know a thing or two here?

Zu An noticed subtle differences in Wei Suo’s description of the two women. “If she is liked by all of the men in the academy, why is she ranked in the second place instead of the first?”

“Ah, that’s because you aren’t thinking long-term!” Wei Suo adopted the lecturing tone of a senior student. “She’s a dream lover but not a suitable wife. Someone like the First Miss of the Chu clan is far better for a long-term relationship, and that’s why she’s ranked in the first place.”

Zu An was impressed by just how much thought went into sorting out the rankings. “Your wisdom knows no bounds! Who’s in third place then?”

Wei Suo replied, “In third place of the Sweetheart Ranking is our academy’s foreign language teacher...”

“What? Foreign language teacher?” Zu An was appalled. “There’s such a thing as a foreign language in this world?”

Just what kind of bad luck is this? Zu An vividly recalled the torturous days he’d spent learning a second language in his previous life. It seemed like history was going to repeat itself once more in this world. From what he remembered, there was an author called Mars-something that scored really well in his examinations. Unfortunately, he’d failed his English examination, and ended up in a second-rate university.

“Of course there are foreign languages in our world!” Wei Suo stared at Zu An as if he were an idiot. “The previous great war drove the other tribes into the barren lands. Nevertheless, there are still many foreigners in our society, and they have their own culture, language, and practices. Naturally, we should try to learn about them, or else we would be at a disadvantage when dealing with them!”

Zu An was surprised by this information. As he had just arrived in this world, he knew very little about the war between mankind and the foreign tribes. Nevertheless, he could sense the pride and confidence that the humans of this world gave off.

It’s good that I got transmigrated into an era of prosperity and peace. This way, I can spend my life in bliss as a scion of nobility, Zu An thought in relief.

“Where was I?” It took some time for Wei Suo to get back on track. “Ah yes, in the third place is the foreign language teacher, Liu Shangyu. On top of her captivating appearance, she has a graceful and gentle personality. If it were up to me, I would have surely placed her in the first place! Unfortunately those brats in the academy prefer women of the same age.”

So, this fellow prefers older women despite being a brat himself? Hm, wait a moment! Did he just mention that the foreign language teacher is called Liu Shangyu?

Isn’t that the person Ji Dengtu mentioned? Hmmm, it looks like I should find an opportunity to get close to her...

“Do you know what the cultivation level of this foreign language teacher is?” It seemed imperative to gather what information he could now. Being caught red-handed for stealing her dudou could lead to a tragic death otherwise.[1]

“Cultivation?” Wei Suo frowned. “Miss Liu isn’t known for her cultivation in the academy, so the information about that is sketchy. I reckon that she should be in the fourth rank at most.”

“Fourth rank?” Zu An’s eyes lit up. It looks like the gap between us isn’t too big. Does that mean that I can give it a try?

Wei Suo ignored his comment. “In the fourth place is our principal, Jiang Luofu. She’s definitely a queen bee, and gives off an air of power. Not only is she beautiful, but she’s also the strongest cultivator in our academy.”

Zu An was surprised. “The principal is a woman?”

“Who says that the principal has to be a man?” Wei Suo looked at Zu An as if he were a country bumpkin blinded by stereotypes. “Principal Jiang could have placed first, but she slid down to fourth due to her busy schedule. I must say that the brats of this generation really aren’t up to scratch.”

A staff member, who had been listening in intently, cleared his throat and swiveled to glare at Wei Suo. “You dare gossip about the principal behind her back? Are you tired of living?”

Wei Suo smiled apologetically. “Alright alright, I shan’t talk about the principal anymore.”

Satisfied, the staff member turned back around.

Wei Suo continued to Zu An, “In the fifth place of the Sweetheart Ranking is the young miss of the neighboring Sunspring Duke, Wu Qing. Just like the others, she’s known for her good looks, but rumors abound that she has a horrible temper.

“In the sixth place is the young miss of the city lord, Xie Daoyun. She’s the older sister of Xie Xiu, whom you met at the entrance of the academy earlier. Unlike her younger brother, she’s an incredibly talented woman, with a gentle personality to boot. In my view, the only reason why Wu Qing is ranked ahead of her is due to her father’s halo.”

“In the seventh place is Ji Xiaoxi, the daughter of Divine Physician Ji Dengtu. Her small stature makes her look really adorable. For hardcore fans of hers, she doesn’t lose out to Chu Chuyan or Pei Mianman at all. She’s the love of all lolicons. It’s just a pity that she isn’t my type of dish.”

Zu An nodded in response. To think that the young woman he met in the valley would actually be studying in Brightmoon Academy as well. This sure was a huge coincidence. I should probably hang out with her more often. After all, my life as a man rests on her father’s shoulders!

“In the eighth place is the young miss of Brightmoon City’s Zheng clan, Zheng Dan. They are rumored to be the second wealthiest clan in Brightmoon City, losing out to only the Chu clan. Anyone who marries her in the future will be able to save thirty years of struggling in the corporate world. Of course, that’s nothing compared to you, who married the First Miss of the Chu clan.”

Zu An sighed deeply. While others thought that he was living a carefree and abundant life in the Chu clan, only he knew of the difficulties and danger he faced every step of the way. No one in the Chu Estate really treated him as the son-in-law of the Chu clan.

But of course, as a man, he still had his own pride to uphold. He pretended to look flattered by Wei Suo’s remark.

“However, there are rumors that the Zheng clan is intending to enter into a political marriage with the newly-appointed governor of the Linchuan Commandery. I wonder if the rumors are true.” Wei Suo couldn’t hide his displeasure. “It really is frustrating. There are so many wolves out there, but so little meat. And yet another one has just been taken.”

Zu An patted Wei Suo’s shoulder. “Relax, there are still many single women out there. I believe that, with your capabilities, you’ll surely be able to find a good wife in the future!”

“Of course!” Wei Suo’s chin lifted in pride. Unfortunately, the Sweetheart he was most interested in was Principal Jiang. His motivation left him like air from a leaky balloon, and his tone grew listless. “In ninth place of the Sweetheart Ranking is the Second Miss of the Chu clan, Chu Huanzhao. It’s clear that she has the makings of a great beauty, but she has yet to blossom fully. On top of that, she behaves like a rascal, which is why she’s placed near the bottom of the rankings.

“As for tenth place, I can’t remember her name at the moment. She has a special disposition that makes others subconsciously forget about her...

“In any case, those who are able to get into the top ten of the Sweetheart Ranking are outstanding beauties. In my view, there’s nothing to choose between them in terms of appearance; what really affects their ranking are their personalities and several other external factors at play.”

Wei Suo’s logical analysis left Zu An with a newfound respect for the buck-toothed man. “I didn’t think it possible to look at things from such a perspective. As expected of a veteran!”

Wei Suo waved his hands in a gesture of humility. “You’re too kind. My knowledge is limited to mere theories. I’m nowhere on par with you, who have already gotten some action with the number one beauty on the Sweetheart Ranking... Ah, why do I suddenly feel like crying?”

“Enough, enough. The two of you, stop spouting nonsense. Wei Suo, you should head to your class.” The staff member gestured to a classroom not too far away. The academy was so large that it had taken them a long time to reach their destination.

Having dismissed Wei Suo, the staff member beckoned Zu An over. “Come with me. The principal wishes to meet you.”

Wei Suo was quick to protest. “We’re all freshmen! Why is the principal meeting him and not me?” he cried indignantly.

The staff member rolled his eyes at Wei Suo. “You got in here through clearing the entrance examinations, whereas he got in here through his connections. How can the two of you possibly be considered the same?”

Zu An stood to the side, feeling a little awkward. Hey, hey, hey, should you really be saying these words before me? I’m a man with pride, you know!

Hearing the staff’s explanation, Wei Suo had no choice but to resign himself to his fate. He began trudging listlessly toward his classroom. A scant few steps later, he turned around suddenly and yelled, “Make sure to take a good look at the principal! When you get back, I want you to tell me what color her stockings are today!”

Zu An was too stunned to respond.

The staff member’s face darkened. He looked ready to give Wei Suo a good beating. Sensing his impending doom, Wei Suo dashed into the classroom to seek refuge.

The staff member turned back to Zu An, looking vexed. “Don’t listen to that fellow’s nonsense. If you were to get on the principal’s bad side, not even the Brightmoon Duke will be able to protect you.”

Zu An grunted in acknowledgement. He was starting to feel a little curious about this principal.

The staff led him to a tall building nearby, which looked different from the classroom building. An expensive-looking red carpet covered in exquisite embroidery was laid over the stairs of this building.

“How extravagant!” Zu An marveled at how those in power always distinguished themselves from the masses. Regardless of which world one was in, the grandest building in a school was always the administrative building.

The staff member offered Zu An a stern reminder. “The staff office is here too. While most teachers rarely drop by here, it’s in your best interests not to mess around.”

Zu An favored him with another grunt as he scanned the staff office, hoping to find Liu Shangyu’s table. As he did so, it suddenly struck him that there was no way Liu Shangyu would ever leave her dudou lying on her office table.

The two of them walked up the stairs, all the way to the top floor. They walked down a long corridor to the room at the very end. The staff member rapped sharply on the door. “Lord Principal, I have brought Zu An.”

“Tell him to come in,” a voice sounded behind the door. Despite the formal tone, the uniquely rich and melodious voice was more than enough to spark all sorts of thoughts in a man’s mind.

1. A dudou is a woman’s traditional undergarment, similar in form to a halter top.