Kaiser of the New World

Kai waited patiently for the white snake to ask its first riddle, sweat trickling down his forehead as he tried to ignore the dull aching permeating from his chest.

A moment later, the snake finally spoke.

"You measssure my life in hoursss and I ssserve you by expiring. I’m quick when I am thin and slow when I am fat. The wind is my enemy.

What am I?"

Kai blinked, a flicker of nervousness finally creeping its way onto his expression, making the snake hiss excitedly.

Measure life in hours, purpose is to die, quick when thin and slow when fat?

...

What the hell?!

"Come on little one, try your bessst to anssswer, otherwissse it'sss no fun."

Kai stared the ground, seemingly accepting his fate.

Sighing softly, Kai lifted his head, shook it and said:

"Candle... it's a candle."

The snake's head recoiled, shocked that its prey had actually been correct, meanwhile Kai grinned madly.

Riddles? Who did this snake think it was to challenge him to a game of riddles. Kai was the king of those!

His parents, always thinking they were smarter than him, always gloating that they had better results than him in school when they were his age, so what did Kai do?

He went a Googled a shit ton of riddles to ask his parents, then, when they inevitably gone one wrong, he would shove it in their face and say:

"Maybe riddles aren't for everyone."

The snake hissed at the lazy attempt of provocation, but Kai had already gotten under its scaled skin.

"Ssso what you get one riddle correct, I ssstil have many more to ask you-"

"Ah ah ah." Kai grinned. "It's my turn to ask a riddle now, Mr Snake, so allow me."

The snake's eyes narrowed, making Kai hold back on the taunting a little, he would much rather not end up in its stomach after all.

But now that it was Kai's turn to ask a riddle, what could he possible ask?

If he were to think about it, technically anything could be considered a riddle, even a normal question could be if someone were to ask it in a certain way.

So that was how Kai decided what 'riddle' to ask the massive snake.

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"

Kai grinned madly as he watched the snake's eyes widen as it pulled back its large head, a confused expression on its scaled face.

Yes, this was exactly what Kai wanted. The snake would assume there was a proper answer to the riddle, not knowing the answer was an incredibly dumb joke that was probably created by a toddler.

However, that dream was shattered as Kai watched the snake hiss, like it was laughing at him.

"Do you think you can trick me with your pathetic human mind. The anssswer isss to get to the other ssside."

Kai mentally cursed.

How the hell did this oversized lizard even know about that joke? It didn't even make sense.

And the worst part was now it got to ask Kai another riddle, and since he had been taunting it, he knew that it was probably going to be harder than the first one.

The snake brought its head downwards towards Kai, letting its  forked tongue caress him, making him shiver in response to the uncomfortable sensation.

The snake's grip on Kai's waist tightened ever so slightly, making him have to bite his lip so he didn't cry out in pain. More and more cracks started to appear in the body of his armour, making him feel even more uneasy about the situation.

Then, the snake opened its maw to ask its second riddle.

"What can run but never walk, have a mouth but never talk, have a head that never weepsss, and a bed that never sssleepsss?"

Kai was just about to grin as he obviously already knew the answer, but it was then that he noticed something moving behind the head of the snake, beside the altar that held the mesmerising flame.

A small, almost unnoticeable rat was creeping closer to it.

Kai blinked.

Remy must have hidden in the tunic around Petunia or something, then they must have snuck out of it while the snake wasn't watching them.

Even though Kai was happy his little rat friend hadn't been caught, he had no idea what Remy was meant to do with the altar.

Although, now that Kai thought about it, the snake did seem strangely protective of the fire...

Kai pulled his eyes away from Remy, not wanting to draw any unnecessary attention to the rat. At the same time, Kai gave a mental command to Esurient to postion themselves at the back of the cradle the flames were resting in.

Then, Kai stalled for another seconds, managing to provoke the snake to waste a little more time.

"What, little human? Unable to anssswer the riddle? Do not worry, I will be sssure to eat you in front of your companionsss, then I will eat them too."

Kai gritted his teeth, but then said.

"The answer to your riddle is a river, bitch."

The snake hissed, lunging forward in an effort to intimidate Kai, but it stopped just shy of his face.

Kai did not flinch, knowing the snake would not actually do anything to him considering they were already under the contract.

The two stared each other in the eye, neither one looking away as it would be seen as a sign of weakness.

Sadly, before anyone's mental strength could be put to the test, the limit of human eyes were quick to fall subject to the limit of snake eyes as while Kai needed to blink, a snake did not.

So Kai ended up having to give in and blink just before his eyes started watering.

Still, it was more time wasted.

Sighing, Kai thought of what riddle he would ask the snake.

It was like the snake had some sort of ability to know the answer to all riddles, so if they just kept asking each other over and over again then Kai would definitely be the one to lose.

So how did one combat something that knew all the answers anyway?

The answer to that question was simple.

To create a riddle on the spot instead of asking one that he had heard somewhere else.

"I have three eyes, but no nose, and each one is spread apart. I posses no body, no arms, no beating heart. However, one of these is always a good place to start.

What am I?"

The dull sound of his heart thumping was all could make out in the defeaning silence of the chappel.

The snake remained completely still, staring blankly at Kai with its terrifying red eyes. At first, Kai thought that it would just bite his head off, but it didn't.

It was too engrossed in trying to figure out what the answer to the riddle was.

The snake fell deep into thought, trying to figure out what the answer could possibly be. There was no way that it was about to lose to some puny human, they were the king of riddles after all, how could some random human best them at their own game?

But no matter how hard the snake tried, it just could not figure out what the answer was.

Then, it realised.

"There isss no correct anssswer. It isss a trick"

Its eyes shone gloating, the red inside growing even brighter. It hissed happily, getting ready to ask its next question.

However, that happiness was short lived after it heard Kai start laughing.

"Incorrect."

The snake's expression darkened.

"What? I am not incorrect. There isss no anssswer to your riddle."

Kai grinned.

"Yeah there is, the answer was an invitation. Three eyes, no heart or nose, but one of these is always a good place to start. After all, how can you begin if you don't get an invitation?"

The snake hissed, unhappy with the outcome.

But to Kai's shock, that was all that happened.

Kai blinked.

"Why, uh... why isn't your heart imploding?"

The snake grinned, leaning in towards Kai.

"Becaussse I do not posssesss a heart, meaning it cannot implode."

Kai cursed to himself, realising why the snake wasn't hesitant at all to sign a contract that could have been the end of its life.

But it wasn't that bad overall, he had still accomplished his goal.

"I see, so I guess that I'm going to be the one to die?"

The snake smiled.

"Yesss."

Kai returned the smile.

"Then before I do die, allow me to offer you an invitation."

The snake tilted its head curiously.

"Invitation? To what?"

Kai chuckled softly to himself, shaking his head in the process.

"Oh, you know, its a little chilly in here so I thought that I would heat it up a little, share the flames and all that. You have a whole altar of them after all, I'm sure that they would be able to warm us up."

The snake hissed menacingly.

"Do not speak of my flames!"

Kai laughed even more.

"Fine, but you might want to look behind you."

Instantly, the snake turned its head, its eyes widening in horror.

It had managed to turn around just in time to see a small rat and a levitating blade somehow tip over the cradle, making the mesmerising flames fall onto its pristine white body.