NOVEL NEXT Chapter 10: Goth
Jay
Jay could feel something pressing against her back when she woke up. It was long and thin and- oh, she’d fallen asleep on her girlfriend’s arm. Jay sat up quickly after realizing that, bringing the blankets with her.
Steph mumbled something in her sleep.
She was just so pretty, and Jay was… Jay was… well, not. Not really. Sure, she looked good after putting on a bit of makeup, but Steph just… looked pretty. Lying in bed, her hair a tangled mess, her face completely bare of any makeup, she looked stunning.
How on earth had Jay ever gotten so lucky?
Jay sat on the edge of the bed and grabbed her phone to check the time — around ten A.M.
Jay stood and made her way out to the kitchen. She wanted to do something nice for Steph. She opened up the fridge and stared blankly at the options on display. She closed the fridge then started looking through all the cupboards — even the ones she knew only had dishes. Eventually, she ended back at the fridge, staring blankly at the contents again.
What the fuck was she supposed to make?
She had days like this sometimes, where picking something to eat was completely beyond her. It would either feel like there were too many options, or, such as today, like there were only a few options, but none felt right.
“Whatcha doin’, cutie?”
Jay whirled around to find a tired looking Steph standing in the doorway to the kitchen. She gave Jay a small smile, but it didn’t quite meet her eyes. Jay frowned. Was Steph upset about something? Did Jay-
“Have you checked the freezer, Jay?” Steph asked.
Jay stared at Steph with a confused look. Freezer? Steph was upset about-
Oh, right. Freezer. There was probably food in the freezer.
With a noise of victory, Jay pulled a box of frozen pancakes out of the freezer.
“Oooo, pancakes!” Steph said. “Blueberry pancakes!”
Jay checked the packaging and… yup, blueberry pancakes.
She started pre-heating the oven while putting out four pancakes — two for her, two for Steph — on a baking sheet. She closed up the box with the remaining pancakes and put it back in the freezer.
“What’s wrong?” She asked Steph.
“Um, what?” Steph asked. “Uh, I feel like I should be asking you that, sweetie.”
Jay gave Steph a blank look. What was Steph talking-
Oh. Oh yeah.
Jay shuddered as she remembered the feelings she’d had the night before. Feeling of… revulsion? That couldn’t be right, could it? Jay had no issues at all with Steph having a penis at all. So what on earth could she be disgusted about?
“Jay?” Steph asked. “What are you thinking?”
Jay licked her suddenly very dry lips. “Uh, about last night-”
“It’s ok,” Steph said sadly. “I know it’s weird, a girl having a dick, just-”
“No!” Jay said. “No, that’s ok. That’s perfectly fine. Like- fuck, Steph, I haven’t even seen it yet! No, um… it’s kind of embarrassing.”
Steph gave Jay a sad look. “Then what-”
“I was getting hard, Steph!” Jay said. “It- I- I don’t-”
The oven interrupted Jay with a beep, letting them know it had finished heating up.
Steph
That made a lot more sense. Jay wasn’t disgusted by Steph’s dick, she was disgusted by her own dick.
“Ok,” Steph said. “So, you started feeling super dysphoric, and-”
“Wait wait wait,” Jay said. “Dysphoria? Isn’t that a trans thing? I’m not trans!”
Steph bit her lip to prevent herself from speaking without thinking over her words carefully. “You-”
“No, it’s just… God, am I a pervert?”
Staph gave Jay a confused look. “Huh?”
“No, like, it’s gross, right?”
“Huh?”
“...”
“Jay…” Steph let out a huff. “I am pretty sure that was dysphoria, but we can talk about that later.”
“But-”
“Jay, as my girlfriend or boyfriend, whichever title happens to apply-”
“Girlfriend,” Jay muttered.
“Right, yeah. As my girlfriend, when you are about to go down on me, it is actually completely fucking normal for you to be horny!”
“But-”
“It’s not weird or perverted, it is perfectly normal for you to get a little excited over sucking your girlfriend’s dick!”
Jay looked away, blushing. She busied herself by putting the pancakes in the oven — very slowly.
Steph crossed her arms under her tits. “Jay, sweetie, listen.” Jay grunted. Steph took that as her cue to continue. “I get it. I mean, I’ve never had any dysphoria about my own dick, but I’ve had plenty of dysphoria about other things.”
There was a pause as Jay watched the timer on the oven tick down. Then-
“It’s not dysphoria,” Jay said finally, sounding miserable. “I’m not trans. I’m not a girl. I’m just some stupid boy playing pretend or whatever. This whole thing is stupid, Steph. It’s so so so so so so-”
“Jay!” Steph said, interrupting her girlfriend’s rambling. “Jay, sweetie, it’s… it’s fine. If you want to end the week early, we can end the week early. You can go back to being my boyf-”
“No!” Jay said. She was hyperventilating now, looking anywhere but at Steph. “I don’t want-” she interrupted herself by taking a deep breath. “I’ll finish the week.”
Jay
Jay took several steadying breaths. “I’ll finish it,” she said. For whatever reason, the idea of stopping, of going back to being- being a guy, it… it made her feel nauseous. And that wasn’t even getting into how she kept referring to herself as ‘her’ in her own head!
She glanced at the oven’s timer. Still another five minutes left. Goddamnit, she wanted pancakes already!
“Jay?” Steph said in a concerned voice. “Are you sure?”
Jay nodded. “I’m sure,” she said quietly. She winced at the sound of her own voice. It sounded so deep and so wrong and Steph’s voice was so pretty and-
“Ok,” Staph said softly. “Do you… do you want to put on some makeup again?”
Jay hesitated, watching at the timer ticked down some more.
4:07
4:06
4:05
4:04
4:03
4:02
4:01
4:00
3:59
3:58
“Sure,” she whispered. She wasn’t sure if Steph heard her, so she nodded.
“We can do that after breakfast, then,” Steph said. “Can I hug-”
Jay stumbled towards Steph, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Steph said.
Jay just rested her head on Steph’s shoulder, letting out a long exhale.
The pancakes were really good. After taking them out of the over, they immediately drenched them in syrup and chowed down.
Since Jay had been the one to prepare breakfast, Steph started washing the dishes while Jay waited anxiously on the couch. She would have helped, but the sink wasn’t that big.
It wasn’t long before Steph was finished. She walked over to Jay, a gleam in her eye.
“Come on, cutie,” Steph said. Jay really liked when Steph called her a cutie. “Let’s go put some makeup on that cute face of yours.”
Jay accepted Steph’s outstretched hand, and Steph led her back to Steph’s bedroom. The bed was still a complete mess, and the skirt Jay had been wearing on Friday night was still balled up on the floor. Steph directed Jay to sit at her desk, and Jay followed her directions.
Steph hummed, pursing her lips a little.
“What are you thinking?” Jay asked nervously.
“How do you feel about a more goth look, Jay?”
“Um, goth?”
“Yeah. Goth. Alt. That sort of thing. Like some heavy winged eyeliner and some dark lipstick. I bet you’d look really cute in black lipstick, actually.”
Jay just nodded along as Steph started pulling out various makeup products.
“Alright, concealer first,” Steph said, pulling the brush out of a tube of some peach coloured fluid Jay vaguely recognized from the day before. She applied it to Jay’s face, before patting away to even it out over Jay’s skin.
Steph continued applying various products to Jay’s face — some sparkly eye shadow, black eyeliner, dark purple lipstick. But that wasn’t everything. No, Steph started digging around in her closet. She handed Jay various items including — were those fishnets?!
“Steph, I’m not sure…” she trailed off. She looked at the clothes bundled in her arms. She stood, dropping them onto the bed. She picked each one up one by one — fishnets included. There was a ripped pair of dark jean shorts, a shirt that seemed way too short to Jay, a pair of cotton panties, a bra that Jay wasn’t entirely sure about wearing since she didn’t exactly have breasts at the moment (she tried not to dwell on that fact), and… three pairs of socks? Two of the pairs were bulky and grey, like work socks. The third was much less bulky with black and purple stripes.
“Um, you’ve, uh, given me a bit too many socks,” Jay said in a dry tone of voice.
Steph giggled. “Oh, the grey pairs aren’t for your feet. You don’t have to use them, but you can put them in that bra to, uh, make it look like you have boobs.”
“Oh.” Jay’s face felt hot. “I guess that makes sense.”
“I used to do that, actually, back before doing that hurt my actual boobs once they started growing.”
Jay gathered up the clothes — still including the fishnets, for whatever reason — and made her way over to her bedroom to put them on.
She stripped out of her pajamas, dumping them on the floor. She decided to start with the panties, since they seemed the simplest to put on. She just pulled them up her legs and that was that.
Of course, that just highlighted the part of her body that she had been panicking about just last night. Jay started to feel the panic setting in, before pushing it aside.
There had to be a solution, right? Steph still had hers, after all. Maybe she’d know what to do.
Her mind made up, and forgetting her current state of dress, Jay made her way out of her bedroom to go ask Steph.
“That was quick, cu- OH.” Steph blushed. “Um, you could warn a girl before showing up dressed like that.”
Jay blushed, remembering that she was currently wearing nothing except a pair of panties, which covered next to nothing.
“I- um- I just- Fuck. Ineedtoknowwhattodoaboutmypenis.”
Steph nodded. “Oh, yeah. Should’ve thought of that. You don’t know how to tuck.”
“Tuck?”
“It’s how you get things looking all flat down there, cutie. It’s a lot simpler for me since I don’t have balls, but, uh, yeah, I can help you out with this.”
“It’s harder with balls?”
“Yeah, uh, you need to push them into these little canals in your pelvis to get them out of the way. I don’t need to do that anymore, so I can’t, uh, demonstrate or anything. I’ll send you a link on how to do it.”
Both of them were now blushing pretty heavily.
“Ok,” Jay said. “Um, I’ll, uh, do that.”
It took some doing, but, following the directions on the pdf Steph sent, Jay had managed to get her dick and balls tucked away and secured in place with the panties.
The next challenge: putting on a bra. It was difficult, but Jay managed to get the clasp done up behind her back after fumbling around for a minute or so. She grabbed the two pairs of rolled up grey socks and slipped them into the cups.
The rest should be easier. Right?
It was. The fishnets came in two parts: a pair of fishnet leggings and a fishnet top. Jay slipped both on. The ends of the sleeves on the top had little holes she could stick her thumbs through, which looked kind of cute.
She pulled the shorts up and did them up. Finally, she slipped on the shirt and… yup, it was short. It left her entire midriff exposed. It made her feel a bit self-conscious, actually.
She took a deep breath. She could at least show Steph.
She marched out of her bedroom and over to Steph’s room.
“Whoa,” was all Steph had to say. “You’re… hot.”
Jay’s face was burning. “Really?”
“Yeah, really. Holy shit, girl.” Steph took her time looking over Jay’s body. “Mmmm, knew the crop top was a good choice. Anyway, wanna check yourself out in the mirror, hottie?”
Jay froze. She was definitely curious, but… She was also scared that if she looked, she’d manage to spot something that broke the entire image and reminded her that, deep down, under the clothes and makeup and rolled up socks, she was just… a guy.
She took a deep breath. Fuck it. Maybe it was something about this outfit, but she was feeling a bit confident.
She turned to look in the mirror.
Holy shit!
Jay wasn’t sure how long stared at the girl in the mirror. The girl who was her. Except, that couldn’t be her, right? That was no boy! That was a hot goth girl. She was everything from cute to hot. That could not be Jay, right?
Well, if she couldn’t be Jay, then she had to have a name, right? A cute name for a cute goth.
“She needs a name,” Jay whispered.
“What was that, cutie?” Steph said.
Jay pointed at the mirror, looking over her shoulder at Steph. “She needs a name,” she repeated, louder this time.
“Alright,” Steph said. “Do you want to name her?”
Really?!
A girl like that pops up in the mirror, and Jay gets to name her. Jay’s eyes widened, and she turned back to the mirror to find the goth girl had wide eyes too. Of course she did, that girl was Jay, but she had a hard time properly believing that.
What would a girl like that be named?
Tanya.
“Tanya,” Tanya said out loud. “Her name is Tanya.”