Jujutsushi Wa Yuusha Ni Narenai

Looking up, a ceiling so high it only somewhat comes into view, spread before my eyes is a gigantic Forested Dome. The exit from the Fairy Square was a wall, better said, it was like a small cave poking into a great precipitous cliff face. This magnificently vertical cliff extended to the left and right, the ends of which are out of visual range. Advancing along the walls like always, seemed quite the detour.

And spreading out in front, would be a densely packed lush forest. One could imagine hidden beyond that verdure, a torrential sum of Monsters.

But, scariest of all is the field that is known as forest. In underground passages, the view isn’t obstructed, and detecting enemies is easy. You only need to be cautious around corners and near rooms. However, inside a forest, trees and other vegetation become an infinite supply of cover, and ambushes are facilitated all the more. Yet further, the Monsters that lurk there are ones that make the forest their home. Territorial advantage is fully on the home team.

Passing through even those small Forested Domes almost made my spine freeze over. To think we’d have to walk god knows how many kilometers through that kind of place, frankly, it’s just depressing.

“—Right, let’s just go”

Still, we advance. For survival.

Brilliant white light like that of the sun shines down from the extra-large light panels affixed on the ceiling. This place is bright like midday all 24 hours of the day. Thanks to that, it’s fairly bright in the forest as well.

“I guess these Forested Domes, don’t really change much”

“I think, they got the same type of plants. But it’s possible we can find some awesome herb here, so let’s check around the vicinity for now”

For me with my Intuition Pharmacy, a forest lush in flora is like a mountain of treasure. And in fact, it’s because I found those two Redshrooms soon after I was thrown into this world, that I was able to finish off the Armor Bear.

I’m sure, there’s a bunch load of useful plants here in this forest, that are just anxious for us to find them. Shelving a modest bit of expectation in my heart, let’s get this Forested Dome capture started— but before that,

“Wait a sec Futaba-san. I got granted a new Curse, so I’d like to try that out”

“Ehh, really!? That’s amazing!”

If you ask who’s amazing, it’s pretty much Futaba-san who’s actually made use of her vocation, but yeah, getting that kind of reaction from a girl isn’t bad at all. It’s hostess club customer mentality.[1]

“Amazing or not, I won’t know till I try it but… yeah, you shouldn’t really get your hopes up”

I let her know just in case being incompetent as ever, and now I shall commence the experiment for the brand new Curse No. 5.

“Uhh first, you collect some earth”

The reason I proposed to test the new Curse as soon as we got here is primarily because the first condition was already cleared. Around here I can get my hands on all the earth I want, but in the stone built areas, its surprisingly hard to find. And just in case, we can run from here back to the Fairy Square lickety-split.

I squat down and concentrate on digging out the dirt. Futaba-san’s standing right beside me on lookout, but I guess she’s curious so she’s occasionally peeking at my hands.

“Next, you add water and make mud”

The 500ml plastic bottle filled with water we planned to drink along the way, is all used up all of a sudden. It should be fine to get it refilled after. It’s a pain though.

“Once the mud is made, let’s now shape it into human form”

Taking the mound of mud, I knead it into parts like back in kindergarten. It’s saddening that I have to start making mud balls after coming all this way in the dungeon, but I convince myself that this too is a necessity, and seriously build it into a human shape.

It’s not clay but mud, so it’s impossible for it to have self-support like figure models. A head and limbs of mud laid on top of the ground like a relief is the limit. The size is more or less 30 cm.

“You’ve made it here, just a bit more. You can do it”

“Hey, Momokawa-kun, who are you explaining all this to?”

“Ah, please don’t talk to me for a bit. This is the explanation flowing into my brain”

“S-sorry…”

Futaba-san finally retorted looking at me talking to myself like I’m explaining some children’s toy, but I’d like her to understand than I’m not messing around here. Really this, if I don’t speak it out while doing it, I feel like I’ll forget the invocation procedure.

The aria is deeply engraved into my head but, it’s likely, that this explanation is a one-off thing. I don’t know the theory behind it, but it’s designed annoyingly like this. Well, it’s not like the steps are difficult, so I’ll remember it if I do it once.

“Now that you’ve made a splendid human form, let’s now add some of your blood”

Adding in blood, it’s kinda gotten Curse-like. Maybe it’s finally time to unleash, right here, the powers of a true curse. Getting a bit excited.

“Eh, b-blood…”

“I guess I need to cut my finger here. It’s great we got the ointment”

Hii, goes Futaba-san as she turns subtly blue in the face watching me cut my finger, to the point I can’t imagine she’s the same Berserker who massacred all those Goma. This isn’t like, one of those, look I’m cute, acts that girls do right?

With those light suspicions, I swipe the boxcutter over my left hand middle finger. And soon enough, a ball of fresh blood forms and drops land on the mud person. Huh, how much is some blood supposed to be anyway, I don’t really get it… hmm, several drops should be ok.

“And then you simply recite the aria, oh, is that it for prep work?”

Leaving my fingertip’s first-aid for later, I prioritize invoking the Curse.

“Rise from chaos, bind in foul blood, stand on stained earth— Vile Mud Doll”[2]

After chanting the aria without break, the change starts.

The blood that had soaked into the mud without a trace, started rising and bubbling on the human shape. Me and Futaba-san both went “Uwah!?” inadvertently at the disgusting process.

Blood boiled and enveloped the entirety of the human shape— wait, this is clearly more blood than the amount I dropped, the hell’s goin’ on. Anywho, I don’t get the logic, but the human shape was now dyed crimson in blood, or so I thought or not, but this time, the bubbles of red all disappeared like water being sucked into the ground.

“…Eh, it’s over?”

I voice a doubt after around 10 seconds of silence, but just then, the human shape moved.

“Woah, this, it moved!?”

A voice of surprise is raised a 2nd time.

That which was a plain human shaped clump of mud until just now, stood up. As if slipping out from the mold on the ground, the Mud Doll mechanically rose to its feet.

Its form, was slightly deviated from that human shape that I had constructed, the head was strangely bigger, the limbs like that of an infant, like a 4 head-lengths distortion design.[3]

“W-wow… Momokawa-kun, so this is…”

“Ah, yep, you guessed it, this is the Vile Mud Doll”

Vile Mud Doll     A Puppet that moves to the will of its master. Absolute Obedience.

For now, this is all I get for mental description. As always, it basically says obvious things you can tell at a glance, so as for what this thing can do, or if it can use any special techniques or magic, all the important bits are left in the dark.

Also, it’ll only move according to me, is what it said in my brain. So like this, I can make a giant robot mud golem, or something, at this point, I don’t buy it.

“Ehm, so, how do you move this thing?”

This kind of thing, rather than voice command, having it move by thinking about it should be the standard… for starters, start walking!

“Wah, it’s moving, Momokawa-kun!”

“Ohh, you’re right!”

On this rare occasion where something actually went according to my expectations, the Mud Doll swiftly moved its short legs and started walking. It started circling around my legs. Seems like it’ll keep moving until it turns to butter if I don’t tell it to stop.

“Stop”

I said, and it stopped. It’s unknown whether it heard my voice, but it’s unmistakeable that my will is transmitted with something like telepathy. No, this Mud Doll doesn’t have an ego so I should think of it like a radio controlled gadget.

Now then, how precise is this thought control method, this calls for a test. I say that, but what should I make it do? Hmm, thinking to deeply seems useless, so for now, I’ll just try whatever comes to mind.

“Radio Calisthenics No.1”[4]

As that hope-filled morning melody, a tune any Japanese countryman knows, resonates through my mind, matching the rhythm, the Mud Doll starts doing the Raise your Arms and Stretch your Back.

“And, one, two, three, four—”

“Woah, amazing, it’s really doing radio calisthenics!”

The Mud Doll was different from some lazy brat, and performed the exercise with proper modicum. I didn’t have that clear of an image, but it correctly deciphered the information in my head, and moved with seemingly practiced motions.

“Yup, something like that”

“Ah, we’re stopping?”

Futaba-san looks a bit disappointed. Doing all the radio exercises right here is a bit waste of time after all. Also, the 2nd exercise has some embarrassing poses so I don’t really remember anything but the first part.

“Operation gets full points, but the problem is power, right”

“Yeah, it doesn’t look too strong”

Exactly. This here looks to be as fragile as the appearance denotes.

I try touching it, and it’s the same feeling of mud I felt when I was collecting it. Gaining any sort of special hardiness, wasn’t included.

“Anyway, let’s keep walking together along with this. It won’t put up much of a fight, but should be good for a lure or something.”

Thereupon, We, along with the as per usual unreliable Curse-made Mud Doll, dove into the deep forest spread out before my eyes.

“Still, feels like we’d get lost if we go just a bit off track…”

Now, walking inside the forest, the sense of direction is all but lost. Everywhere I turn, it’s trees, trees, trees… nothing distinguishable about them.

If we weren’t on this animal trail, we wouldn’t have a clue as to which way to go.

“Ah, wait a bit”

“Ok”

As I raise a voice to stall, Futaba-san immediately comes to a stand still. Having awakened as a Berserker, she would no more follow along shivering while gripping onto my clothes’ corners, but would boldly walk ahead and lead the advance. With her sub-weapon of the hatchet in one hand, she cut away the foliage obstructing our route, looking at it from behind she seemed quite sturdy. In fact, her back was wider than twice my own.

Why I stopped the advance was for none other than harvesting.

The discovery being Redshrooms that are known to pack enough power to kill an Armor Bear, and the other thing that was evidently expended, the Shamdelion. And gleefully, like those granpas and grannys that venture out to pick wild edibles, I began harvesting the poisonous mushrooms and inconspicuous weed-like herbs.

I won’t be letting Futaba-san help out here. Her role is look out. It wouldn’t be strange if the head of an Armor Bear pops out suddenly from the bushes over there.

In her place, the one being my picking partner is this Vile Mud Doll, but its efficiency could only be described as lacking.

“Hmm, this is a serious power deficiency”

Picking a single Redshroom or a single bundle of Shamdelions took all its might. I guess as long as the body itself is mud, the max strength would be up to the point where the mud wouldn’t break.

I’d like to praise it for using its whole body, trying to extract the items with maximum effort, but then, me using the boxcutter to cut them out would be leagues faster.

“Ok, this is enough. Let’s go”

After finishing up some collecting not too far from the animal trail, finally, I tie one of the strips of Goma cloth to a nearby tree. It’s a just-in-case sign for back-tracking.

After that, I guess another hour passed. Similar to the forest way back when, this place also had its ups and downs, large roots on the way, claiming up, going under, it wasn’t that easy of a route. So though I say one hour, it’s not like we got that far.

The average walking speed of a Japanese is around 5 km(~3.1 miles). But that’s the case when it’s a flat road withe no obstacles, not a forest where Mr. Bear can pop out anytime, so our speed is probably half of that or less.

“Around here, let’s take a break”

I’m kinda out of breath, and so decided to stop for a bit.

Fortunately, the Mud Doll has enough speed and stamina to match our pace, and right now, it’s beside me sitting with knees up as if in standby mode.

On the other hand, Futaba-san looks fine. I could make a guess that it has something to do with the Berserker vocation.

The Berserker’s three Novice Skills are listed below:

Berserk Body     A body, knowing only slaughter

Blood Boost        Blood boils forth, to fight with no end

One who Hears Hear the voice from afar. Reject not, rampage not, listen to it with certainty [5]

The trouble is, the one and only hint that that can give us a clue as to what the effects of these abilities are, the descriptions coming to mind, every last one of them was like something that someone like I, from the literature club and afflicted with chuunibyou, would write down, a collection of indecipherable flavor text, and that, was fatal. This set of phrases, are practically useless.[6]

What part and how much does Berserk Body strengthen? What amount does Blood Boost increase the blood. What’s the rate per hour? Is there an upper limit? There’s way too many questions.[7]

And here comes the worst, this mystery skill called One who Hears. This, in the first place, I don’t even know where to use this. Exactly what is this Skill for, with what kind of timing do you activate it, I don’t get anything at all. Voice from afar, literally whose voice is this! Get me the VA(voice actor/actress) dammit!

Anyway, leaving aside my complaints to the literary hack of a Berserker God, it’s about that Berserk Body that incurs an effect on Futaba-san’s physical strength. I think, it’s likely somehow strengthening her, but Futaba-san herself doesn’t seem to understand much about it she said.

Futaba-san bashing around the Goma, clearly looks stronger than she was before, is my impression, But maybe it’s her original strength wielded to perfection with the supplement of courage.

And so, whether or not this Berserk Body is supplying the stamina so that she wouldn’t get tired after walking for a while, is also something I can’t be certain of.

Well whatever it may be, the current Futaba-san has the super-strength to pop off Goma heads bare-handed, so lets just keep it there. Whether this powerup is a result of growth and augmentation of base status numbers, or because of some Skill, the origin, in this case, doesn’t really matter.

“Momokawa-kun, are we going ahead?”

“Hmm, shouldn’t we? There hasn’t been any Monsters, maybe we can pass the whole forest like this…“

It’s somewhat worrying. I’d have thought we’d get into a fight or two on the way, but the route was peaceful.

“How’s the Compass? We’re not off track right?”

“We’re good, the direction and the trail is still matching”

I’ve been frequently confirming the direction with the Magic Compass. Since its direction was spot on along the animal trail, our hike has been relatively easy.

With that thought, I think it’s fine to go along the animal trail until it diverges from the direction for today.

“No, maybe this trail, it’s one that someone else cut open before us”

“Maybe it’s Class Rep and the girls…”

“Could be Higuchi too”

As both of us inadvertently voiced out names we have some history with, the air got a little awkward. But as a possibility, there’s no denying it. Higuchi gang and Class Rep Team, there’s no doubt that both are ahead of us.

“A-anyway hey, Futaba-san, after this w—”

I opened my mouth as if to imply that we shouldn’t give a damn about those people, but right then, Futaba-san abruptly stood up.

We were taking a break, tree trunks to our backs, sitting opposite to each other. Futaba-san was now standing up, her brows knit, and though not to the level of her rampage… her face got scary.

Wait, what, did I maybe, say something bad? Was reminding her of Class Rep that much of a landmine?

“Ah, Um, Futaba-san?”

In her silence, towards me, she takes a step. Her hand draws the hatchet at her waist.

Eh, no way, for real. Wait, please wait, let’s talk, let’s talk ok? Let’s separate from the weapon, and the distance too, let’s calm down and talk it out Futaba-san.

Of course my thoughts don’t go across, an Futaba-san swings her hatchet.

“EH, WAI—”

Faced with such a sudden attack, I had no time to prepare for death, and the blade of the hatchet made a dull sound of severing meat.

“It’s fine now, Momokawa-kun”

“…Eh, what is?”

As I timidly open the eyes I shut hard the moment the hatchet swung, I find, smiling with a single bead of cold sweat running down her cheek, her face before my eyes.

A beat later, I realize. Doesn’t hurt. Nothing hurts, and there’s no blood. What Futaba-san cut, wasn’t me.

“It’s a big snake, look. Even if there’s no poison, it’ll be bad if something like this bites you”

Fuu~, she lets out a delicate breath, and from right beside me, Futaba-san takes the snake, whose head was split with the hatchet, into her hands.

Uwah, didn’t notice at all. Even when this big a snake got right into my breathing space.

“T-thanks… saved me there”

Attuning to the sense of danger of something secretly closing in on my body, I feel my face dripping in sweat.

This is a forest in another world. Not only Monsters, there’s myriads of other dangerous animals inhabiting these parts. There’s nothing strange about a snake of two crawling around, and there’s not helping an amateur to survivalism like me getting closed in by one such animal.

So, I can really die here just like that, once again apprehending such a fact, I shivered in fear. No, seriously, thank you Futaba-san.

“Fufu, you’re welcome”

Replies Futaba-san with a cheerful smile like an angel, while taking the head-split snake, and uses the hatchet to land another strike. With a sound of slashing, the snake’s head drops.

Futaba-san kicks the snake’s detached head like a pebble, and as it disappears beyond the thicket, She grabs the tip of the neck portion of the rest of the body, and then proceeds to tear off the skin with all her strength as if trying to destroy it. Seeing her smooth movements, I’m in mute amazement as, contrary to expectations, the snake was now cleanly skinned.

“Ehm, Futaba-san, what’re you doing?”

“This snake, I thought we could eat it maybe”

Its skin smoothly slid off, Futaba-san suspends the snake onto a nearby branch like a length of rope. Dark red blood started dripping out from the severed area on the neck. This must be that blood draining thing.

“Eh, we’re, eating this?”

“Eh~, you won’t eat it?”

The hell, she’s acting like I’m the one who’s strange for not wanting to eat it. In the first place, this could be a poisonous snake, and trying to eat it is like, too much of a challenge or…

“A plain old snake. It’s a weakling and there’s no poison, so you can eat it just fine… Err, ah, this snake, looks like we can eat it, that’s good”

“Really? Yay~”

Intuition Pharmacy went off, and again, it was this careless kind of explanation, which confirmed that this snake was suitable as food. With definite proof that we can eat it, Futaba-san is absolutely thrilled. Looking to the snake corpse dripping in blood. Way too wild for a highschool girl from current day Japan.

“Futaba-san, so, how do we eat this”

“Hmm, there’s no choice but roasting I guess. We don’t have salt or pepper, and without the seasoning it won’t taste that good… but we should still get in the meat content”

“Aah, now that you mention it, we’ve only been having walnuts haven’t we”

We can believe the information that it’s packed with nutrition, but no matter how you look at it, only those won’t be able to maintain your fitness of body. We’re not squirrels. We need our proper helping of protein.

“Yeah, the path ahead of here, should take us a while I think. So, it’ll be great if we can eat our fill”

You’re damn right. And there aren’t any cracks in that perfectly constructed line of argument, but then a roar was unleashed from Futaba-san’s rotund middle, and it became a big fail.

“So Futaba-san wanted to have meat this much”

“Don’t say iiiit!!”

While regretting that rude slip of tongue, I thought that from now, I should employ Intuition Pharmacy to also see if the Monsters we kill are edible too. Well, even if they are, I wouldn’t put my mouth anywhere near a Goma though.

________________________

[1] Cabaret/Hostess club It’s like a mellowed down strip club? I wouldn’t know >.>

[2] 汚濁の泥人形 — Odaku no Doro Ningyou — Vile Mud Doll. The Vile part has the meaning of pollution, contamination, corruption etc.

[3] It’s the kid 2nd from the right. Eh, nsfw? it’s educational! Erm, Simply said, the head is 1/4 of the body.

[4] Example, I guess people know Radio Taiso if you’ve seen enough jap media. In fact, it’s even a big thing in Re: Zero (lol).

[5] … this is hard. I’ll say this first, I’m not sure about the romaji pronunciations. So ok, 狂躯 — Kyou Mukuro — Berserk Body. The first part is straight forward, Kyou ~ Berserk, but the second part, Mukuro means dead body, but I based it to be similar to Blessed Body, so the end result is like that.

Next is 増血 — Zou Chi — Blood Boost, Zou is increment, and Chi is blood.

Finally, 声を聞く者 — Koe o Kiku Mono — One who Hears. This one’s just… anyway, literally, one who hears the voice, I shortened it for aesthetic reasons, I don’t think the nuance is too different, its a pretty out there name in the first place. The description for this one is iffy as well.

[6] I’d think you know what chuunibyou is. I could call it being colorful of mind…

[7] So he says Berserk Body strengthens, sure there’s some truth to it but it’s also a pun/hearing discrepancy since there’s Kyou in Kyou Mukuro and Kyouka (strengthen). It’s likely that he heard the names and descriptions from Futaba, so the miscommunication is valid?