I've been waiting for you forever

"How about we grab a bite to eat?" Eliza suggested as she leafed through the room service menu, poring over the various choices among the dishes of the day.

Arthur had finished washing himself while Eliza changed the sheets (with gloves, of course) and had come out of the bathroom in a bathrobe and rummaged through the bags with an almost childish curiosity to choose what to wear.

The choice had finally fallen on a simple pair of jeans and a soft dark cashmere sweater; even though Eliza had chosen a size small, the clothes still hung on Arthur because he was so thin.

It occurred to Eliza that Arthur must be hungry for a proper meal, so she had suggested that Arthur have lunch with her. She imagined that he didn't want to go down to the living room and would prefer the quiet and privacy of his room, so she had already had the phone receiver ready in her hand to order room service, but before dialing the number she glanced at Arthur to catch a nod to her question.

She was surprised to see him with red cheeks, twisting his hands together nervously. Arthur's next question took her even more by surprise:

"You mean… you mean like on a date?"

Eliza was taken aback for a few seconds, but finally chose to answer honestly: "Well, that's not exactly what I meant, but it can be a date, if we want. If you want."

Arthur offered a shy smile, still a little uncertain, but found the courage to answer: "I'd like to. Do you want to…?"

"Get to know you better? Yes, I would."

Arthur smiled a little wider. No one had ever cared about getting to know him, not really, not the simple story of Arthur Fleck. People were interested in getting to know Joker, not the real him. Even with Lee, the only love of her life, it had been like that: she only wanted Joker, the man behind the clown makeup had never mattered to her.

But Eliza didn't want to get to know a murderer.

Eliza had seen him at one of his most vulnerable moments and yet he was still there. She hadn't run away, she wasn't horrified or even scared. She still wanted to know him, despite everything.

Arthur had been a reason to run away for many people, never to stay.

Why had Eliza stayed? He didn't know the answer to that question, but he accepted it as a gift.

He stopped wondering why and lost himself in the joy of the moment. It was nice to share lunch with Eliza.

In the end they chose to order takeout from a nearby Japanese restaurant because the hotel chef's dishes had strange names that Arthur had never heard of before and he had no idea what to order; Eliza casually saved him from the embarrassment by saying that she had changed her mind, that the food was definitely better at that Japanese place where she had been a while ago for her grandmother's birthday.

He also ordered for him, and his culinary choices proved to be successful, because Arthur devoured every last crumb of his portions, and even stole some grilled meat ravioli from Eliza's plate, who pretended to be angry but eventually laughed and told him not to worry, that she wasn't hungry anymore anyway.

Arthur tried to use chopsticks and Eliza patiently explained to him how to do it, also offering several practical examples; it turned out to be an unsuccessful undertaking, but Arthur still had fun trying.

They sat on the small sofa at the end of the bed, without touching but close, and unconsciously they got closer and closer to each other, as if guided by an invisible magnetic force.

Once they had finished eating they continued to chat for a long time, oblivious to the passing time.

"So... what about you?" Arthur began, a little agitated. He had never been on a date before, so he felt a little awkward and uncomfortable, but he told himself there was no reason to be so anxious. Talking to Eliza had been so easy last night, there was no reason it shouldn't be now.

"I already know you're rich," he added quickly, instantly regretting having said it with that note of acid contempt in his voice. Being rich wasn't a crime. Not all people with lots of money were horrible. Eliza was kind to him. She was different from Thomas Wayne, from the so-called well-born people with immaculate exteriors but rotten and cruel insides. Eliza was different from the rest of the world, Arthur had seen that from the first time they spoke.

In fact, Eliza didn't seem offended by his barely suppressed anger in her tone. She just chuckled softly and replied, "You're right, my family doesn't have money problems. My father worked his way up through honest hard work…"

"Really?"

Arthur didn't mean to be rude, but Eliza didn't get angry, instead she laughed it off. "No. He's a lawyer."

Arthur burst into laughter, before covering her mouth with her hand. "Sorry, that's not funny."

"It is." Eliza smiled, but there was a hint of sadness in the crease of her lips. "It's funny because it's the truth. It's not an honest job. A lawyer makes a living by lying. That's not always the case, but most of the time it ends up being that way."

"Your father isn't an honest person, then?"

"He never was. In fact, I'd go so far as to say he's the least honest person I know. You know, he cheated on my mother when I was really little. I don't think I've ever forgiven him for how much he hurt her. Sometimes I think he's still cheating on her, but I can't hate him. He may be a terrible husband, but he's a good father. He really loves me, and I love him back. It's weird, being so angry but not being able to actually be angry." Eliza took a deep breath, as if trying to swallow all the tears she wanted to shed, and feigned a light tone. "Okay, that's my boring, sad little story."

"You didn't bore me," Arthur said quickly. "I mean it. And my story is so much sadder than yours anyway." Arthur's smile was fake and frayed as he tried to pretend to suppress the pain that had consumed him his entire life. "I wanted so badly to believe that my life story was a comedy, but the truth is, it's a fucking tragedy. It always has been."

"Do you want to tell me?"

That was the hardest question Arthur had to answer. He had to have the strength to trust Eliza and trust that she wouldn't run away once she learned about his horrible past. Arthur was afraid, but in the end he chose to trust her and simply said, "Yes."