NOVEL NEXT chapter 21
21. Past Conversations Over Drinks
What’s the right response?
Should I respond with good intentions? No, she wants to hear about my past, not my response.
It’s awkward to touch on this topic. Let’s avoid talking about my likes and dislikes for now.
“There’s a lot to talk about in the past. Where do I even start?”
“How about stories from when Kyle was a kid?”
“When I was a kid… I think that’s not a story for a drinking session.”
“Even so, I want to hear it. I want to know why Kyle became a mercenary.”
Honestly, I don’t want to talk about my childhood memories.
Even now, I sometimes have nightmares about it. It’s a memory of when I was powerless and couldn’t do anything.
“That’s right. I was a kid who got arrogant about my talents.”
“Looking at Kyle now, I can’t imagine it.”
“I’d be no good if I still had that arrogance now.
Back then, I had more talent than others. Among kids of the same age, I had the highest physical abilities and could study well.
I also put in effort, but I got complacent about my talents. I was praised as a genius and got carried away.”
“It seems like there was an incident that broke your arrogant nose.”
“That’s right. Pour me a cup?”
“Yes, please.”
I took a sip of the liquor Sasha poured for me. It’s different from before; the alcohol is a bit stronger, with a hint of sweetness and a refreshing taste. Not bad.
At times like this, I hate not getting drunk. It’s a bit too sober to talk about the past.
“I was 7 years old. The village I lived in was attacked by bandits. I survived because my family protected me, but everyone else died. Even now, I think about it. If I had tried harder, things might have been different.
In the end, I was just 7 years old. Nothing would have changed, anyway.”
I poured myself a drink and downed it in one gulp.
I don’t like talking about the past. It’s like being forced to confront my own weaknesses.
Sasha didn’t say anything. She just looked at me straight in the eye, as if she was worried about me…
“How about you, Sasha? Want a drink?”
“Yes, I’ll have one.”
As I watched her drink, I remembered.
Rizette-san also used to drink a lot. It was always on nights when we had a fight. I never saw her drink on any other day.
“What happened after that? Did you live alone?”
“No, I was taken in by a mercenary group. Rizette, an aunt-like figure, was part of it.”
What would have happened if I hadn’t been taken in by Rizette-san back then?
Would I have honed myself with a vengeance for my family’s death? Would I have lived with the sole purpose of revenge?
No, before that, I was just 7 years old. This world isn’t kind enough to let a kid with no guardian survive. I would have probably died somewhere…
“The reason I became a mercenary is because my foster parent was a mercenary. I belonged to a group called ‘Emerald Wind’.”
“That mercenary group was… wasn’t it destroyed by demons 3 years ago?”
“Yes. I broke away from them at 20 and never saw them again, but I was shocked and regretful when I heard about it through rumors.”
“If I hadn’t left, could I have saved them?”
“That’s the kind of thinking that hasn’t changed from back then to now. I’m not facing reality.”
“People tend to avert their eyes from things they don’t want to see. If we can face it, isn’t that enough?”
“That’s how it is.”
Sasha poured me a drink. I took the bottle from her and poured it into her cup.
We clinked our glasses together and took a sip. The taste was subtly sweet, but the memories of the past were still bitter.
“My foster parents were mercenaries, so I naturally became one too. I first went to the battlefield when I was 10. Our job was to eliminate bandits.”
“Weren’t you scared?”
“I think I was scared until I got to the battlefield. But once the fight started, I was completely focused. I killed someone for the first time back then. The feeling of taking a life didn’t disappear, and it made me feel sick to my stomach.”
I vomited while being comforted by Rizette-san. It was around that time that Mirabelle started appearing. I couldn’t talk about that.
“That’s just a story from my childhood. After that, I continued to work as a mercenary until I was 20, fighting on battlefields and hunting monsters. We’ve talked about this before, haven’t we?”
“Yeah, I think we have. You saved an elf who was kidnapped around the age of 15, didn’t you? Maybe that elf was Noel?”
That was 13 years ago.
When my mercenary group was taking a break in town, I saw a young elf being dragged away in an alley. There were people around, but only I noticed.
It turned out later that it was a relatively large-scale kidnapping group. Their goal was to sell the elf to slave traders.
At the time, I desperately tried to save her. There were more of them than I thought, and some were stronger than me.
Looking back, I think I should have asked my mercenary friends for help. I tried to be a hero on my own, and the elf I was trying to save got hurt, taking a blow on her back. I was weak back then.
It’s good that we made it out, but we could have both died.
Did that experience drive me to become stronger? I wanted to obtain the strength to protect.
“I wonder. I don’t clearly remember the face of that elf, so it’s possible that it was Noel.”
“It was 13 years ago, so Noel would have been 7 years old then. It’s possible that the kidnapping incident led her to hate humans.”
“We can’t know for sure unless we ask Noel.”
But she wouldn’t talk about it, so it remains a mystery. The earrings Noel is wearing look similar to the ones I gave her back then, but they’re common, so it’s hard to say.
Did I give those earrings to Rizette-san as a gift? If the elf I saved back then was Noel, she would be angry.
“This is a boring story, isn’t it? It’s not even worth talking about.”
“But I wanted to know, and I’m glad I did.”
Sasha poured me another drink. I took a sip, feeling the liquor spread through my mouth.
“By the way, when was Kyle’s first experience?”
“*Cough*!”
I managed to hold back my laughter. What kind of question is that, all of a sudden?
We were just talking about my dark past, and now you’re asking about this? Can’t you read the mood?
No, it’s the opposite. I was getting dark, and Sasha changed the subject. But even so, this question is unnecessary.
“What’s with the sudden…?”
“Aren’t you curious? It’s about the person I like, after all. If it hasn’t happened yet, then we’re even, right?”
I don’t need that kind of information.
“It’s not my first time, Sasha. It was about 10 years ago. I think it was with a fellow mercenary.”
“Oh, that’s a shame. Was it a romantic partner from back then?”
“No, we were close, but not romantically involved. We were both high on adrenaline after a battle, and it was a crude thing to do.”
“That’s how it is. Aw, we’re not even, huh?”
Sasha looked dissatisfied with my answer. Do people want to be their partner’s first, or something?
I’ve been distant from that kind of thing since my past life. Even Mirabelle warned me, saying, “You’ll get hurt someday, so be careful with your relationships.”
“Are you saying you don’t have a lover or a wife?”
“I don’t. I had one around 21, but we broke up immediately. That’s the last time we met.”
“You had a lover, huh?”
Sasha pouted, looking dissatisfied. Unfortunately, not having a lover isn’t equivalent to being the same age.
I did something bad to her back then. She strongly urged me to quit being a mercenary. She had also lost her family early on, so she wanted to avoid such risks.
That’s probably the main reason we broke up. We had different perspectives.
“Are you thinking of getting a lover now?”
“I don’t have the luxury to think about that. At least, not until I solve my current problems.”
“If you want one, tell me. I won’t ask why.”
“Thanks.”
Honestly, I don’t have the time to think about lovers.
But I can’t tell Sasha that there’s a demon king among our companions. If I had a lover who was a demon king, it would be a major disappointment for women.
Currently, the one farthest from the demon king is Eclair. Next is Darl, followed by Flat.
I don’t have the luxury to think about it until I defeat the demon king. If I can get married by 30, that would be great…
“Can I ask one more thing?”
“Please, within my ability to answer.”
“About the sword you’re using…”
Sasha mentioned it, and I glanced at Durandal on the wall. I had placed it there because it was in the way when I sat down, but for a moment, it seemed to tremble. Maybe Sasha didn’t like me drinking with her.
“About Durandal?”
“That’s right, Durandal. The demonic sword Durandal. I think it was used by ‘Moving Oaf’ Takeshi, who was part of the 2nd generation hero party.”
───What a terrible nickname.