It Seems Like My Childhood Friend Has Returned

After a ruckus at the PC Bang.

We returned home, hands still held tightly together, a few days later.

Surprisingly, nothing happened. Absolutely nothing.

“What the heck?”

Was it a dream?

Even after making up at the PC Bang, we clearly seemed aware of each other.

I thought we purposely pretended not to care while holding hands tightly on the way back.

…Was it just me who felt excited?

Even now, when I close my eyes and hold hands, I can almost feel the soft warmth from that day at my fingertips.

Since then, Han Seo-ah’s attitude hadn’t changed, but something felt… regretful.

That day, we definitely felt closer to being lovers than just childhood friends.

It was as if I had awoken from a midsummer night’s dream, returning to being childhood friends.

“Haa…”

If I didn’t know this feeling from the start, maybe it would be easier.

But now that I do know, like a traveler lost in the desert, I can only yearn for the oasis that is Han Seo-ah.

Hoping to quench my thirst at the end of this journey.

I’ve been afraid of this situation, so I’ve been hiding my feelings and turning my gaze away until now.

But how does one even become lovers?

Isn’t it basically a confession when you say, “Being with you is the best…”?

Scratching my head, I searched for “how to date your childhood friend” with the help of YouTube.

The title that popped up at the top—“69 Ways to Date Your Childhood Friend Revealed!”—caught my attention, and I clicked on the video.

—But why 69 ways?

With that question swirling in my head.

Little did I know, not resolving this question would lead to a trivial mishap later on.

I was duped.

The 69 ways were nonsense.

Almost 80% of the video was unrelated chatter about childhood friends, ending with a trashy plea for subscriptions and likes.

The only useful tip was to show a different side of yourself since you’re already familiar with each other.

…Hadn’t I done that already?

In the few days since then, we had indeed shown each other something similar yet different.

Han Seo-ah showed a side of herself that wasn’t like usual, which made me not hide my true feelings either.

So what remained…?

“Only confessing?”

I let out a deep sigh.

Confession.

It’d be nice if it went well.

Just imagining Han Seo-ah as my girlfriend made my heart race; I couldn’t even begin to guess how wonderful it would feel in reality.

Surely, it would feel like I had the whole world in my hands. I could only speculate vacantly.

But,

—What if I fail?

Like Adam and Eve, tempted by the sweet serpent, if I suffered for my foolish desires.

What if my friendship with Han Seo-ah disappeared as a result?

I might spend my life longing for you or even when I meet someone else, carelessly recalling you and looking for your shadow; just thinking about it made my heart ache.

“Haa…”

This is hard.

They say confession is about confirming each other’s feelings, not about taking a plunge.

Is your heart like mine?

Whenever I look at the sides Han Seo-ah has shown me, I feel more confident that it must be true, but then I wonder: isn’t that just because we’re childhood friends? That thought spiraled in my head like a snake eating its own tail, and I felt deflated like a punctured balloon.

I sighed and curled up in bed under the covers.

Should I bury my face in the pillow and just sleep, hoping to wake up to clearer thoughts? Yet even that was thwarted by swirling worries, preventing me from drifting off.

While wrestling with my confusing emotions, I heard the front door open.

The light, cheerful footsteps approaching my room made my heart flutter, as if the chaos in my mind had vanished.

—What am I, Pavlov’s dog?

Ah, whatever, it’s fine if I am.

“Joonu!”

With a bright smile, Han Seo-ah flung open my door and came in.

Looking back, I realized I really am like Pavlov’s dog.

Just seeing Han Seo-ah smile made me grin uncontrollably.

“You’re here?”

She hadn’t promised to come over or mentioned anything, but I had no reason to not welcome her, so I greeted her with a smile.

As she naturally approached and flopped onto my bed—thud—

The bed… moved.

“What were you doing?”

—Thinking about you.

In response to her relaxed inquiry, looking up at me with a giggle, I wanted to confess right then and there.

My feelings.

“Just… hanging out.”

Hiding those thoughts, I played with Han Seo-ah’s hair that spread out like wings on the bed.

So soft.

“…Is something wrong, Joonu?”

I thought I had hidden it well, but either it was my own thought or she just knows me too well.

Seeing her eyes glimmer with concern as she looked at me made the words I had just barely swallowed surge back up.

“Nothing’s wrong.”

I laid back with a self-deprecating attitude as I said that.

Then,

“Here I come!”

Han Seo-ah said in a playful tone while moving closer to me.

Whoa, this is too close!

—We might touch.

The small bed quickly brought our breaths close enough that I could see her face right in front of me, and the sweet scent of strawberries wafted through.

It’s a face I’ve seen for a long time, but from this angle, it felt different.

Well-groomed eyebrows, twinkling eyes, a cute nose, and soft-looking lips.

And… her adorably flushed cheeks and slightly rosy ears seemed to anticipate something.

A sight so stunningly beautiful, it made my heart race fiercely.

I was so heated I worried my breath would reach Han Seo-ah.

—Ah.

I cautiously leaned back. At this distance, we might actually touch.

“Joonu.”

“…Yeah?”

Whether she knew my feelings or not, you just called me playfully as if you were simply happy.

“My neck hurts.”

“Oh, sorry. Use my pillow.”

Lost in my thoughts, I hurried to offer her my pillow, realizing I hadn’t taken care of the basics, and felt guilty when Han Seo-ah gently tugged at my sleeve.

Looking at her with a puzzled expression, she shook her head slightly, as if to say that wasn’t it.

“Hm, not that one.”

“Not that one?”

What else could it be? As I pondered, Han Seo-ah lightly tapped my arm with her finger and whispered.

“I think this pillow would be more comfortable…”

“….”

Stunned into silence by her cheeky demeanor, I stared at Han Seo-ah.

Seeing me like that made her chuckle softly.

Without thinking, I reached out.

Then, she giggled, laying her head softly on my arm.

“Is it comfy?”

I playfully asked, noticing she seemed blissful.

“Hehe… 99 points!”

With an impish expression in her voice, I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“What? Where’s the 1 point?”

It had been 100 points last time.

Curious about the missing point, I asked, and the moment before, Han Seo-ah, who had looked like a mischievous little devil, turned shy and blushed.

“…You have two arms, don’t you?”

“What?”

I didn’t get it at first and asked again, then suddenly it hit me.

Is this… what I understood right?

Not my arm being used as a pillow but the other arm, as I carefully raised it to Han Seo-ah, sending a questioning glance, and she smiled back, eyes crinkling with affection.

With every little touch on her soft hair, I felt a warmth growing in me.

Every time I petted her hair, a gentle fragrance wafted up, making me feel good.

I thought I could spend a lifetime like this.

Then, I noticed some hair snagged in Han Seo-ah’s adorable ear; as I gently pushed it back, I heard a soft hueh sound.

…That was pretty seductive.

I leaned back a bit more; it felt like my upper body was getting closer while my lower body was drifting away.

I wanted to pull Han Seo-ah in tightly and whisper my feelings of love to her, but that was likely as close as we, childhood friends, were allowed to get.

“Seo-ah.”

“Yes?”

Your blissful smile, eyes shaped like crescent moons, filled my gaze.

“Midterms are coming up soon.”

“Yeah, they are.”

“Let’s go on a trip after the midterms. For 2 days and 1 night.”

“…Just the two of us?”

If this distance was where we were now, I felt we needed to go further.

I wanted more than just childhood friends with Han Seo-ah.

“Yeah, just us.”

“…Yeah, sounds good.”

Did you feel something too?

Not even asking where we should go, you smiled bashfully and said yes; it felt like our relationship would change after this midterm wasn’t far off.

As we spent this time together in a playful yet deeply affectionate atmosphere, I made a vow.

After this midterm, I would definitely confess.

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