It Seems Like a Girl I Don’t Know Is Doing Housework at My Place. But She’s Cute, So I’m Watching Her.

The stalker’s sudden one-woman show had begun. A self-introduction followed by a formal apology for past trespassing, and then, oddly enough, a request for permission to continue said illegal activities.

I let my body sink into the bean bag as my eyes instinctively drifted upward. What the hell is even going on? The situation feels like a rollercoaster, and my head is starting to hurt.

“Uh… So, it’s Chiaki-san, right?”

“Please call me Ran! No need for the ‘san’ either!”

“Chiaki-san it is.”

“You rejected that instantly!?”

Obviously. There’s something called personal boundaries, you know.

At the very least, we’re not at the stage where calling each other by name feels appropriate. Sure, we’ve run into each other often enough that you could call us acquaintances, but this is technically our first “official” interaction.

Plus, if I start calling you by name, it’ll just make us look chummy to an outsider. You already call me “Haruto-kun” so casually, so I need to maintain some level of distance here.

“So, Chiaki-san. It’s kind of awkward for me to ask, since I’ve been ignoring you this whole time, but why are you suddenly introducing yourself and apologizing now?”

“Well, uh, my bandmates found out about all the stuff I’ve been doing…”

“I mean, at this point, you can just drop the polite language. Let’s keep it casual.”

“Oh, okay? Uh, so yeah, while I was explaining the situation to them, they suggested I at least apologize and introduce myself.”

“Uh-huh… huh?”

Nope. I thought I understood for a second, but I really don’t get it. I can see why you’d apologize, but how does self-introduction fit into this equation?

That said, dwelling on it won’t move the conversation forward. Our relationship is already… unique, to say the least. Given that, this strange flow of conversation isn’t the weirdest thing.

“Well, whatever.”

“You’re fine with that?”

What’s more important than all that is something else entirely. There’s something in this conversation that I really need to confirm, way more than the context leading to this moment.

“Hey, uh, tell me if I’m wrong, but…”

“What?”

“You’re in a band?”

“Yup.”

“And your name is Ran?”

“Yup.”

“…Are you, by any chance, a regular at the café where I work?”

“Yup… Wait, Haruto-kun, you didn’t realize until now!?”

“How could I…?”

I mean, the vibe is totally different… At the café, you look like you could be a punk rocker hanging out in Harajuku, but when you’re stalking, you give off more of a quiet, bookish ‘forest girl’ vibe. It’s not easy to connect the dots.

So, wait… One of the regulars at the café is my stalker? And of all people, it’s you? The one who’s like the embodiment of sunshine, the one who seemed the least likely to have any connection to stalking? You always had this dry, cheerful, bright personality…

“Oh, but now that I think about it, yeah. I guess there’s a certain similarity in your attitude? Like, even though what you’re doing is a bit, well, creepy, there’s this oddly carefree, kind of air-headed feeling that stays consistent.”

“Wow, that’s harsh! Is that how you see me?”

“I mean, as far as stalker evaluations go, that’s pretty generous.”

I know I’ve gotten desensitized, but the fact that I’m giving such a neutral assessment is, frankly, abnormal.

Normally, the sequence would go: immediate reporting to the police, followed by an arrest. We wouldn’t even be having a conversation at this point, and it’s a miracle I’m not lashing out.

“What made you think you’d be evaluated positively in the first place?”

“Well, Haruto-kun, you always ignored me when I broke in, so I thought that meant you weren’t too bothered by it…”

“I was super annoyed, actually. You just barely got by because you took care of the chores I hate doing.”

“I feel like I shouldn’t be the one to say this, but that mindset is really dangerous.”

“Wow, that’s a fast turnaround on the criticism.”

I really don’t want to hear that from someone who’s been trespassing. You have no right to judge me. You’re the one breaking the law here.

“So you were only letting me off the hook because I was doing housework, huh… Meg and the others were right. That’s kind of surprising.”

“I’m more surprised that your friends figured out my motivations.”

Are they detectives or something? How did they manage to analyze me so accurately? My handling of this situation is hardly typical, so how did they guess right?

“By the way, just to clarify something while we’re at it, if you were ugly, I would’ve called the cops the second I realized what was going on. I just figured you were pretty, so I decided to wait and see.”

“Pretty!? You just called me pretty!?”

“…That’s not the reaction I was going for.”

I was hoping for more of a “How dare you judge people by their looks!” response, you know? I was aiming for a drop in your opinion of me, not to boost your spirits.

“I feel like that’s a pretty scummy thing to say, though. Doesn’t it bother you at all?”

“Not at all! Sure, today’s conversation has changed my view of you, Haruto-kun. At work, you’re this fresh, polite guy, but in private, you’re kind of a funny, downbeat type. I had no idea since you kept ignoring me.”

“Why are you saying that so cheerfully?”

Is it really something to smile about? Who smiles when talking about being ignored?

“Well, I won’t deny that I try to maintain a certain public persona. But if you think I’m not who you thought I was, feel free to start hating me.”

“No way. You’ve been nothing but nice. Even though I’m aware that I’m acting out of line, you’re still willing to talk to me. There’s no reason for me to hate you, right?”

“…It just takes too much energy to be angry. Getting mad wears me out. So as long as you don’t cross a certain line, I’ll just deal with it as efficiently as possible.”

“I’m pretty sure I’ve already crossed that line.”

“You don’t get to say that.”

And if you’re aware of it, maybe stop. If we’d started off with a normal, proper interaction, we wouldn’t have ended up in such a complicated relationship.

Personally, the balance barely holds because you’re doing the housework. Without that, this would have been a police matter a long time ago.

“Well, anyway. I don’t know about you, but for me, there’s no way I’d hate you over something like this. My love is infinite!”

“….”

“Oh, are you getting embarrassed?”

“No, I’m just reflecting on how the first time in my life a girl’s confessed her feelings to me, it had to happen in such a ridiculous situation.”

“…So, Haruto-kun, I’m the first?”

“Please be ashamed of how absurd this whole thing is.”

That’s not the point. That’s not what you should be focusing on.