It is Easiest to be Obsessed by Everyone

I was 28 when I was diagnosed with testicular cancer.

“It has metastasized. We need to remove everything, including the penis.”

I said goodbye to my manhood without ever having seen a woman’s vagina in my life.

Then it was followed by a five years long battle with the disease.

I lived earnestly while fighting cancer.

“The cancer cells have spread to your bones. You should get your affairs in order.”

The doctor was straightforward from start to finish.

Even a fast-food worker would have been more enthusiastic than him.

I cried while packing up my things.

When I got tired of crying, my thoughts drifted off in strange directions.

If I had known this was going to happen, I would have gone to a brothel or something before the surgery.

I should have had all the sex I wanted before they cut it off.

Back then, I was too scared of dying to even think about that.

Now, with death looming over my head, I regretted it every day.

Ah! If only I had indulged before losing it.

And then, a miracle occurred.

[I will grant your earnest wish. Will you accept?]

[Yes / Yes]

A message suddenly appeared before my eyes.

At first, I thought I was hallucinating.

But why was there only a ‘Yes’ button?

[Time out. A random selection will be made.]

[You have selected ‘Yes.’]

My vision turned white.

When I opened my eyes again, I realized it wasn’t a hallucination.

“… Who are you?”

***

Standing before the mirror was an incredibly handsome man I had never seen before.

Is that me? I can’t believe it.

If this is a dream, please don’t let me wake up.

However, I didn’t wake up.

After three hours, I accepted the miracle.

I was Lee Chang-woo, a 22-year-old who had tried to commit suicide by overdosing on sleeping pills. This was my new life.

I found out his name and age from his ID.

What kind of guy was he? No, more importantly…

“Why would someone with this face want to kill themselves?”

Even though it was my body now, I still felt like a stranger, so it didn’t feel awkward to say things like this.

Lee Chang-woo, this bastard, was ridiculously handsome.

He exuded the aura of a celebrity.

He was about 185 cm tall with a perfect 9-head proportion.

His skin was so pale that I wondered if he had some Northern European blood, and there was not a single blemish on it.

Why would someone with a face that top movie directors would line up to cast in leading roles want to die?

“Someone like me with an average face and no manhood fought tooth and nail to live.”

I really couldn’t comprehend it.

I checked his phone to see if he left anything behind, but it was completely clean.

He had factory reset the phone before he died.

There wasn’t a single chat app installed.

“Why is it in airplane mode?”

As soon as I turned off airplane mode, the message notification count shot up.

From 0 to +999.

“He reset the phone, but there are 999 unread messages?”

It appeared like he did a factory reset right before he died.

And more than 999 messages piled up in that short time?

Curious, I opened the message inbox.

It was dizzying just from the first page.

[Oppa, what are you doing? Haha]

[Oppa, why aren’t you answering?]

[Chang-woo, your phone was off. I was so worried…]

[Oppa, let’s go see a musical together.]

[There’s a new Korean beef omakase in Samsung-dong. Wanna go? You like Korean beef…]

[Is something wrong?]

[You quit KakaoTalk and your phone is off. Did something happen?]

[Chang-woo]

[Chang-woo oppa]

[Do you want to go to a motel with me, or should I come to where you are?]

[Please pick up the phoneㅠ]

“What the hell… Why did he want to die?”

Wow! I was overwhelmed.

Damn! It wasn’t just 999.

The notification only showed +999 because it was the limit.

Even at a glance, there were more than double-digit senders.

Every single sender was a woman.

Is this what the phone of a handsome guy looks like?

Do good-looking guys normally get flooded with messages from women like this?

Wait a minute.

Maybe there’s something on his Instagram?

To find out the identity of Lee Chang-woo.

“Find account by phone number… Reset password… Oh, I need the resident registration number?”

I took out the ID from the wallet again, and then I noticed something I missed earlier.

Wait a minute.

Why is there so much cash in here?

“What did this guy do to carry around dozens of 50,000 won bills?”

The small studio made me think he might have committed suicide due to financial hardship.

But looking at his wallet, that didn’t seem to be the case.

Besides, from the text messages, there were plenty of women who would willingly take care of him.

What’s with this guy?

“Whew! There.”

As soon as I reset the password and logged into Instagram, the notification number showed +999 again.

When I opened the DMs…

“Unbelievable.”

It was a parade of flesh.

All sorts of women were sending pictures of themselves in bikinis, naked, with exposed breasts and genitalia.

Some even sent fully nude sexy poses with their faces clearly visible.

But as soon as I read a few DMs…

[Oppa! You read my DM!]

[I saw you read my DM, can you please reply? I’m worried.]

[I thought something bad happened!]

Who are these women?

Were they dropping by every second to see if I, or rather Lee Chang-woo, read their DMs?

No way, right? Maybe they just happened to check, and it showed as read.

Suddenly feeling nervous, I exited the DMs.

“Except for one, he turned everything to private.”

I skimmed through the old photos.

Even the roughly taken selfies exuded an ‘I’m handsome’ aura.

He really looked like he could be, no, should be, an actor.

To think someone with this face would commit suicide.

Chang-woo, you really committed a great sin.

Do you realize that?

“As time went on, he started covering his face with stickers.”

One could see the trend on Instagram.

At some point, Lee Chang-woo turned all his photos with his face visible to private.

The photos he posted after that all had stickers covering his face.

Occasionally, you could see pictures where his face was partially visible, but it didn’t look like he’d been injured or had plastic surgery.

It seemed he had started feeling burdened about showing his face.

Of course, my assumptions might be a bit off, considering I ended my life as an average-looking virgin cancer patient.

“Even then, he turned everything private except for the last photo.”

The last remaining photo was a picture of food.

Juicy beef sizzling on a charcoal grill.

I guess he really did like omakase.

He even disabled comments on it.

Maybe that’s why his DMs and inbox were blowing up.

“Lee Chang-woo, what the hell were you up to?”

Shouldn’t there be something if I look through his stuff?

But it was strange.

Besides a simple bedding setup, there was almost nothing.

Just a small carry-on-sized suitcase.

The suitcase contained clothes, towels, and toiletries.

There was no clue about what Lee Chang-woo had been doing.

There was a passport, but it was brand new with no exit records. It was issued recently.

“Did he suddenly feel like traveling abroad? But it got canceled?”

Besides his ID, driver’s license, and cash, there was nothing in his wallet.

There were no business cards from other people, not even a common coupon.

“Seriously, what did this guy do?”

At this point, I became determined.

Maybe there were clues in the messages sent by the women, so I sat down and started reading them.

With iMessages, the sender can’t see if you’ve read them, so I could skim through comfortably.

With over a thousand messages piled up, the thought of reading them all made my head spin.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Then I heard the sound of someone entering the door code.

Who is it? How do they know the code?

I was looking around for something I could use as a weapon, but I froze when I saw the visitor.

“Oppa, I brought the burgers you asked for.”

She was unbelievably pretty, to the point where it seemed impossible to imagine a person could look like that.

She was about 160 cm tall with arms and legs that were as long and slender as a doll’s.

Long straight hair that could drive men crazy.

A figure that was just slightly above average in volume, and a nice hip line stood out the most.

The flat, white belly peeking out from under her crop top was slim as if her fat cells had gone extinct.

Is she crazy too? She has the looks of a celebrity.

Wait! Could we be living together? Is she Lee Chang-woo’s girlfriend?

Wow! I better not slip up and say something wrong here.

“Why are you looking at me like that? Do you not like the burger? Or is there something else you’d prefer to eat?”

Wait, her tone is too formal.

It doesn’t seem like we’re living together after all.

Even though I was a former incel who lost his manhood, I could tell.

The way this woman was treating Lee Chang-woo wasn’t how you treat someone close.

“Excuse me.”

“Yes? Oppa, why are you suddenly speaking formally? Did I do something wrong?”

“No. It’s not that…”

“I’m sorry. If you tell me what I did wrong, I won’t do it again next time. Did I make the text message too long, and it upset you? I’m really sorry. I won’t do it again.”

Hold on a second.

Something flashed through my mind, so I quickly turned on the phone and checked the messages.

<1 day ago>

[010 **** ****] This is Hyena. Should I bring a Bulgogi Double Burger set tomorrow and come at 4:30? I think I might be about 30 minutes early, is that okay?

[Me] Exactly 4:30.

[010 **** ****] Got it.

[010 **** ****] I’m coming up now.

I remembered this because it was the only reply Lee Chang-woo had sent after the factory reset.

And she thought that was too long of a message, and that was why I was upset?

She said she wouldn’t do it again?

That beautiful girl was acting like she committed a grave sin and watched me anxiously. 

Why does my heart ache so much because of this…?

Ah! Suddenly, I snapped to attention.

I understand now why I told her to come at exactly 4:30.

It was about the time when the sleeping pills I took would be fully absorbed.

I wanted her to find me dead at the exact moment when I could no longer be saved.

That way, the body could be taken care of before it started decomposing.

I figured this because I’d thought a lot about how to commit suicide without causing trouble for those around me.

“Got it. I’m not mad, so don’t be too scared.”

“Oppa, I’m really sorry.”

Now she appeared like she was about to cry.

What does it mean to her for Lee Chang-woo to speak formally like this?

This won’t do.

“Hyena, I’m just feeling a bit dizzy right now. That’s all.”

“Oppa? Why aren’t you using my last name? You must really be angry, right?”

“No, isn’t it usual to use someone’s last name when you’re angry? Anyway, just give me the burger. No, just give it here.”

What am I, Pavlov’s dog or something?

Anyway, Hyena almost reflexively handed over the paper bag as if she would obey my words.

The moment our fingers lightly touched, a message window suddenly appeared in front of my eyes.

[Jung Hyena]  

[20 years old]  

[169 cm, 48 kg, C cup]  

[Basic Libido: F]  

[Affection for You: S]  

Among the detailed information that appeared line by line, something really caught my eye.

[Special Note: No sexual experience. No kissing experience]

No way.

Does it make sense that someone with the visual appeal of a top-tier girl has never even kissed at the age of 20?