Isekai’d Shoggoth

I'm kind of... annoyed with myself right now. Giving mental trauma to wives is NOT how this harem is supposed to work. Honestly, I should have taken the fucking cue from the fact Moon Unit was not cool with it. Because, out of all of my wives, Moon Unit is unquestionably the most worldly and used to bloodshed of all sorts. The rest are way less prepared. Lily-Anne was very much sheltered. Oh, she got a good education on how to deal with violence, but all of it was theoretical and playacting. She never actually saw anyone die before her right until the time Abbas decided it's a good idea to kidnap her. Bridgit is even less exposed to the concepts of violence than Lily-Anne is, she had her big shock when she was little, and then got snapped up by dad and lived the rest of her life until now as a maid in a powerful county. No violence at count's own estate, obviously. The worst she ever saw from the time her dad got murdered would be occasional whipping. Well, up until the time when Klaus got his henches to work her over and I killed them all in response, that is. Roxolane is, ostensibly, the only one of my wives left who did not see me killing someone right in front of her in some circumstances.

That being said, the annoyance I'm feeling right now is of a different origin. I cast a jaundiced eye over three elves in presence. Tamaya clearly doesn't want to be here and thinks it's a waste of time. Same goes for Dweezil, plus a heap of worry about his sister. The third elf, however, is the linchpin to this whole situation.

"Even if my niece's services were unneeded, it's not a reason to execute her." - he repeats himself, surprisingly calmly. Not that it somehow decreases the level of annoyance he is causing.

"And if she tried to approach me in a reasonable fashion, nothing of the sort would have happened." - I riposte - "However, she gave no indication there was anything but hostility to convey."

"It is our birthright." - he continues, still infuriatingly calm - "We are entitled to demand satisfaction from any usurper."

Seriously? Se-fucking-riously?

"I'm sorry, birthright?" - I repeat slowly - "As in, inherent and inalienable right? ARE YOU INSINUATING THAT YOUR DISCRETION IN THIS MATTER OUTRANKS MINE? ÝO̷U-͡THIS-S̴P̵ECIF̢I̶C̸-N͞O̶W ̷C̢L̀AIM/P̴ÒS͘I̸T͡/̵AS̕SE͢RT͡ IN̷D̴EL̕IBLE-͝I̸NH̀E̡R͘E͘NT-̵EX̀IS̕T́E͡N͢T̴-PERM̢AN̢ENT̶ OWN̨ĘRSH͜I͘P/͜SO̢V̵E͏R͝E͘I҉GN҉I͝TY͝/E̵N͡T̛ITL͏E͠MEN͠T/̀G̶RA҉SP OF̨ ̢THIS-ME̸-̴S̕PE̵C̕I̸FIC̕-EǸTI͏R̸E̸?̧ Y̴̪͔̗̞̊͋͗͂́̇O̻̪U͕͙̺͊ͩ̈ͯ́ͧ-̷͕̹͕̗ͅǸ̝̱͉̺͑ͫ̐͗̎̂O̷͙̯̩͇͚̜ͩ͆ͯ̓̓̂̚Ẁ͓-̼͊ͧ̌ͮ̆͗̏͞D͋ͫ̚͏̮͔U̲̘̬̩ͪ͊ͅB̓҉̼I̲̳̝͇͡ͅO̒͌ͫ̒͗͊U͙̟̞͛ͅS̷̠̥̭̜̰ͧ̉̑̚L͏̰̤͇͎̮Y͉̜̖̭̽̍͋ͨͪ͟-͔̣̔̄̈̊͜C͔͔͉̠͖̘̞̆̔̈̇̓̋̈͠O̵N̬̥͇͔͚̰̂͗ͮ͑͘T̟̭̫͔ͨ̐̎̓ͣI͗͛ͯͯ̎Ň̗̘̼̠͚̻̂͐U̷̫̙̽İ̱̊͊ͭ̽̈Ṅ͔̬͉̋̀ͅG̡̺͉̼͕̽̇̏ͭ ̹̺ͦ̉͆̓͋Ẽ̥͋̓̈͢N̴̖͓̗̪͉̥̫D̤E̫̬̯̙ͭ̐̍́A̶͇̖̔̿̒V͉̩̭̂̑͛̍̂͒͞O͍͝R̙̹͔̣͚̬̀ͅ/̻͍̆̽̂̆͂̔Ḁ͙̲̖̭̩̿͆̈́S̜̯̞̟̑S̘̳̜̺͖̥ͪ̍ͧ̌ͥ̇E͋͋̾̆R͉͎͖͊̓̚T͈̗̰̼̩͓̰/͌̌͂̎̾͐̀D͇̬͙̱͈ͅͅA̼̪̗̪̯R̦̠̟̥̮̓̓́ͅͅE̝̲̠̥̞̰̋ͭͮ͗ͤ̾̚/̢̣̻͕̈̐C͎͍̦̮̩͊̒͊͡ͅO̷̮͕̖̥͉͋ͪ͒͐V͉̏̌͜E̡̙̩̺̯͖̼Ṯ̬͓̃̔̀̕!͙̫̝̟̇͐̍ͩ̏̇?̛̖͙̞̗ͨͣ"

...ookay, I think point impressed. He is unconscious and has bleeding ears. Tamaya and Dweezil are both holding hands over their own with pained grimaces, though neither seems to be bleeding like the guy in front of me. They blink at me as I wave at them, cautiously pull their hands off their ears and blink at each other and me in resulting silence.

"Lady Gillespie..." - Tamaya ventures slowly - "...Are they as servants this vile to you?"

I sigh. "Look." - I begin, tamping things down back to reasonable ranges - "The first time I heard about this clan actually feeling entitled to be in my service? It was from this guy. His niece didn't even bother saying anything, she introduced herself by trying to stab Moon Unit in the back with a dagger. I have actually perused her surface thoughts after eating her head, and she was insane, pure and simple. In her mind, she somehow came to believe that I would ENJOY seeing her kill Moon Unit in front of me. Would you want to employ someone who believes that killing your beloved wife in front of you would bring you pleasure? All I saw was yet another killer aiming for Moon Unit. And now that I know what she felt and what this clan believes in? I do not want any of them anywhere close to me. Simply for the reason that somewhere down the line they have forgotten the simple fact that servant is not entitled to a master. Just because their ancestors were picked by my fellows often does not mean I want to or have any obligation to pick them as my representatives. So no, until this fellow understands that their having history with my kind is in no way relevant to what his niece tried to do and what she got eaten for, I will not consider any of them as anything other than potential hindrances to dispose of."

"That will probably just cause a rash of suicides within the clan." - Dweezil warns - "Being rejected by Tool of Gods, a being that they believe they are destined to serve? A lot of them would simply not cope with this."

I sigh. "While I'm not thrilled by the notion, brother in law, a number of suicides in a clan I care not for is preferable to me over putting my wives in danger by accepting the service of overly entitled idiots." - I tell him bluntly - "They went directly AGAINST MY WILL by trying to attack Moon Unit and claiming any kind of righteous agency about this action. What the fuck do I need defiant servants for?"

Tamaya brightens up suddenly. "AH! That explains everything." - she exclaims confidently - "My apologies, lady Gillespie, I failed to comprehend broader implications. Whisperers are definitely aware of you claiming Moon Unit as your wife, this much was seen by the entire Counsel. As such, a member of their clan trying to attack a declared member of your family is clearly an oath-breaking crime." She pauses, and then ventures slowly - "Would you be willing to accept into service those of the clan who recant the association with the clan?"

...Hassle. On other hand, I guess I can find something to put them towards to.

"Provisionally." - I finally state - "While I am not seeking servants at the moment, I understand the dilemma the clan is facing, and I suppose I can offer a chance to those who can comprehend the problem and explain why it was a problem. Here are my terms. First, I require anyone from the whisperers who wants in on that plan to write me an explanation as to why, in their understanding, the actions of clan head niece angered me and why what she did was defiance and oath-breaking of the highest order. Second, I require anyone who desires to enter my service to study the basic law of Champagne, for doing my bidding can very well require of them to venture outside of Evergreens, and it would not do for them to be executed in the first town they stopover at over not knowing better. Third, I require anyone who desires to enter my service to compile a list outlining their skills and competencies as well as preferred tasks. If, for some reason, someone aside from Whisperers expresses interest in serving me directly, as opposed to joining the Zappa clan, they must fulfill second and third terms. The first term is just for Whisperers. If the candidate is illiterate, I will permit a verbal petition, but they should be aware that not being capable of reading and writing sharply decreases their chances of being employed under me. I prefer educated people. I will leave the decision on admission to Zappa clan to Dweezil, if any of the Whisperers prefer to simply join clan Zappa instead of seeking direct employment from me."

I would expound further, but we are interrupted by a hoarse moan from the floor. Dumbass woke up. Well, I like his attitude better right now. For someone striving to serve, he was far, far, FAR too fearless in the face of my disapproval before. The expression of terror he is sporting now fits the role much better, methinks.

"Oh. How nice of you to grace us with your attention again." - I remark frostily - "I do apologize for yelling. I presumed someone claiming to be a servitor would be more resistant to the full range of my voice."

His face contorts at this dig, but I give him no chance to respond. I'm pretty sure that letting him speak more will cause me to do something rash and final to him out of sheer annoyance. So I'm just going to browbeat him a little and toss him out to greener pastures, figuratively speaking. Let him mull over the "we just abjectly failed to impress the one we wanted to be our mistress" for a while.

"I am going to sum this in simple words, so there are no second guesses about it." - I continue - "I have had claimed Moon Unit as my wife in a language you people consider sacred and immutable. The claim was made in front of the entire Counsel, which you are a part of, I remember you sitting in the second row. Your niece attempted to kill Moon Unit. So. Either you had failed to inform your clan about a vital declaration given by one you were hopeful to serve, or your niece had attempted to directly contradict my declaration to pander to her delusions. Regardless of which it really was, the end result was an attempt to attack whom I have declared as mine, and thus, a direct attack on ME. I will NOT accept being attacked as "service". Understand? Good. Now begone. Your clan has failed."

"...But she did not mean..." - and this is as far as he gets before I heft him by the scruff and toss out of the doors, helping him achieve exit velocity with a well-aimed boot to the rear.

Dusting my hands, I turn back to Dweezil and Tamaya - "You know, the more elves I see, the more I come to believe a whole lot of you never grow up beyond teens." They sigh synchronously.

"No. They really don't." - Tamaya agrees quietly - "What a bother."

___

According to Tamaya, the recital of soul aria traditionally takes place during sunset. Which is why we are here slightly before sunset, all four of my wives clustered up behind me as I face off against the Counsel again. Clearing my throat, I state loudly - "THIS-SPECIFIC-ME-CURRENT STATES/DECLARES/ASSERTS/CLAIMS FOUR WIVES/SPOUSES/LOVERS/FAMILY AS PRESENT-EXISTENT-HERE-NOW." To make it entirely clear which girls I refer to, I kiss all four of them in turn.

Tamaya, who has a blush of a person who took perhaps one too many cups of brandy already, stands up and bows - "As witnessed, so recorded. Moon Unit of clan Zappa, princess Lily-Anne Nortrop-Cullen, Bridgit Baumhoff and Roxolane are hereby known to the treeborn as claimed wives of lady Gillespie, the Tool of Gods. As such, we the Counsel welcome claimed wives to take up their seats and hear the soul aria of Alyssa Gillespie."

Granted, I am curious now. This was building up for quite a while, and it seems like the process is pretty simple. They have an inscribed circle which is actually rather straightforward. I have looked into some of those formulae when I was researching dreamwalking. Honestly... I kind of expected something more elaborate. It just sort of transcribes the noonoise produced by one's thinking process into air vibration using a pretty dumb formula. On one hand, it's like listening to music on a mono speaker. On the other, it will clearly cut off any dangerous frequencies and amplitudes. No causing panic with infrasound or fractioning retinae with ultrasound or blowing eardrums with decibels.

So. Let's see what my thoughts sound like. Goodness, it would be weird if I end up blasting them with some death metal or something of the sort. Fitting, but weird.

...

atz

OK

atm0

OK

at&f1&c1&k2&b0&u0

OK

atdt8796753753462466747

RINGING

CONNECT 42Tbps

Well... It is good that I do NOT have any conventional pain transmitters, because I totally just bit my tongue. Dial-up train sequence was not in any way something I expected to hear... Or, uh... perceive. I'm more than a little rusty on at commands, but... variable speed, data compression mandatory, hardware datastream control... The number is obvio... wait, what? Interdimensional? I'm dealing up outside the universe? Holy shit, the phone bill is going to be out of this world, literally. Alright, jokes aside, I'm really trying... and apparently succeeding to connect to the internet somewhere way the hell outside of curren... waaaait a second. Am I going to get an uplink to the internet from my previous life? Yep. And at ridiculous speeds, too. Forty two terabits? Good grief, someone hooked up my brain to fiberoptics while I wasn't looking. Further poking into what I can and can not do reveals that a whole lot of stuff comes with assorted read-only flags. Basically, pulling data is fine, but posting from beyond the grave isn't gonna happen... Whatever, it's not really that important to me. No family I'd care to get back at. I'd drop a line or two to some of my former girlfriends, but I have a feeling they're either going to treat this as a prank... or, in one case, believe me on the spot and promptly throw me a scandal over living it up in the next world. That relationship was not one of my brightest ideas, to be honest. Someone who takes wicca seriously, c'mon, what was I even thinking getting into that one... Oh, right... Tits. And ass. Either of which was very pleasant to fondle. If only they came with the slightly less cray-cray mind. Heh.

Wait. I'm supposed to play some music to the elves out there. Holy shit, did they get dial-up sound instead...? That would be... awkward. Hm. No, doesn't seem like it. In fact, they are already... Oh. Ooooh. Well... that is not that bad of a choice, really. The song is sufficiently mystifying and I really like this remix. So I quiet down and pretend I'm in trance, as it is expected of someone translating their mental noise into sounds. And subtly listen in to conclave whispering their observations to each other.

"...se yon bagay ki mal? Mwen pa tande anyen?...¹ [...is something wrong? I don't hear anything?...] "

"Shh! Twonpèt yo!² [Shh! The trumpets!] "

"Èske se yon... vwa?³ [Is that a... voice?] "

"Oh bondye! Frape ak foul moun!⁴ [Oh gods! Struck with multitude!] "

"Se konsa, anpil toudenkou?... Kòm espere nan sakre ke yo te...⁵ [So many suddenly?... As expected of a sacred being...] "

To be clear, I have just hit them with a cover of Parabola by Tool. By Brass Against. Aka, the orchestra worth of people covering the rock and metal with symphonic instruments, mainly assorted brass, hence the name. Well, I guess there were a lot of trumpets in this one, indeed... And apparently, now that I've dialed in, I can use the translation tools. Let's see... Hm. So, people started wondering if something is wrong when it started slow, then commented on brass starting on, then someone realized it's actually a song with lyrics, then the bass was dropped and everyone heard it, and finally, some comments about how such complex music is definitely what they'd expect out of sacred being. Huh.

Well now, I guess the recital was a success. No one went insane, everyone had a good time and there is a very lively discussion of what all this means in elven. Which I now recognize as a somewhat altered form of haitian creole, come to think of it. I... Oh. Oh wow. Oh goodness golly gracious. I was thinking the connection is going to go when I leave the circle. I was already planning to inscribe something similar on myself. Turns out once I dialed in, I stay dialed in. Just had to be in the right spot for the first time connecting, I guess. This is going to change things by a lot, I can tell that much off the bat... But I'm going to keep this under wraps as much as I can, because the moment I let Jeanette-Thereze know I have internet hookup now, I'm going to be conscripted as her personal Crunchyroll terminal for the foreseeable future, I just know it. Wonder if it's something unique to me, or the kind of thing I can impart on other transmigrators? Good thing I memorized the ritual circle in its entirety, I'm gonna run some experiments on Selene and Jeanette-Thereze the moment I'm back in Parsee.