Is it Wrong that I Woke Up in Danmachi as the Main Character?

"What the hell did I do to piss off Fate so much?" I grumbled to myself as I chopped some celery on a cutting board before sliding it into a bowl.

If anything, I should be the one pissed off. After all, I got randomly thrown in this world as Bell without knowing anything about the plot. Hell, I barely remembered anything about my past life too since it seemed like whoever or whatever tossed me here wiped those bits and just left me with random knowledge.

Ryuu handed me a bowl of peeled potatoes and said, "Perhaps because you seem to break the standard of common sense, Bell."

I took the bowl from her and started quartering the potatoes.

While Tia was dealing with the bombshell, naked and all, that had just arrived outside, I was prepping dinner in the kitchen with Ryuu.

And speaking of Ryuu...

I looked over to her and said, "Thanks for helping out today again, Ryuu. It was a giant mess, but it was fun."

"...If that is what you consider fun, I may need to speak with the other girls at the Hostess of Fertility to help arrange a date for you and Lady Hestia." Ryuu sighed and said, "Honestly... I worry how Fina will turn out in the future with you as her father."

"Hey." I pointed my knife at Ryuu and said, "I'm a great father."

"I pray that remains the case."

I went back to chopping the potatoes and said, "I don't appreciate you raising more flags. But I guess I appreciate the sentiment."

Having supportive friends was always a good thing. Especially if said friend cared about my adorable princess as well.

Speaking of friends...

I wonder how Welf was doing? Hopefully he wasn't feeling too crushed. It wasn't his fault that he made a super crazy miracle sword that could potentially disrupt the entire power balance of Orario...

Ah, wait. He was a Crozzo. Those guys did that naturally... So maybe he should just own it? I mean, I accepted the fact that I was basically the MC of a wish fulfillment story with the way things were going, so I could pretty much see how things were going to go.

Until a curveball like that naked goddess popping up as the quest reward (probably) showed up.

...Actually, that lined up a lot with how these stories went. Always had to introduce a new harem member after a big fight with a boss, right?

I sighed and set the quartered potatoes off to the side before walking over to fill a pot with water.

Let's just stop thinking for now. Less chances of tempting fate that way and more chances of the good ol' Gary Stu plot armor and reality warping to play out in my favor.

Now, Tia and Fina probably just ate a bunch of jagamarukuns again, so I definitely needed to cook something more nutritious. The celery and potatoes were good for roasts, but I could make a stew too with some of the leftover boar... And I could bake some fresh bread.

"Hm."

I blinked, caught off guard by Ryuu suddenly speaking out. "Something wrong, Ryuu?"

Ryuu shook her head. "No. Just..." She tilted her head and said, "...You should absolutely stay away from the red light district, Bell."

I snorted. "Obviously. I have a problem with ordinary girls already tripping over themselves when they meet me. I'm not about to tempt girls who make a living out of seduction."

"...That is not quite what I am concerned about."

I waved my hand and said, "Don't worry about it. For now, help me pick out some herbs to add to this stew. Fina and Tia need to eat healthier... Especially Tia. She's been growing a bit more since I started cooking for her, but she's still got a lot of malnutrition to make up for..."

xxx

In the depths of the Dungeon, a certain Boaz adventurer stood in the center of a field filled with magic stones. Crouching to the ground to pick one up, he carefully stared at it and said, "Strange."

The magic stone was from an abnormal monster that he had killed. A sort of plant/goblin hybrid that emerged while he was searching for a monster that would fit his Goddess's criteria.

It was true that his task was to find monsters that were behaving differently, but this...

"Should I report it to the guild?"

Ottar took a look around at the other magic stones lying on the ground and frowned.

They were different. Magic stones were typically a vivid solid color, but these were a strange mix. Almost as if something else was mixed in... and from how those monsters had looked, it seemed like something might have been mixed in.

Ottar shrugged and started collecting the magic stones. Even if the guild didn't do anything about the report, his Goddess would find it interesting. Knowing her intellect and capabilities, something like this would definitely be useful.

For now though...

Ottar stared at the empty fields and said, "I should return."

It was an impossible task for him. Loathe as he was to admit it, he was too strong. The cute monsters that would suit his Goddess ran away from him in fear, and even if he captured one, Ottar felt that it would be wrong.

After all, this strange monster he pursued was for the purpose of his Goddess creating a child. It wouldn't do to return with a monster that feared for its life.

Moreover, Ottar was curious.

"Bell Kranel..."

Her Goddess had mentioned that her beloved sought to learn from Ottar. Moreover, she mentioned that he was an extraordinary adventurer who possessed incredible skills despite being a fresh adventurer.

"...Are you worthy?"

Ottar finished grabbing the strange magic stones and started walking back towards the entrance, thinking about the mysterious man who had entranced his Goddess.

Ottar had no issues with it. His love for Lady Freya was more than mere adoration or romantic love. It was an unshakeable piety that wished for nothing more than her happiness. A true and pure affection, unlike the selfish sentiments of the others in his familia, save for Horne.

"...To take Lady Freya's hand is to wage war on the Freya familia. To this day, none have been successful. And to this day, Lady Freya has yet to experience happiness and fulfillment."

Ottar tied the bag of magic stones on his belt and then said, "...I hope you are not another of Lady Freya's passing phase, Bell Kranel."

xxx

The Kranel family dining room.

Well, the place that I'd like to call the Kranel family dining room. On paper, it was still just the Hestia familia's dining room, but I'd be working on that soon enough.

Anyway, it was the dining room in the church.

After a long cooking session with Ryuu as a very handy helper by virtue of her experience at the Hostess of Fertility, a full course dinner was set up and laid out at the dining table, along with plates and chairs for everyone around.

And tonight, 'everyone' included a lot of guests.

Of course there was me, seated at the head of the table with Fina on my lap and Tia to my right. The core of the Hestia familia would obviously be here. But there were a few extras tonight... and probably from this night on in the foreseeable future.

First, sitting across from me was Welf.

My best bro was still looking a bit down, dark circles lining his eyes. But it seemed like he had regained a bit of his vigor and determination back since his eyes were bright.

It probably helped that he had his cute daughter sitting with him as well, Pyrrha shyly sitting on Welf's lap and doing her best to hide her face beneath her crimson bangs.

Either way, it looked like things were going well on that end. I'd probably need to talk with him soon to make sure things were completely on the up and up, but I had a feeling he'd be fine.

Now, to the second guest... Ryuu was still here, sitting on the left side of the table. Since it was late, and also since she helped cook, I felt bad about sending her home, so I forcibly invited her to stay the night.

Mostly by having my adorable daughter's innate ability to charm people and wrap them up around her little fingers.

...Puberty was going to be a giant disaster, but that was a problem for future Bell, not me.

Anyway, Ryuu was here too and slowly getting used to everyone. It seemed like she was serious about planning to join our familia since she was going out of her way to try and fit in, chatting with Tia and everyone else.

It was nice. Having an experienced adventurer to rely on in unexpected situations like our latest quest was invaluable.

And speaking of unexpected situations...

I glanced over to the right side of the table, staring at our last guest for the night.

A beautiful woman with long blue hair that was the same shade as the sky. Pure green eyes that reminded me of the deep forest...

And a woman wearing one of Tia's spare dresses that was *far* too small for her build, leaving nothing to the imagination. Especially since they were already almost too small for Tia.

Artemis.

That was who Tia said she was. One of the remaining virgin goddesses in the Greek Pantheon, a dear friend of Tia's... and also a goddess who had gone missing a while ago along with her entire familia.

At least, that was who the woman *should* be. And Tia swore that she was Artemis. That Tia would never mistake her dear friend for anyone else.

Except that the woman was human.

Even now, staring at her, I didn't see a shred of divinity floating around her. Even if she might be hiding it, I had become more than familiar with divinity from the various gods that I had encountered where I could at least pick out a thread of it.

But there was nothing.

The woman had a lot of mana, that was for sure. And she was also unnaturally beautiful, just like a goddess would be.

But she didn't have a single bit of divinity in her. ...Or memories, apparently.

Honestly, I was starting to wonder if this entire world was just a giant VRMMORPG or something and the devs were trolling me.

But that was a line of thought I wasn't willing to entertain now or anytime soon.

So, putting that aside...

I focused on everyone seated at the table and then said, "Thanks for being here everyone. It's always nice to have guests over and make things more lively... so please, enjoy this humble meal."

Tia rolled her eyes and started grabbing some food. "'Humble meal' he says..." She filled a bowl with some stew and ripped off a chunk of bread before setting it in front of Fina. After that, she served Artemis some food before grabbing some for herself. "At this rate, we might as well open up a restaurant with how well you cook, Bell."

Ryuu cracked a smile and said, "Should I warn Mama Mia about a potential competitor?"

I rolled my eyes and carved a piece of roast poultry for myself. "As if. Even if I get along with Freya, I'm not about to get between Miss Mia and her money."

I'd seen how she strung up adventurers who didn't pay for their food and tried to dine and ditch. Even if I was fairly confident I could get out of that mess due to being Freya's crush, I'd lose out on being able to get good food.

And good recipes.

Welf laughed and said, "You've got that right." He started getting some food for Pyrrha and said, "Getting between a dwarf and their gold never ends well."

"Hm?" I looked over at him and said, "Miss Mia is a dwarf?"

Ryuu started serving food for herself and said, "Yes." She carved some poultry for herself and then said, "I heard she was much smaller in the past before she reached maturity."

"...Huh."

So the typical fantasy archetypes weren't always accurate in this world. Dwarves were usually tiny in fantasy depictions, but since this was reality, it looked like there were bound to be exceptions.

Another thing to keep an eye out for... Although.

I turned to look at Ryuu, remembering how easily she used magic and everything.

Ryuu looked back at me and tilted her head. "What is it, Bell?"

"...Do elves look young forever? Or do some people just take better care of themselves?"

"...Rude." Ryuu frowned and said, "I will have you know that I am only 21 years old, not however old you might be thinking, Bell."

I coughed and said, "I-I definitely wasn't thinking anything like that..."

Dammit. What was with all the elves around me actually being a normal age? First Eina and now Ryuu... Did I pick up Harem Aura as a developmental skill or something since I last got a status update?

Ryuu smiled, clearly amused. But then she said, "If you say so. And to satisfy your curiosity... Yes to both. We elves typically retain our appearances from when we reach maturity to the time of our deaths. However, like any other living being, if we forsake our health, we will show signs of aging as well. Though it may take longer in comparison to others."

"I see..."

So that meant that I might come across an old and fat elf sometime. What a weird world this was.

Although...

"...Wait. You're only 21 and you already got wrapped up in all sorts of shady messes?"

Ryuu calmly took a bite from her poultry and said, "As if you are one to talk, Orario's most wanted man."

Welf shook his head and said, "I still can't believe how easily you interact with women, Bro."

Fina slurped a spoonful of stew and then said, "That's because Daddy's the coolest! Right, Mommy?"

Tia looked at me and sighed. "Unfortunately." She puffed her cheeks and said, "It's not fair."

"Don't worry, Tia." I reached out to pull her into a one-armed hug and said, "That's what all the other woman will think when I take you out on a date tomorrow."

"D-Date?! Tomorrow?!" Tia's face started to turn a deep red.

I laughed and then pulled my arm back before she fainted from embarrassment.

Ryuu gave me a blank look.

I ignored it and then stared at the other guest at our table who hadn't spoken a word yet.

...Well, technically Pyrrha hadn't either, but I was more focused on the mysterious guest who nobody expected.

"Is the food alright, Artemis?"

Artemis looked away from her food and stared at me, blinking. After a moment, she smiled and then said, "Yes. It smells quite pleasant. Although..." She tilted her head and stared at the food in front of her. "...How do I use these?" She picked up a spoon and knife and said, "Are these necessary?"

"...No. But it makes things easier?"

Artemis frowned. "Do they? It seems a bit complicated when I can simply use my hands..."

Tia suddenly stood up and crossed her arms. "Absolutely not, Artemis!"

"E-Eh? But-"

"No buts! Here!" Tia scooted over to Artemis's side and then held Artemis's hand, placing the spoon in the blue-haired woman's palm. "You use the spoon to scoop up stew like this..."

"I see. And then I drink it-"

"No! It's still hot! You have to blow on it first... Geez. What are you, a kid?"

"...Sorry, Hestia."

Tia paused, a sad expression crossing her face as she looked at Artemis. "No. It's fine. Here. Just watch how I eat and copy me, okay?"

"Okay, Hestia."

It was a wholesome exchange. But at the same time, it was a bit sad.

Artemis... at least, the Artemis sitting there wasn't anything like the one Tia remembered. I could see that in how Tia interacted with her.

Instead of the goddess of the moon, the woman there was a blank slate. Someone who looked like Tia's best friend, but wasn't.

Or maybe she was and had just forgotten everything.

That... might be worse.

I felt a small tug on my shirt. Fina.

She looked up at me and then at Tia. After that, she leaned up and whispered, "Is Mommy okay? She looks really sad when talking with Miss Artemis."

I patted Fina's head and then whispered back. "She'll be fine, Fina. Mommy's just... Well, it's a bit complicated right now."

"Okay, Daddy."

I smiled at Fina and then focused on my food.

A wholesome dinner spent with friends and family. A comfortable night after a day's hard and chaotic work.

Now, here's wishing that tomorrow would result in a more manageable day... and if not that, then here's wishing that future me could deal with that future mess...