Is it Wrong that I Woke Up in Danmachi as the Main Character?

"Achoo!" I sneezed and then wiped my nose with my sleeve. "Weird. Have I been staying up too late?"

Eina looked up at me from her stack of paperwork and then said, "Considering I've heard Misha say you stayed here through the night these past few days... Yes." She frowned and said, "Won't Lady Hestia be worried about you?"

I flipped through my notes again and said, "She understands. Though I'll need to spoil Fina a bit. I didn't expect there to be so much stuff to go through..."

To sum up my findings...

Court proceedings in Orario were a mess.

Ordinarily, the Guild handled all legal disputes like conflicts over loot drops or crimes. However, when things got serious enough or were unprecedented, the gods formed a gathering to decide on it.

Those were 'Denatus' meetings, ones where a majority of the gods in Orario gathered to discuss and decide the issue. Though those were also routinely held every few months to talk about things like recent level ups and official aliases.

...Which meant that something as big as Fina's true nature would definitely not be decided by the Guild, but rather the Denatus meeting.

As an aside, I looked into custody of children had between different Familia as well in case I did have to go through with the whole giving Freya a child thing.

Turns out, family court was even worse here than I remembered it being. Custody issues were a *huge* problem. Usually ending up in War Games if things couldn't be resolved. As in literal battles for the sake of child custody.

Fortunately though, contracts were much more stringent in this world. Mostly because they could be enforced by divine authority and binding from that. The only way to break one of those would be a mutual agreement to dissolve it... or by force, which would not be pretty.

From what I read, it usually ended up in one party having their stats permanently dropped. And if a god broke their promise... Well, it would depend on the nature of their contract. But if a god swore on their name and authority, breaking a contract would immediately expel them to heaven.

Of course, gods didn't do that.

Usually, gods just made contracts and agreed to have it resolved at the Denatus meetings if something came up, or through War Games.

So I had my attack strategy.

It would *definitely* be illegal back on Earth. Especially in America. But here, I could draft a contract that would give me full custody rights over a potential child between me and Freya in the event that she did anything that could be construed as a threat to me, Tia, Fina, and any other member or ally of the Hestia Familia. Overbroad terms also wouldn't be struck down by the courts here and would instead be tightly enforced, construing any incident to suit the terms like arrogant gods were want to do...

And I could predicate it on Freya swearing on her name and authority.

In short... betting odds. Something I was fairly confident enough in relying on to confront Tia's new friend and her offer.

...I still didn't feel comfortable with it. But if it meant that Tia and Fina could be safe for now until I was strong enough to make it unnecessary...

"Huh."

I blinked and looked up at Eina. "What is it?"

She shook her head and said, "Nothing. Just..." She started fiddling with her hair and said, "Studying suits you."

I paused and said, "Again. To make things clear, I am not interested in-"

"Oh shut up." Eina blushed and said, "I am *not* into you! I-It's not like you're even that handsome or smart."

"...Right. Still, to make things perfectly clear, our relationship is 100% platonic. Barring that, professional, okay?" I paused. "Though if you're looking for someone- Ah, wait. He's already got a crush on someone else."

Eina rolled her eyes and took a sip from a bottle of water. "Anyway..." She looked at my pile of notes and said, "Do you plan on doing more research here, Bell?"

I stretched and said, "I thought about it... But I think it's time to stretch my legs a bit. And check up on my Princess."

Eina blinked. "Princess?"

"Hm? Oh, not literally a princess. I meant my daughter, Fina."

Eina blinked again and said, "You have a daughter? Since when? Aren't you fifteen?"

"Since the time I mentioned there being a new member to our family." I stood up and started gathering my notes.

"Wait." Eina paused and pinched the bridge of her nose. "You mean that you were being literal when you said new member? And who's the mother then?"

I tucked my papers under my arm and said, "I'd tell you, Eina. But I think you're dealing with enough things as it is." I eyed her stack of papers and various reports.

Something about a demispirit, rumors about a group called 'Evilus', the Artemis Familia vanishing... and a variant War Shadow appearing on the first floor?

...Yeah. Definitely not going into the Dungeon any time soon. Even if I might have compiled all the info on every monster from the first floor to the Deep Floors, I definitely wanted a lot more trump cards and countermeasures prepared before risking an encounter with that ridiculous superboss again.

Eina glanced at her papers and sighed. "...Yes. I do have a lot on my plate right now. So thank you for once not adding to it."

"Hey, the only paperwork I really made you stress over was the Tamer certification."

"Which you still need to use before someone looks into it."

"Er. Yeah." I laughed and said, "I'll sort that out."

Eina grabbed a chunk from the stack of papers and said, "Just get out of here before I get another headache, Bell."

"Alright. Thanks Eina. Love you. Platonically."

She rolled her eyes and pointed at the door. "Out, Mister Kranel."

I smiled and then left, waving on my way out.

xxx

"Hah... The climb to the top is stressful, huh?" I muttered to myself as I walked along Main Street and headed towards Welf's workshop-

Ah, wait.

"I mean... The climb to the top is a cinch. Success is just taking baby steps to an inevitable victory."

Self-affirmations. Very important to boost morale and lead to success through self-fulfilling prophecies.

And with my skills, even more important since my beliefs were shaping how my life turned out.

The jury was out on whether that was from mild reality warping or if it was just nudging me to the optimal result though.

Either way, I had to be careful to think positively.

"So... Fina probably had a super fun time with Welf. And Welf probably did a lot of research and put all those theories to good use."

I crossed the intersection of Main Street and kept walking towards the buildings that the Hephaestus Familia controlled.

...Yeah. Everything should be fine.

It'd still be awkward meeting with that Freya goddess, but I'd make it work out somehow.

As long as it kept Fina and Tia safe, then-

A soft thump. Someone bumping into me.

"Whoops!" A man laughed and stepped back. "Sorry about that."

I frowned and glanced at him.

First impression: absolute playboy. Blonde hair covered by a feathered hat. A red scarf over a plain blue tunic and beige pants. Leather boots and gloves... Plus the fact that he was carrying a bouquet of flowers.

The man let out an easygoing smile and said, "I was lost in thought there for a bit so I didn't see you."

I shook my head and said, "Don't worry about it. I wasn't paying close attention either."

"Well, then I guess we're both at fault. No harm no foul then, right?"

"Sure."

I ignored him and kept on my way, making sure to be more vigilant. But before I took more than a few steps, he called out to me again.

"I'm Hermes by the way! A bit awkward meeting like this, but nice to meet you!"

Hermes? Like the god?

I glanced back at him and focused.

...Now that I paid attention, he did have a bit of that divine aura that Hestia and my mystery goddess stalker had. Though he was much more adept at concealing it.

Meaning he was suspicious.

I waved and said, "Nice to meet you too. Goodbye."

Definitely not worth getting involved with that guy.

"A-Ah. Sure. Bye."

Now... The crystal candy shop should be along this way too. Gotta grab a bit of that to surprise Fina...

xxx

Hermes watched the young man leave with a faint smile. But when that young man was out of sight, Hermes lowered his hat and frowned. "...Weird. The old man said that Bell should be a weak and delicate looking boy. That guy was definitely *not* delicate."

Instead of a boy, he was a handsome young man with a trained body. But it hadn't been that long since he arrived in Orario according to his sources.

Not only that though...

"...I thought the old man said Bell's mom was the sick one, not that monster of talent. Did he lie to me, or...?"

That face wasn't the one that Hermes was expecting. While the white hair and red eyes were definitely the same as that coward's, the calm expression and slight facial tic when Bell was annoyed was definitely like *hers* and not the one that coward in Zeus's familia said he knocked up.

Then...

"...No. This isn't the time or place for this."

Hermes adjusted the bouquet of flowers in his hands and made his way towards his destination. "...It's interesting though. It looks like I'll need to edit my story about the Great Feud a bit, Erebus. It seems like your helper was motivated for a different reason than I thought, wasn't she?"

xxx

"Daddy!" Fina ran up and gave me a tight hug, wearing a cute red dress and a leather backpack.

I patted her on the head and said, "Sorry I've been gone so long, Fina."

"Mm. It's okay." She looked up and said, "I had a lot of fun with Uncle Welf! He even let me try making things myself! And he made me this dress and my backpack too!"

"Did he now?"

I looked over at Welf... who looked a lot more tired than he had been when I dropped Fina off.

"...And how've you been, Bro?"

Welf yawned and said, "Tired."

Fina turned around to look at Welf and said, "That's because Uncle Welf kept staying up late writing notes like Daddy!"

Welf laughed and said, "Well, it looks like your dad and I have something in common then. Though I guess if that wasn't the case we wouldn't be so close."

"Glad to hear it, Bro." I paused and then looked at Fina. "Did Mommy come visit you at all?"

"Mmhm!" Fina nodded and said, "Mommy and Auntie Heffy came to visit! Oh! And she said that Uncle Welf got a lot stronger too!"

I patted Fina's head and said, "Did she now?" After that, I looked at Welf.

He scratched his cheek and said, "All thanks to you, Bell. Although..." He frowned and said, "...At this point, I don't know how I can pay you back."

"You can start by making me new armor. Black Demon kind of got wrecked recently."

Welf laughed. "Fina told me about it. I'm already working on something... I'm guessing you want it lighter this time, right?"

"For actually fighting, yeah. Also." I turned to Fina and pulled out a small bag of crystal candy. "I got this for you, Princess. A gift for being gone for so long."

Fina gasped and then carefully took the bag of candy. She stared at it with sparkling eyes and then hugged me. "Thanks, Daddy! You're the bestest!"

I laughed and said, "I think you mean best, Princess."

"No! Daddy is the best of the best, so you're the bestest! Even Auntie Heffy said so!"

"...Really?" I frowned and said, "How'd I get that reputation?"

Welf shrugged and said, "Probably when you taught me how to put <Durandal> in basic ores like copper."

I nodded. "That makes sen- Wait." I blinked and held up my hand. "Back up a bit. What did you just say?"

<Durandal> was something that made weapons indestructible. But it required orichalcum. At least it should...?

Welf laughed. "Hah! Now you know how it feels!" He jumped in to the air and did a fistpump. "Yes!"

"...I think you need a vacation, Welf."

He paused and then let out a sigh. "Probably." He stretched and said, "Feel like taking some quests and heading out of Orario for a bit then? I've got a bunch of new equipment to test run while the Dungeon's restricted."

"I'll get back to you on that. For now-"

"Oh!" Fina tugged on my shirt and said, "I almost forgot! I got a gift for you, Daddy!"

I blinked and looked down at her. "A gift?" I smiled and crouched down. "Did you make something for me?"

"Mmhm!" Fina nodded and reached into her backpack. "Mister Fire helped me make it for you... Ah! Close your eyes!"

I smiled and did as she said. "Okay, Princess. Now what?"

"Now hold out your left hand, Daddy!"

"Alright...? Then-"

A slight warmth, wrapped around my left ring finger.

I blinked and looked down to see... an orichalcum ring laced with enough fire mana to blow up this building?

...Huh?

Fina smiled and said, "I made one for Mommy too! The story books say that Mommy and Daddy should wear rings if they're married, so I made some! Did I do good, Daddy? Am I good girl now?"

I pulled Fina into a hug with my right arm and said, "You've always been a good girl, Princess. And you did great."

Yes. She did great. Too great.

I looked up at Welf.

He shrugged and mouthed 'your daughter.'

Ah.

Right. Fina was my daughter.

"Yay! I love you, Daddy!"

"Love you too, Princess. Now... How about we head home and get dinner ready for Mommy?"

She should be back from work soon, so it'd be a good idea to start prepping.

"Yeah!"

I looked over at Welf. "You wanna come with, Bro? I don't think you've visited our house yet, have you?"

Welf glanced at his forge, hesitating.

I followed his gaze and saw a tiny crystal blade sitting there, glowing a dark crimson, the same color as Welf's mana. Seeing that, I rolled my eyes and said, "You can get back to blacksmithing later, Bro. Take a break."

"...Yeah. I guess you're right." Welf smiled and then said, "Just let me grab my stuff and turn on the security before we head off."

"Gotcha."

xxx

Evening, with the sun starting to set.

Hephaestus was making the rounds, checking in on her Familia to see how things were going. And now it was time to check on the newest and most troublesome member of her Familia.

Walking up to the workshop, she knocked on the door and said, "Welf?"

Silence. Neither the sound of roaring flames, clanging steel, or even the recent addition of Fina's happy voice echoing.

"Did he leave?" Hephaestus frowned and then opened the door to the workshop.

Enchantments flared, the security measures activating to prevent intruders from stealing work products. But they recognized Hephaestus and quickly subsided.

"Hm." Hephaestus looked around and said, "They're not here."

That was a first. Since he arrived, Welf practically lived in his workshop. And that didn't change even when Fina arrived... although Hestia managed to convince him to sleep in his apartment after seeing Fina curled up by the flames with a blanket while he forged away.

It was also the first time Hephaestus saw Hestia ready to pummel someone to death. Though considering that Fina *was* Hestia's daughter, as impossible as that should be, it made sense.

Hephaestus would have done the same if someone treated her weapons the same way.

Though...

"I guess Hestia was right about her Bell." She looked around at the works Welf was in the middle of making and let out a proud smile. "Welf is definitely improving. And to leave the workshop like this... it seems like he finally found a good friend."

There had been more than a few people in the Familia try to get along with Welf, like her captain, Tsubaki. But none of them seemed to be able to break through Welf's shell.

Hephaestus's smile widened and she decided to do a quick quality check on Welf's works to see his progress. While she had recently updated his status and saw his improvements in combat, she wasn't sure about his blacksmithing. So...

"Back to the fundamentals, is it?" Hephaestus looked at the assorted knickknacks laying around on the anvil and picked them up.

Twist-forged bracelets, coat hooks, a spoon and a fork... All of them were made from copper as well. Even so, while they were laying on the floor, the items weren't marred in any way, gleaming even with the dim light.

Hephaestus hummed as she examined them all and nodded. "Excellent craftsmanship. No excessive flourishes or extraneous features... Simple and clean, as it should be."

She had been a bit worried about Welf after he made Black Demon. After all, using such a toxic and soft metal for armor... While it was alloyed a bit to not easily get dinged, it was still something that would be better for display rather than use.

...She *did* wonder what happened to it though. The last she heard, Bell had purchased it for training and Hestia mentioned she saw him using it to do some workouts.

Hephaestus would have to remind her to have Fina and Bell get a check-up by Miach to make sure there weren't any lingering effects though.

But in any case...

Welf seemed to be doing well and taking blacksmithing more seriously now. Like Hestia said, partying with Bell did a lot to humble him-

"Hm?"

A faint gleam in the corner of Hephaestus's vision. Something shining in the forge like a crystal.

Seeing that, Hephaestus's eye widened. "Welf... Did he change his mind about it?"

He swore he wouldn't ever make another magic sword again, but...

Hephaestus reached into the forge and pulled it out.

A simple and unadorned blade.

Rather than a 'sword,' it was more of a knife. And probably more of a fruit knife than anything else, with a blade the size of a finger.

Even so, it was beautiful.

A lovely crystalline blade that looked like a carved ruby. A delicate and polished copper handle...

Hephaestus held up the blade and examined it before deciding to test it out.

Since the blade was so small, it should be fine if she only channeled a bit of mana to test it. So...

Hephaestus focused, putting a bit of mana into the blade.

And then there was an explosion of blinding light.

She flinched and stepped back, covering her eye.

And then she heard a cute yawn. One followed by a sleepy young girl's voice. "...Mommy?"

Hephaestus froze. "M-M-Mom-?"

She quickly rubbed her eye.

Was it an illusion-based magic sword? That must be it. That was the only explanation for-

"Mommy!"

A small warm body, hugging Hephaestus's waist.

Blinking away the spots in her eye, she looked down to see a beautiful young girl with short crimson hair and a shimmering copper-colored dress. A young girl that looked a lot like her. A girl that looked like a younger Hephaestus, but with both her eyes intact- No. That wasn't quite right.

Her left eye was the same as Hephaestus's. A bright red. But the right... It was a light gray color that looked almost blue.

The same color as Welf's eyes.

The mysterious girl nuzzled against Hephaestus and said, "You came to visit again!"

"..."

*thud*

"M-Mommy! Wake up! You can't sleep there! It's dirty! Mommy!"

xxx

Back at home, Welf and I were prepping dinner while Fina was chatting with her imaginary friend 'Mister Fire' off to the side by the oven.

If it was any other kid, I'd be nervous. But Fina was my kid and apparently even more ridiculous, so I just let her have her fun and focused on prepping dinner with Welf.

"...So that's what I wanted to ask you about." Welf handed me a peeled potato and said, "Is that possible?"

I set the peeled potato on my cutting board and stopped to think about his question. "Mm... Well. I've heard stories about items gaining their own ego and even coming to life if the maker puts enough heart into it."

I remembered grandpa talking about Pygmalion sculpting a beautiful woman and loving her so much she came to life. Then there were the various Anime and JRPGs where mythical swords could have spirits in them and a mind of their own. Sometimes even turning into a real person.

I shook my head and then started cutting the potato before putting it in a bowl off to the side. "It would take either a divine miracle or skills reaching the divine though. You're good, but I don't think you're there yet, are you, Bro?" I paused and said, "Are you? Because if you are-"

Welf laughed and started peeling another potato. "Not yet. Maybe in a year."

"A year, huh?" I laughed and said, "Seems like you're aiming as big as me, huh?"

Welf's ears turned red and he said, "Y-Yeah. I mean... If you can do it, then maybe..." He trailed off and started mumbling.

I smiled and patted his shoulder. "Don't worry, Welf. I'm sure 'Faefae' will come around to you sooner or later. Though you should be careful, you know?"

"Hm?" Welf blinked and said, "Why's that?"

"Well you technically have Spirit Blood from what you've told me, right? Then if you infuse your blood into one of your works and try making it like I suggested, there's a high chance something ridiculous might be born. Speaking from personal experience here."

After all, Fina was born because I had the bright idea of making a magic stone from my mana and the ambient mana.

Not that I was complaining or have it any other way, but it seemed like crazy things happened when you involved spirits or traces of divine mana.

"It'd definitely be something that could make you overgeared, but-" I paused, noticing that Welf wasn't answering or paying attention. "...Bro? Something wrong?"

"...Nah. It's probably fine."

"...You made one, didn't you?"

Welf let out a nervous laugh.

I sighed. "What happened to 'a miracle that would never happen again' and 'something I'm not going to make for a long time?'"

Welf handed me a peeled potato and said, "I-I was just curious, alright? And didn't you say you wanted a bunch of different weapons? I need the experience, you know? Especially since the Dungeon seems out to get you."

"If you say so. But you can't blame me for any ridiculous stuff happening, alright?"

"Obviously."

"Good."

Silence. Welf handing me peeled potatoes while I chopped them up to put in a pot of water to boil.

And then a bell chimed in the distance.

Fina gasped and then jumped up, running towards the entrance. "Mommy!"

"Sweetie? You're home?"

"Yes! Oh! Are you Mommy's friend?"

Welf laughed and said, "Looks like your wife's brought home a girlfriend, Bro- Bro?"

I froze.

A familiar obsessive gaze... Only much more subdued. Soft and gentle, though still focused directly on me.

The moment I noticed, that gaze vanished and a sultry chuckle echoed. Shortly after, a seductive voice said, "That's right. And aren't you the most adorable little thing ever?"

"Thank you! You're pretty too, Miss!"

"Is that so? I'm flattered. My name's Freya by the way. Ah, but you can call me Auntie if you want."

"Okay, Auntie Freya! I'm Fina!"

"Nice to meet you Fina. Now... Would you like a baby brother or sister?"

Fina gasped. "Really? Can I have one Mommy?"

"T-That's... Um... How about we ask your Daddy?"

"Oh don't be shy, Hestia. I'm sure Bell would be more than happy to oblige."

Well.

Uh.

So the goddess stalking me turned out to be Freya. 

Right. So much for making plans to avoid her.

...Oh yeah. Freya was a goddess of war too, wasn't she? Like Athena. Freya wasn't just a goddess of love and beauty.

So I was fucked.

...Probably literally and figuratively.

Dammit.