Is It Permissible To Abandon a Childhood Friend Who Has Become a School Idol and Be Happy

11

“…Oh yeah, come to think of it.”

“Miorin, you had a boyfriend, didn’t you? I forgot.”

As soon as Mio said my name, a somewhat jaded atmosphere began to flow through the classroom.

“Yeah, so I’m not sure about being hugged. Sorry.”

“Oh, it’s okay, don’t worry about it. It was my fault. So, about what I was saying earlier.”

Mio apologized, clapping her hands together lightly.

It seems that no one can say anything more to her as she looks apologetic, and they quickly move on to the next topic.

“…………”

I glanced sideways at the group, making sure they didn’t notice, and cried deeply in my heart.

(I can’t breathe…)

I kept my eyes fixed on my textbook, but I definitely felt the gazes of the whole class gather on me at that moment.

As a result, even though winter is approaching, a single bead of sweat runs down my back.

My hands and feet are also trembling slightly, and I can’t seem to get any strength into them.

Of course, I’m not used to being in the spotlight, but the main reason is that there was no kindness in the eyes that looked at me.

I’ve heard that the eyes speak as much as the mouth, and that’s exactly what it is.

The piercing gazes silently hurled a question that they all shared.

—Why are you going out with Misaka-san?

Without a doubt, that’s what they were saying.

I could tell even if they didn’t say it.

In fact, I’ve been told that before during the past month.

When I passed a student from another class in the hallway, they looked at me and laughed mockingly, saying, “Is that guy Misaka’s boyfriend?”

They clearly looked down on me and walked away without stopping, looking smug.

How could I describe my feelings at that time?

Regret. Wretchedness. Patheticness.

That feeling, mixed with anger and indignation, yet being unable to say anything back, just pretending not to hear and walking away, is something that no one could ever understand.

I didn’t have the idea of getting angry.

If I had chased after them and said, “That’s right. I’m Mio’s boyfriend. Got a problem with that?”

I wouldn’t have had this strange sense of guilt.

I had never been ridiculed with such clear malice in my life.

Of course, I had never been in a fight either. I had never had such an experience with Mio, and I probably never will.

I’m bad at getting angry at people.

I don’t think someone like me has the right to get angry at anyone, and more than anything, I was afraid of hurting people.

I’m also bad at being yelled at.

Even if it’s just a small warning to that person, I feel a sense of guilt for doing something bad, and I end up thinking about it and holding my head.

However, between getting angry and being yelled at, the latter is better.

If I don’t talk back, the other person will be satisfied, and it will be my problem alone.

No matter how much I suffer, at least I won’t involve others.

When I thought about it that way, I felt a little better.

I could comfort myself by thinking that I was a decent person. At least I was different from those guys.

… Even though I knew that it was just a self-satisfying act that wouldn’t change my own evaluation or anyone else’s.

Even so, if I could just think that way, that was fine.

However, not intending to change means that nothing will change.

If I can’t even bring myself to be defiant, it means that I will have to keep enduring these rude stares.

That’s an unbearable stress for me.

Rather, I feel like I should praise myself for enduring this past month.

I guess I’m more patient than I thought, I thought with a self-deprecating smile.

―――But, if only…… Sae………… wasn’t here……

At the same time, a thought crossed my mind for a moment.

“Ugh…!”

I hurriedly tried to shake it off, but for a brief moment, it was drowned out by the sound of the chimes ringing overhead.