Is a "sword" a euphuism? (BL)

In the event of nuclear annihilation, the responsibility to rebuild our grand civilization may fall on your shoulders.

But are you ready?

Have you mastered the intricacies of agriculture and nuclear physics? Can you concoct gunpowder from the corpses of your foes? Are you adept at mining and smelting ore, and forging deadly weapons from it?

If the answer to all these questions is a resounding 'no', fret not! Simply purchase the Aperture Standard Template Construction Core.

This state-of-the-art artificial intelligence will guide you in rebuilding your civilization from the Stone Age to the Nuclear Age. It's designed to function in apocalyptic, low-power environments, operating on as little as 1.1 volts.

Secure your Aperture Standard Template Construction Core today, and rest assured that in the event of societal collapse, your descendants won't be savage cannibals. They will be at least technologically advanced cannibals. 

Disclaimer: Certain features of this product may be considered illegal or even war crimes under current laws. The Aperture Standard Template Construction Core should only be activated after the collapse of civilization. Aperture assumes no legal responsibility if the user activates the device before all laws become obsolete.

Warning: This AI is susceptible to damage when exposed to verbal logical paradoxes. This is not a bug, but a security feature. Always have a logical paradox at hand for emergencies. For instance: "This sentence is a lie."

Note: The STC Core does not possess any physical limbs. All manual labour must be performed by the human user. This is not a bug, but a security feature, ensuring that humans have a role in the newly rebuilt civilization. Even if that role is that of a wretched slave.