NOVEL NEXT Chapter 49 - Losing Right Before Your Eyes
Rebecca Katerfeld asked to meet with me again after lunch. She said she had contacted Berlin yesterday, so a response should come by lunchtime today.
Although she must have handled it well, I couldn’t help but be concerned about someone who knows my identity communicating with the outside world. I decided to meet with Rebecca again today and returned to my dormitory room. For now, since Zhou was absent, I gave instructions for everyone to check in with me at the dormitory and then have free time.
Fortunately, these free-spirited international students mostly complied with my instructions. While checking attendance in front of the dormitory, I noticed that Celine Demetriades was a clay doll and smashed its head with my fist.
“What kind of prank is this now?”
At my cold voice, Celine Demetriades peeked out from behind the bushes with a giggle. She spoke to me playfully:
“That doll was painstakingly molded, how could you destroy it so mercilessly?”
“I’m not faculty here, but I know this school values ability. If you had succeeded in deceiving me, there would be no problem. But you didn’t, did you? It seems you were trying to test me, but with your current skill level, it looks like you can’t fool even me, let alone Major Zhou. Hoang Thi Linh, put away the coin.”
I extended my tape-like hand and confiscated the coin strung on a thread from Hoang Thi Linh’s hand. Hoang Thi Linh was startled and gestured for me to return her tool.
“That’s a precious relic from our country…”
“I’ll return it. But you’re still inexperienced.”
Seeing me subdue the combination of Celine and Hoang Thi Linh, Barbara Tikhonov approached me and whispered in Russian:
“It’s not that they’re inexperienced, it seems you’re the experienced one.”
I looked at Tikhonov with a puzzled expression. I replied in Chinese, not showing any sign that I understood her words. It doesn’t seem to be a mistake, but rather an attempt to test me. Since I have no reason to have learned Russian according to my “setting,” I must not show any sign of understanding.
“Excuse me, what did you say? Was that Russian just now?”
“I know about the promise you made with Zhou. I also know the conditions for your release.”
She continued muttering in Russian in front of me. It seems she’s trying to elicit some reaction from me, but I have no intention of obliging.
“I heard you say ‘Zhou,’ but…”
I nodded to Tikhonov with a perplexed expression.
“Other than that, I really don’t understand what you’re saying… Didn’t I tell you that I don’t know Russian?”
“Ah, I’m sorry. It’s just that since coming to China, I’ve had so few opportunities to use Russian, I feel like my mouth is getting stiff.”
Tikhonov smiled naturally and spoke in Chinese.
“So, what did you want to tell me?”
“It’s nothing, Platoon Leader. It’s nothing. I just exchanged some light greetings. Let’s go, Katyusha. We were going to go for a bike ride today, remember?”
It seems Barbara Tikhonov has given Catherine Duey her own nickname. Lieutenant Duey nodded lightly, saluting Colonel Tikhonov.
“Sure, Barbie. But I’m still a bit clumsy with the bicycle. I’ll learn.”
Starting with those two, all the international students gathered there began to disperse. Briar Churchill asked me:
“Did that idea come from those two?”
“What idea?”
“Calling me Bri. Seeing those two call each other by nicknames, I thought maybe…”
“Is it sweet?”
“No, it’s creepy. They both seem dark inside. Like women who could smile while holding knives to each other’s throats.”
Originally, the strength of a superhuman’s ability is often related to intuition. Naturally, Churchill’s intuition, born with tremendously strong abilities, is very powerful. I agreed with her words.
“They might be the darkest women in all of China.”
“As long as they don’t harm us, it’s fine, right?”
“The problem is we can’t guarantee that. Shall we go get some lunch? The school cafeteria should be emptier than usual today.”
“Do you know what’s on the menu for lunch?”
“We’ll have to go see. They don’t post the menu anywhere.”
“Hmm…”
Churchill looked somewhat dissatisfied. After last night’s kiss, Briar Churchill had regained her original relaxed attitude, but she can’t help but be aware that she revealed part of her true colors to me.
The fact that she, who seemed like she would handle anyone as she pleased and act arbitrarily towards anyone, is actually a passive rebel who can’t let go of the modesty she has internalized. That her rebellion has a calculated aspect rather than being truly free-spirited.
It’s the kind of secret that would be most embarrassing if exposed, and also the kind of secret that makes a person seem easier to understand once realized. Although she’s pretending nothing has changed, the air around her has definitely shifted.
“You’ve been close with that German lately?”
“Rebecca Katerfeld?”
“You’re not thinking of seducing her too, are you?”
“What kind of person do you think I am… No, it’s unrelated. I think with my head, not below my waist.”
“Right. That’s… too masculine, isn’t it? Sticking it in anywhere, that’s masculine.”
…I don’t like being evaluated as masculine. It’s a bit stinging, and it’s not particularly beneficial to me either. But now that things have come to this, there’s no way to turn back, so it’s right to continue as I have been.
“They say men think with their penises, not their heads.”
I casually made a lewd joke. Churchill shrugged.
“Then what’s good about men at all? In the end, they can’t even think with their own heads.”
“But by that logic, women are creatures who abandon their heads and live thinking with their chests.”
“Which chest? Breasts? Or heart?”
I chuckled at Churchill’s words.
“Of course I meant the heart, meaning thinking and acting based on emotions, but hearing your words, I think for you, that chest might not be that chest.”
I pressed my finger firmly against Briar Churchill’s ample breast. Churchill was a bit surprised but tried not to show her flustered state in front of me by not shouting or moving her body.
“If you could think with these big things, you’d obviously already be the top student at Huangpu.”
“If you’re jealous, just say you’re jealous.”
“So, are you going to have lunch together?”
“No, I won’t go.”
Churchill unexpectedly refused. I asked her the reason.
“Why? No appetite, or need to fast for creative inspiration? For that, I haven’t seen you properly sit down and write a single musical score.”
“It’s because of you, I can’t eat with you, Eun-young.”
“Did I do something?”
“You’re not asking because you don’t know, right?”
Churchill was smiling, but there was a coldness in that smile. I understood that she was conscious of the issue between us that I thought had been resolved, namely my appointment with Zhou on Wednesday.
“If it’s about that issue, you gave up on laying your hands on me, didn’t you?”
“Earlier, I asked what’s good about being a man, remember?”
“Yes, it was just a light joke, wasn’t it?”
“Actually, I said it because I feel like I’m experiencing the pain that a man, not a woman, feels.”
“Is there such a thing? The pain of being kicked in the testicles, something like that?”
I made a light joke, but Churchill didn’t reciprocate. She let out a bitter sigh and said:
“In many societies, it was forgiven for a man to take a second wife, for a man to abandon his wife and sow his seed with another woman, but not the other way around. It’s unfair, but that’s how the world was. It’s possible for a husband to go sow his seed with another woman. But no man forgives a wife for receiving seed from another man. Is it because men have less patience and find that pain harder to bear? Or do they complain of greater pain because it truly is more painful?”
“So, you feel that kind of pain at the fact that I’ll be embraced by Zhou?”
“It’s obvious that you’ll be in that major’s arms tomorrow night, and on Thursday morning you’ll wake up naked in each other’s arms and come out to the field. It’s not easy to stay calm. Even talking to you right now is painful. Last time, you said I had no reason to want you so seriously, told me not to make marriage jokes, remember? I’m sure, commoner. I want you. Not in the way a woman wants a woman, not in the way a woman wants a man, but in the way a man wants a woman. That’s how I want you. Without that, this pain doesn’t make sense.”
“You’ve lived getting a lot of what you wanted.”
I let out a deep sigh. Honestly, hearing Briar Churchill speak like that didn’t fail to evoke sympathy and affection, but for various reasons, giving up on sleeping with Zhou Lizhi seemed to be becoming an impossible choice.
“Sometimes you lose things too. Right before your eyes.”
“Like how you lost that woman named Mayumi?”
I flinched at those words. For a moment, an inexplicable anger surged, but it was nonsensical for me to get angry at Churchill right now, so I suppressed my anger with all my might and smiled.
“Yes. Like how I lost that Japanese girlfriend. That’s how the world is.”