In This Life, The Greatest Star In The Universe

Translator: MarcTempest

Editor: Rxel

Chapter 248

Woojoo’s voice trembled.

“Eunsung? Is that you?”

-…No, it’s not? I’m not Eunsung.

“The voice changer is not working yet.”

-Really, Hyung? Oh. The writer said it would definitely work.

The other person fell for Woojoo’s bait right away. The people laughed at his gullible reaction. The MC asked Woojoo, seeing his anxious expression, “What’s your relationship with him?”

Woojoo briefly explained that he was his junior when he was an administrative soldier.

-What? The voice changer was on? Aww. I got fooled again. I got fooled again!

His voice sounded even more talkative because of the voice changer. His cheerful tone almost made him smile.

“Long time no see. How have you been?”

-Don’t do that. Don’t try to shake my heart with your friendliness.

“What do you mean shake your heart?”

-Your tricks to make me weak and speechless, I know them all. Sergeant. I’ve been through them more than once or twice.

He said in his voice-changed voice.

-But is it okay for you to keep talking to me like this? I can’t speak comfortably if you do this!

His voice that made Woojoo laugh even when he just listened to it, coupled with the voice changer, made Teen Spirit Hwiyeon and Wild’s Woosan cover their mouths and laugh.

The MC said, “Calm down. We’ll block him, so you can just speak freely. We guarantee complete anonymity.”

-You didn’t guarantee anonymity.

“Uh, well…”

-Ugh, whatever. I lost interest.

The MCs and the staff started to laugh at the appearance of the uncontrollable character. He spoke as he pleased.

-Anyway, let’s start. I’m Ha Eunsung, who was the junior administrative soldier of Sergeant Seon Woojoo. Applause!

“Wow!”

“Why are we clapping, by the way?”

He was going crazy because of him. Really.

“Why did you come here today?”

-Yes. I came here today to expose the misdeeds of Sergeant Seon!

“His misdeeds?”

-Yes. I suffered a lot from him. I had so much resentment piled up in my chest that it became a lump… those cruel acts…

As Woojoo looked at the distant mountain, the MCs asked in an interested voice, “What exactly happened that made you feel that way?”

-Really. There’s no end to it. No end!

Woojoo cut him off.

“Eunsung.”

-Yes??

“Can you take off the phone for a moment, and see the red button there?”

-Yes. I see it.

“Can you press it?”

-Just a moment.

The call ended with a ‘beep’.

There was a second of silence, and then everyone at the table collapsed with laughter.

They laughed for almost five minutes until the call was reconnected.

-Look at this! I got scammed again! Again! Again!!

He sounded angry, but his pathetic voice made them laugh again.

‘I can see why they always teased him’, someone commented, and Woojoo nodded.

-I really suffered because of him! I was happy before I joined the army, but he messed everything up for me… Ugh!

The MC asked the voice, “What was so hard?”

-He was the weirdest person in the world, and I was the only one who knew it. When I transferred as a new recruit, he was the administrative soldier who took my photo. The one on my discharge certificate.

“And then?”

-He was strange from the start. He kept telling me to pose in the ‘best angle’ when he took the photo.

Woojoo interrupted him.

“Didn’t your photo turn out really well?”

-Well, yes, but that’s not the point! Ah, can you please make him be quiet? I’m scared of him.

One of the members who was sitting next to Woojoo burst out laughing.

-Anyway, I was soon assigned as an administrative soldier too. The other seniors told me I was lucky. They said Seon Woojoo was well-liked. He was handsome and nice.

“Wasn’t he?”

-He was crazy…!

He said it so bluntly that the MCs clapped their hands and screamed with joy.

Woojoo just scratched his head awkwardly.

-As soon as I moved into the barracks, I saw him. You know the floor, right? He was jumping on it by himself, with his arms stretched out. Like a hopping vampire. He turned his head and looked at me… It was so scary!

Woojoo lowered his head silently, and the studio erupted in laughter.

-Then he asked me, ‘Who are you?’ I stuttered an answer, and he said, ‘I’m Hong Kong Grandma’ and kept jumping. I was so confused that I blurted out, ‘Aren’t you a vampire?’ I think that’s when things went wrong.

“Why?”

-He said he liked my way of speaking.

Woojoo explained, “I was under a lot of stress at that time, and I had no outlet for it.”

-That was his excuse too. He said he was stressed from studying for the college entrance exam and composing music. He tormented me while buying me delicious food, and he scanned me with his eyes. Then he complimented me, ‘You have a nice voice.’

“Was that a bad sign?”

-Yes. He suddenly said his dream was to be a producer, and he didn’t ask for my opinion. He said, ‘I’ll make you a singer.’

“Puhaha!”

They all thought they had no more laughter left, but his army junior made it possible.

-It was hell from then on. I had to do my work, and after that, I had to take vocal training. I! Didn’t! Want! To! Be! A singer!

“Did your skills improve?”

-Yeah…

A gloomy voice answered.

-He taught me really well. He had a keen sense of things, and his eyes would widen whenever I slacked off a bit. Thanks to him, I learned how to sing in a month.

Woojoo nodded.

“He was an amazing friend, with a great voice and talent.”

-Really?

His voice brightened up and everyone chuckled. He coughed and continued.

-Anyway, that’s not the important part! It was such a hard military life. Vocal training was exhausting enough, but he would drag me along and talk about composing all day long, even during meals! This song is like this, that song is like that. I couldn’t do anything because he was my senior.

Woojoo interrupted.

“But you learned how to use MIDI, right?”

-Yes. Thanks to him, I could compose a bit… No! That’s not the point.

He sighed and complained.

-I was so miserable, really… I couldn’t tell anyone about this.

“Why?”

-He was a master of politics. He was so good at socializing! He said he was a trainee before, but I’m sure he was doing politics.

The writers laughed at Woojoo’s expression, which had earned him a weird nickname.

They were already excited about what to put in the subtitles.

-His image was too good! The commander also said, ‘If I had a son like him, I’d have no regrets.’ He was handsome and nice, and everyone said so! I was going crazy…!

“You must have felt like an odd one out there.”

-Yes, once I muttered, ‘Sergeant Seon Woojoo is a bit strange.’ But no one! No one! Agreed with me. That made me crazier. He was diligent and warm to others, but not to me. Once, he spent a whole week asking me what to buy for his mother’s birthday. I almost choked on kimchi every time!

He suddenly frowned.

-But singing was fun, and I improved a lot. I felt so inferior. I didn’t know anything about music, but I got a reward vacation for singing in the army!

“Pffft!”

-Huh? But now that I think about it, it wasn’t that bad…?

“Right?”

He snapped back as Woojoo joined in.

-No way!

“…”

-I contacted this show because his image was too! Good! I thought I had to reveal his true self to the world.

“Eunsung.”

-Yes.

Woojoo apologized to the voice that sounded dumbfounded.

“I’m sorry.”

-No. It’s fine. Actually, he helped me a lot…

His tone changed again.

-But he’s a good person!

Everyone laughed as he said ‘He’s a good kid!’ after badmouthing him like an old schoolmate.

As the story came to an end, the MC asked, “Did you two meet for the first time after you were discharged from the military?”

-No, we kept in touch often! But we were so close that we promised to see each other frequently after we got out.

Woojoo nodded in agreement.

“Unfortunately, we couldn’t meet. We didn’t have time.”

-Yeah. It was my vacation when he finished his college entrance exam, but when I tried to meet him, he suddenly became a hero. And then he said he became a trainee, and two months later, he sent me a picture of the Something chart saying ‘Hyung’s song is a hit’.

“Wait, wait a minute. How did this happen?” someone asked in disbelief.

Woojoo briefly summarized what happened before New Black debuted and the MCs were shocked.

“What, you had so many episodes before you debuted?”

“Oh? I remember that day, it was my daughter’s college entrance exam day! So that hero was Woojoo? Oh my god…”

The person on the phone agreed.

-Everyone was so surprised. By the time I was discharged, he was on TV saying ‘Thank you, Soufflé’. The ones who came in later than me must have been more shocked. He was on Around the World as Dice as a discharged soldier.

It was amazing.

Woojoo would be surprised too if Minki Hyung quit his job and debuted as a singer with the stage name ‘LisaLover’.

The conversation about their military days ended and the MC asked about his current situation.

“What are you doing these days?”

-Me?

He said.

-I’m preparing to debut as a singer.

“What…?”

Everyone blinked in disbelief. Woojoo was the same.

What was he?

Woojoo couldn’t help but ask.

“What do you mean? A singer?”

-Hyung kept telling me to be a singer, so I thought I’d give it a try for fun, but I passed the first round of the audition!

He said proudly.

-Did you think I only sang for two years? The trainer praised me as a finished vocal. I’m the main vocal in the team.

Except for the production staff who knew in advance, everyone laughed with incredulous faces.

Woojoo wondered how this could happen. His military junior suddenly debuting as a singer…

One of the excited MCs asked, “Which company and which team are you in?”

-I can’t tell you that. It’s a secret.

One of the MCs said to Woojoo, “Woojoo, you seem very surprised. How do you feel? Your military junior became your idol junior.”

“But you didn’t know this news?”

“Yeah, we talk often, but he doesn’t tell me much about himself.”

The MC asked him, “Why didn’t you tell him?”

-Ugh. It’s obvious, isn’t it? If I say I’m preparing to be a singer, he’ll bombard me with nagging texts, telling me how to have the right mindset, how important it is to keep my original intention, and sending me links to useful vocal lessons. He’ll grill me for sure!

Then he said in a childish voice.

-I feel so connected to New Black whenever I watch them on TV! Yeah!

“No, they said our kids are great.”

-Really? Do you really think so?

The main MC showed a grin as he said they were the best characters ever.

“When you debut, you have to come to our Shinto Rabbit too. Then it’ll be your turn, Woojoo.”

“Yes, I’ll do my best with all my bones.”

-You really mean it? I recorded this!

A warm laughter flowed out.

He congratulated his junior who declared his debut out of the blue and ended the call.

A brief silence.

He was so talkative that it felt quiet even though it wasn’t.

“It’s suddenly quiet, isn’t it?”

Someone’s snicker followed by immediate attention to Woojoo.

“Woojoo, what kind of life have you lived?”

“This is almost a minefield level. It feels like something pops out every step I take.”

“It’s amazing. There’s a case where black history and anecdotes coexist.”

They all nodded in agreement with the last remark.

Woojoo just smiled with a detached face.

As the broadcast went on, he saw the guests saying ‘let it be, ehehe’ and he understood why.

His mind was fuzzy.

“This is a new concept talk show: Find Your Memory!”

“Dear viewers, you are watching a human cultural asset that has both black history and anecdotes.”

If there was anything good, it was that the production staff loved it like the most excited people in the world.

Especially the PD had a face like he had a cold beer.

The MCs who were having fun teasing him didn’t need to say anything.

It was the first time Woojoo saw people who looked at him as lovingly as their president.

Like a talent sent from heaven…! That was how it felt.

“Look at our PD’s face.”

“He’s happier than when he had the octopus episode with Lee Yeonwoo. Look at that.”

“PD Kim? Happy?”

The PD nodded and gave Woojoo a thumbs up, which was caught on camera.

And…

“Yes, and we just got some news from our PD Kim! This special will be the first two-part broadcast in eight months!”

“Wow!”

As they all clapped like seals, Woojoo also clapped with a sad face.

“Applause for Woojoo!”

“Why are you doing this! Don’t do it to me…!”

“Wow!”

Everyone was in a festive mood. Except him.

As the clock approached midnight.

The members of New Black were gathered in the dorm. They all had their phones in front of them.

The youngest rolled around in the living room and asked, “Hyungs, when do you think they’ll contact us?”

“Hmm, I think we have to wait for the ordinary people first. We are probably at the end…?” Bijoo answered as he peeled an apple. 

Junghyun, who was nibbling on an apple next to him, asked, “Do you think Woojoo is doing well?”

“…”

A brief silence followed.

‘There’s no way he’s not.’

‘He must be having a blast.’

Everyone looked at the ceiling and smiled contentedly.

Rihyuk lowered his head and said, “He can’t do badly. That’s his specialty.”

“I think this is the time when the PDs would burst into laughter. Usually, after the recording starts, around this time, the PDs look at Woojoo like a treasure goblin.”

They laughed as they recalled the previous recordings.

“But what are they doing on the scene? Did anything new come up?”

“I don’t know. What could come up…”Jiho, who had been thinking hard, said, “Well, we haven’t debuted in the entertainment industry for long yet. How much can there be? There’d be much more after he debuts.”

“That’s true.” Bijoo looked out the window and said, “But I hope it ends soon. At this rate, Woojoo Hyung will have to go straight from Sangam-dong to the salon…”

They sat around the living room with their phones and yawned as they waited.

In the meantime, Jiho and Rihyuk flipped through the scripts for the music show MCs, and Junghyun rummaged through a bag of jelly.

Bijoo stared at his phone and muttered earnestly, “Call us. Call us…”

When.

“Oh! It’s here!”

Everyone woke up and gathered around the phone with excited faces.

“Hello!”

Maybe a distorted voice was coming out of the recording studio?

It didn’t matter anyway, since their leader would know who they were.

-Are you sure you’re okay? Our show doesn’t cover your back.

“We’re fine! We’ll just go with real names for the back talk!”

Soon, the New Black members happily told the stories that Woojoo had been embarrassed about.

“Hahaha!”

It was funny just to think about it, but the reaction on the other side of the phone was dull.

-Ah, I see?

-That happened!

They tried to react, but they sounded indifferent. They seemed to be smiling and saying, ‘Oh, really?’

The four members soon became gloomy.

Bijoo asked, “Is our story not fun…”

-No, that’s not it. Guys.

Their leader explained with a laugh.

-It’s because there were so many impactful things happening.

Ah! They got a lot of airtime.

They smiled contentedly at the thought of being OK. The MCs also murmured among themselves.

-Right. I would have laughed my ass off if this was normal, but the previous ones were too stimulating.

-Hang in there! New Black! You did your best…!

-Are you having a hard time? Anything hard?

As they asked, “Are you guys struggling?” The New Black members just tilted their heads.

“Huh? Why are they pitying us?”

And as they reacted like that, they started to get curious.

What on earth had happened at the filming site?

“Good job, everyone!”

They said goodbye to each other after working hard.

They exchanged numbers with the leaders of TNT, Teen Spirit, and Wild, and gathered with the guests to take a proof shot.

They also greeted the MCs who were grabbing their coats.

“Oh. Right. Give me your phone. I’ll give you my number.”

The MCs of Shintoki quickly saved their contacts in Woojoo’s phone book.

Yoo Changhyun, who he already knew, patted his shoulder and said he did well today.

“Good job, everyone!”

“Wow, Woojoo, you really worked hard today!”

Woojoo thanked the staff, thank you, thank you, as he walked around.

He wrote a sign saying ‘To whoever’ at the request of the writers who had prepared the paper in advance. And took a commemorative photo.

He also got a request from the PD to appear on the show again.

“We only revealed half of the tips we got today. Please come to our show again. Please.”

“…Okay, I will.”

“Oh. And take this too.”

He handed Woojoo something like a gift card for five people. It could be exchanged for cafe cakes or coffee drinks.

“Oh, thank you…”

“PD Do Joongi gave it to me earlier and asked me to deliver it as a celebration of your appearance.”

“Thank you…”

Tears streamed down his face in his heart. It really became an impossible thing to avoid.

But he thought he wouldn’t die alone.

“Why are you staring at me…?”

“No, nothing. Hanjo.”

Hanjo flinched at the ghostly gaze.

“I hope you’ll be number one tomorrow too.”

“Thank you, Street Boys too. I hope your next album will be a hit!”

He parted with Hanjo after exchanging promises to hang out together when they went back.

Woojoo got into the car that had been waiting for him in the parking lot.

Minki Hyung handed him a convenience store bag full of snacks and patted his shoulder.

“Good job, man.”

“Hyung, you too. Thanks for waiting.”

It was past 2 a.m.

The car started to drive on the empty road lit by streetlights. Woojoo looked at the night view passing by the window and asked, “Do we have to go straight to the shop?”

“Right. The timing was a bit awkward… The recording took much longer than expected.”

“But it was still faster than when we filmed for 11 hours to do part two.”

The production team was very happy that they managed to get two weeks’ worth of content in a short time.

“Ugh…”

Woojoo drank a can of chocolate drink and felt a bit more alive.

His throat was sore from reacting throughout the recording.

He was tired, but he felt good thinking that he did something worth broadcasting.

He turned on his smartphone that he had turned off and saw the messages.

He chuckled at the message from the youngest, who said he wouldn’t sleep until he got home, and then went to bed five minutes later.

There were also the TNT kids who kept saying food, food, food.

He also noticed the messages from Lee Junghoon, his elementary school classmate, and Ha Eunsung, his junior in the army.

He felt strange as he looked at them.

It seemed like the people he had met along the way remembered him well.

He had a lot of good people around him. He felt relaxed as he thought that.

“Hyung, I’m going to take a nap.”

“Okay. I’ll wake you up later.”

It was too late to reply, so he decided to send them tomorrow. He put away his phone after leaving a message to his siblings that he would see them soon.

Beep.

A new text message appeared.

[This is the PD of Men Go. Did you receive the gift?]

“Whaaat!”

Woojoo woke up with a start.