080 Frustration and Anticipation
– Era of the Wastes, Cycle 216, Season of the Rising Moon, Day 3 –
“Ready for another round?” Vicente, in his traditional martial arts uniform, was looking expectantly at Terry.
Terry felt competitiveness and tiredness compete inside himself.
Vicente was a mana martialist. Apparently, Vicente rotated his outpost residence on a different schedule, which is why they had not met in the previous cycle.
Soon after Terry’s arrival at the Libra Outpost in this year, however, Terry had caught the man’s attention while Terry was practicing with Sigille. Vicente took an interest in Terry’s quick spellwork with the Immovable Object spell.
Vicente had asked for an unarmed spar and since then, they sparred every day with each other.
Terry found himself ill-matched against the mana martialist. Terry’s disruption discharges were completely useless, for one. Even though Terry had an advantage in mana foundation, he could barely keep up while pushing his burst techniques to their limits.
If it was not for the Immovable Object spell, Terry would not even be able to put up a proper fight. His quickened casting allowed Terry to transfix his equipment to block whenever he could not dodge in time.
That ability was exactly why Vicente wanted to spar with Terry. It forced Vicente to react just as quickly as Terry cast his spell. Otherwise, Vicente would risk suffering the force of his own attack.
Terry had not won a single time, even though Vicente had never once used a mana resonance technique. This ongoing situation caused Terry’s expression to shift between resolve and frustration.
At least I am getting better… I think.
Terry wrinkled his forehead.
Not sure… If I am, then so is he. No getting ahead for me.
Terry smiled wryly. “Sure. About time I win for once.”
“Not if I can help it,” retorted Vicente, and smirked.
***
“Greetings, Whaka Sigille,” said Dhruv and stepped next to Sigille, who was watching Terry’s spar from some distance away.
“Whaka Dhruv.” Sigille smiled warmly. “How are the preparations with Little Emily?”
“Going well,” replied Dhruv. “Not long before we can set her up on her druid path.”
“And?” prompted Sigille with a teasing smile.
“And what?” wondered Dhruv with a furrowed brow.
“How are you feeling about your first proper disciple?” asked Sigille. “Did I promise too much?”
Dhruv sighed. “No. The girl is diligent, talented, and… cheerful. That last part worries me somewhat.”
Sigille burst out laughing and slapped Dhruv on his back. “Are you afraid that she may accidentally lift your spirits, Whaka Dhruv? Does she get in the way of your endless moping?”
Dhruv’s eyebrow twitched. “You again…” He shook his head and smiled weakly. “The opposite actually. I hope that my own moods don’t rub off on her. I’m still not sure if this whole disciple thing is a good idea.”
“Well, you do know there is a way to avoid that,” said Sigille with a sideways glance towards Dhruv. “Can’t bring your disciple down if you lift yourself up.” She looked at him warmly. “I get it. If anyone does, I do. We four were a group. I feel your pain, just like I’m sure you feel mine.”
Dhruv only grunted in response.
“Looking back…” Sigille shook her head. “If it was not for my accepted son, I may have lost myself back then. Not only Whaka Matteo, all of my disciples helped me take my mind off what I had lost.”
“Seeing them grow into their own…” Sigille smiled in reminiscence. “It helps to see something positive for once.”
Sigille placed a hand on Dhruv’s shoulder. “I can’t be the only family you have forever.” Sigille snorted. “Frankly, I’m not that great. And I’m out too much, anyway. I get that you want to protect this outpost, but you should get out some, too.”
Dhruv raised an eyebrow. “It sounds as if you were setting this up for my sake instead of the girl’s.”
“I can have more than one motive,” said Sigille and shrugged her shoulders. “I consider Emily to be family. I can still see the little thing smiling with her missing teeth showing. Always toddling behind Matteo with curious eyes. If it was not for that little angel, Matteo would have…”
Sigille sighed and frowned. “Developed even more suicidal tendencies, probably. Having something to protect is important in pushing through. Find something worth living for. I have found my accepted son. Matteo has found his little sister.”
Sigille looked at Dhruv. “I want to do whatever I can to help her. Just like I want you to find something to protect besides a building and a tree. Someone worthy of your protection.”
For a while, Sigille and Dhruv observed Terry’s spar in silence.
“Speaking of family, I saw Emaldine again,” said Dhruv. He glanced at Sigille. “It seems that she plans to stay for a while. Have you two…?”
“We haven’t spoken much,” said Sigille and lowered her gaze. “We spar sometimes. We speak about training…”
“I don’t know.” Sigille shrugged. “I’m worried that if I push too much, she will leave again. I’m happy that she’s here. I know she is alive and healthy. I can see her. That’s enough for now.”
“Hmm…” Dhruv returned his gaze back to the spar. “That nephew of yours spends nearly all his time training in some way or another. What exactly is haunting him?”
“Heh,” exclaimed Sigille, and pulled back the corners of her lips. “Only his own expectations. Or aspirations. Or ideals. Whatever you want to call it.”
Sigille shook her head. “I worried at the beginning, but he actually seems more at ease when he is working on something. He pushes himself, but he does not force himself. At least from what I can tell.”
“Are you sure?” asked Dhruv with narrowed eyes. “Then, why does he look so frustrated?”
Sigille snorted amusedly. “Because he has not won yet. Despite Vicente giving him a sizable handicap.”
Dhruv turned to her with incredulous eyes. “Does he realize that he is fighting a specialist more than twice his age?”
“No, and I don’t intend to tell him.” Sigille chuckled. “You can try informing him, but I don’t believe Terry’s expression would change either way. He is wearing that same unsatisfied face in the all-out spars with me. Fortunately, his frustration appears to act as motivation.” She smiled warmly. “It’s not the demotivating kind.”
Sigille observed the spar calmly. “I’ve seen Terry take breaks when he is facing a wall. Only, Terry’s way of dealing with it seems to involve scribbling in his notebook, practicing the fundamentals, and reading through the Path of a Mage.”
“Taking inspiration from the Human Paragon?” commented Dhruv. “That’s quite the path to follow…”
***
Early in the morning, Terry was sitting cross-legged on the grounds in the training area. His arms were outstretched with his palms facing down.
He lowered his arms to bring his palms towards the tips of the three spears that were placed in front of him.
Terry had talked long about this exercise with his aunt Sigille. Just like Terry had expected, Sigille had raised objections at first.
Terry’s magic resistance was already higher than average thanks to his large mana pool.
The principles of general magic resistance were straight forward. Your own mana pool offered the most basic defense. With a large mana pool, a mana-based attack might feel like a drop in a bucket. Depending on what the drop was made of, it would still show effects, but most basic spells or aspected discharges had their limitations.
A large mana pool also sped up recovery and helped with healing your injuries. Even more so, when you knew how to guide that mana actively.
Few people chose what Terry had asked for. Most only resigned themselves if their aspect impairments would otherwise prevent them from bursting.
Despite everything, Terry had persisted in his wish.
In the end, Sigille had acquiesced with the reasoning that even a slight effect can present a danger if it threw you off-balance. A real battle rarely ended after a single attack, after all. There was value in increasing resistances beyond your mana pool’s passive effects.
Sigille had insisted that Terry should not proceed without her supervision. Under Sigille’s observant gaze, Terry circulated his mana according to her instructions while mentally preparing for the pain to come.
Inhale… Hold.
Terry first moved his hands towards the fire-aspected spear. He clenched his teeth against the pain.
Exhale… Pause.
Terry retracted his hands. Afterwards, he moved on to the coldfire-aspected spear before finally reaching the lightning-aspected spear.
After finishing one round, Terry closed his eyes and focused on his mana movement.
“Stop for a moment, Terry.” Sigille spoke to Terry.
Terry opened his eyes and threw her an inquisitive glance.
“The censor has arrived,” said Sigille. She pointed with her chin towards the other side of the training grounds. “It appears that Ghinn has drawn the short stick again.”
Terry recognized the man that had been present during his first call to Arcana.
They had called his family in Arcana a second time shortly before they had left the Libra Outpost, but at that time, a different censor had been present.
Sigille had requested another call right after they had returned to Libra City.
“Hmm…” Sigille squinted her eyes. “It looks as if he is going to talk to Dhruv first. Ghinn will probably be even more testy afterwards.”
“I almost feel bad for the guy, but that’s the career he chose.” Sigille scratched her nose with her pinky finger.
“Dhruv?” muttered Terry. “Is it about Emily?”
Terry saw another familiar face: The ministerial representative Lucas that frequently hung around Guardian management and even more frequently quarreled with Sigille
“Most likely,” replied Sigille. “They are very nosy when it comes to invoking disciple privileges. Now that this area has become part of the Preacher’s district, it will only become worse. Dhruv has never accepted a personal disciple before. This should allow him some liberties, but it may also make them more suspicious.”
“Strictly speaking, there should not be any problem, but considering Emily’s talents, they won’t let this go without applying pressure.” Sigille snorted derisively. “They’re lucky that Whaka Dhruv doesn’t have much of a temper.”
Terry pondered her words while watching Lucas talk with Ghinn.
“What would normally happen with Emily?” asked Terry. “If it wasn’t for Dhruv taking her in?”
“You have spent some time with the dungeon scavengers. What do you think of Emily’s mana signature?” Sigille did not take her gaze away from the censor.
“Talented,” said Terry. It was the first word that came to his mind. “If I had seen her in the Greenhouse, she would have fit right in.”
Terry thought it over further. “Unaspected. If she was younger and not stuck in Tiv, she could have applied to Arcana Academy. From how she was shaping mana, even with little instruction, she might have made the cut. Her earth aspect is strongly pronounced. The only comparable aspect gift I have ever sensed was with Ying’s spirit aspect.”
“And there lies the biggest problem,” said Sigille. “The current mood in the Assembly is still set by the Preacher and his allied factions.” Her expression turned sour. “If you desire to use mana, then in their eyes, you are not your own person anymore.”
Sigille clicked her tongue. “In their eyes, the original sin is to accumulate mana and use it for your own purposes. Learning mana use or making a living from mana means that you have to take orders from them.
“You want to learn?” Sigille glowered. “Then you have to pay with your liberty. Join the army. Craft for the army. Provide your services for free to the empire. Spend most of your time on missions set by the empire. No, you do not get to deny any tasks.
“Bah!” scoffed Sigille. “In the end, there are only two paths. Either you submit to becoming a soldier or you have to spend so much of your time on menial tasks that there won’t be much time left for learning, anyway.
“Submit or stagnate, pick your poison.” Sigille grumbled. “Or do what most of the empire is doing: Give up on mana until the Wastes come knocking.”
Terry furrowed his brow. “So this disciple arrangement…?”
“The mentor takes on most of the disciple’s obligations, so that they can focus on learning,” said Sigille. “Dhruv will shoulder most of the tasks that would otherwise fall to Emily.”
“That does not sound like a bad deal for the Tiv Empire…” Terry tilted his head. “Why are they so up in arms about it?”
“Because ‘they’ are not the Tiv Empire,” grumbled Sigille. “Yes, the Tiv Empire definitely does not lose out in this. Normally, people on Dhruv’s level have a strong enough position to reject unreasonable requests. However, if we take on a disciple, then we have to be somewhat more accommodating.
“One reason that I still have to deal with the witch.” Sigille scowled. “I refrain from making life as hard for her as I could and she refrains from making life difficult for my disciples.”
Sigille emitted a low growl. “Unfortunately, our unpleasant arrangement does not stop her from being a tremendous pest beetle whenever she feels safe doing so.”
Terry subconsciously shook his head with a sigh.
“Anyway, the people that object to the disciple arrangement are doing so out of zealous principle,” said Sigille. “They want mana users to stay in their place and get used to it.” Her voice was full of scorn. “If the mentor can shoulder the obligations, then the disciple may get the mistaken idea of being their own person as opposed to a servant of the empire.”
Terry recalled the words of Minister Kipkoi during the reception.
‘Mana use is a privilege.’ Mana is not your own to use, huh? The ‘most important lesson’.
Terry scoffed inwardly and stopped thinking back to his talk with the Preacher. Remembering the man’s comments about Terry’s aunts only served to make Terry angry.
“My disciples rarely have Little Emily’s problem,” said Sigille. “Most of them have heavy external control impairments, often with further aspect impairments on top.
“Emily’s talents will invite more pushback than I am usually getting.” For a moment, Sigille was silent and scratched her nose with her pinky while wearing a defiant look. “The most troublesome part is not necessarily Emily’s overall talent, but her aspect gift.
“While the druid path incorporates the earth aspect somewhat, it mostly revolves around the nature aspect.” Sigille shook her head with a sour expression. “They will try to frame this as Emily wasting her gift and use that to justify forcing Emily on a different path.”
“What path would that be?” wondered Terry.
“Currently?” Sigille contemplated the question. “Probably join the army and focus on setting up fortifications. If they can pressure her into mana crafting as well, then perhaps mass-producing combat constructs.”
Terry’s eyebrow twitched.
Prohibit those that want to do it and force those that do not want to do it? Stupid?
Terry recalled the time he brought up the topic of Brynn’s aspect gift with her.
Wasting talents. Pursuing your interests.
Forcing talents. Ignoring interests.
Terry subconsciously lowered his gaze in thought. He thought of his aunt Brynn. He recalled Samuel’s reprimanding words on talent and their talk about the Veilbinder. He thought of himself when he entered the Academy…
If anything, you do not get to Auntie’s position with just talent. Even without an aspect gift in the related aspects, Auntie managed to become what she is.
Talent alone does not cut it. Talent can spoil you. Talent can be a curse.
Terry looked at Sigille.
Perseverance and grit.
‘It is not about where you end up or which road you take, but about always moving forward.’
Terry clenched his fists and reaffirmed for himself the kind of person he wanted to become.
“I hope they’ll get this sorted out in the morning,” muttered Sigille.
Sigille turned to Terry. “You should tell Vicente that your spar today has to be postponed. We’ll probably have the call right after lunch.”
“Mhmh…” Terry became pensive. A question was visible on his face.
“Out with it,” said Sigille with a chuckle. “If I can help with it.”
“I was wondering about Vicente,” said Terry. “About mana martialists, or rather about the unorthodox mana uses in general.”
“Ah, I think I see.” Sigille smiled with sympathy. “I guess most people with impairments will end up wondering at some point or other. I sure did.”
“Sure, the unorthodox paths offer options as well.” Sigille shrugged. “But such a step is difficult to take back.
“Right now, your mana cultivation is balanced and you can choose a particular burst technique depending on the circumstances.” Sigille stared into Terry’s eyes. “You can cast your spell. You can emit disruption discharges. You can do your other external mana control tricks.”
Sigille raised her brows. “Tell me, if you were unaspected and if you could choose either to never do spellwork or to never rely on magic items, which would it be?”
“Keep the spellwork,” replied Terry without hesitation. “Magic items are nice, but they have to be prepared beforehand. They can be damaged. There are material limitations. They are… I don’t know, less versatile? Less flexible? With spellwork, the only limit is your memory and ability.”
Terry spoke as if this was a question in the Academy, with no trace of bitterness at his own spell limitation.
“Right, I would choose the same,” said Sigille firmly. “I dismissed the unorthodox mana uses for the same reason. Less versatile.”
“Of course, if I had ever seen a path that mixes well with my own and does not pose any problematic limitations, it might have been different.” Sigille shrugged.
“In your case, I would advise additional caution,” said Sigille with a serious expression. “Your mana type seems to be exceedingly rare, which means that you might not even know what you would lose.”
Terry raised his brows.
“In the Union, there is one path that relies on something akin to inscriptions on your body,” said Sigille. “That can be made compatible with some spellwork as long as the inscription matches the aspect as well as some other requirements.”
Sigille observed the censor again. “For something like fire, you can find plenty of information about potential clashes and so forth.”
Sigille turned back to Terry. “With your oscillating mana, however, even the more common unorthodox paths would be a blind leap of faith.”
Sigille observed Terry’s expression curiously. “You might lose everything. Your mana cultivation. Your spell…”
Wastes no! Not gonna happen!
Terry frowned and scoffed inwardly.
You’ll have to claw my Immovable Object spell from my cold dead hands. I’ll find my own path…
Sigille smiled at Terry’s expression and then returned her attention to the censor.
***
“Go grab some food. I’ll send for you when we can have the call,” said Sigille.
Terry sighed.
“What?” exclaimed Sigille. “Not happy to talk with your family?” Her tone was teasing and not remotely serious.
“No, that’s not it!” Terry shook his head vigorously. “It’s just that these calls where I can’t speak freely are incredibly frustrating.”
“Yes, that they are,” grumbled Sigille. “Anyway, today we’ll mostly call to show that everything is fine. Soon, we’ll have you back with your family in Arcana. There, you will be able to truly exchange stories. Cheer up!”
Terry smiled and then went to his room.
While eating from his prepared plate and sitting at his desk, Terry read over his recent notes.
Terry was surrounded by a field of his own naturalized mana.
Several throwing needles were strewn over the table. Every minute or two, Terry took one up and threw it slowly above his bed.
Then Terry tried to transfix the needle at a specific angle without looking. An exercise intended to train both his casting reach, his bidirectional attraction fine-control, and sensing through his detection sphere.
Whenever a needle fell down to his bed, Terry recollected it with his bidirectional attraction glove and then placed it back on the table.
Additionally, Terry was using the aspecting technique that Wallace had shown him to aspect some more of his old throwing needles with oscillating mana.
Time passed while Terry was engrossed in his meal, his notes, and his training.
*Knock* *Knock*
Huh?
Terry absentmindedly glanced at the clock while picking up and throwing another needle.
Oh? Already?
Terry stood up and went to the door.
“Instructor Sigille has asked me to inform you that the call room can be used now,” said a Guardian whose face Terry vaguely recognized.
“Thanks,” muttered Terry, while the messenger had already turned to leave.
Terry closed the door again and cleaned up his desk.
When he turned to the bed, he saw a single transfixed throwing needle… Only this throwing needle was not transfixed where Terry expected it to be. It was lower than it should be.
Did I mess up the timing? The activation delay for that one shouldn’t be that high…
Terry tilted his head.
Most of the difficulty in this exercise was actually getting the angle right. His casting speed and reach were usually sufficient to get the height right.
This needle was the odd one out.
“Not the time,” mumbled Terry, and continued cleaning up.
He quickly made a note in one of his notebooks. Ever since the incident with his first oscillating needle getting left behind by the transportation scroll, Terry had made it a habit to document any potential oddity.
Afterwards, Terry left with a sigh.
I can’t wait to be back in Arcana and meet everyone in person again…
***