I’m Not That Obsessive

Chapter 23

After unpacking my few belongings, I took a shower. It was my first time using the bathroom attached to the bedroom. I had come to the entrance before, but never seen the inside.

The bedroom bathroom was smaller than the living room one, but it was more luxurious and convenient to use.

Inside the glass shower stall was a round bathtub, with a showerhead right next to it. There was also a fairly large dry area where I could dry my hair while looking at the full-length mirror right after showering.

After finishing my shower, I wiped my body with a towel and examined myself in the full-length mirror.

This body looked good enough to stand in front of a camera right away. Still, human desire is endless, so I plan to keep exercising regularly.

I touched my arms and my flat stomach. I lowered my hand a bit more and grabbed my lower parts.

“Hmm. Good.”

I wasn’t a narcissist who was satisfied just looking at my body, but today I felt like praising myself. It was thanks to frequently visiting Mitchell’s exercise room.

I stopped before I could start fondling myself further, fearing I might do something unnecessary. Unfortunately, I had left my change of clothes in front of the dresser, so I had to go out. I roughly put a towel on my head and opened the door, only to find Mitchell standing right in front.

“Oh, oh!”

Startled, I closed the door first.

“Why are you there? You scared me.”

“Why are you suddenly being shy? Just come out.”

“I don’t know about you, but I’m embarrassed. Just give me the clothes in front.”

We conversed through the slightly open door.

“You’ll get used to it anyway, so just come out.”

“…What do you mean, used to it?”

“Your body.”

“What?”

“Your body on my phone, I’m used to it.”

“W-what did you say?”

How much had this bastard been watching my video!

“Hey! Delete that! Delete it right now!”

I hastily tied the towel around my waist and rushed out. Whether his words were true or not, I couldn’t let this slide anymore.

Ah, right, right! It was my fault for trespassing into Mitchell’s house in the first place. I know that, but let’s put all that aside and settle this here today!

“Give me your phone. Your phone!”

I quickly grabbed Mitchell’s phone that I spotted on the bedside table. Of course, it was locked.

“Give me your hand.”

I grabbed Mitchell’s hand and forcibly used his fingerprint to unlock it. As soon as it unlocked, I went straight to the photo gallery. Until then, Mitchell just watched without much resistance.

“……”

No matter how much I looked, there was no video of me. The gallery only contained photos related to various award ceremonies or pictures taken with acquaintances.

“Ha! You think I can’t find it this way?”

As soon as I discovered a locked album, I grabbed Mitchell’s hand again. As I tried to use his fingerprint, Mitchell finally spoke.

“Are you sure you want to see this?”

“What else could be wrong?”

“Are you sure?”

“……”

Something felt off, but getting rid of my video was more important for now. Just then, the album unlocked.

However, it contained a bunch of photos beyond my imagination.

All of them, all of them….

Why are all the people in here naked?

It’s a feast of flesh colors. And that’s not all. Private areas that should be secret are blatantly exposed, and hands that don’t know when to stop are occupying those spaces. They were all close-up photos or videos of men sticking together or showing every nook and cranny of their bodies.

“Now do you understand how dirty I play? But you need to know everything, right?”

I unknowingly gulped.

This guy, didn’t he say being gay was just a minor hobby?

No, it’s not….

There wasn’t a single woman in this secret album. All men, men I’ve never seen before, men who look familiar from somewhere, men!

“Of… course. I need to know everything about you. This is just… men. I’m… I’m a man too. What’s there to see. Ah, it doesn’t bother me at all.”

Although the words were choppy, I didn’t stutter.

While seeing a man’s naked body might not be a problem, where their fingers are going and what their mouths are holding is a completely different matter. It felt like being hit hard on the head with a hammer.

“Ugh.”

Strangely, my body feels itchy. It must be from seeing something so stimulating. Since I can’t change Mitchell’s innate tendencies, at this point, it might be easier to think that I’ve gotten one step closer to Mitchell.

I had to break Mitchell down to nano-units and swallow his entire life whole. That’s why I need to understand everything about Mitchell.

It doesn’t bother me. Yeah, it’s fine. It’s all fine. It really, really should be fine, but….

“Mitchell, where’s my video?”

No matter how much I looked, I couldn’t find myself. In trying to find my video, I ended up seeing more of others’, and those unsavory scenes were imprinted in my mind. No, I shouted internally, shaking my head. Get out. Get out!

“I deleted yours.”

“What? Really? For real?”

“Yeah. There’s no video of you on this phone.”

“……”

I almost fell for that smile. I must not believe his words at face value. There was another story hidden in his words.

“Saying there’s no video of me here means there’s a video of me on another phone, right?”

“Oh, smarter than you look, aren’t you?”

Mitchell, who was laughing playfully, suddenly brought his face close. In an instant, he was close enough for his breath to touch my face. Luckily, he pulled away quickly, but in that moment, I thought he was going to steal my lips. Just the thought made my face burn.

I had only intended to throw a noose around Mitchell to keep him from escaping my domain, but things weren’t going as planned.

Clearly, Mitchell was caught in the noose. But it felt like he was caught while completely naked. Only a thin rope wrapped around his body.

Even though I hadn’t pulled the rope, it was like the naked guy was walking towards me, about to pounce on me.

‘Sexual matters aren’t my jurisdiction.’

My lips kept getting dry. I couldn’t even make proper eye contact with Mitchell. His words pierced my ears and quickly disappeared.

“I don’t carry that phone around much. Don’t worry about it.”

“Mitchell, you know how well-behaved I’ve been for days, right? Do I look like someone who would tell your secrets to anyone?”

“No.”

“Right? I can really keep a secret. So please delete that. We’re going to be together anyway, right? I’m not planning to leave you, okay? I’ll be by your side for life. For life!”

“Isn’t that usually what people say when they confess?”

“Well, rather than that…”

“Do you like me?”

“Hmm, Mitchell, that’s not exactly what I mean. It’s prejudiced to think you can only say such things if you like someone.”

“Ah, so sticking by my side isn’t love, but obsession?”

Mitchell mentioned the word ‘obsession’. Well, I had brought it up first when I was raising my voice with Junman hyung earlier. And I had kindly said it in English for Mitchell to hear.

“Mitchell, think of it that way if it makes you comfortable.”

“I agreed to join hands with you because I have nothing to lose, but I need to know what your obsession is based on. You say you don’t love me, right?”

“……”

At some point, I became a person with no particular reason to live. Sometimes the saying that you don’t necessarily need to find a reason to live was comforting, but it was far from enough to restore my already crumpled heart.

I had no reason to live, but I didn’t want to die either. I was a bundle of contradictions.

I lost interest in everything that originated from me. Because the fire I fueled myself had gone out, I placed my life’s purpose externally rather than internally.

Living by focusing on others instead of myself.

Concentrating on others is the survival method I’ve realized for myself. It’s simple, yet cowardly and dangerous. I know full well that it’s an act that leads to unhappiness. I know, but knowing doesn’t mean I can control everything.

Unhealthy food tastes better, we’re drawn to things we’re told not to do, and ignoring uncomfortable truths is irresistibly tempting.

“That’s just how I’m made.”

“Your explanation isn’t very friendly.”

“Anyway… me being like this won’t cause you any harm. Isn’t it better, even?”

“So you’re going to obsess over me?”

“Yeah. But let me correct one thing, this isn’t obsession.”

“Then what is it?”

“Just… a game. Interest.”

“……”

“You said you’d play with me, right? I’d like you to enjoy my playful interest.”

“You’re saying you’ll play this game for life?”

“Is there a problem with that?”

Mitchell chuckled at my words. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

“If you’re playing, why shouldn’t I?”

Before I could grasp what he meant, Mitchell’s hand moved. He grabbed the towel wrapped around my waist and threw it far away.

“This is my way of playing. How about it?”

I was so shocked that I couldn’t even cover myself. I just opened my eyes wide and gulped.

“Don’t be surprised. It’s not like I’m going to force you. Just stay like that. I enjoy watching as much as doing it myself.”

“T-this is…”

“Because of you, it’s become difficult to make a boyfriend and I can’t do anything in this house, so you can endure this much, right?”

“……”

“Ah, no. You said anything was fine, right? I think you said it was okay even if I did it with other men here? Right?”

“…I’ll go to another room…”

“No, that won’t do. You have to stay together. You have to watch. See what I do with other guys.”

Mitchell smiled creepily with a face like an Asura.

“If you don’t want to see that, I’ll go to Las Vegas alone. Jeff is there, right? As long as I let you know my schedule wherever I go, it’s fine.”