I’m Not That Obsessive

Chapter 13

“What am I doing now…”

I looked up at the sky with empty eyes. I stood frozen in front of Mitchell’s car, unable to even think about opening the door.

If Mitchell hadn’t pushed me aside and opened the door, I might have stood there all day.

“Get in.”

Mitchell kindly pushed me into the car. He pushed somewhere between my waist and, well, my buttocks? Anyway, somewhere around there. I was so out of it that I couldn’t even resist and practically fell into the car.

I was still dazed about how today had passed. Even with Mitchell’s recommendation, to be cast in a work by none other than Director Robert…

It would be a lie to say I hadn’t expected it, but honestly, I had been casual about it, just feeling an urge not to miss out on the movie. When it became reality, my mental state couldn’t help but collapse.

“Mitchell… Mitchell, can’t I take this back? Can’t I just cancel saying I’m not confident?”

I clung to Mitchell as he got into the car. I grasped his arms and hands, shaking my head.

Mitchell just stared at his hand that I was holding. But I needed an answer right now.

“Hey? Mitchell. I really think I made a mistake. We haven’t signed anything definite yet, so I can still back out, right? Right?”

“…No. There’s a penalty fee.”

“No! Today was just a preliminary contract, the real one is supposed to be signed later…”

“Why, are you scared?”

“…”

“Scared because you’ve only played in Korea and now you’re in America?”

“Damn it. What are you saying?”

“Damn? Damn what? Fuck?”

“Ah, if you’re American, use American swear words! Don’t use ours. This really pisses me off!”

“I think I like your swear words better than ours. They seem to make the other person angrier.”

That’s true. I immediately nodded.

“Shut up and start practicing from now on. Unless you want to act like an idiot on set.”

“Who’s acting like an idiot? I’m a seasoned professional in this field… well…”

Even as I spoke, I found myself watching his reaction. Looking at Mitchell who seemed unbothered, I finally became certain.

“You knew I was an actor, didn’t you?”

“Of course, do you think I would have recommended you without knowing that? Am I crazy?”

“Your words are quite harsh.”

My hand holding Mitchell’s arm felt hot. Just as I was about to pull away due to the ticklish feeling, Mitchell’s hand suddenly came in.

That hand touched my chest and caressed my stomach.

“Hey!”

Before I could swat his arm away, Mitchell’s mouth opened even faster.

“I can see you’re in good shape, but work out a bit more. You’ll have to go shirtless.”

The strange touch left. The places Mitchell had touched felt hot. If it had been someone else, I might have been a bit surprised, but because it was Mitchell, that Mitchell who had been splitting a man’s buttocks, I unknowingly became several times more tense.

I’m trying not to mind, but honestly, I haven’t forgotten at all about the sex scene between the two men on the bed. Whenever I see Mitchell’s face, that image naturally comes to mind.

“I, I will. I have a good body. It can get even better.”

“Right. You have a pretty body.”

“…”

I was at a loss for words. Did Mitchell just compliment me…?

“I’ll help you build your body.”

“How?”

“Let’s go for now.”

As Mitchell started the car, I closed my mouth. My resolve to decline the movie role had faded, but I still felt dazed as if I’d been hit on the head several times.

What’s going on here?

It seemed like everything was proceeding smoothly except for my mental state.

***

On the way home, we stopped at Milky Way. It felt like I needed to eat something sweet to sort out my confused mind.

“Go ahead.”

Mitchell willingly agreed to my request.

He parked the car in the lot next to the café and said he’d wait in the car. Thinking it was better this way as going together might cause troublesome situations, I hurried to the café.

I picked out a bunch of bread and sandwiches at Milky Way and ordered two drinks as well. I came out of the store holding my chocolate drink and Mitchell’s coffee in each hand.

But I couldn’t deliver that coffee to Mitchell.

“Wow, Geon-woo. It’s been a while.”

Bae Junman.

The person I didn’t even want to call my older brother suddenly appeared before my eyes.

Why is he here? Did he come looking for me?

It feels like a discarded item has returned. He’s standing right in front of me. Irritation wells up. My hands lose strength and I end up spilling the coffee on the ground.

***

‘So I’m still on your obsession list.’

Junman sensed it as soon as he saw Geon-woo. His younger brother’s reaction, even spilling the coffee, clearly showed it. How could it not be so?

His brother, who used to follow him obsessively, couldn’t have changed after just a year apart. Geon-woo was essentially a patient.

A patient with a mental illness due to excessive possessiveness.

Junman thought he was the only one who could embrace such a brother. He stood confidently in front of his brother with a bright smile.

He had come to this cafe called Milky Way where a traveler said they’d encountered Geon-woo, but he hadn’t really expected to actually meet his brother.

What were the chances? He had just dropped in for coffee because he was thirsty, and ended up meeting Geon-woo. It hadn’t even been 10 minutes since he arrived. This could only be seen as divine intervention.

‘My source of money. Finally found you!’

Junman hugged the frozen Geon-woo tightly before letting go. Even then, Geon-woo showed no reaction.

“You, seeing your brother and not saying a word. I went through so much trouble to find you. I couldn’t bear not seeing my little brother.”

“……”

“I thought you’d naturally be in Korea. But America? That’s impressive. You must have had a hard time, right?”

“…How did you come here?”

“How? I came because I missed you, I said. Someone said they saw you here. I came just in case, and luckily met you right away. We’re family, you know. Even after what you did, there are still people who worry about you.”

“What I did? What did I do?”

“Ah, haha! Come on. Why so picky? It’s just a figure of speech.”

Junman laughed with a friendly face. He went on about trivial things like what to do about the spilled coffee, but Geon-woo couldn’t hear any of it.

His mind was filled only with thoughts of wanting to gag that mouth with the ice on the ground. He’s smiling now, but this man, his so-called brother, would abandon his brother and family without hesitation if things went wrong.

“You’ve seen me, now go.”

Geon-woo had abandoned Bae Junman.

More precisely, Bae Junman had coldly abandoned Geon-woo first. Abandoned and was abandoned. Their relationship deteriorated rapidly, and eventually Geon-woo abandoned Junman too. He cut off the relationship he had once thought he’d never let go of until death.

Cutting with a dull knife, the wound was mashed and smeared. The sense of pain transcended reality and butchered Geon-woo’s wound every moment. In the end, he had to give up everything and flee to America.

How much effort had he put in to heal the tattered wound, to pretend he wasn’t bleeding?

How deeply had he fallen during the time he lived quietly, confined in his house?

Despite all those efforts, what he had discarded came back. It was utterly unacceptable.

“I said go.”

Geon-woo wasn’t someone who picked up the past again.

At Geon-woo’s words, Junman’s face crumbled. For a moment he became a terrible demon, then returned to being a masked angel.

“What are you saying? Geon-woo. Did something happen while I didn’t see you? Hey, I’m sorry. It’s all my fault. Even though I’m your brother, I couldn’t take care of you properly. Tsk. It’s all my fault.”

His self-deprecating words and awkward smile spoke of Junman’s current state. He couldn’t and wouldn’t believe that his brother had changed.

He thought the illness of the mentally ill Bae Geon-woo couldn’t be cured so easily.

“Geon-woo. You…”

Just as he was about to continue, a man stood next to Geon-woo. Junman looked up at the man.

Mitchell Cronenwirth.

They were together just a few days ago, and they’re together again today. Junman admired the glamorous Hollywood star standing before his eyes, without any ulterior motives.

“Ah…”

Had he ever seen someone in his life where blonde hair and green eyes matched so well? For the first time, Junman thought a human could be beautiful. Even when he saw pretty women, he only thought about wanting to sleep with them, nothing more.

Mitchell was the first to make him want to keep looking back and focus. He had never felt such emotions towards a man before. It was natural. Junman wasn’t gay, after all.

Of course, he had slept with men mixed in with women at secret gatherings. That was possible due to special circumstances rather than a desire for men.

He had sucked a man’s genitals only because he was completely drunk and caught up in the group situation. It was his first time feeling this way while sober.

Junman imagined Mitchell positioned among naked women. Of course, Mitchell was also naked. Junman too, naked, rolling around with Mitchell in the group. Naked men and women entangled with bare bodies.

“What’s going on?”

Mitchell’s voice snapped Junman back to reality. Junman’s English vocabulary was limited to very basic words like “hello,” “apple,” and “what’s your name.” Naturally, he couldn’t understand the conversation between Geon-woo and Mitchell.

“Is he trying to take your picture again?”

At Mitchell’s question, Geon-woo shrugged. His answer came a beat late as he took a deep breath to calm himself.

“…No. It’s not like that.”

“Then what is it? Need help?”

“He’s my brother. My older brother.”

“Your older brother?”

“Yeah. But I have nothing more to do with him. He’s leaving.”

The quick-witted Mitchell immediately understood Geon-woo’s words. His attitude in introducing family was different. For some, family could be worse than strangers.

“Get in the car.”

Mitchell embraced Geon-woo’s shoulder and pushed him towards his car. Although he pushed forcefully, his touch was gentle. Gentle enough to make the watching Junman feel jealous.

“It was nice to meet you. We’re busy, so we’ll be going now. Take care.”

Junman couldn’t properly understand Mitchell’s rapid English. He only knew it was some kind of greeting.

Before he could even respond, Geon-woo had left and Mitchell followed, turning away. Junman just stood there, unable to say anything. He couldn’t even chase after them and stop them.

“This shouldn’t be happening. This isn’t right.”

He lost both Geon-woo and Mitchell.

Beside the lone Junman, only the spilled coffee remained.