I'm not going to be an Spirit! (Translate)

Chapter 43: Infiltrating the Detective Agency

Tokisaki Kurumi's figure vanished.

However, the two remaining individuals couldn't be certain that she'd truly left. Perhaps she was simply lurking within the shadows, biding her time for the perfect opportunity to strike. Unable to verify her location, they stayed on high alert, prepared for any surprise attacks she might launch.

A few minutes later, a small car approached at high speed and stopped by the roadside. Two men emerged one, dressed in a formal vest, had a stern appearance; the other was casually dressed and looked quite young.

Upon seeing them, both Dazai and Atsushi finally breathed a sigh of relief. These men were also members of the Armed Detective Agency: Doppo Kunikida and Junichiro Tanizaki.

Kunikida was a highly disciplined detective and considered a likely future director of the agency. His ability, Lone Poet, allowed him to transform written items in his notebook into real objects, as long as they weren't larger than the notebook itself and he was familiar with their structure and function.

Tanizaki, a specialist in intelligence gathering, infiltration, tracking, and surveillance, wielded the ability Snow Country, which enabled him to manipulate light within a certain space to create visual distortions for camouflage and projection.

Both were undoubtedly combat-type detectives one leaning toward endurance, the other toward assassination. With their addition, any lingering fears of Kurumi ambushing them were put to rest. In fact, with nearly half of the Armed Detective Agency's combat strength now gathered, they were confident that if they couldn't handle Tokisaki, the agency might as well pack up and go home.

"The agency only had the two of us available today, so we came immediately upon receiving the distress signal," Kunikida said, glancing at the chaotic scene of battle with a furrowed brow. "What happened here? Did you two actually fight that hard with the enemy?"

"Oh, you're overestimating us, Kunikida," Dazai replied with a wry smile. "This wasn't our handiwork."

"Then who?"

"Kurumi," Dazai explained with a sense of relief. "I've mentioned her before she's a new Port Mafia ability user, alias 'Nightmare.' We don't know the full extent of her powers yet, but we do know she's very powerful. If I hadn't used my acting skills to fool her, neither of you would have found us here."

"Nightmare was chasing this girl," Atsushi pointed to Bandage Girl, "and she's not in good shape. We should get her back to the agency as soon as possible."

Kunikida and Tanizaki followed his gaze and saw the girl lying behind the car. Her condition indeed looked critical. Although she was a spirit and not her true self, even her clone would vanish if it lost too much blood.

But she didn't blame her true form sometimes a convincing performance was necessary to win trust.

Kunikida approached Bandage Girl and knelt down to check her injuries. There were superficial bullet wounds on her arm and cheek, and a significant injury on her right leg where a bullet had gone through her calf, missing the bone but causing substantial blood loss. Urgent measures were required to stop the bleeding.

As he examined her, Kunikida noticed the extensive bandages wrapped around various parts of her body, yet when he unwrapped a portion, he found unblemished skin beneath. Although he found it odd that she wore so many bandages without severe injuries, he chose not to question it and began removing them to apply them where they were needed most.

"W-What are you doing!?" Bandage Girl exclaimed, her head foggy from blood loss. She opened her eyes wide, baring her teeth like an angry cat as Kunikida tried to remove her bandages.

"I'm moving the bandages to where they're actually needed. Is there a problem?" he asked with a serious expression. "There's no reason to have bandages over uninjured areas."

"My injuries are beyond your mortal comprehension," she retorted with a haughty sniff.

For Bandage Girl, her identity was tied to her bandages. Removing them was unthinkable; it would make her just another ordinary clone. She would rather endure the pain than allow that.

However, Kunikida looked perplexed and questioned, "Are you saying there's some kind of unseen injury?"

"Since the dawn of time, I've battled the vile Flame Demon, our clash shaking the heavens until the very concept of fate was obliterated," she replied, a glint of drama in her eye. "Even now, I bear the curse of searing purple flames. Only this sacred cloth, handed down by the ancients, can soothe my tormented soul."

"Flame Demon?" Atsushi repeated, bewildered.

"Sacred cloth?" Tanizaki echoed, raising an eyebrow.

"Bandages to soothe the soul?" Kunikida looked taken aback.

"Chuunibyou?" Dazai murmured knowingly.

Dazai's casual mention of the term caused Tanizaki to suddenly understand, while Kunikida and Atsushi remained mystified.

"Chuunibyou? Is that a serious condition?" Kunikida asked, puzzled. "Should we call Doctor Yosano for treatment?"

"I don't think Yosano-san can help with this one," Dazai coughed lightly. "Chuunibyou's hard to explain, but in general, don't overthink what they say. Just smile and accept it."

"But I still need her bandages for the bleeding," Kunikida insisted.

"Not a problem, use mine," Dazai offered, tapping his chest proudly. He unraveled a few damp, ragged strips of bandages from his arm and handed them over.

"You jumped in the river again, didn't you? These are unusable," Kunikida said, twitching in frustration.

"Amazing, Kunikida! My sharp-minded partner figured it out so quickly!" Dazai said with exaggerated praise.

"How about taking assignments seriously!" Kunikida snapped back, glaring at Dazai. Pulling out his notebook, he scribbled the word Bandages on a blank page.

Activating his ability, Lone Poet, Kunikida tore out the page, and in a flash of light, the paper transformed into a fresh roll of bandages.

With the bandages ready, he set to work on emergency measures to stop the bleeding. While they should take her to a hospital, Kunikida knew she might not make it in time without immediate care.

"That should slow the bleeding, but it's only a temporary fix," Kunikida said, carefully lifting the girl. "Tanizaki, call Yosano and have her wait for us in the infirmary. Dazai, you drive. Atsushi, give me a hand."

"Got it!"

"Calling her now."

"I don't have my license..."

With their tasks assigned, the group piled into the car, carrying Bandage Girl with them. As the engine started, they quickly left the scene.

Unseen by them, Tokisaki Kurumi reappeared at the spot where they had been, watching as they drove away.

"Excellent. Step one of infiltrating the Armed Detective Agency went smoothly," she thought, satisfied.

Having deceived someone as sharp as Dazai filled Kurumi with a sense of triumph and anticipation.

"Bandage Girl, whether or not you can gain the agency's trust is up to you now."

Chapter 44: The Benevolent Healer

Ignoring traffic laws all the way, Dazai Osamu's expert driving quickly brought the group back to the Detective Agency. Even Doppo Kunikida, typically a stickler for rules, didn't complain; after all, there was an injured person in critical need of medical attention, and every second counted.

With a sudden brake, the car stopped in front of the Agency's building, and the detectives swiftly exited the vehicle, carrying the unconscious Bandage Girl up to the third floor.

The Armed Detective Agency was based in a rather unassuming office building in Yokohama's commercial district. The first floor was a storage area, the second a café, and the third floor housed the actual Detective Agency itself. Despite being an ability wielding group as renowned as the Port Mafia, their facilities and manpower were nowhere near as lavish as their rivals. With only the revenue from their detective work to support them, leasing an entire building in Yokohama was unthinkable, let alone the five towering skyscrapers the Port Mafia boasted.

"Dr. Yosano, the injured party is here!"

They quickly pushed open the door to the medical office adjacent to the Detective Agency, carefully placing Bandage Girl on the bed.

"Oh, she's already unconscious? How boring."

Inside the medical office stood a woman with a mature appearance, dressed in a white blouse and black skirt, her hair adorned with a golden butterfly accessory. She rose from her seat, glancing at the closed-eyed Bandage Girl with a hint of disappointment, then placed a gleaming serrated saw on the table.

"You rushed me to prepare for an injured patient, and I even got my tools ready. But is there no need for a little 'treatment'?"

The others looked tense, some smiling awkwardly while others went pale, as if recalling something horrifying.

This was Akiko Yosano, the Detective Agency's exclusive doctor.

Her ability, "Thou Shalt Not Die," could instantaneously restore a severely wounded person to perfect health, no matter if they had crushed organs, brain damage, or missing limbs so long as they were clinging to life, she could bring them back to full health. However, her ability had a distinct limitation: it only worked on those at death's door. This meant that any conscious patient had to be driven to a near-death state before she could use her power.

The Detective Agency often faced dangerous situations, and injuries from bullet wounds, fractured ribs, and hand-to-hand fights were all commonplace. For the Agency's members, minor injuries were a non issue, as they'd heal in a few days. Major injuries were also nothing to fear; a blink, and they'd be as good as new. But the real horror lay in injuries that were just serious enough to require prolonged rest but not severe enough to warrant her ability.

In these cases, patients with injuries that would normally require months of recovery were brought to Dr. Yosano, who would 'prepare' them by various means until they were in a state near death, allowing her to heal them.

However, her ability had no effect on mental trauma. The experience left most of the detectives scarred, both physically and psychologically. Consequently, they had learned two survival strategies: either play it safe, avoiding injuries altogether, or go all out and sustain only the gravest of wounds.

Perhaps some people might enjoy Dr. Yosano's pre-treatment regimen, but unfortunately, the Agency was full of normal people. At least, in this respect, everyone could agree they were normal.

"Dr. Yosano, it's fine to 'prepare' the Agency members as you see fit, but please refrain from using that method on outsiders," Doppo Kunikida sighed. "At the very least, don't let your sadistic tendencies show, or it might reflect badly on the Agency's reputation."

"A small price to pay for saving a life, don't you think?" Dr. Yosano replied nonchalantly. "If you're so concerned about our reputation, maybe next time stop Dazai from committing suicide in front of clients?"

"If I could stop him, I would have done so already."

"Ahem, let's not make this about me," Dazai interjected quickly, sensing the conversation turning against him. "Shouldn't we be focusing on saving this girl?"

"Indeed."

Dr. Yosano approached the bed, placing her hands on Bandage Girl to activate her ability. Normally, any injuries would immediately vanish with "Thou Shalt Not Die." However, to her surprise, Bandage Girl showed no signs of healing.

"Hmm?" Dr. Yosano murmured. "The treatment didn't work?"

"Is there a problem with your ability?" Kunikida asked.

"Impossible. My ability never fails," Yosano responded, a bit puzzled. "The only explanation is that this girl isn't as close to death as she seems."

At this, the "severely injured and unconscious" Bandage Girl swallowed, a trace of cold sweat forming in her palm. Naturally, she wasn't actually unconscious. For a Spirit like her, a mere bullet wound to the leg was hardly life-threatening. Though she would eventually need treatment to prevent bleeding out, it hadn't been long enough for the injury to endanger her life.

Feigning unconsciousness was merely part of the act to appear more human, as a normal person would likely have passed out from blood loss by now.

"My ability only works on those at death's door. If it didn't activate, then she's not as close to death as you'd think," Yosano declared.

"With the amount of blood she lost in the car, I thought she was practically dead."

"Some people have slightly unusual constitutions."

"What should we do then?"

"For cases like this, sometimes we have to get a little... creative."

With a wicked smile, Dr. Yosano raised her serrated saw. "Looks like I'll need to prepare her after all."

Dazai immediately covered Atsushi's eyes and ushered him out of the room. "Young eyes shouldn't witness this sort of thing, or you'll have nightmares."

"Mr. Dazai... I'm already eighteen," Atsushi muttered helplessly.

"I still have lunch plans with my sister, so I'll be going," Junichiro Tanizaki said with a pale face as he followed them out.

"Let me know when you're finished. I'll be in the office," Kunikida coughed, trying to appear casual. It wasn't fear, he told himself; he was merely giving the doctor and patient some space.

Within seconds, they had all vacated the infirmary, as if fleeing from a deadly plague, leaving only Bandage Girl and Dr. Yosano alone in silence.

In the stillness of the infirmary, the sound of blades being unsheathed echoed ominously.

"…"

Bandage Girl was already regretting accepting this assignment.

"What an adorable patient. I rarely get to 'treat' cute girls around here," Yosano said, smiling as she stroked Bandage Girl's delicate skin with a look of intense satisfaction.

"Plenty of blood loss, yet no sign of mental deterioration... You're going to be such a fun little toy."