I’m a Hero, but I Gave Up Saving the World

90 – Serena licking Faust’s shoes and begging for her life

‘I want to live’

A life in which when you open your eyes in the morning, you are not sure if you will be alive until the evening.

‘I want to live’

Serena has always walked on a precarious single tree bridge at the crossroads of life and death, where it is not strange if she dies at any time.

While the people around her grew up thinking about ‘how to live’, Serena only thought about ‘how to survive’.

Like a terminal cancer patient, like a death row inmate—

Survival has always been a topic thrown at her.

The trigger was his brother’s betrayal.

“Gerena killed the hero and fled to the Demon Continent.”

A word from my father.

Serena, who was still young, did not understand the meaning, but she could only guess the seriousness of the situation from her mother’s contemplative face.

“no way! Crab, Gerena can’t do that! There must have been some misunderstanding! Couldn’t it have been a kidnapping, not a getaway?! Our Gerena… Our Gerena can’t be like that!”

“It is already over. I came to an audience with His Highness the King earlier, but my family is said to be excommunicated. The title of duke is gone… ”

“I can’t! Nonsense! Nonsense!!! I-I will come back to see Your Highness again!”

“Give up. There’s no way Her Highness will meet you, and you won’t even get there.”

When it comes to duchy, there is bound to be a close connection with the royal family.

The Duke of Duranteet, strictly speaking, was a distant relative of the Aurelia royal family, and was a prestigious family invited to every royal event.

Serena’s mother, Julia Durante, could not admit that the palace, where she used to come and go like a meal, had now become a place she could never go again.

Despite her husband’s urging, she went out recklessly and returned home after being beaten by a crowd before reaching her destination, the palace.

“Ahhh… honey… what do we do now… Ahh… What should we do for our daughter, Serena… ”

bruised eyelids.

sparsely missing teeth.

crooked nasal bone.

Torn dress and tousled hair.

Serena felt indescribable horror at the naked traces of violence engraved on her mother’s body.

That was the weight of life that Serena had to endure from now on.

“I can’t. We have already been deprived of our title, but we do not know when the angry people will try to kill us. We’d rather run away first. If the three of us are together, we can survive somehow.”

The duke of Duranthe whispered a secret escape plan to his wife and daughter.

“Let’s take our possessions tonight and run away. don’t tell anyone you’re sneaking out Users can’t believe it anymore… ”

Her father repeatedly said that all people were enemies, but Serena had only one friend she wanted to take with her.

She didn’t want to be separated from Bruna, the handmaid who had grown up like a sister and friend since childhood.

She always listened to Serena’s concerns and was like a family member who lived with her 24 hours a day.

Bruna herself laughed at Serena’s question, “What do you think of me?”

“Lady Serena is like my real sister. Serena’s joy is my joy, and Serena’s sadness is my sadness.”

— he replied.

I thought I could trust Bruna like that.

So Serena leaked all the escape plans to the handmaid, Bruna, and that mistake came back that night as a torchbearer attacked.

He was robbed of all the property his parents had accumulated to use for his escape and was left hanging on the wall because he brazenly tried to escape.

“Punish the clan of traitors”

“Where do I have to pay for my sins to escape!”

“Don’t kill me yet! You have to make me feel the pain slowly!”

It was midsummer at the time, so the sun was very hot.

Trying to hang around all day without a parasol to cover the sun made my skin sting and, above all, thirst.

But, of course, no water or food was given, and no time was allowed to go to the bathroom.

Protesters surrounded the renegade clan on a daily basis, venting their anger by swearing at them, throwing stones, and stabbing them with spears.

Among those demonstrators was Bruna, whom Serena trusted so much.

It wasn’t until then that my father’s words, ‘Everyone in the world is your enemy’ came true.

Serena accepted that the world as she knew it was over.

A person needs numerous protections just by being alive.

Law, order, morality, conscience… All of these are essential for survival.

Branded as a clan of traitors, the Serena family lost that essential protection and found themselves in a precarious and deadly position, like AIDS patients who have lost immunity.

“It will be difficult for everyone, but let’s not lose our dignity as nobles and endure.”

My father told my family like that, and Serena tried to believe it too.

But the human mind is not as strong as you think.

The pride of nobility collapsed after only two days.

Duchess Julia began to cry and appeal to the protesters.

“Huh… Whoa… please give me some water… I think I’m going crazy because I’m thirsty… Ahh… Just a glass of water please… Whoa… ugh… And let me go to the bathroom, please… Everyone… ”

At that time, someone who saw Julia’s urine flowing down the castle wall exclaimed loudly.

“If I’m thirsty, I can drink your urine! ha ha ha!!”

“ha ha ha!! That’s right!”

“Looking at you saying you can’t drink urine, you think you’re still alive?!”

“Keep it hanging! Until you come to your senses!”

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Julia could not overcome the shame and lost consciousness, and the Duke of Durante also suffered from a great shock and died suddenly.

Protesters threw the duke’s corpse at Durant as food for animals.

Her father disappeared in front of Serena, leaving only bone fragments behind.

-death.

It was the first death Serena had ever witnessed.

Death was in the shape of a skull.

‘no… i don’t want to die like that I want to live… ‘

The skull engraved on her cornea like a curse turned Serena into a fierce human obsessed with survival.

She took her mother to the forest, to the cave, to the hut, and struggled to survive somehow.

There was nothing I couldn’t do to live, nothing I couldn’t eat, and no place I couldn’t sleep.

They slept in sewers, lived in beggars, and hid in chimneys.

It would be a pleasure to find even a ruined house on the day.

In the meantime, her mother’s health deteriorated unknowingly, but Serena desperately studied and worked hard to create a point of contact with the hero.

Serena was so excited that she shouted at her haggard mother.

“This is your chance, Mom. If you belong to the hero’s party, you don’t have to hear that you’re a traitor.”

A golden opportunity.

It was also the only chance.

Having the most famous traitor in history as her brother, in order to clear her name, she had to achieve something like joining a warrior’s party.

This is a chance to end the life of escape.

As long as I could be chosen as a hero, I could do anything.

Serena, who caught Kwak Dong-soo’s extreme dislike of Faust, thought that this was the key to winning his favor.

“Oh fuck Faust, this bastard is really fucking cheap. You still think I’m a phone pal.”

“Leave it to me, warrior. I will educate the buzzard well so that he can figure out the subject. I will harass you as viciously as possible to make you feel better. Trust me and leave it to me!”

The more Faust was harassed and the more vicious the method was, the more Kwak Dong-soo liked it.

When rumors spread that Kwak Dong-soo had Serena as an aide, the persecution of the traitor clan subsided.

‘I wanted to live’

I really really want to live, I want to survive, I want to be alive… I threw away all my pride and conscience.

The status of a warrior party wizard thus obtained.

A brief moment of peace.

The sin I committed… He was holding her now.

Serena’s spirit, which had collapsed due to her mother’s death, returned to reality after tracing the past sequentially.

Now she was fully aware of what she had done and Faust, who must have been upset by it.

Faust is now standing in front of you.

Faust, whom I tormented like a toy.

It was just teasing, hitting, and embarrassing him as a means to please the hero… It would have been absurd for the victim.

To Faust, I would have been nothing more or less than “a strange woman,” but there could have been nothing more absurd than that, to come and harass a fictional me.

Moreover, at the moment of counterattack, other people intervened and said, “Why are you doing this to Serena?” “Isn’t Serena angry because you did something wrong?” It would have been more crazy.

Because following the king is like that.

I know because I’ve been through it too.

Faust’s eyes looking down at me.

cold and chilly

It’s a look that doesn’t seem to think of me as a human being at all.

I know… He must have been waiting for his revenge.

There is no chance of me being forgiven.

I know.

I know…

Even though I know,

Even more so because I know

I feel like I want to live.

Even though it was painful to be alive like this, even though both mother and father were dead, the blind fear of death was still driving the obsession toward life.

I don’t want to die.

I want to continue to exist as myself.

So I knelt down and bowed my head before Faust, who said he would kill me.

“Please don’t kill me… Boo, please… I don’t want to die. really… I really don’t want to die. save me please… ”

Faust has grown so strong that he can never defeat him head-on.

My life completely depends on Faust.

If he wants to kill, he dies; if he wants to live, he lives.

Alas, now Faust is an absolute being, like a god to me.

“Why do I have to save you?”

“… … … … .”

scary.

I was so scared that I peed like my mom did that day.

Warm urine soaked his underwear and formed a pond on the floor.

Of course, this cannot buy Faust’s sympathy.

On the part of Faust, there is no hemisphere about incontinence.

It means you don’t even care.

“Tell me. why do i have to save you A bitch like you.”

“… … … … ”

body trembles

In the past, I never thought that the day would come when I would be embarrassed by Faust in this way.

He was the kind of guy who thought, ‘I’m glad there’s a kid who gets bullied instead of me’.

He was the kind of guy who was laid down.

“What are you doing? don’t speak Will you rebel against me by beating me like before?”

“… little bit.”

But now I am in the position of licking Faust’s shoes with my tongue and servilely tearing them apart to win his favor.

“No, it’s impossible, Mr. Faust. I will never rebel against Faust-sama. That’s because he’s just an asshole licking Faust-sama’s shoes like this. Little by little.”

I licked Faust’s shoes deliciously, doing my best to make myself appear as insignificant as possible, as an obedient slave with no pride and no will to rebel.

Dina opened her eyes and turned her head away as if she couldn’t see, but she didn’t have the energy to care.