If The Villain Catches Me Alive

Standing in front of the study immersed in pitch black, felt a little strange. Maybe it’s because it’s the last time… Perhaps more.

 

For the first time, I locked the study with a latch. I hoped it would buy me some time. …Even if it did, I was sure I’d be found out sooner or later.

 

I slowly pushed open the bookcase and made my way down to the basement laboratory. Many thoughts passed through my mind in that short time.

 

“Would he think I was cowardly?”

 

If he did, there was nothing I could say. After all, it was true: I was running away, unable to endure or overcome anything.

 

My steps led me somewhere, down into the underground laboratory, where I came face to face with Theodore for the first time. I stood there, looking down at him for a long moment.

 

“This is where I first saw you…”

 

It was all so sad to think that it was the last time. I don’t even know if I should even dare to feel this way, but…

 

“How can a meeting be so shitty? Right… Theodore…”

 

I leaned back against where he was tied up and closed my eyes for a moment. A sense of dread that I had forgotten crept over me. Despite my resolve, the underlying fear hadn’t gone away. The paper on which I had drawn the magic circle shook violently.

 

“……I’m scared…”

 

A terrified voice came out of my mouth. I’m scared. I was scared. I was determined to bear it all alone, because I didn’t want there to be any more young victims. Therefore, I must be killed. It was the law of magic.

 

[Study No. 8882: Recreating the Physical Body]

 

Of course, what Dante hadn’t done in the past, I couldn’t do now. All I could do was… find a loophole in the text and tweak it a bit.

 

‘There is a moment, a brief interval when a man dies and his body ceases to exist.’

 

So the idea is this.

 

‘I can intentionally cause my physical body to die…’

 

The disembodied soul will wander the world for a very short time, and then it will be extinguished. But in between… it could get in somewhere.

 

To risk everything on such a fleeting hope… It was, in essence, a gamble.

 

They say that many lives die and are reborn in this world, so if I could find a body that was empty just before my soul vanished……

 

‘Just like I was dropped here without knowing the language…’

 

Then again, maybe I could start a new life in a new place?

 

A small glimmer of hope spurred me to action. With all my thoughts in order, I opened my eyes and slowly stood in the very center of the underground lab, under the dome. The blue jewels embedded here and there seemed to be waiting for me.

 

“……It’s okay, I can do it…”

 

I cut my palm with the dagger I had brought with me, and blood immediately trickled down to the floor. My blood became the material to draw a large magic circle on the floor.

 

“I have it drawn on paper, in case I forget.”

 

I had already looked up the magic formula a hundred times, so I could draw it without looking. …My tear ducts must have been broken. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be crying like this. Really….

 

‘Am I sad…? Or maybe, guilty?’

 

I don’t know. I really don’t know anymore. I can’t possibly feel sad, my life has always been one big pile of misfortune.

 

If I felt guilty… I wouldn’t have done this, so even that’s a contradiction in itself.

 

When the blood was not enough, I grabbed the dagger and cut my palm again. The smell of blood made me sick to my stomach. I wonder if I’ve lost too much blood causing me to feel dizzy…

 

After connecting the beginning and end of the last circle, I collapsed on top of the magic circle with a loud thud. With death so close at hand, I finally managed to smile.

 

“Ahahahaha…”

 

A person can bleed to death from this much blood. I just found out today. So… there’s really no turning back now. If I don’t do it, I’ll die. If I try… Perhaps my hopes will be fulfilled.

 

It’s better that way, with no loose ends to tie up. Good, I wouldn’t hesitate to choose.

 

I focused on the magic flowing within me. Having learned from watching over Theodore’s shoulder, I was now able to manipulate the mana within me, albeit clumsily. I’m sorry… This shouldn’t have been taught to me. I’m sorry… Again, I’m just sorry.

 

The magic circle infused with my mana grew slightly colder. I had already noticed this during the development of this research. I’m afraid my magic power is not enough…

 

However, I had one more option. I hadn’t tucked myself in this basement for nothing.

 

I shattered the blue gems embedded between the domes, one by one. They shouldn’t exist, and with them would be my last.

 

I clasped my hands together and silently prayed.

 

“I’m sorry, I freed you too late. May you find rest now, unbound and at peace.”

 

I prayed on behalf of the one who had sinned.

 

My own mana mingled with the energy from the jewels. When the magic circle grew unbearably cold, I closed my eyes. At the same time, a panorama of memories I didn’t recognize as my own unfolded and faded away.

 

Alongside death, I saw a man asleep.

 

*** 

 

“……” 

 

Theodore turned his head at the sudden sensation, and Jeffrey, who had been waiting his turn right behind him, looked at him with a puzzled expression.

 

‘Why.’

 

It was the solemn room where the ceremony was taking place.

 

Jeffrey’s mouth twitched at the suddenness of Theodore’s behavior, but Theodore wasn’t looking at him. Something about that made him speak.

 

“……Hey. Theodore.”

 

“……Oh.”

 

Only after being called out again did Theodore tilt his head slightly to look at Jeffrey. Seeing his grim expression, Jeffrey slapped him on the back.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“……Nothing.”

 

I suddenly felt weird and thought……

 

Theodore didn’t finish the sentence. He felt like something had been lost, and he couldn’t figure out what it was.

 

He couldn’t tell what it was. But this was a moment that required solemnity. Yes, for now……

 

Theodore turned his head again and looked ahead.

 

It must be… the mood.

 

***

 

It felt like I wasn’t me.

 

‘If I could float through thin air, wouldn’t it feel like this?’

 

I thought to myself with my eyes closed. Then, when I opened them briefly and looked down, I saw a familiar place.

 

‘Uh……’

 

It was familiar. I knew it. How could I forget, it was my first “home”.

 

The house I never got to move into because I still had a few months left on my lease. When I saw it, I floated up in the air and slowly descended, until I landed in front of the house……

 “……that was a bad idea.” 

Someone stood at the gate of the house and said so.

 

A childlike voice reprimanded me. Suddenly, the dreamlike feeling faded, and my memory returned. I remembered everything I had just done.

 

‘……Did I die after all?’

 

I tried my best… Was I only able to hold on for a short period of time? …Was it just wishful thinking to find a new body in between?

 

On the contrary, it was easy to accept the result. I felt a sense of relief because, before that, I was really scared… I thought I could accept it with humility if it was an ending that wasn’t going to change. Unfortunately…

 

I walked towards the child in front of me, feeling much better. Thinking of myself as dead made it easier to act.

 

“Hi.”

 

“…..”

 

“Where are you from, have you forgotten where your home is?”

 

I knelt down in front of him, placing my cold hands around his red ones. Did he get lost? This neighborhood is a bit confusing, right? I repeated, but there was no answer.

 

“Do you want big brother to walk you home?”

 

Ah. But I… I don’t even know if I’m actually dead right now. I could just disappear. Hmm……

 

I was thinking about it for a while.

 

“……You’re not dead.”

 

The child spoke as though he had read my mind.