If the Deep Sea Forgets You

“Mo Han, do you truly love me?”

But Mo Han did not reply, and only said, “It’s late, you should sleep, let’s talk about it tomorrow.”

Shen Rou did not continue speaking. She probably knew the answer in her heart.

That night, they laid with their backs facing each other, yet they could not fall asleep.

Xia Qingyi had a fever the next morning. When Mo Han opened the door, she was sitting on the bed with her head bowed, her breathing slow. Her face was red and her eyes seemed unfocused. Shen Rou waited at home as Mo Han sent Xia Qingyi to the hospital for an IV drip.

They would have a proper talk about the problem from yesterday later.

When Mo Han returned from the hospital, Shen Rou was still sitting on the sofa, in the same position as when he left.

“You didn’t eat?”

Shen Rou shook her head. “I have no appetite, I was waiting for you to come back.”

“Let’s go out and eat, we can talk as we eat,” Mo Han said.

They went to a restaurant they had often visited in the past. While it was still the same place, with the same old people inside, some things were now different.

“You probably have an answer to the question I asked yesterday,” Shen Rou asked with her head down.

Mo Han paused for a while before he said, “Yes.”

Shen Rou took a deep breath, and did not dare to raise her head to look at Mo Han’s eyes. She forced herself to smile and said, “Say it.”

Mo Han said, “You’re a smart person, you could probably guess my answer.”

Shen Rou felt her heart sink, and could not stop her fingers from trembling. “I want to hear it personally from you.”

Mo Han could understand Shen Rou’s feelings at the moment, but he also knew that this matter was not something that could be dragged on further. “Shen Rou, let’s break up.”

The tears Shen Rou had been suppressing finally rolled down her face. She raised her head and looked at Mo Han. “Why?”

Mo Han sounded almost cold. “You know that I don’t actually love you.”

Shen Rou wanted to cover her ears and stop listening, but she still heard him clearly. “Then, why did you stay together with me? For three years! We’ve been together for three years, how could you be so heartless!”

“I’m sorry, I thought that we were compatible when we were together at that time. We saw eye to eye with each other in many places. I don’t deny that I did like you, that’s why I wanted to try with you. But now… it hasn’t reached the point where I love you.”

Shen Rou nearly went forward and slapped him, but she only smiled. “Compatible?! Of course we were compatible, no-one else was more compatible than us.”

Mo Han said, “Shen Rou, I know what you want. You want someone who loves you a lot, to prioritize you and to completely belong to you alone. But you have to understand that I cannot do this, and I’m not going to change.”

Tears were still streaming down Shen Rou’s face. “But… we’ve been together for three years, three years.”

“Someone has to be ruthless out of the two of us. I know you can’t do it, so it has to be me.”

Ignoring the gazes of other people in the restaurant, Shen Rou pulled at Mo Han’s hand and cried, “No… no, Mo Han, take back the words that you said, we… didn’t talk about anything just now… I don’t care whether you love me or not, it’s fine as long as you like me, we can try again in the future slowly, slowly…”

Mo Han pulled her hand away. “I came here today to clear everything up with you. I’ve thought about this for quite some time after you returned, and I feel that I can’t lie to you about such matters. Regarding the past, I’m sorry, it’s my fault.”

“I don’t want this sentence… I want us to patch up… you can just continue to lie to me, alright,” Shen Rou said as she cried loudly, to the point of wailing towards the end.

“Shen Rou, let it go, you want to find someone better than me,” Mo Han said.

“I don’t want anything else, I just want you,” Shen Rou cried.

“I just want you.” Shen Rou pulled at Mo Han’s sleeve, crying as she said, “I won’t fight with your sister anymore, I know that she’s your sister, your relative. I won’t bicker with you, I’ll stop making you belong to just me alone, I don’t want anything at all. Will you stay by my side please, please?”

Mo Han frowned and said, “Shen Rou, this has nothing to do with Xia Qingyi, this is about the both of us. You have to understand that what’s going on between us has nothing to do with anyone else.”