If the Deep Sea Forgets You

Xia Qingyi spent one night on the ground below the bank ATM machines. Because it was summer, the weather was not cold, and she leaned against the wall and forced herself to sleep for a few hours. When it was morning, a woman who came to withdraw money was shocked when she saw Xia Qingyi holed up in the corner sleeping, and woke Xia Qingyi up with a scream.

The woman kept looking at Xia Qingyi guardedly when she was withdrawing money, probably afraid that Xia Qingyi would snatch her money. She hugged her wallet close to herself when she was leaving and carefully walked out.

When Xia Qingyi woke up, she was no longer angry, but she still did not want to go back, because she was afraid.

Xia Qingyi knew that Mo Han was a logical person. He felt that she had lied to him, and seeing what he was like yesterday, he was furious and he looked like he did not want to continue being with her. She was scared that after she went back and had a chat with Mo Han, he would want to stop the relationship between the two of them.

She was really scared. Xia Qingyi had no confidence in herself. She was scared that after going through so many difficulties to realize her feelings for Mo Han and having their relationship progress to this day, their relationship would end here. She did not want to lose everything.

Xia Qingyi sat on the cold ground, and decided that the two of them still needed a period of time to cool down. She decided to have some time to think. By that time, if Mo Han still wished to break up with her, she would agree with what he said even if she felt terrible.

She should not hope for too much.

That was why Xia Qingyi decided to leave this city and travel.

She had her own card. Ever since she had gone to university, she had placed the money from her part-time job salary and her scholarships into that card. The amount inside was enough for her to travel around for a few days. She usually did not put that card in her wallet, and she had left it with her friend after buying some things a few days ago. She just had to go to her friend’s place and take it back.

Her identity card was still at home, but Xia Qingyi did not want to go back. She was afraid that she would not want to come out again after going back. She went to the Public Security Bureau, went through the procedures for a lost card and received a temporary identity card.

As for school, she asked the counselor to apply a week of absence for her. One week’s time was enough for Mo Han and her to think carefully about many things. She would give Mo Han space and time, and they could then handle their things after she came back.

Xia Qingyi went to the bank to withdraw some money and brought a few pieces of clothes. She could not bear to throw away the slippers she was wearing, so she simply put them in a bag and carried it with her. She then went to the airport and bought a ticket to the place furthest away from this city on the map.

It was the westernmost side of this country, with barren deserts and a scorching sun. It had one of the earliest lifeforms on the planet and was sparsely populated.

It was a place suitable for thinking.

Xia Qingyi sat in the airport lounge, ticket in her hand, and looked at the small amount of luggage she had. She initially wanted to quietly leave by herself without saying goodbye to Mo Han. But seeing all the people waving goodbye at the airport, she felt a little dejected.

In the end, she borrowed a phone from a stranger and sent him three messages. The first wrote, “I’m Xia Qingyi. I’m messaging you using a stranger’s phone.”

The second wrote, “We both need some time to cool down. I’m going to travel by myself. You don’t have to worry, I’ll be back in a week.”

The third wrote, “Remember to eat and sleep properly, and don’t be too busy with work.”

After she sent the three messages, she stared at the words she typed out and her tears started to flow.

She stopped the impulse to send a fourth message and wiped off the tears on the screen. She took in a deep breath, locked the screen and returned the phone back to the stranger.

The faraway sound of the broadcast announcement was already indicating that the plane was open for boarding. Xia Qingyi stood up, carried the little luggage that she had, took her plane ticket and walked over.

The plane took her to another world.

Mo Han reached home at six. He stood in the doorway for a long time, arranged his clothes and hair, making sure that he did not took too tired. When he was unlocking the door, he was still thinking that he would see her in a moment, and that he definitely could not lose his temper like he did yesterday.

He would sit beside her, hold her hand, and speak nicely to her.

Mo Han opened the door to an empty house.

Mo Han walked in, and saw that Xia Qingyi’s phone was still quietly lying there like it was this morning, its position unchanged. The note next to it was still in the same place as this morning.

Mo Han looked around his surroundings. Xia Qingyi’s clothes and bag were still on the sofa, things on the table were still arranged the same as this morning. The cigarette butts that he had not had time to clear remained piled up in the ashtray just like this morning, and the shoes Xia Qingyi had taken off in the doorway were still on the shoe rack.

Everything remained unchanged.

Mo Han ran to every room in the house, opening and closing every door and making a ruckus. But Mo Han still did not find a sign of Xia Qingyi.

She had already not returned for a day and a night; a full 24 hours.

Mo Han started to feel anxious, and quickly called Xia Qingyi. He only remembered that she had not even taken her phone when the phone rang in the living room.

Why had she not come back? She did not have a single cent on her, she did not take anything with her, and was wearing slippers when she left. Where else could she go?

Mo Han sat down dejectedly on the sofa, how had things suddenly become like this? They were still hugging and kissing each other intimately yesterday, and yet everything had changed today.

Could she do what she had said yesterday, and not come back? Mo Han did not dare to think any further.

The more he thought the more he felt worried, afraid that something had happened to Xia Qingyi. He put in some effort and contacted her classmate from school. Her classmate said that she had taken a week’s worth of leave, but she did not say what she was going to do.

Her classmate even said that Xia Qingyi had also taken the card she had kept with her before she left.

It was only then that Mo Han knew that Xia Qingyi had another bank card.

He relaxed a little; he did not felt as worried knowing that Xia Qingyi had money on her. But he started to feel anxious again in an instant. Where did she go? Why did she apply for a week of leave? Why had she not said a word to him before she left?

At that time he did not know, and neither did Xia Qingyi, that Mo Han’s phone had the function to block messages from unknown numbers. He did not receive the messages that Xia Qingyi had sent.

They had missed out on the final chance to contact each other before she left.

Mo Han used two days to check on Xia Qingyi’s specific whereabouts. Because of his occupation as a lawyer, an investigation like this was not that difficult. With Zhang Yang’s help, he found out that she had went to the Public Security Bureau to apply for a temporary identity card on the first day she left. After that, she went to a nearby shopping mall to buy a few pieces of clothes. The salesperson from the mall had a deep impression of her because she was wearing household slippers and had bought a lot of clothes using a card that day.

In the end, he found out that she had bought a ticket for a plane leaving at 5.30 p.m. that day to D City. The country’s borders were near D City, and Mo Han was not sure why she wanted to go somewhere that far. He thought about it for the entire day, and could only think that she probably wanted to travel and relax.

Mo Han initially bought a ticket to D City. But after thinking about it, Xia Qingyi had probably gone there because she was still angry and wanted to relax by herself. If he went there of his own accord, she would probably be unhappy.

He thought about it and canceled the plane ticket in the end. He had to respect everything that she did, and she would be back in a week anyway. When the time came, he would explain everything to her and would not behave like that night, only knowing how to unleash his anger at her.

Mo Han continued to wait in this way. He would wait one week for her to come back, and then he would never let her leave him again.

He endured this and waited till the seventh day. He watched the clock on the wall turn from 11:59:59 to 12:00:00, but Xia Qingyi was still not back.

At that moment, he really panicked.

Far away at the country’s border, Xia Qingyi’s travels did not begin as smoothly as she expected. Because she did not have people she knew by her side, a lot of things were difficult when she was there. She had to do most of the things by herself, and she tried her best to not disturb the people around her.

The weather here near the border was dry, and she would often have nosebleeds for no reason, so she would drink water often to replenish the water levels in the body. The difference in temperatures at night here was very big. On the first night when she arrived, she kept coughing nested in the thin blankets because she had not brought enough warm clothes. She could not bear it any longer after that, so she went to knock on the hotel boss’s door in the middle of the night, asking for one more blanket. In the end, the boss told her that there were no more additional blankets and gave her his own sturdy army coat to drape around her body, and that was how she spent the night.

The land was desolate here, and the night sky was exceptionally beautiful. She lay down on the chilly blanket, her eyes looking through the window at the resplendent star-filled sky outside, feeling not sleepy at all, and she started to miss Mo Han.

Alone in the cold night, she thought back to Mo Han sitting silently on the sofa a few days ago.

Xia Qingyi realized that she had never told Mo Han she loved him, and Mo Han had never told her he loved her either.

She felt rather astounded. How had they passed all those days when they had not made any promise to each other?

Even if the two of them had not promised anything to each other, and that things were not that smooth-sailing, they still spent so many days together lovingly.