NOVEL NEXT Chapter 326 – The Funeral
CHAPTER 326 - THE FUNERAL
The only memories of a funeral I could conjure were vague blotches and images from when I was a child. If I remembered correctly, one of my father's colleagues in his department had died from some kind of disease, though I had been too young to remember exactly what it was. They had been close enough to be invited, but not close enough for my father to be deeply affected for more than a few days afterward— or maybe dad had just been good at hiding his feelings from his daughter who perpetually needed him. It was lucky, in a way, that I'd never had to go to one. My grandparents on my father's side had both died before I'd met them, and it didn't sound like they'd had the best relationship with him. My grandma on my mom's side was an option, but honestly, I didn't feel like going.
Justin's family had rented out Jubilife's largest cemetery for the day. It was sunny, not at all overcast like it had been the last few days. At the edge of the sprawling cemetery, nestled among ancient oaks and rows of headstones, stood a few wide, white tents. Their heavy canvas flaps swayed gently in the breeze, offering shelter to the mourners gathered beneath their canopy. Food and drinks were offered within as well, though no alcohol from what I had seen.
Justin had a decent number of family members. Unknown uncles, aunts, cousins, and family friends whom I had never met. The attendance was generally around forty people, give or take. Seeing all these people grieve for him made me realize there was a side of him I had never really known. He had family troubles too, but those had largely been ignored after Solaceon, when he had cut off most contact with his dad.
Justin's Pokemon were here as well, as sullen as his closest family members, and all huddled together next to Justin's casket. Even the hard-to-read, stringent Corviknight couldn't bear to see his trainer's coffin. Audino's ears were droopy, and his usual cheerful self was nowhere to be seen. Arcanine kept licking the casket and bumping his nose at the wood as he whined; Ludicolo's hat-like plant was faded and drained of its vibrant green; Toxapex had cried enough to flood a small area they were in, but a hired Natu kept channeling the water away before it could seep into the soil; Krookodile had grieved himself to sleep.
All of his friends had thankfully come by as well. I'd seen Mira over by the tents with Lauren, who had new, slightly rounder glasses instead of her sharp, rectangular ones. Mira's recalling of her adventure to go save her had made my heart beat in excitement, especially the battle near the end. That was the stuff a good story was made of, with a happy ending and everything.
But it was also just… genuinely a good thing, if I took a step back and stopped thinking like a fairy for a moment. With how loyal Lauren's Pokemon were, they most likely would have followed her deeper and deeper into Victory Road until she was seriously hurt or worse.
Denzel was there too, with his mother and father closely supervising him, much to his annoyance. He was confined to a chair, forbidden from moving to avoid straining his back or stretching the skin. It was probably for the best; otherwise, he might have dragged me back into the group. Chase stuck by his side, relentlessly teasing him about being less mobile than a guy in a wheelchair. I overheard a few of the jokes and couldn't help but laugh to myself, but I knew it was important to keep my distance.
The few glances I'd caught of Cecilia made my eyes unconsciously gravitate her way and my legs move in her direction. She'd sequestered herself within the tents with Pauline and Emilia to keep her company, along with Slowking. She'd gotten all of her Pokemon back from the Center and was leaving tomorrow, or even maybe tonight. She hadn't told me.
Hell, even Maeve had come. She'd stuck around with Louis with a dead look in her eyes for a little bit, but was now by herself with her Infernape by her side and Gligar on her head, eating at her hair. I supposed we were both sticking out like sore thumbs.
There was a row of dark chairs arranged near a central aisle where friends and family would gather to listen to further speeches. I'd hastily left after Justin's father had spoken there to thank us for coming, unwilling to be exposed to Cecilia's presence. Here I was, crouching on some grass a ways from any contact and holding a single blade of grass up to Princess' face. The fairy's eyes were sown shut as she groaned in concentration. Her wings vibrated with focus, and pink dust wafted off her fur in small quantities. It was barely enough to notice if you squinted.
The blade of grass was cut in half at its base. Even though the object being lacerated was so fragile, the act of cutting was still loud and clear. A distinct slicing noise reminiscent of a sword drawn from its sheath with a swift, metallic hiss, loud and startling, cutting through the stillness of our isolation and leaving behind a sharp, ringing echo that hung in the air.
"Nice one." I celebrated with a whisper. Before I could keep going, Angel smothered her in vines and squished her cheeks to congratulate her. His new eye was perpetually closed because of its sensitivity to sunlight.
My lips couldn't help but smile when he dragged me closer by the wrist to join in on the hug. Partly soft as a pillow, and partly tough, yet supple. The entire team was nearly reunited; it was only Sunshine left to pick up tomorrow, and we'd all be back together. Angel was wearing a tiny, itty bitty crown of metal atop his head— a concealed Mimi who had jumped for joy at his return. Occasionally he would pat them with a vine, and the steel type would squeal happily in return.
Refocusing my attention on Princess, I noticed she was looking quite smug and proud of herself for cutting the blade of grass. Her chest fur puffed up to make her appear larger, and her wings were neatly folded at her sides. In the days before the funeral, I'd gone back to visit Bella once, and it was an exercise she'd given us reminiscent of the first trick she had attempted to teach Princess with glamour. Whereas before, the goal had been to make the leaf move due to her core Belief being gravity-focused, she had made Princess' goal to cut.
We had Moonblast already, but that was just the tip of the iceberg. I had plenty of ideas workshopped for slicing moves. First, we'd need to get her to consistently work her way up from a leaf to actually useable. Moonblast was somewhat of an implement. A tool that made any fairy using their core Belief far easier. What we were asking of her was essentially like getting her to actually create something out of nothing. Squeezing water out of stone.
"A little too close to the finger, so don't get too carried away." My nails dug into her fur, raking past her skin near her crown. "You could have cut it off, young lady." In her concentration and desperation to slice through the grass, she might have gone a little too hard, even while holding back.
Princess countered by saying that I was the one who'd decided to hold the grass up in the first place, and I told her it was easier for her to focus that way and it'd up her precision. Angel helpfully signed that he could hold it if needed, but what was training without trust in your Pokemon, anyway?
"Here, wanna do another?" Between two fingers, I grabbed another blade of grass, but Princess said she wasn't in the mood anymore and would continue later. "Fair," I said, dropping the grass. "You've done well for today anyway."
I was… a little excited about it, is all. I'd seen how Cynthia's own Togekiss had suppressed his presence in the Distortion World, and that showed there were more ways to use Belief than with merely Moonblast. Bellatrix had known this, but claimed that I would have needed to pay to access such knowledge before that day. Stingy, but fair. I did pay her in stories from Coronet and how the mountain functioned. Thankfully, she gave me a discount.
Ordinarily, I would have had Cass or Honey out, but it was important not to have too many Pokemon bothering the funeral. Plus, Justin's father had hired a few psychics for security. Now that Indigo had pulled through and sent Sinnoh many of their Kadabra, people couldn't get their Pokemon pressed into service anymore. The entire country was starting to breathe a little easier.
I allowed the minutes to pass, watching people mingle from afar while Tangrowth curiously read out the names of the tombstones around us, growing sadder with each one. It was Princess, who gently distracted him by throwing a bit of mud at his side with Ancient Power, though I had to stop her before she upturned the entire cemetery. It was odd to see her having fun in such a gloomy setting, not that she'd cared much for Justin, anyway. Cecilia and dad were the only other humans she cared for. Honey might be saddened— I'd let him out when we were called to the rows of chairs to sit down.
Deciding I'd had enough of standing around, I decided to slowly trudge toward Maeve. She was alone, and I wanted to learn what had been going on with her anyway. She was sitting under the shade of a large tree, face largely emotionless as she flicked her Gligar's face every time he bothered her. Like everyone else today, she was wearing black. A dark-colored knee-length skirt paired with a black jacket over a white blouse. It was surprising she wasn't dying from the heat, especially with Infernape next to her, but Maeve had always struggled with cold. Maybe her tolerance for heat was higher as a result. Her face was still marked by countless faded scars going up, down, and sideways— a lasting and dark reminder of what had happened in Pastoria. They gave her a hardier appearance.
Her expression soured when she saw me and my Pokemon approach. Angel's vine wrapped tighter around my ankle— a sensation I'd missed all too much— and Princess reflexively sneered.
"If I'm bothering you, I'll go." There was no point in talking to someone who didn't want me near them. Since Cecilia had cut things off, I'd begun to think that maybe I was too reliant on people for support, anyway—
A few steps in the dry grass rang out behind me, and then there was a pull at the back of my shirt. "No. I mean, it's fine. I just didn't expect you to talk to me," she said, voice all quiet. By the time I faced her, her eyes were downcast. Now that we were closer, I could see they were puffy and red from crying. "I made a face, didn't I?"
Infernape, who was still below the tree's shade, sat down and looked at me with a curious gaze while he kept Gligar under his armpit like some sort of annoying child.
"Oh. I mean, it's okay," I tried, desperate to rid us of this awkwardness. I found myself scratching my arm that didn't even itch just so my hands would be doing something. "It was just a little… lonely."
"Lonely? You?" Maeve smiled and shook her head. "All of your friends are… wait, I guessed I missed a lot, huh? Did you guys have a falling out?"
"It's just better if I take my distance for the time being while I figure some things out about myself," I explained to resume Emilia's advice. As rude as it may seem, Maeve had always been mildly out of our orbit, so I assumed speaking to her for a while was fine. "How are you holding up? It's been a while."
She had not spoken to us since Coronet, and was keeping her distance even with Louis.
Maeve shrugged. "Doing alright, I guess. I'm kind of like you. Trying to figure out where to go from here."
In the background, the hired DJ changed songs; she was playing a playlist of Justin's favorite. They were mostly low-key songs you could easily study or read to, most of them without lyrics.
"He didn't listen to much music after Solaceon," she continued with a sigh. "I didn't know any of his taste."
"Me neither, admittedly." We were shoulder to shoulder now, watching the small crowd mingle. "It's…"
"Depressing. Every time I go over it in my head, I go, 'I should have asked him this or that,' but I'll never get that time back." Maeve's voice quivered near the end of the sentence.
"Mhm."
In the deepest recesses of my heart, there was pain at that idea. Agonizing, twisting, and desperate to show on my face.
But it was more manageable than yesterday. And that day had been more manageable than the day before it. I believed I was through the hardest parts of processing Justin's death, and as Sunshine's own experience with Kamaile and his team leaving him early, that was okay.
We stayed there for a while, and I mingled with her Pokemon as she did the same with mine. Her Gligar was a curious one, always googly-eyed at anything new. Maeve had to chase him away before he could land me out of fear that he'd rip my dress. Infernape was a lot more normal. He told me he'd long admired Sunshine's prowess at using his frames, and though he had found his own fighting style now, he'd wanted to emulate it for the longest time.
Maeve, meanwhile, got along great with Angel— to be honest, you'd have to be really odd not to like him at least a little bit. Princess warmed up to her a little, but one aspect of raising these kids I rarely noticed was that they were too used to speaking to me as if I were another Pokemon. That meant that Maeve got confused really fast at the flurry of words the Togekiss offered her. Hell, Angel had his own makeshift sign language that didn't adhere to any rules but the things he'd made up.
"You know, I was scouted," Maeve mumbled under her breath. "To join the League and train to be an ACE Trainer."
"Huh— what?" My head whirled toward her so quickly that my neck ached. "When was this?"
Usually, people were often scouted to join the League first, mostly during the Conference where the government would hone in on who would be useful. From what I understood of the system, you basically never went straight to ACE from a normal trainer.
Maeve replied, "after Coronet. They came and spoke to my parents about it and everything, but I still haven't made a decision. They lost a decent amount of people fighting Galactic and are looking to fill out their ranks again. I'd just be a candidate with a bunch of other people some a boot camp; it wouldn't be a sure thing."
"I mean, if— if I hadn't known so much about how horrible being an ACE Trainer was, I would have been super happy for you, Maeve." I gulped, imagining the ruthless training she'd be put through. "But it's a horrible job, even if you don't have to guard a bunch of snotty kids twenty-four-seven. They beat the emotion out of you until you become a tool—"
My mouth stopped. Wasn't that what I wanted?
"I dunno. I killed like a hundred people in Coronet— Pokemon included— and I feel nothing about it. Not an ounce of regret, but not even joy at some sort of revenge or anything." Maeve chewed on her lip. "Just nothing. Like it was just work. Got no dreams, no guilt, no signs of PTSD… apparently, that's rare in people, and it's part of something they seek."
"I understand the 'just work' part." After a while, it was just going through the motions. Like getting frustrated at doing too much homework and just wanting to get through it. And to be honest, while I'd tried not to kill people, it was because I was trying to emulate what a good person would do thanks to Mimi and Maylene. Of course. there was part of me that thought I could fake it until I made it. "You're sixteen, Maeve. You have your whole life ahead of you; this would be seriously rash."
"It would be, wouldn't it?" she agreed. "I've been turning it over in my head for the two weeks and a half we've been out. My parents were fooled by the officers' smooth words and were all in on me joining. My team's good with whatever I do except for my Yanma, but I'm sure she'd come around."
"Maeve… why does it feel like you want to justify doing this? What about Louis?" I turned to see if I could find our friend
"Because it's something I'm good at," she said with a grim smile. "Also, Louis is… he's sweet, but he was just a crush. I'm over it."
"Over it, like…?"
"I confessed to him a few days before Justin died. I figured that if we were going to die fighting Galactic, why the hell not, right?" She laughed bitterly. "He rejected me on the spot. Said he couldn't see himself with anyone after what he'd done to Cecilia and that it wouldn't be right."
Damn. That sounded just like him. "I'm sorry."
"Eh. As I said, I'm over it. Anyway, it's not a sure thing like you think, I still don't know if I'll join or not." Maeve looked up at the clear skies, and wind swept past her mid-length hair. "If I don't, I think I'll join the army, though. I just feel like I need… a fresh start. And structure."
I couldn't help but exhale in relief. She'd nearly thrown her life away. "Good. Look into that. That's a far better prospect than being an ACE, trust me. I've spent hours upon hours with them and they're broken people. They're broken down and molded to what the League wants them to be. You—"
My phone vibrated in my pocket. My stupid brain instantly went for Cece even though that made no sense and she was literally right there.
"You're good under pressure; the army fits your shape," I added as I pulled it out of my pocket. "Of course, you don't have to do either, but it's your decision." Arceus, it was so odd seeing everyone pulling themselves away from the Circuit. Months ago I thought they'd all be going at it for a few years at least. Just like Pauline, I thought she could have gotten eight badges next year.
I'd been about to say something, but forgot what it was when I saw Maylene's text.
"Don't let me bother you," Maeve said. "And thanks for talking with me. I really appreciate it."
She returned under the shade, no doubt waiting for the proceedings to begin, while I scrolled up and entered my phone's password. Princess, the little rascal, tried to pretend she wasn't looking at the screen. Angel pestered her by placing vines in front of her eyes until she nearly cursed him out but stopped herself.
It wasn't like I hadn't heard her cursing. Like Honey, she snuck one in every now and then, just never in front of me. Or Buddy. Or Angel, but that was for entirely different reasons. She just didn't want to sully his innocent ears.
Maylene - Sorry if im bothering u, I just hope the funeral is going okay
Maylene - Im always here if you need to talk, and ill be there tomorrow for craigs ceremony
It was nice of her to check in. The truth was that we hadn't really spoken much since Cecilia and I took our break, and most of that had been relegated to small talk or surface-level stuff. Dry. There was no doubt in my mind that she must have noticed the shift in my eagerness to talk to her, and yet she was still…
"Damn it," I moaned. "This is needed. It's needed." Escape from dependency on any person was my mantra, these days. Angel soothed me by stroking my head, and Princess rubbed her head on my side and chirped worryingly. Mimi decided to jump back on my shoulder for support.
They weren't really hiding anymore; they were just lazy. We'd made the decision yesterday, and Meltan no longer would have to stay disguised.
"Thanks, guys."
It honestly felt like every time I texted her was a battle where I had to choose my words as carefully as possible to not give her any renewed hope. At least it was far easier over the phone than face-to-face. It wasn't like friends couldn't speak for hours about whatever sprang to mind, but she had a crush on me, so distance was warranted. Whereas I might have wanted to answer 'you would never bother me,' for example, I couldn't. Because I knew it was the kind of thing that'd make her heart skip a beat. Every time I needed to know if something would go too far, I'd picture myself and my unrequited crush on Cece. How would I react if Cecilia had said this at the time? It had worked pretty well so far.
I just had to hold on until Cecilia came back, and then I'd let her down easy. Tomorrow would be the hurdle to clear.
Oh. Right, she could see I'd read this and was waiting for an answer.
You - It's going alright. Waiting for the proceedings to start, which should be in thirteen minutes.
You - Thanks for offering your help. I appreciate it.
Maylene - Want to hang out tomorrow?
What the hell?
In one fell swoop, she'd ruined my plans to conveniently avoid her without committing to anything! Now I'd have to deny her instead of being a flake and hoping the world would bend to my desires.
You - Won't you have duties? As a Gym Leader? I wouldn't want to be annoying and waste your time.
Every Gym Leader would be there, after all. They'd have to sit around and do… Gym Leader stuff, surely. Plus, it'd be weird if she was hanging out with someone else and possibly having a good time while people would be sad all around us.
Maylene - cmon. I would never find hanging with u annoying, grace. and after some procedural stuff ill be able to roam freely.
Why was she so forward lately? With an annoyed huff, I gathered my courage and typed up a response.
You - I think it'd be best not to.
There. Right to the point, and without avoiding anything. It was about time I put my money where my mouth was. Maylene started typing, then stopped for a good while. Two minutes, by my count.
Maylene - hey did i do something wrong lately? feels like youve been avoiding me this past week and it kinda hurts
Maylene - and i miss u kinda
Instantly, my bravado collapsed, and I scrambled to give her an answer. Of course, there was no way out of this without hurting her; I'd been stupid to expect anything less. At some point, I would have to stop hiding. Her adding 'kind of' here didn't do anything to hide the strength of what she was feeling. Arceus, I was so stupid. Stupid, foolish, moronic!
You - I'm sorry; I haven't been right to you lately. You're right. Tomorrow we'll talk. I'd rather be in person for this.
I had no choice but to be straight with her, at least to a point. To tell her about the fears of dependency on her. If Cecilia hadn't told me not to reveal the state of our relationship, I would have gone further and spilled everything, but this would be a good start. If I told her how broken I was, how I would latch myself onto her like some kind of parasite and hurt her if she gave me the opportunity, then surely she would understand. She had a good head on her shoulders, but it would be unhealthy for me, and I'd just drag her down with me. I was in no state of mind for this weird thing we had going on.
Maylene - well u just made me super nervous but im still thankful
You - I know that this is a useless statement that most likely won't have any effect on you, but you shouldn't worry. It won't be anything drastic.
Maylene - if thats a lie u better make it up to me, u dork
"I mean, it's not a lie, but I might be wrong. I don't know," I whispered to myself. In my point of view, it'd just be a needed readjustment of our situation, but what about hers? If she took it badly, I'd need to fix it somehow.
You - How would I make it up to you? I'll do anything you ask.
It took Maylene a bit to answer, so I reread my text and realized how awful this sounded in context.
You - I'm so sorry that sounded really bad; I didn't mean it in any creepy way.
Maylene - haha no worries i know.
Maylene - i gotta go back to work. see you tomorrow.
Maylene wasn't one to end a conversation so abruptly, and this was her lunch break! Something I'd told her countless times not to skip with Cecilia until she finally relented. She didn't have to go back to work at all, I had just most likely flustered her enough for her to want out of the conversation.
There was no time to lament my fuck-up. The music ending and people filtering out of the tent meant that the funeral proceedings were about to begin. I recalled Princess and Angel, but kept Mimi on my shoulder while I released Honey out of his ball. The little blob of metal garnered a few odd looks from people wondering what in the world they were, but these were nearly always passing glances at most. This was Justin's day. We all made our way toward the chairs, where I'd been given an assigned seat.
"Funerals are how we say goodbye to the dead," I explained to the steel type with a whisper. "Usually, in most of Sinnoh, people are buried underground. Justin's going to be burned after this, though. Like in the Iron Islands." Only Louis and his family would be able to see it done. Mostly, Mimi seemed intrigued by an island being named after iron. "How did your people do it?"
If I understood correctly, they answered with something about being wrapped with thin sheets of metal and then being encased in a sarcophagus. That kind of sounded like treatment only a monarch would get, but I doubted Meltan knew much about the common folk in Lakhutia.
Luckily for us, my seat was a ways away from Cecilia. Louis probably had something to do with this, or perhaps Emilia. She'd helped with some of the funeral as well. I was sitting next to a pair of older gentlemen at the edge of the row of chairs so Honey could stand next to me. One of them was crying and continuously patting his eyes with a colorful handkerchief. They spoke to each other in whispers, reminiscing about how Justin had been a good kid and how he'd been taken from them too soon.
Albert Gardner took to the small podium wearing a dark suit and tie. Elegant, yet simple. It was my first time seeing the man in person, and it was remarkable how much he looked like Justin. He was tall and lanky, shoulders hunched over like he hated being here, hands gripping the sides of his lectern until his knuckles turned white. He wore his hair in a neat, old-fashioned combover, and the way he cleared his throat as he slipped his finger between his neck and collar gave the impression of someone being more comfortable on his own in labs than a man who'd give a speech to people.
Justin's father awkwardly scratched the side of his ear and patted the sides of his suit. "Thank you all for—" The microphone peaked, and the uncomfortable sound spread throughout the audience. Albert clicked his tongue and tapped on the microphone with his finger a few times. "Thank you all for being here today. And a special thank you to Louis Bianchi for helping me put all of this together. Justin was lucky to have you as a friend."
We all politely clapped for a few seconds, and while I couldn't see Louis from where I was sitting, it was easy to imagine him looking around all embarrassed.
Albert's hand rested on Justin's coffin. "It's said that the relationship between a father and his son is one of the most profound and lasting bonds in life." He exhaled, fingers gone limp against the wood. "I was… not a very good father."
He allowed the words to sit with us before continuing.
"I was preoccupied with my research and the company. I didn't give my son the attention, love, and care he deserved. I made him go on this journey for monetary reasons, and because of that, Solaceon changed him down to the way he thought about things." Albert turned toward the coffin. "It might be too late to say this now, son, but I'm sorry, and I love you. I've always loved you."
Honey, as soft-hearted as he was, was tearing up already. I was too. It was echoes in time like these that really got to me. I reminisced about our time in Eterna Forest where Justin lay depressed and defeated, sitting on a fallen log of wood, asking himself if his father had ever loved him.
I hoped he was seeing this.
"I apologize," Albert sniffled into the microphone. "I've never been that great at public speaking. My son was— my son was a shy little boy, as I was and still remain in many ways. Restrained and scared of opening up to people. But he was good, he was kind, and most of all, he was passionate, whether that was in his friendships or his career. I remember it like it was yesterday, when he came up and bugged me about everything Pherzen could be doing differently, more efficiently, or what we could do to save costs. He was a real businessman at heart, even as a young child…"
Albert's speech continued for around ten minutes, with each word coming out growing more and more confident, yet somehow wracked with regret all the same. He talked about how proud he was that his son had gotten so many badges in his first year, and how he believed he might have gotten all eight should Galactic not have taken Justin away so early. He talked about stories of him as a child struggling to speak to people at school, and him overcoming that. He talked about his life, struggles and how he so wished he could have been better to Justin every step of the way.
The applause that rang out was thunderous when he was done. So loud it made my hearing aid go into a feedback loop that turned into a loud, high-pitched screech.
More family members went next. The crying old man next to me had been his grandfather and mostly focused on Justin as a kid, especially with how he'd spoil him with gifts and snacks when his father wasn't looking. A cousin in his early twenties spoke about how he'd answer so many questions about business when Albert was too busy. A middle-aged woman not in the family talked about how polite and well-spoken he was whenever they met at galas, fundraisers, parties, or whatever gatherings. It all went on for an hour— a beautiful elegy of Justin's life, filling in the blanks and coloring the person who I had been so happy to call one of my closest friends.
But then, at last, it was Louis' turn to speak. He made a point to have all of Justin's Pokemon behind him, and I saw a new facet of my friend just then. No, perhaps not a new one. An older Louis which had been buried for months. He carried himself confidently, his shoulders squared and his gaze steady as it passed over the crowd as if he had finally shed the weight of doubt that had shadowed him for so long. The familiar fire in his eyes that had once been a mark of his endless ego now was tempered and matured. Louis the boy had grown into a man.
"Justin was my best friend."
To me and to my friends, this wasn't surprising, but to the others? To the people who hadn't been with us this past year? They knew Louis Bianchi as a selfish manchild who couldn't see beyond his own nose and who wouldn't give a quiet kid like Justin the light of day unless it was to make himself shine brighter.
He slowly arranged his tie and inclined his head among the doubting crowd. "It took me a while to realize it— until the Darkest Day struck and he left, and I realized what his absence meant— but he was. He centered me in my immature days, and because of that, I vowed to bring him home after the Darkest Day."
He'd succeeded in Sunyshore after a battle where his newly evolved Vespiquen had nearly drowned Corviknight in honey. Yet the steel type, stalwart behind Louis, did not react negatively to memories of the fight.
"He was out getting a book for me when the bombs took him from all of us," Louis said, still somehow calm. "And for that, I apologize to you, his family and friends." I heard Audino cry out behind him, his little voice picked up by the microphone telling Louis it wasn't his fault. "I have been haunted day and night by 'what ifs', and while I have forgiven myself, I don't think I'll ever shake that little nagging feeling in my head. The little voice telling me that things could have been different."
He swallowed, wavering for the first time, and took a deep breath.
"I was not a great friend to Justin the majority of the time I knew him. I met him at a gala, the sort you're all very familiar with. I was loud, boisterous, and dragged him wherever I wanted. I was nine and he was seven years old, and I could tell he admired my outgoing nature. Yet I made unwarranted jokes at his expense to make myself feel better, made fun of him for being so quiet, and still, he stuck around. It wasn't until this year, through many of our shared experiences, that I realized how flawed I was."
It was easy to forget how he'd behaved when I'd first met him. Louis outstretched his hands and smiled thinly.
"Yet we are all born flawed beings, and we either grow or get worse as we age. I believe that without Justin in my life, I would have grown up much worse if you can even believe that." There were a few chuckles in the crowd at the self-deprecating humor. "My friends were instrumental at getting my head out of the sand I had buried it into," he glanced my way, then Cecilia's, Denzel's and at the others, "but Justin was my first genuine friendship, the first step out of that hole. He was also the last." He looked at the coffin with a fond smile. "Thank you for everything, my friend, and may we see each other again one day."
He was done.
There was another round of clapping, and Honey patted me on the shoulder as if to say it was going to be okay.
We'd sent him off well, hadn't we?
—
Justin's casket was available for viewing by the public after the speeches. It had been moved to one of the wide tents because of how hot it was out. Summer was in full swing, and it was 28 degrees Celsius. Cecilia probably would have laughed about how that wasn't hot at all, actually. Legendaries, I missed her.
It was carved from rich, darker wood that gleamed with a strange luster. Along the edges, intricate floral motifs were delicately etched, each petal and leaf rendered with meticulous detail. I was pretty sure that all of them were different. I had to hold on to Meltan because they wanted to look at the metallic hinges on the casket. Their little head was poking out of my dress. Usually, it'd be open for viewing, and people would be able to say their goodbyes. Instead, there were numerous pictures of Justin from his time as a baby in his mother's hands a few hours after his birth to the present.
"They must have paid a fuck ton for this, huh?" Chase spoke next to me in a melancholic tone. His voice had nearly made me jump. "Do you think he's happy?"
I shrugged. "I think we did all we could. I hope he is."
Chase rolled a little closer to the coffin and nudged his chin toward one of the pictures. "What's this one? First day at school?"
Little Justin looked like he'd been crying until he'd run out of tears, and he was being led by the hand of one of his attendants with a backpack full of Growlithe motifs and other canine Pokemon on it. Rockruff, Lillipup, Yamper— just the conventionally cute ones.
"I think so," I said. "Must have been a hell of a day, huh? What about this? Tenth birthday?"
The next one; a slightly older Justin surrounded by people and family.
"Sure, it makes sense with the amount of candles. He looks… not that happy." Chase squinted at the picture. "I guess it's because there were too many people there."
"Or maybe the cake was— you know what, your reason makes more sense."
Chase could only muster an incredulous expression as he looked up at me. "Were you about to say the cake was bad?"
"N—no."
I didn't know why we got into this conversation. He'd just come up behind me and begun to talk without any goal in mind, but his presence was a welcome one anyway. We stayed and went through nearly every picture until Cecilia and Louis barged into the tent. The way both froze, they'd had no idea I was in here. Seconds seemed to endlessly stretch until Chase groaned and yelled to garner our attention.
"Come the fuck on, what is this wishy-washy shit? You're on a break, not sworn enemies who can't even be in the same room. Now stop being weird. Not at my boy's funeral. Louis, say something."
"Right. Right." Louis nodded, then ran a nervous hand through his hair. "Neither of you need to leave, you can just look at the casket and the pictures together, if need be."
My eyes felt dry. I'd forgotten to blink. "R—right," I agreed. "Feel free to… do whatever it is you're doing." I love you, please take me back. My heart was nearly leaping out of my throat, like it used to when we'd first met and I'd been helplessly crushing on her. "I was going to leave soon, anyway."
Chase clicked his tongue.
"What?! It's the truth!" I pinched his shoulder until he yelped and nearly jumped out of his chair. "Asshole. My dad's coming to pick me up at four. That's in…" I looked at my phone, "twenty. He's already sent me a text. Apparently, traffic is really bad."
"Well, Jubilife is synonymous with traffic," Louis said.
"I could ruin the vibes and start trauma dumping about how the Iron Islanders wish all they had to worry about was traffic," Chase joked.
"You've effectively done so already," Louis snarked. "Anyway, if I don't see you again, thank you for coming, Grace."
We shared a short hug, and I just… nodded at Cecilia. She did the same for me, though she itched her neck when I looked at her like I was giving her an allergic reaction. Not even close to back to normal, huh? On the way out, I told Louis to talk to Albert about Ditto cell research for humans. To this day, the topic was what Justin had been the most passionate about, and it'd be nice if his father could realize his dream, even if it was post-mortem.
I swung by to tell the others goodbye, too. Denzel (his mother kept sneering at me with disgust like I was a blister on her son's life), Pauline, Emilia, Maeve, Mira, and Lauren. There was something off about the last two, like they were more nervous around each other than usual. The final thing I did was speak to Justin's team to thank them for being here for him until the end and to ask them of their intentions. They fully agreed to be under Louis' care from now on, but it would take until his sanctuary opened that they'd be legally owned by his 'business'. Until then, they'd be Albert's.
As soon as he got there, I entered the front seat of my dad's car and put the seat all the way down. He smiled at me, staring as if he was just happy to see me, and in a way, I supposed he was. It was too bad that other than Mimi, none of my Pokemon could ride in the car. It was small and ergonomic. One of those cheap, local Sinnohan cars that basically lasted forever, unlike those expensive Galarian ones.
"How were things, kiddo?"
"Actually good," I said. "It was… closure for everyone." Things could also have gone far worse with Cecilia than they had.
Dad shook his head as he turned on his signals. "What a waste. All this death." A sigh took him. He didn't know Justin, but anyone would react that way to a sixteen-year-old dying. And Justin hadn't been the only one. "I'm glad things went well for you. Do you want to stop and grab some ice cream on the way home? Milkshake?"
"Milkshake sounds good, thanks."
"I'm guessing fries as well, then. Two Larges."
I snorted. "Yup. I haven't eaten yet."
We ended up spending a lot more time out than originally planned, first to grab a bite to eat since I had left the funeral with an empty stomach, and then to stop by a park to let my Pokemon hang out a little bit. Angel was in his own personal heaven, getting all of the attention, and a few children had stopped around Mimi to see what Pokemon they were. Buddy was thankfully keeping a careful watch.
"I found a good piano place; it has a bunch of people your age as well for the summer," dad said, his arm wrapped around my shoulder. "Still okay with that?"
"Sure, when do I start?"
"The day after tomorrow." He sipped on a can of beer and let out a satisfied sigh. "And for your therapist— that's the day after that. And don't worry, I'll pay."
Huh. It must have shown on my face that I'd been about to say something. "Thanks." At least I'd be able to talk to someone for this co-dependency stuff. Or just a risk of dependency from me, in Maylene's case. That was a relatively normal issue to have. "I guess… I should tell you something."
He frowned, worried about what to expect. "What is it?"
"Cecilia and I are on a break. Long story short, we've been through too much together and never learned to disconnect. We need to learn how to live on our own from now on. That's it."
"Ah. I can tell you don't want to talk about it, so thank you for telling me." He stroked the hair on my head, and I leaned into the touch. "Breaks are… tough, but I've never been in a situation like yours. I hope things work out for you two, you were cute together. Remember when we baked poffins?"
Warmth filled me. "Yeah! That was so much fun…"
"Don't look so down. We'll do it again someday."
"I hope so too," I whispered and leaned forward, supporting my head in my palm. "You know, sometimes I wonder how in the world did I manage being so alone all the time?"
"You had friends…" he tried.
"Dad, I think that's the first time you've tried to insinuate the amount of social interaction I had was fine." I rolled my eyes at him, and he mimicked me as a fun jab. "Ha. Ha. Very funny. Anyway, Lynn and Clarissa don't count."
They'd tried to contact me and my dad, back when I'd gone back to Jubilife to deal with Poketch politics. I'd refused to meet them. Honestly, lately I might have said yes, but I figured it was too awkward to bring it back up when I'd said no the first time. Most of what I did was follow them around anyway; I was kind of like an adopted pet more than anything.
Oh yeah. Lynn had been my second crush ever, too. The one who'd made me realize that maybe having liked two girls meant I was gay. Even if it went nowhere, and by the time school was over, it had long faded into an old memory, but it was because of her that I'd come out to my dad, so I was thankful anyway.
"I don't know, I could spend hours in my room browsing the forums or watching battles, or in the living room watching TV, and I wouldn't care for anything else," I continued. My teeth clamped down on my bottom lip hard. I hadn't cared that Clarissa and the others hung out outside of school without me at all, except when Lynn was here. "I guess you never know what you have until it's gone."
I had to yell at Sweetheart to quiet down when she demanded Angel's attention away from the others, and a dozen vines wrapped around the Tyranitar to soothe her.
"You're doing okay," he tried. "Putting one foot in front of the other without tripping."
A silent laugh escaped me. He only said that because he didn't know what was going on inside my head. "Yeah. I guess lately I wish I could go back to that state of mind. It'd make the next few…" weeks? months? Probably months, "months a lot easier, if we even get back together."
"Come on, Grace. No matter how bad things are now— no, maybe that's a bad way of phrasing it." He'd always been careful with words. He was the kind of person who liked to gather his thoughts in his head before talking in a debate or an argument. I'd gotten more of my mother's side in that regard. "Look, if we see relationships and your dependence on them as some sort of slider— which is certainly not how those work, but I'll humor you— then you don't run back to one extreme because you've gone too far the other way. There's a middle ground you can strike."
"I know, I know. I was just brooding."
"Won't let you brood on my watch." He messed up my hair.
"Dad! I spent so long fixing that for the funeral! Ugh!"
I started jabbing him in the stomach until he dropped his beer can in the grass.