I Will Save the Villain

Mushrooms can easily be grown outdoors in stacks of logs. Large-scale indoor fungiculture, on the other hand, is a more recent development that has provided the poor of the city with cheap, delicious, and nutritious food.

—Jensen, Willian. Encyclopaedia Kraej, 8th ed., s.v. “Mushroom farming.” 10 vols. Kraej City: Kraej Publishing

Asteria

“This is my last hunting day for a while. I’m like a grizzly. I hibernate during the winter,” I said to Oren and Katja. We were on the bus to East Thuesen, having finished today’s monster hunting session.

“Have you had your heater fixed yet?” asked Katja. I don't know how she did it, but even in this cold weather she was still only wearing a thin cotton T-shirt, jacket, and jeans. Her only concession to the fast-approaching winter season was to wear a colorful scarf.

“I did but it’s still cold!” I said. I was bundled up in a sweater, coat, scarf, hat, and gloves.

Oren, who was sandwiched between two girls, squirmed when Katja leaned over him to hug me. “Why don’t you two sit beside each other?”

“I like the aisle seat and Katja likes the window seat,” I said. “Are you saying you don’t like sitting in between two girls?”

“I didn’t say that,” said Oren. As always, he was wearing his uniform, but he’d switched to the winter version. I think it might be his only good set of warm clothing.

“Anyway, I don’t want to go hunting when it turns really, really cold,” I said. “Oren, do you still have to go monster hunting in winter?”

“Yes. I need the money,” said Oren.

“It must be miserable to trudge around in the countryside killing monsters when it’s freezing outside,” said Katja. “I don’t want to go out hunting in winter either.”

“How cold is it in your apartment, Asteria?” asked Oren.

“Pretty cold! The heater isn’t very strong and cold air is leaking from under the door,” I said.

“Probably from the windows, too,” said Katja.

“I’m thinking of staying with my friend for the next month,” I said.

“A friend from Lieceni?” asked Katja.

“No, he’s from Kraej City,” I said.

“What?! It’s a male friend? You’re thinking of shacking up with some man you just met?” said Katja, her green eyes widening in alarm. “How old is he?”

“Uh…” In the past four months, we’d gone on ten hunting trips together and seen each other for over a dozen lunches. Since I felt more secure in our friendship, I thought I should mention Seraphiel to them. They would find out about him sooner or later, and it was better that the news came from me. But her reaction gave me pause.

“So he is older. Who is he? How long have you known him?” asked Oren.

The two of them turned to me with identical expressions of concern.

“Well, I met him here the first day I arrived in Kraej City,” I said. “You know the northernmost gate? I didn’t know it was military use only. He was there with his friends.”

Each word was technically true since it would be a bad idea to lie to the hero.

“You’ve been dating him for four months and you never told me? Oh my goodness, is he married?” asked Katja.

“We’re not dating. We’re just friends!” I said. It was technically true. Seraphiel never asked me out since he preferred to stay in his apartment with me. We only ate out when Uriel booked a private dining room for us. Therefore, we hadn’t gone out on any real dates.

“She wouldn’t date a married man,” said Oren. “Who is he? If he’s military I might know him.”

“You do know him,” I said.

“I don’t think you should move in with an older man. You’re not even of age yet,” said Katja. “If you don’t want to stay in your apartment you can move in with me.”

“Or we can help you with your apartment,” said Oren. “It’s not that hard to seal the door and window gaps for winter.”

“My friend is insisting that I stay with him though,” I said.

“Have you slept with him?” asked Katja.

“Katja!” said Oren.

“No, I told you we’re just friends,” I said.

Katja leaned over and bopped me on the head. “How can you be so naïve? Once you move in with him, he’ll expect you to sleep with him.”

“That does seem likely,” said Oren. “I think it's a bad idea.”

“If you knew him, you wouldn’t say that,” I said. “And I’m not naïve.”

Oren and Katja exchanged meaningful glances.

“Okay, then tell us who it is,” said Katja.

“Um… He’s not like that, I swear,” I said. “We’re just friends.”

Katja rolled her eyes. “All men are perverts.”

“How old is he?” asked Oren.

“You’re wrong. I’ve been sleeping over at his place and he’s never laid a finger on me,” I said.

“He’s gay? I notice you still haven’t told us his name or how old he is,” said Katja.

I leaned forward and whispered, “It’s a secret because I’m still underage and he… he’s got a high position in the military. We’re just friends though.”

Katja covered her face with her hands. “My little Asteria is being preyed on by a man more than twice her age.”

“Ours is just a platonic friendship. It’s true!” I said.

Oren was looking at me as though I’d gone insane. He said, “Does he know it’s a platonic friendship?”

I sighed. “I’m going to his apartment tonight. If you’re both free, we can go have dinner together.”

“Alright!” said Katja. She stroked the artifacts on her bracelet. “That’s good. I’ll warn him not to try anything on you or I’ll break his face.”

“I still think you shouldn’t move in with whoever it is,” said Oren. “And he should know that if he lays a finger on you, I’ll cut it off.”

“I’ll make him sorry he’s been born,” said Katja. She bumped her two clenched fists together.

“He wouldn’t,” I said. It was impossible because of the virus.

“I’ll turn him into a eunuch,” said Oren.

The two of them came up with more and more grisly threats all the way to our stop.